TRIGGER WARNINGS / CONTENT WARNINGS - Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Bullying, Ableism, Swearing, Violence
Up on the rooftop, the loudness and rush of the school day melted away. Yoo Jin Gyeom, having caught sight of his quarry, didn't notice the breeze that ruffled his neat hair nor the scritch scritch of the concrete beneath his shoes. His attention was wholly focussed on his classmate, Lee Seong Eun.
The young woman stood by the ledge at the edge of the building, looking out over the city. Wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn't notice Jin Gyeom's steady approach.
.
Kim Do Yeon wasn't paying attention when the teacher assigned the class into groups for their latest assessment. Drama class wasn't a high priority for her; it was all fake anyway. In truth, she'd only taken the class because her best friend, Seong Eun, enjoyed it. Sometimes it was even fun, but most of the time it was just cringe.
Do Yeon wasn't taken by fake things, she was much more interested in reality. The fake things just messed her head up and she hated that, a lot. The performance was tacky, so tacky. She wasn't pretending to be anything, she just was. And yet, she conceded, plenty of people preferred a comfortable lie to the hard truth.
That really got to her.
Drama class was her way of working on her issues.
One of Seong Eun's favourite sayings was "fake it til you make it," and Do Yeon was determined to make it at all costs. There was no other alternative for her, no other life. She was so sick of being poor, not quite good enough.
The scrape of chairs and uptick of chatter snapped her out of her funk and Do Yeon glanced around, groaning when she noticed Jin Gyeom take a seat at their table. "Ugh, really?" She lowered her voice, leaning closer to Seong Eun. "He's not a person."
Seong Eun smiled at her. "He is too a person. Keep up, Kim."
Do Yeon laughed, rolling her eyes. "Of course." Jin Gyeom might have been a person, but he was weird. Everybody called him Psychopath and it was easy for her to see why. If he even knew how to human, she'd never seen it.
Last year, she'd let the door close in his face in a half-hearted attempt to get back at him for not holding the door for her in gym class. A loud thump announced that he'd walked right into the door and she spun around to watch him picking himself up from the floor, unable to stop herself from laughing out loud. He got right up, pulled the door open, and joined the rest of the class in the gym as if nothing had happened. He was a total weirdo.
The teacher came by with their assignments and dropped a single copy on the table. Do Yeon turned to watch him go, poked her tongue out. Ha ha.
Turning back around, she noticed Jin Gyeom reaching for the assignment and she leapt up from her seat, clapping a palm upon the papers. "That's so not what's happening." She dragged the assignment closer, settling back in her chair. "Seong Eun, I nominate you for team leader." She handed the papers to her friend.
Seong Eun sighed and nodded, accepting the nomination.
Across the table, Jin Gyeom's hand made a fist, his fingernails scratching across the tabletop, and both girls stared at him. Do Yeon bit back the urge to say something not nice.
"Is that OK with you?" Seong Eun asked Jin Gyeom nervously, and Do Yeon felt her temper rising. Did it even matter what he thought? Not in her books, but that was Seong Eun. A people pleaser.
"Fine," he said, replacing his hand in his lap, his breathing too heavy.
"This sucks," Do Yeon complained. "He's so weird." Not to mention kind of deranged. She twisted around, raising a hand up high. "Teacher!"
Seong Eun placed a hand on her shoulder. "Do Yeon, don't yell. It's too loud."
"I'm not too loud," Do Yeon blurted aggressively, her eyes narrowed.
Seong Eun leaned closer, smiling widely, falsely. "Jin Gyeom is not doing so well."
Do Yeon didn't like it one bit. Seong Eun was being so weird and for what? Because they were working on some stupid assignment together? A cursory glance in Jin Gyeom's direction told Do Yeon that she couldn't give a damn how he was doing, not a single damn. "He looks fine to me. He's always like that."
Seong Eun sighed, took a deep breath. "OK, team." She waved to catch Jin Gyeom's attention. "I'd like to thank you both for nominating me as team leader. I am honoured, and I will do my best to raise this team up to lofty heights. But before we get into that, why don't we take a second to appreciate the moment?"
Do Yeon rolled her eyes. A sick feeling in her stomach reminded her that this was really happening, they'd been assigned to work on this thing together and they had all of three weeks to get their shit together or fail miserably.
"This wonderful moment of solidarity," Seong Eun continued. "Go, team! OK, deep breath."
"Oh my God, you've got to be kidding me, Seong Eun."
Jin Gyeom clearly felt the same way she did; annoyed. He didn't seem to be paying attention to anything Seong Eun was saying and it ticked Do Yeon's boxes completely the wrong way.
"A deep breath, please, Do Yeon. Breathe in, hold a moment, and breathe out." Seong Eun, ignoring her, directed her gaze to Jin Gyeom's face. "Yoo Jin Gyeom? Would you like to join us? Breathe in, hold, and breathe out. Slowly, slowly. Do Yeon, show us how it's done."
