I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Then this idea popped into my head, and I wrote the whole fic in one sitting. (I cannot emphasize enough just how rare that is for me.) So here you go.

This fic ignores Mineta's existence. :)

Somehow, completely by accident, Todoroki managed to turn a perfectly average Monday morning upside down.

It all started with an innocent comment from Iida shortly before class began. As usual, he was walking past his classmates' desks, pointing out any small infractions he noted. He gave Kaminari a very enthusiastic lecture about taking his pencil shavings to the trash instead of brushing them onto the floor. Then, with a long-suffering sigh, he told Ashido that no, she could not borrow one of his extra pens.

"You can have one of mine!" Uraraka said.

"Uraraka! Do not encourage her bad habits!"

So yeah. Typical morning. That is, until Iida looked at Todoroki and said, "Sit up straight!"

Now, after opening up to Midoriya during the sports festival, Todoroki had been slowly changing. He had grown more comfortable expressing himself, and he had begun to spend more time with his classmates. Which meant, among other things, picking up their sense of humor. On days like today, when he was tired from staying up late to train and study, he had even been known to make a joke or two of his own.

So he wasn't acting entirely out of character when, without looking up from his textbook, he deadpanned, "Bold of you to assume I'm heterosexual."

He assumed no one would hear him.

He was wrong.

Yaoyorozu was the first to break the stunned silence. She clasped her hands and said, "That's wonderful, Todoroki! I'm grateful you trust us enough to tell us something so personal."

"Super manly, dude," said Kirishima with a thumbs-up.

Wait a second. They were taking him seriously?

Oh, this was not good.

Oh, shit.

In theory, Todoroki had no problem with his classmates thinking he was gay. Realistically, though? He had two major problems. First, he wasn't even sure it was true, and second, even if it was, he wasn't ready to touch the subject with a ten-foot pole.

But now it was out in the open, and he could do nothing but watch his classmates react.

In typical stoic fashion, Tokoyami gave him a silent nod of approval. Although Kouda likewise remained silent, he turned toward Todoroki and offered him an encouraging look. Satou began saying something about making a rainbow cake after school.

"I'm so happy for you, Todoroki," said Uraraka, getting out of her chair to congratulate him. She was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Uraraka!" said Iida. "I, too, wish to acknowledge the joy of this occasion, but sit down!"

She complied, but not without sticking out her tongue at Iida and then flashing Todoroki a radiant smile.

"Do none of you morons get the joke?" Bakugou asked. He glared at each of his classmates in turn. "Which wasn't at all funny, by the way."

"Of course we get the joke, Kacchan, but we want to let Todoroki know we support him—"

"Shut up, Deku!"

With that, Midoriya turned back to his notebook, in which he'd been scribbling furiously amid the hullabaloo, and resumed his muttering.

"If it was a joke," said Asui, "it was very clever."

"I'm just proud of Todoroki for saying anything funny, period," said Sero.

"He's one of us!" giggled Ashido.

"Wait," whispered Kaminari, tapping Shouji and Ojiro on the shoulders. "I don't get it. Explain? I don't wanna miss out!"

Jirou rolled her eyes at him.

"I got the joke," Aoyama said. "He was making a pun—"

At that moment, Aizawa finally showed up. Todoroki sighed with relief, even though his teacher seemed grumpier than usual. Maybe he would pull another of his logical ruses, and everyone would be too scared to remember that Todoroki had said anything.

"Good morning, sensei!" Iida said with a bow. "I sincerely apologize for the commotion!"

"I don't even want to know what you kids are on about today," said Aizawa.

"Sensei!" chirped Hagakure. "Todoroki just came out to everyone!"

Oh, God, Todoroki thought.

"Actually, that's not what I did," he said, but no one seemed to pay much attention to him. Funny how that worked.

"Whatever Todoroki's orientation—which, I cannot emphasize enough, I don't want to hear about—he, along with the rest of you, has to take a pop quiz on Friday's history lesson. Clear your desks."

Everyone groaned.

Once classes were in full swing, the other students mostly left Todoroki alone, aside from giving him a broad grin every now and then. Midoriya began to walk over at one point, but a question from Uraraka distracted him. Todoroki was starting to think the worst of it was over. At least, until Aizawa asked him to stay behind for a moment after class was dismissed for lunch. The day, it seemed, was determined to match his bad jokes with a whole slew of its own.

"Go ahead, guys," Todoroki said to Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida, who seemed about ready to burst with anticipation. When their faces fell, he added, "I'll be right behind you."

After they left, Aizawa turned to Todoroki. To his surprise, his teacher's grumpiness gave way to something softer, though no less serious.

"As I said before, I neither want nor need to know even the most minor details having to do with your sexual orientation. But I'll make one exception." Here he looked Todoroki straight in the eye. "If any of your classmates give you trouble about it, even a little, you can tell me. Scratch that, I expect you to tell me. Do you understand?"

Todoroki expected the warmth that crept up his neck and across his face from embarrassment. What he didn't expect was the warmth that gathered in his chest at Aizawa's words. No matter how many times he'd experienced feeling safe over the past few months, the sensation still took him by surprise.

He nodded and said, "Yes, sensei. I understand."

"Good. Now get out of here," said Aizawa, waving toward the door.

Upon leaving the classroom, Todoroki paused to adjust his bag and reflect on what in the world had happened. A spontaneous smart-ass remark that he hadn't intended anyone to hear, that contained far more truth than he was willing to think about, had inspired an outpouring of affection from his classmates and a show of support from his cranky homeroom teacher. It was all so strange yet so wonderful. Was this how it felt to be loved unconditionally? He wasn't sure. Whatever it was, he realized, he… kind of liked it. He felt as though he'd been given a cloak of protection against the world's harshness. It was comforting and encouraging all at once.

For as long as it lasted, Todoroki resolved, he would let himself treasure it.

"Bold of you to assume I'm heterosexual" has become my unofficial motto, since I'm a bisexual gal who is pretty tired of constantly being mistaken for straight.

Hope you got some laughs out of this!