Hello! Welcome, this is a story that I am working on for a little bit. This is a story about secrets and real-life problems that may or may not be relevant to me personally. For those who know the members, well get ready for knew introductions to new characters. This story is about the usage of the imagination and opening the heart to people. To give a fair warning, these are heavy topics and personal ships.

I have reread this over and over again, so I sincerely apologize if there are grammar errors or comprehension problems. I try my best to edit all of my mistakes but there is always something that I miss. Please let me know if there is something that I can make clearer for you to fluidly read.

*Disclaimer - I do not own Love Live characters

Chapter 1 – Summer of the Ever-Changing

Every day she looks at herself with such discontent. Everything has changed since she was a high school freshman, people would fawn over her like she was a newborn baby and give her grace. Expectations are setting in as if she is the only one that can fix things. As if she were a superhero but in reality, she is only a weak individual that cannot see anything past the present.

Her rasped breathing made it difficult to keep quiet and harder to stay calm. She thought to herself, why do people rave over being alive so much? They are living to get hurt, breathing to take in toxic air, eating to survive in a segregated world, and suffering for pleasure. Her mind was working too hard. Her brain was on overload as she was staring at herself in the mirror of the girl's bathroom at her school. 'Why did this happen now?' She is sweating profusely like never before and panicking as if she was being held, hostage. Well, she felt like she was being held hostage, in her mind that is.

She was standing in front of the sinks, leaning on them for support and gripping them until her knuckles were white. 'What is happening?' The girl thought as she tried to calm herself down. 'What elicited this pain?' She was asking questions that she obviously did not have the answers to and was not going to get them because she was not a psychologist. Flashbacks of a girl started flickering in her head. 'Who is that?' The girl's apricot hair flowing behind her was mesmerizing, but her face was blurred out. There was also someone else with them, but again, the face was blurred out.

The panicking girl stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door. She faced the receding Japanese toilet and bent over as if she was preparing to throw up. It did not come out, instead, she placed her hands by the temporal lobe of her head and pushing in to create pressure. She learned from a website that putting pressure on the temporal lobes of the brain helps headaches. It was helping sort of, but it wasn't doing away with the repeating visuals of the two people in her blurry vision. 'What instigated this?' She thought once more. She took one big breath in and one big breath out. Once she did that there was a loud bang at the door.

"Honoka!" Her loud, obtrusive friend Umi screamed at her as she entered the bathroom. "Honoka! You can't just run away from your presidential duties because you don't want to do them. Where are you?"

Honoka step out of the restroom and smiled. She looked at Umi and said, "I'm not running away. I needed to use the restroom. You don't need to keep an eye on me, I know that I can't run away 'as much as I want to' she thought." Honoka went over to wash her hands.

"Well, it just seems like you're avoiding them," Umi said as she glared at her old childhood friend.

Honoka finished washing her hands and rubbing them together. She then was shaking the water off and looked at the mirror and was thankful that she wasn't sweating anymore. She clenched her jaw tight and turned away from the mirror to face the dark blue-haired girl. She smiled and walked towards her while reaching out a hand to place on her shoulder. Her grip was tight but it wasn't alarming. She whispered, "Why didn't you become president then?" Umi faced the blue orbs that hinted a bit darker than normal and froze. Umi knew exactly why she wasn't the president. She knew that Honoka was a powerful girl. Honoka can lift up a crowd with her happy self that genuinely loves life but she can also terrify those around her with her stare.

Umi cleared her throat and said, "That's because Eli knew that you were a perfect match for the job. Though you are infuriating at times, especially when you don't want to work, you know how to move the crowd. How many more times must I tell you? It's been 3 months since the third years have left." Umi shook off Honoka's hand and face the door.

Both girls kept quiet as they exited the bathroom and down the hall to the student council room. When they reached the room, they saw the president/principal of the school standing by the window whispering to her daughter. Kotori's mother was a businesswoman and she knew no other personality when she set foot in the student council room.

She stood tall with her skintight gray suit and her arms crossed in front of her, " Girls." She huffed out as Honoka and Umi stepped in. She normally didn't have this aura around her but something was different.

"I need to make a request. This request solely belongs to Honoka, the student council president." The president walked up close to her and nodded.

Honoka had an unsettling feeling. "What is it?"

The president huffed and took a few steps back. She leaned her hip on the closest table and rubbed her neck with her right hand. "The director of the school board wants to check the variability of the school. He wants to see that we can offer more than just a musical idol group that is no longer together. You saved the school from closing but we didn't prevent it for future generations. Of course, we will be labeled as "THE" school for quite a while but realistically, that won't save us." The president gave Honoka a side glance.