"This is so stupid and gross," Do Yeon groaned. Begrudgingly, she lifted a hand to lead them in a short breathing exercise. She forced herself to meet Jin Gyeom's eyes but he wasn't really seeing her, and that raised her ire too.
This weirdo!
By the time they'd gone over the assignment—in groups of one to three, present a performance essay on the following topic—it was the end of class. For Do Yeon, it couldn't have come sooner.
.
An unproductive class on Monday had seen the group struggle to agree on which two plays they'd be addressing for the performance essay which asked the question, How are the elements of drama manipulated to engage the audience in the plays you have studied? Since each of them were tasked with considering one element of drama and dramatising that examination with the help of at least one other team member for the performance essay, it wasn't something they could afford to disagree on, but it didn't seem to be something they could agree on, either.
Jin Gyeom was determined that Wednesday's class would be better. He'd considered his options and asking Seong Eun for help was the best option. He didn't know what he was doing wrong—was he doing something wrong?—but that wasn't anything new. As their team leader, he was sure Seong Eun would be able to help. He didn't want to have to go to the teacher before giving the team a chance. It would reflect poorly on them all if they couldn't work together. If need be, he was prepared to shut up and just take direction.
If nothing else worked, he was fairly certain that would.
Consequently, Jin Gyeom had been following Seong Eun for most of the day, trying to get a moment to talk to her, but she never seemed to notice him. He'd followed her up to the roof, hoping to get a moment alone with her for a chat, and that moment had arrived.
He crossed the rooftop, his eyes glued to Seong Eun in case she tried to make a break for it. He wasn't going to let her escape again. If he did, he'd surely end up messing up again on Wednesday and the class would be wasted, and they'd be no closer to successfully mastering the assignment. He did not want that, very much did not want that.
Seong Eun peered over the edge of the ledge, leaning to look down at the ground. She wiped her face with a hand, stepped back, then stepped closer again. Put her hand on the ledge.
As he drew closer, Jin Gyeom noticed her hand was shaking and he wondered if she was scared of heights. Still, it was a strange thing for her to be standing so close to the edge and leaning over the ledge like that if she was scared of heights. In fact, her being on the rooftop at all was strange, if he thought about it like that.
He looked around, but they were the only two people about. She wasn't meeting anyone else, unless they were late, and she'd come up here alone, without Do Yeon.
If she was afraid of heights and she was attempting to overcome that fear, it was only logical for her to have come with a friend for moral and emotional support, but there was nobody else.
Then again, Jin Gyeom thought, he didn't know Seong Eun well enough, hadn't cared to know her well enough, to know if this was typical behaviour for her. Or if, indeed, she was scared of heights.
Perhaps her hand was shaking for some other reason.
As he watched, Seong Eun attempted to hoist herself up onto the ledge and Jin Gyeom's mind did not approve. Some other reason such as trying to kill herself, it said.
He ran to her side and grabbed hold of her arms. Killing yourself was not good. It went against a living being's prerogative, which was to live, to go on living. It was not good.
Seong Eun struggled, reaching for the ledge. It seemed that she had indeed come up to the roof to end her life.
She managed to break free of his hold and ran for the edge of building again. He grabbed her around the middle and dragged her back. He'd yet to ask her what he'd come to ask and she just kept fighting with him, trying to get back to the ledge.
Seong Eun smacked him across the face and Jin Gyeom momentarily let go of her. He was trying to help her but she'd hit him. She'd very intentionally hit him.
But you're not helping her. She wants to die.
Seong Eun scrambled to the ledge.
She wants to die.
Tears streamed down her face, her whole body trembling.
She wants to die.
Do Yeon wasn't going to answer his questions. She'd called him weird and she laughed at him when he tried to talk to her.
Jin Gyeom lurched forward, threw his arms around Seong Eun. She was the only one he could ask. He was bigger and stronger than her; if he held onto her and didn't let go, he could take her away from here, take her to somewhere safe where she couldn't hurt herself. He could take her to Do Yeon.
.
Do Yeon shrieked, horror overtaking her whole body. She saw Seong Eun sobbing, fighting to get away from that crazy boy—she'd heard he wasn't right, everybody said so, seen it herself, but this was worse, way worse. The whole thing was way worse.
She was paralysed with fear for a few moments, terrible, excruciating moments that seemed to stretch on forever, and then a couple of people ran past her to help Seong Eun and Do Yeon could move again.
She fell to her knees and held Seong Eun. Held her tight and cried.
.
"I've been told you were the first to arrive on the rooftop after Lee Seong Eun and Yoo Jin Gyeom," Detective Ko said.
After the police had taken eye witness statements, after the school spoke to them, after Seong Eun's parents were contacted and Seong Eun was taken to hospital, after Jin Gyeom was taken for questioning, this detective had come to talk to her.
"I know what I saw," Do Yeon said.
"Do you think you could walk me through it?"
Do Yeon looked up to meet Detective Ko's eyes, wrapping her arms around herself, nodded.