Being a Paladin meant making sacrifices. They all knew this. It was an uncomfortable reality that they never talked about. At any point, they could enter a fight where someone had to give up something; information that costs them the war, their freedom, maybe their life. They were all expecting this kind of sacrifice. It was a storm in the distance they were sailing towards but not quite there yet. A storm far enough away that they did not pay attention to it. Any minute they could find themselves inside the storm, being struck down and torn apart. They all knew this.

What Keith was not expecting was sacrificing sleep. Losing sleep in general he had guessed, but he figured it would only be a few nights here and there. Not every night. Not for months.

At first, Keith stayed in bed until he eventually fell asleep. Staring at the ceiling every night got kinda boring and unproductive. No matter what he did, he would always stay awake. There were a few nights where he got no sleep at all. Surprisingly, his lack of sleep did not affect his Paladin performance. At least, not enough for the team to notice. As the nights continued to be sleepless, Keith tried different methods to induce sleep. If he was going to be up anyway, how about trying to exhaust himself to sleep? He tried training. Either right before he went to bed as his evening activity, or after everyone was asleep. Sometimes this worked; he tired himself out to the point of needing sleep just to have a break. But he did not always have enough energy. Keith took to wandering the Castle late at night after trying to sleep.

For some reason, the empty Castle made Keith feel something. He couldn't quite put a finger on it. He felt free. Calm. He could do whatever he wanted without feeling the need to explain himself. No eyes on him. The others did have sleepless nights, however, none of them seemed to have disordered sleep. They would have little stints of sleeplessness but then be okay. Keith, on the other hand, could not remember the last time he got more than 5 hours of sleep. And 5 hours was on a good night.

Keith mostly spent his time wandering the castle. He tried working out first. Tiring himself out, exhausting himself into slumber. But he only felt more energized afterwards. And there was only so much he could do without waking up his teammates. He attempted to find something in the med bay to help knock himself out. All the bottles and such were labelled in Altean. He didn't want to get Coran or Allura to help; he was too stubborn to admit he needed help. So Keith took to walking around the Castle. Finding different nooks and crannies in each room. Honestly, it could be beneficial, if someone got into the Castle and they had to hide. Keith didn't know if the others knew of these secret hiding spots, but maybe he could direct them to spots, should the need arise.

Keith realized Shiro checked in on the Paladin's rooms sometimes. He had been in the kitchen, grabbing something to drink. Keith called it "juice" despite not actually knowing if that was correct. He did not care enough. He bumped into Shiro in the halls, cup in hand. Shiro asked what was up, that caring tone he always had, rich with concern. Keith motioned to the cup, brushed Shiro off by saying he was just getting a drink randomly. Not a lie but not the truth. Shiro accepted this. He walked Keith to his room. Keith stayed in there, making sure to check Shiro's room before resuming his wandering.

It was another night devoid of sleep. Keith decided this night that he would camp out in the library.

He figured out Shiro's schedule for checking in on the Paladins and timed him. Shiro would lightly knock on the door, wait a few seconds for a response, and then if there was none, would scan the room. If there was someone inside, he would cautiously open the door to check on them. Keith mastered the breathing rhythm to make Shiro's suspicions subside. Keith would then sneak out, check to see if Shiro was asleep, and went off to do whatever.

Keith started with reading a book in the library. He had read many of them already over the course of his multiple insomniac nights. First, he had tackled the fighting books, then the ones about different alien species. His interest was piqued by folklore and stories from other alien planets. That was what he was reading that night.

With all the reading he did, he got thirsty at some point in the night. Keith cleaned up his area, in case he did not plan on returning to the activity or room. He tiptoed over to the kitchen, grabbed some juice. A good sign that he was getting tired was the mental energy it took to execute the consumption of the liquid. He didn't know what berries and fruit Hunk used to make some of it, but he loved it.

When back in his room, he heard a strange THUNK noise come from his Paladin helmet on the dresser. Keith put on the device and got the location of where the last transmission came from. Pidge's helmet had sent the noise, and when Keith tracked it, the location was in the technology room. Keith kept his helmet on him and jogged soundlessly to the tech room.

A faint light was casting shadows on the hallway from the open door. If Pidge was trying to hide something, she wasn't being discreet. Keith cautiously tiptoed to the room in case something bad was happening. He peeked his head around.

Pidge was at her desk. To Keith, the desk was the cluttered mess of someone who didn't care about living in chaos. To Pidge, however, she knew exactly where things were.