Honoka felt the tension. She spoke after a minute and asked for Kotori and Umi to leave them as this is a job only for Honoka, apparently. Kotori left and finally, Umi left after protesting.

"So, why is this only my job?" Honoka was standing impeccably tall. She unconsciously straightened her school jacket.

The president got up from leaning on the table and let her arms dangle to the sides. She exclaimed, "I don't know. The director of the school board requested that you are to meet him alone and show him why you should keep our gates open. I would've gladly done it, but he was aggravatingly adamant about your sole presence." Kotori's mother had an angry look on her face that made it seem like this was out of bounds from a director to demand, but they know they have the power.

"Did Eli ever have to meet him?" Honoka questioned. The president of the school just simply nodded no.

This quiet response made the tension rise for an unknown reason. After a few minutes of complete silence, Kotori's mother broke the silence and walked close to Honoka again. She placed both hands on her shoulders which she could feel Honoka's building muscle because of her dancing days. She leaned over slightly, her eyes met Honoka's. "Honoka. This man you are going to meet is one of the directors that will rule over everyone with his power. I'm not trying to scare you, but this meeting is crucial for you not to be the normally happy, and clueless self. That may seem like an insult and to be honest, it probably is if you think about it, but he is a man that should not be messed with. School directors are under a significant amount of stress because of the constant nagging from the government, workers, and school education system. I don't know why he wants to meet only with you, but, if he tries to release any stress on you, make sure he regrets it and I will deal with the repercussions. I don't believe he will but I will warn you he has the reputation of being merciless."

Honoka mentally thought, 'Then why are you letting me meet him, alone? And why must she insult me now?' Honoka took a few breaths in and the feeling of wanting to throw up was back. "When?" Honoka asked.

"Tomorrow, after school," The principal replied.

Their conversation was ended when the principal got a phone call. She walked out of the room leaving Honoka standing alone in the room facing the walls. Umi came walking in. She had a concerned looked on her face because Honoka was incredibly quiet.

"Are you okay?" Umi asked while Kotori shuffled behind her.

Honoka didn't answer. Instead, she gulped down a big wad of spit to keep her insides from coming up. She then turned around and told both of them not to worry and that she was okay.

Umi and Kotori knew it was a lie. All three of them were keeping secrets from one another and it was truly a heartbreaking scene to happen between childhood best friends. After the seniors graduated and they did the parade, they kept in touch but they were moving forward with their lives. The three best friends tried to keep in contact but a relationship was developed between Umi and Kotori. Their amount of time together diminished which didn't bother Honoka, though she didn't understand why it has decreased. Umi's and Kotori's confirmation of their love took most of the summer so they didn't hang out with Honoka as much as they should have because when school started, they noticed Honoka was different. She acted coldly and she always seemed on alert for something or someone. Also, her grades were improving and she took her student council job more seriously. They knew that she was hanging out with Tsubasa after school to help her with A-Rise activities. But according to Tsubasa, they didn't hang out that often during the summer.

What happened during the summer for Honoka?

They all grabbed their bags and started walking through the hallways where their shoes echoed. The three of them hardly said any words until they reached the gate. Honoka took a few larger steps forward and spun around like those anime girls in the romance shows. "I'm going to Tsubasa's. I'll see you two later." She then spun back around and started walking, leaving behind her friends that were left in wonder, why is she so different?

The sky was full of darkening clouds and a slight breeze. Though the sky was still clear, they knew a storm was coming their way and what will come with it won't just be another day, it was a brooding feeling.

The walk over to Tsubasa's school was nice. The breeze helped release the tension she felt during the meeting with the principal and her friends that were keeping secrets. Honoka's mind was also filled with the meeting tomorrow and the premonitions of the blurry faces. Her mind would wander and then she pictured Tsubasa's face. Seeing her smile and her green marble eyes overtook her thoughts. She couldn't help smiling.

"Hey! Sorry, I'm late. I had a student council meeting." Honoka shouted as she ran to the doors of the school and met with Tsubasa who was standing next to it.

"It's unprofessional for the former leader of μ and the breakaway of idol stardom to be late," Tsubasa said in a cunning way.

Honoka giggled and responded, "Did you miss me?"

Tsubasa only smirked and turned to walk through the ginormous doors of her prestigious all-girl school. They made their way to the practice room. Since A-Rise is going professional after high school, they are starting to enter idol competitions and labels that will take them on. Apparently, they have gotten multiple offers already but being humble and all, they want to pass or fail an audition like any other group would do.

