Tama was choosing some replacement screws in O-Edo Mart, when she noticed someone standing behind her. She must be taking too long! She turned around to apologize and make room when she noticed the person was one she knew. Or did she? It was clearly…

'Yamazaki-san?' she asked.

'Long time no see, Tama-san,' he said.

'Otose-san, isn't Tama acting weird lately?' Catherine asked.

'She's working as usual,' the old lady shrugged.

'Yes, but… It's been forty-five minutes she's been mopping that one floor board.'

'Maybe it's extra dirty.'

'And she sometimes pauses and stares at the sky.'

'There's so many Amanto ships, no wonder it annoys her.'

'Oh, she's finally moving to clean something else. No, Tama, don't mop this! True, it's garbage, but also a human, he'll eventually go away by himself- Owww!' Catherine yelled after Gintoki smacked her.

'What's going on in here?' he asked. 'Tama, are you okay?'

'I'm very sorry, Gintoki-sama. It must be a glitch. For some reason, I didn't record your presence.'

'Have you caught a cold again? You should go and have old man Gengai have a look at you.'

'I know that I am perfectly fine. It's my body, after all.'

'And it's my body! Ow, stop this! I'm not garbage, I'm telling you!'

'So you're telling me you've been this way since going shopping yesterday?' Gintoki asked. They were sitting outside Otose's snack house.

'Yes.'

'What happened then? It must have been the cause!'

'I- I would like to tell you, but some instinct tells me I should not, as it is something very embarrassing.'

'You have instincts?'

'It's more likely it's the knowledge I absorbed watching Korean dramas with Catherine.'

'Ah, so… Wait, dramas? Those romantic ones?'

'Yes.'

'Tama, is that possible? True, you're a special robot… Are you in heat?'

A minute later Gintoki was pressing ice onto his forehead.

'I am very sorry, Gintoki-sama, it must have been another glitch. I thought you were a giant cockroach.'

'Sure you did… Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got too used to talking about this concerning Sadaharu or Shinpachi and that word just came to me first.'

'Shinpachi-sama is a human.'

'Well, yes, but with teenage boys it's different… Never mind that. So… Should I say… Are you in love?'

'I don't know. I have never been in love before.'

'Ah, of course. So, describe to me what happened and I'll probably be able to tell what it is.'

'Alright I'll tell you. It all began when I met Yamazaki-san in a supermarket.'

'What? That plain guy whose only characteristics are anpan and badminton?'

'Lately, he's changed.'

'Oh, really? Did he acquire some new character trait? What is it this time? Did he become an otaku? No, that's taken, he'd overlap with Shinpachi too much. Did he become an overly serious character? That's already taken by Zura and Kyubei. We can't have three of those. He can't have two weird food habits, so I guess that's also out of the question. You see? Everything has already been done in this show. There's no way for him to become more interesting!'

'He's become a robot.'

'What?'

'Well, only partially. He's a cyborg.'

'This guy? How is that possible? So that's how it is, gorilla author? You forget about the ones who have bravely appeared in almost every chapter and give cool upgrades to some background character?!'

'Yamazaki-san was on the brink of death. His real body is now being repaired while his consciousness has been placed in a robotic body.'

'Ah, so it's only temporary. That's good,' Gintoki grinned.

'Yes- then… This feeling will probably go away,' Tama nodded.

'Yes, so just try not to pay attention to him. He's just a pitiful human that's been given a cool body for a while… Oi, Tama, are you listening? Hey, don't start cleaning again! AAAAAAHHHHHH!'

'So I think we should do something about Tama's infatuation with this guy,' Gintoki finished. His face was covered in band-aids. He was sitting in Otose's bar, giving her a report of what he'd learned earlier.

'But what?' she asked. 'We can't prevent them from meeting accidentally, and even if we did, she probably won't forget him so quickly.'

'There's one way to put this to a stop,' Gintoki announced.

'What is that?'

'Make them go on a date.'

'Hello, Yamazaki-san. Thank you for responding to my invitation.'

'Um, Tama-san, did I understand what Danna said correctly? Maybe there was a misunderstanding… But… He said…'

'Gintoki-sama was supposed to convey to you that I would like to go on a date with you. Did he not do so?'

'He did, he said exactly that! But… really?'

'Yes, I am sorry, but Gintoki-sama said it was going to end my being a threat to society. And I, for my part… Excuse me for my strange behavior, but I seem to enjoy your company very much. Sorry for making you accompany me for such a selfish reason.'

'Not at all, Tama-san! I… the truth is… I also-'

But Yamazaki didn't have a chance to finish the sentence, as at that moment he was elbowed in the side by a very strange creature dressed like a senior citizen. As he doubled over, gasping for breath, the creature spoke:

'Young man, could you help this old lady cross the street, aru?'

'What? Why did you just elbow me?' he managed to say.

'Eavesdrop? I wasn't eavesdropping, aru.'

'And now your hearing's gotten worse! Fine, I'll help you cross the street.'

'Great. Carry me.'

'What?'

'My legs aren't so good aru. Carry me to the other side.'

'Fine, just make it quick,' Yamazaki looked at Tama apologetically. She nodded and smiled. At that moment, the senior-citizen-like being jumped onto Yamazaki with a force that would have knocked any human down. But Yamazaki was not a mere human at that moment. He caught the 'old lady' and calmly carried her to the other side of the street where he set her down, then came back to Tama.