The Paladin in question was awake, but just barely. No danger appeared to be present. It seemed as though she was working on something with one of the spare helmets. Her arms quivering slightly as she took some sort of tool to the helmet. Light from the screens in front of her framed the Green Paladin. She typed something on the computer gadget. From where Keith was he could barely make out what was displayed. One screen seemed like notes and the other resembled more equations.

Keith waited for a while, just observing. He did not really want to interrupt her work but it was getting late. For the other non-insomniac Paladins.

By the time Keith gathered the courage to enter, Pidge hadn't really moved a lot. It was the uncertainty of Pidge's reaction that kept him from entering. Would she pester him with questions? Would she tell the others? Lying to Pidge would feel just wrong. Out of all the Castle mates, Pidge was probably the hardest to lie to. It didn't feel right for some reason.

Keith wanted to cry when he saw what she was working on.

The screens, the tornado of notes, were filled with theories on how to track down Matt, Pidge's brother. Keith knew that this project was in progress, seeing Pidge work on it in the daytime. But now it seemed like an obsession. Did Pidge really work into the night, trying to find him from this room, exhausting her brain until it literally collapsed? Until she passed out?

The next thing he saw that broke his heart was a mound of empty cups, the smell of the space coffee coming from them. One sat on the desk, only half consumed.

Pidge, the Paladin in question, was now asleep in her chair. Keith awkwardly tidied the papers into piles. The next task was deciding whether to wake Pidge up. And then if he should get her to bed.

Keith decided to move her gently to her room. He carefully, slowly, and cautiously lifted her into his embrace. An arm under her knees, one around her back. He managed to carry the small Paladin to her room without her waking up. He laid her down on her bed, took her shoes off, and tucked her in. She snuggled into her pillow and sighed sleepily.

"Thanks, Matt," she mumbled but Keith heard it. His eyes burned with tears he would not release.

The following day was a rest day. Which was good for them to sleep in, and the rest didn't last long. Everyone was in the dining room around the same time except for Pidge.

Keith, after putting her in bed, roamed the Castle some more until his body finally crashed. Thankfully he made it to his room before sleep overcame him. He woke up with the sound of Lance singing in the shower faintly. It was simultaneously cute and annoying as hell. Keith made himself presentable and went to the kitchen. The others had trickled in after.

SLAM

Pidge stormed into the room, arms crossed. None of them had seen Pidge this furious outside of battle. They all waited, Allura and Shiro notably exchanging looks but not daring to speak.

"Well?! Who was it?!" Pidge finally demanded.

Shiro's eyebrows knitted into confusion. Lance and Hunk's faces had innocence all over them. Allura looked more curious than confused. Coran did not seem to recognize the rage.

"Pidge! Did you have a good rest?" Coran perkily replied. Pidge rolled her eyes at the older Altean. She eyed each member ferociously, ending on Keith. He sighed.

"Pidge, you were asleep at the desk when I passed by. I figured you should rest someplace where your body wouldn't hate you in the morning." Keith calmly explained and she made a motion as if strangling someone her own size. He imagined that space being filled with a smaller version of himself.

"I was almost there, though! I almost-" Pidge groaned and all the tension left her. She silently yet angrily grabbed food and stormed out of the room.

"Hey! Where is she going?" Lance asked Keith.

Keith had a suspicion but was unsure of whether to tell his fellow Paladins.

"Keith? Care to enlighten us?" Shiro asked.

"I was getting a drink last night and took a walk around the castle," Keith lied, "And I saw Pidge was passed out at her desk. So I relocated her to her room so she wouldn't get a neck cramp or something."

Shiro nodded in thought.

"Do you know what she was doing so late?" Allura, whose voice matched the concern on her face, asked.

"I also cleaned up her workspace so she's probably a bit pissed about that," Keith said instead of answering. He settled down to eat his own breakfast next to Lance. His boyfriend put a reassuring hand on his leg, rubbing tiny circles there for a minute.

"Well, maybe after some food she will feel more up for company," Allura theorized. "Perhaps we can offer her some help with whatever is bothering her? Whatever project she has going on?"

When Keith's brows furrowed, Allura pointed out that he used the term 'desk' which meant she was working on something. Keith nodded his head. He didn't feel it was his place to say what she was working on. Shiro spoke up next; he asked Keith what he was doing up late.