Honoka greeted the two other members of A-Rise, Erena, and Anju. They both greeted her back and all four of them went to go change into their practice clothes. Honoka had a spare there because she was helping them with their dances. After μ ended, Tsubasa asked Honoka to join their practices to watch them and possibly dance with them too. Honoka initially thought it was weird that they didn't ask Umi or Eli but Honoka couldn't turn it down because she wanted to get closer to her. They would dance until nightfall and eat dinner after. She wouldn't get home until 21:00 (9pm) or even 22:00 but she thought to herself that it was worth it. She was also getting better at studying lately, and actually retaining information which was great but the reasoning behind it was nothing of the sort resolute.

"Holy moly, that was difficult," Honoka exclaimed as she plopped to the ground. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and her mouth wide open letting in as much oxygen as her body can take. It was 19:00 (7pm) and it was dinner time. Erena called in pizza for them in the meantime while they all caught their breaths.

"When is the competition again?" Honoka asked Anju who happened to be the closest. They didn't talk that much to one another but they liked each other.

"2 days. It's a small competition." Anju breathed out her words.

"What is the prize?" Honoka continued the conversation.

"Uh… I think it's a microphone signed by Miyafumi Chizu. I haven't heard anything from her recently though," Anju said while looking at Honoka. Anju noticed Honoka tensed up at the name.

"Hmmm, interesting that they wouldn't give more of a reasonable prize like a record label." Honoka finished the sentence in a gloomy matter.

Anju bated, "Do you not like her?"

Honoka just looked at the orange-haired girl and said, "I don't like the fact she hides but then again, she denies those who try to save her."

The conversation ended when the pizza arrived. They all ate while talking about unimportant topics and random things. Honoka really enjoyed these moments because it's a time where she could be completely relaxed.

"Alright, we should call it a night. We are meeting again tomorrow. Honoka, you don't have to come because I know you have a pending meeting tomorrow." Erena suggested.

All four of them cleaned up and got ready to go home. Erena and Anju walked ahead of them. Honoka waited for Tsubasa as she was finished logging their report to the schoolbooks and records. Tsubasa jogged up to Honoka and tapped her back, "Sorry, did you wait long?"

Honoka nodded and did the gesture with her hand for them to start walking. Both of them were silent for a minute or two. Then Tsubasa inquired, "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The principal made it seem like he'll want to do something to me but I don't think that's the case, though I do think it is something very important. I don't know why he would want to meet with an 18-year-old student council president instead of the actual president of the school." Honoka finished with a quirked smile.

"It seems important if he wants to meet you personally. Have you ever met him? Or seen him online?" Tsubasa said while trotting alongside Honoka.

"No. I don't really feel the need to see his face. I'm not interested in principal Minami's affairs. I feel like if I look at his face before I meet him, it's going to make me even more nervous." Honoka uttered with a distant voice.

Tsubasa nodded in agreement. She also had something on her mind. She needed to verbalize it now or she doesn't think it will ever happen. She took a deep breath in to try to settle her pounding heart, "Honoka. I have a question for you." Tsubasa stopped after she said that.

Honoka stopped in her track as she was a few steps ahead of her. She turned around and said, "Yeah, what is it?"

Tsubasa took another deep breath but this time it was through the nose. Even though it was still warm outside, Tsubasa felt chilly for some reason. 'Ok.' She thought. "You have been helping my group for a while now… Uhm," Tsubasa was starting to fidget.

"Yes?" Honoka egged her to continue.

"Honoka. You… You've been acting weird lately. Like really weird." Tsubasa finally got it out.

Honoka stood there in disbelief. She took in the words for a second and asked, "Is it that weird that I'm actually applying myself to school and doing better? Do people like the stupid clumsy version of me more?" Honoka didn't mean it to sound like that but she felt irritated.

"No that's not what I meant. We started doing this practice thing before summer break and we didn't hang out that much, but after it, you started to act like another person. Of course, I like to see you assert yourself in your studies but you always look tired and your eyes… They don't shine anymore," Tsubasa paused then continued to ask the final question, "what happened during your summer?"

Honoka stood there in silence thinking about her response. Internally, she thought that her friends and family really must think she is stupid for doing well in school. Honoka pondered. She thought about the incident that happened in the bathroom this morning. Thinking about it, she found her answer sometime during the practice but didn't have time to really analyze it. Her memories that she suppressed deep within her, but why is it showing up? Summer, she lost a little bit of herself.

Honoka started to reply, "Summer. I realized that I am no good the way that I am. I will always disappoint the people that I need and love the most. I have to change in order to conquer the world that I want and what will bring everyone the most happiness. I am tired because I can't fail again because if I do, there is no return this time." Honoka told Tsubasa in the middle of the sidewalk. The night was inching in Tsubasa's skin as Honoka's eyes and aura went to another level of dark.