'Shall we go?' he asked. Tama nodded.

They were already walking for some time. Yamazaki cursed the interrupting old lady in his head. It had been the ideal opportunity to tell Tama about his feelings and now… He didn't even know what to talk about. And he was sure extended periods of silence weren't good on a date. At that moment, however, another interruption happened.

Something that looked like a walking pile of scrap metal approached them. When it came closer, Yamazaki noticed it had braids made from God-knows-what and a face drawn with lipstick and other make-up accessories on a metal jar that was probably supposed to be its head.

'Ah, Sagaru-kun,' the being said.

'Excuse me, who are you?'

'You don't recognize your ex-girlfriend?'

'My ex-what?'

'Ah, I can see you've found a new victim already! Play with her circuits a couple of times and then forget about her existence!'

'Eh? What does 'playing with her circuits' even mean?! And I've never had a girlfriend- I mean, I've never had a girlfriend that is made from some metal scraps that keep falling off like this!'

'Ah, so you no longer like me because I'm not so pretty as I used to be? You're the same as every man. Honestly, I wonder how you managed to get a date as such a plain character! You should know your place! Don't go putting other people in despair getting girls just because you've had a cool upgrade!'

At that point, Tama turned on her scanner.

'Shinpachi-sama?' she asked the metal entity.

'Ah… yes.'

'It seems the Yorozuya didn't like the idea of our date, after all,' Yamazaki concluded, as they kept walking after leaving Shinpachi behind.

'Even though Gintoki-sama arranged this date for us?'

'I think… maybe it was to show you how bad of a boyfriend candidate I am… To make you disillusioned, you know.'

'But resorting to lying like that…'

'I think they're doing it because they care about you. They don't want you to end up with a nobody like me… Besides, I'm going to go back to my original body after some time. Then you probably won't like me anymore, anyway. Maybe it's just a waste of time…'

'It's not true, Yamazaki-san.'

'Why?'

'I just have this feeling. It is just like in dramas. A girl who usually looks ugly suddenly becomes beautiful and all the boys fall in love with her, but in the end only one of them turns out to really love her.'

'It's so in dramas?'

'Maybe it was Disney Channel after all.'

'But wait, am I that ugly girl?!'

'What I wanted to say, Yamazaki-san, is… Maybe I just started noticing you because of you becoming a robot, but who knows, this feeling might continue even after that.'

'I would like it to be true… But well, even if it's not going to happen, let's enjoy our date now that we finally have a chance. I hope that Danna and the others won't show up again after being exposed.'

'I hope so, too. Where shall we go?'

'How about an amusement park?'

Yamazaki and Tama had a great time riding all the attractions. In the end, they decided to go and ride the Teacups. Their robotic strength combined, they managed to acquire a record-breaking angular velocity. However, this turned out to be not the greatest idea. At one point, the centrifugal force sent Tama's head flying… It landed on top of a nearby roller-coaster amidst other visitors' shrieks.

'Everything is okay, please don't panic, everyone,' Tama shouted from the above. Yamazaki felt a bit creeped out by seeing most of her body sitting before him and the head up high.

'I'll go and get your head, Tama-san,' he proposed.

'No, you mustn't! It's very dangerous!' she shouted back.

But he was already standing up. Seeing this, Gintoki, Kagura and Shinpachi, who had been hiding nearby, sprang out.

'Hey, Jimi, it's too dangerous!' Gintoki yelled to him.

'Yamazaki-san, don't do that!' Shinpachi joined him.

'Don't do that, aru,' Kagura followed.

'We didn't want you to keep meeting Tama, so we put you through some ordeals and were planning to do it some more, but we've been watching you and you've proved a worthy man! So you don't need to prove anything more!'

'I appreciate it, Danna. But there is something I need to prove to myself. I need to be worthy of Tama-san and what kind of man can't risk anything for the woman he-' he suddenly stopped and turned red.

'I'm going up,' he declared. Everybody was watching him while holding their breath. He aptly climbed onto the top of the construction and reached for Tama's head.

"Aaah, we're too close, it's too close and now I'm supposed to grab her?!" he panicked.

'I'll hold onto you with my hair,' Tama said. Please, extend your hand.'

He did so. After a second, when Tama's head was neatly tied to his forearm, she spoke.

'Yamazaki-san.'

'Yes?'

'We're falling.'

Yamazaki had extended the hand with which he'd been holding the construction before.

"〇 of ×, △ Hospital.

Dear Tama-san,

I hope you are well. I am doing well, too, although I had to go back to my original body which isn't fully healed yet and can't therefore move too much. I wonder what is going to happen first: will this body of mine get well or will Gengai-san finish repairing my robotic replacement before that? Time will tell. I do hope to meet you soon, even if it's in a form that will no longer appeal to you. I really had a good time on our date. Even if we can't go on another one, I would like to express my thanks to you and maybe have a friendly talk from time to time. We can surely be good friends. That's what I think.

Yamazaki Sagaru"

A week later

Yamazaki was looking for something in his bedside table drawer, when he came across a piece of paper.

"What is it?" he thought, unfolding it. He realized it was his letter. But then…

'Dammit, I sent the wrong thing!'

Tama opened the envelope and took out the piece of paper. It read:

"Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san Tama-san"

She smiled.

THE END