"I told you, I was thirsty," Keith said quickly. Shiro sighed; he did not believe Keith but knew that the Red Paladin likely wasn't going to tell him. He gave an expression that read We are going to talk later and then told the group that he was going to figure out training with the bots. Keith figured he should go talk to Pidge. He finished his breakfast and told Lance he was going to talk to Pidge privately. Lance agreed it would be a good idea and he would distract Hunk, in case Hunk went to check on Pidge and accidentally intruded on them. Keith quickly pecked Lance on the forehead and swiftly left to find Pidge.

She was exactly where she had been the previous night, except this time with her breakfast. She was going through the papers, laying them all out across the desk. The room - and Pidge, if Keith was being honest - did not seem so big when the lights were on and it was their version of daytime. He sidled up next to Pidge, making sure that his fellow Paladin could hear that he was coming.

"What do you want?" Pidge grumbled.

"I wanted to apologize for messing up your papers. I thought I was being helpful with that, but now I see it means more work for you." Keith honestly apologized. When Pidge kept silent, he continued. He explained how he had found her. Lying about why he was awake exactly. He explained how late it was and that she passed out before Keith actually tried approaching her. How she didn't wake up when he carried her away, or placed her in bed, or took her shoes off. While getting to this part of the explanation, Keith noticed that Pidge hadn't changed.

"Uh, Pidge? Maybe after you are done arranging the papers and tablets, you should go have a bath or shower?"

Pidge glared at him briefly. She continued with rearranging the papers and tablets. Keith sighed. Maybe that was how Shiro typically felt when he tried to get Keith to take a break.

"Pidge. What is all this for?"

Keith looked over from his position to try and get a good look. When he cleaned up the previous night, he wasn't focused on the contents of the pages and screens. Now that he actually put the effort in, he could discern a few things. The tablets had some possible contacts for people, as well as security footage of unfamiliar places. The papers were records of some sort. It looked like ship records; crewmates, passengers, trade goods, species. Keith caught a glimpse at one that had a log of captives, or what the document called "forced volunteers", that made his stomach drop. The bigger screens had maps that switched every 30ish seconds.

Pidge's breath rattled. Her hands flew up to her eyes and she folded in on herself. Keith would have tried to catch her as she fell, but she collapsed into the chair. Keith stayed frozen in place.

Lance is a lot better at the comfort thing, he thought painfully.

"We are all so focused on defeating Zarkon and the Galra and such. I didn't want to sidetrack or bother you all with this." She finally admitted.

"What is this?" Keith probed, almost robotically. He really needed to learn how to emote better. Pidge took a moment to gather the strength to talk.

"The whole reason I attended the Garrison early and disguised was to try and find my brother and Dad. All of this?" Pidge sniffed, removing her hands to gesture to her work, "is what I have to work with to find them. So far."

It was Keith's turn to take a minute. If he could get his father back, Keith knew he would go through hell and high water to accomplish that. His life between losing his dad and joining Voltron had been rough at best. He couldn't imagine what this must have been like for Pidge.

"Pidge," Keith breathed. Something in how Keith said it must have piqued Pidge's interest because she made eye contact with him. There wasn't rage, just profound loss and determination in her eyes. "We could try and help you. You just had to ask."

Pidge frowned, looking back at her work. "I didn't want to take time away from Voltron. You all have other things to focus on."

Keith chuckled but there was no humour in it.

"Yeah, I have so much training to focus on." Keith sarcastically said. "Hunk reeeeally needs to focus on his baking. Lance actually needs to focus less on himself and his skincare routine."

That got a chuckle out of Pidge.

"I love my significant annoy-Lance, but seriously. How many skincare products does one person need?"

Keith waited for both of their laughter to die down before continuing.

"Seriously, when we aren't on Galra-defeating missions or training, we can help. All you have to do is ask."

Pidge processed that idea for an agonizingly long minute in silence.

"Yeah, okay. I'll tell them later." She said after a while, breaking the silence. She looked down at her clothes. "I'm still really tired and need to clean up. Maybe I'll tell them at the next mealtime."

Keith awkwardly went to pat her back but second-guessed himself. He then switched to a thumbs up, but that felt wrong. Pidge roared laughing, having witnessed this.

"I appreciate the talk, Keith. And, uh thanks. But also next time, just wake me up."

"Oh no, I'm not apologizing for letting you sleep." Keith quickly said.

"Yeah, but again. I didn't change or anything."

"Okay well, you can change now."

Pidge decided not to push it. She sauntered out of the room but stopped at the door to say: "Don't worry Keith. Your insomnia is safe with me as long as it doesn't hurt you. Also, if you're affected, that could hinder us forming Voltron, but the first concern is you."

Before Keith could even process or retort, Pidge was gone to shower.