"Who did you fail?" Tsubasa croaked.

Honoka smiled and turned away to continue walking towards the darkness that was the poorly lit street but it worked for the analogy that she was going somewhere and she was not returning.

The next day was tough. Classes seemed to drag on longer than normal which irritated Honoka. She sat there bouncing her leg to the point where it felt like a vibrating chair. The teacher came by and gave her a look of 'Shut it or else!' Honoka then stopped but then went to watch the clock tick and tick.

The final bell rang. Honoka was the first one to step up and bow. She ran outside to catch some air before she headed in for her meeting and looked up to the sky. The clouds were forming and there was darkness gloom hovering over. the school A storm was coming. She didn't have time to think. She ran out of the classroom to the principal's office. After getting there, she took a few breaths and brushed off the sleeping numbness that she felt. Her heart was beating to the point where it felt it was going to combust in her chest. She knocked on the door. She heard a man's voice telling her, "Come in."

Umi looked as she has seen a ghost. Her skin went pale and her eyes fixated on nothing. The news of Honoka's disappearance shook the members of μ's and A-Rise. Late last night Honoka's parents called them to Maki's house along with all the other 6 girls and their parents. As they arrived her parents told them to sit down and wait for the rest of the group to get there. The last one to show up was surprisingly Maki. She was out shopping and forgot her phone so she arrived with a sea of eyes planted on her.

"Nice for you to join us, where is your phone?" Maki's mother asked her.

"Sorry, I forgot it. What's happening?" Maki inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Honoka's parents were in front of the group and the mother stepped forward. She looked as if death was knocking on her door because she has been up multiple nights without sleep, waiting for her eldest daughter to come home.

"I am sure the current student of Honoka's high school has realized that Honoka has not been to school." Honoka's mother announced. The graduated third years were confused to say the least. Honoka's mother continued, "She's – She's missing. She hasn't been home in 3 days. We checked if she went to school and she but, she never returned. We have contacted authorities but we have no information. We wanted to keep quiet so we wouldn't worry you all, but at this point, I don't know what to do." The mother tried to hold herself the best she can. Her husband stepped forward and placed his big hands on her shaking shoulders.

"We called you all here to get a story or stories to where she may be. We wanted a group instead of individually because it would be faster to relay a message and get a whole story. Honoka… She – " The father couldn't finish his sentence. Everyone looked at them in horror as the information of Honoka's disappearance came full throttle to the ears.

After about 30 minutes of dead silence, Eli spoke up. Her blond hair was cut to about shoulder length and her demeanor was very lady-like. She had a hint of lipstick and eyeliner. She was wearing a white shirt with a tucked-in plaid skirt.

"When was the last time she was seen?" She spoke with authority in her voice. It's only been 3 months or so since she started college.

"I saw her at school 3 days ago," Rin added.

"Yeah, same." Hayano and Maki agreed.

"How was she acting?" Honoka's younger sister, Yukiho asked.

"Well… She's been acting weird. Very standoff-ish. It was sometimes uncomfortable being with her." Kotori said in a quiet voice.

"Why didn't you mention this to me?" Kotori's mother interjected. Kotori replied, "I don't know. We were her friends so we didn't think we needed an adult's help…" Kotori's voice trailed off.

"Since when?" Maki's mother asked.

"Well, since we got back from summer." Hayano squeaked.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Nico interrogated.

"You all were in college. We didn't think…" Umi spoke up this time trying to defend themselves.

Nico leaned forward and said, "You didn't think what? That we didn't want to help?" Nico's mother had to hold her back because everyone could tell the air was getting thin.

"Let's calmly think about it. What was she acting like? What was the weirdest thing she would do and exactly when? Not just summer." Nozomi verbalized her voice for the first time in the night.

All of the current high school members including Honoka's little sister and Eli's little sister looked at each other for confirmation.

"After summer, she was doing really well in her schoolwork and president work. She showed up on time and actually did work." Umi told the listening crowd. For anyone that didn't know Honoka, they would be severely confused as to why that kind of behavior was concerning but to those who did, it was truly a weird act. Honoka was only really passionate about idol stuff.

Minutes rolled by and Kotori spoke once more, "No, she was acting even weirder after that meeting with the board member."

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Maki said while putting her right hand on her hip. She then resumed, "She was even more distant than before. Her eyes were always glossy like she was going to cry and break down at any moment. – I confronted her about it. The only thing she said to me was, I couldn't save her."

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. "Why didn't you do anything or say anything?" Yukiho asked.

Maki was still in the doorway so she moved closer and stopped right where her mother was, and remarked with a hint of annoyance, "Because I thought it was related to the anime and games she was playing. What did you do?" Maki's mother slapped her daughters' arm and bowed for her in apologies.

Yukiho started to move forward but her father cut her off. "It's not anyone's fault. I just want to gather information about my daughter's disappearance so if we could cut it out." His voice was booming.

"You mentioned a meeting… What meeting?" Honoka's mother voiced.

"She met with a board member a little more than two weeks ago. He wanted to figure out our worth as a school and if he should keep us open." Kotori's mother responded.

"She didn't mention anything of the sort about a meeting…" Honoka's mother said.

Umi stood up from the seated position she was in before. "Mrs. Kousaka, maybe this can solve one of our problems. Before, we mentioned that she was acting differently after the summer break. Do you know what happened during her summer?" Umi asked while pulling her index finger.

Honoka's mother looked at Yukiho and her husband in confusion. "Umi, what are you talking about? She said she was hanging out with you guys every time she went out." Honoka's mother's eyebrows were furrowed and filled with worry. "She would always say, I'm hanging out with Umi, Kotori, and my other members. We assumed that she was with one of you…"

All of the μ's members looked at each other and then back to the mother and Eli said, "No, Honoka has been denying us, for the most part, saying that she was busy with the business."

Honoka's mother let out a gasp. Yukiho then questioned, "What was the meeting about specifically?"

Principal Minami responded, "Honoka said it was confidential. She said she kept the place open but at a cost. She never told me the cost because she told me not to worry about it and that it was not dire." She then bowed her head past 90°. "I should have been more careful, I am sorry. I have failed as a director." Kotori placed her hand on her mother's back and bowed along with her.

"So, she was keeping secrets. We don't have any information about what had happened." Nozomi said out loud while thinking.

Hayano spoke quietly, "Maybe Kira Tsubasa would know anything?"

"I already confirmed that she doesn't know anything about the summer, though maybe she knows what happened after the meeting. I know that after the meeting, for two weeks Honoka was quiet, depressed, and incredibly spacy. I'll call Kira right now." Umi rushed out of the room to make the phone call. Principal Minami finally lifted her head and made such a disappointed look on her face.

While they waited, Nishikino household maids served snacks for the family members and friends. There were whispers here and there about Honoka but nothing they can conclude. About 30 minutes later the young A-Rise leader and her companions rang the doorbell.

"Pardon the intrusion," Tsubasa said as she walked into the enormous house that has white tiles. Tsubasa barely got through the doors when Umi came rushing in front of her.

"Kira, Honoka - she's gone," Umi told Tsubasa.

"UMI!" Her mother pulled her back and shushed her, "I know it hurts but you can't just tell people these things."

"What? She's g-gone?" Tsubasa breathed.

Honoka's mother moved closer to the A-Rise leader and gave the rundown.

"Do you know what happened?" She pleaded.

Tsubasa looked in stupefaction and huffed out, "No. She didn't say a thing. The last time we spoke was the day before the meeting. I asked about the summer break and what happened to her and all she said was, I have failed and I can't do it again. – Another time was through a text. She congratulated us on winning and told me that the next competition should have a more memorable prize. Tsubasa unconsciously started to tear up which she quickly wiped away, though it shocked Honoka's members and family. No one besides her members actually understood how much Tsubasa cared for Honoka and how much they kept each other company. They would hang outside of practice and eat lunch with each other on their days off.

Umi looked at the ground in shame that she caused that pain for Kira but it still didn't answer questions.

"Wait, the prize." Anju, the third member of the group broke the silence.

"What about the prize?" Erena the purple-haired A-Rise member asked.

"The prize was from Miyafumi Chizu. When I asked Honoka whether she liked her, she responded with such a cold answer as if she personally knew her. She said I don't like the fact she hides but then again, she denies those who try to save her." Anju finished and looked at the TV like she was trying to remember something.

"Ah!" Hayano shouted which startled everyone. "Miyafumi Chizu. There was an article about her in the news, that she had recently died. Her death was revealed 4 days ago. Apparently, she had been dead for a couple of weeks before they reported it nationally." Hayano reported that information like her life depended on it.

"Mom. During dinner, we were watching the news and they reported the death of Miyafumi, and Honoka was there. Her reaction was ice cold and she said something like – Oh what was it," Yukiho tried to think but nothing came up.

"Scum." Honoka's mother retorted. "How did she die?" She quickly questioned

Hayano was always caught up on idol news. She told Honoka's mother, "It was ruled as suicide."

"What does this have to do with her disappearance though…" Eli questioned.

"Also, what do the summer and meeting have to do with anything. Why was she keeping so many secrets?" Umi asked into thin air.