Previously:
Kate was lying unconscious on her back, her hand resting almost lifelessly over her stab wound. The puddle of blood that had settled beneath her had drenched her clothes. One side of her face was badly bruised as a result of Simmons slamming her into the door, and her chest was barely rising.

Castle rushed to her side and knelt beside her. "Kate, can you hear me?" he pleaded taking her bloody hand into his. He felt for a pulse to find it was unnaturally weak. "Stay with me, okay?"

Ryan was on the phone with emergency services who were sending out two ambulances. Esposito was putting pressure on the stab wound while Castle tried to wake her up.

"Kate," he whispered in between sobs. "I love you, Kate. Please don't leave me."

She could hear him. She could feel him. She wanted to respond, to tell him that she was there, but her body wasn't letting that happen. The blood loss had been too significant that her muscles and heart were starting to give up. And so was she.

Chapter 1

April 23rd, 2005
The hours that had passed had seemed like days. The paramedics had loaded her into the back of an ambulance and rushed her to the hospital, where she was immediately hurried into surgery. He had been by her side right up until the point where she was brought into the operating room.

Esposito had stayed with forensics at the body shop where they had found her. He was hoping to find something that could help them locate the man who they suspected had stabbed his fellow detective. But so far, things weren't looking too good.

Castle sat in the waiting room picking at the dried blood that had settled behind his fingernails. He hadn't had the chance to wash them, afraid he would miss an update about Kate. Ryan came back from the cafeteria with two cups of coffee.

"Thought you could use this," he said handing one of the cardboard cups to Castle, who thanked him with a slight nod of his head. He lowered himself into the chair beside him. "She's going to be okay. Beckett's strong."

"I should have known this would happen," Castle mumbled. "I should have kept her safe."

"It's not your fault, you know?"

"I'm the one who kept her updated about the case." He shook his head and took a mouthful of his coffee.

A nurse came through the set of double doors Kate had been rushed through only hours before. Castle instantly raised himself from his seat and made his way over to her.

"How is she?"

"She's stable," the nurse informed him. "She's asleep but you're more than welcome to sit with her if you wish."

Ryan said he would go back to the precinct and help everyone track down Simmons. Castle thanked him and made his way down the long bright corridor to Kate's room. She looked peaceful in the bed, aside from the numerous drips in her arms. The quiet beepof the monitor every two seconds irritated him for the first few minutes, but he soon became immune to its annoyance.

Visiting hours were long over, but Castle had requested he stay the night by her side. With no intention of sleeping he stroked her hand while watching her chest slowly rise and fall. The guilt of feeling responsible for this was eating him alive. He knew he had no control over her actions but the one thing he promised her dad was that he'd look out for her.

His pity party was cut short when Kate began to groan in the bed next to him. He tightened his grip on her hand watching as she slowly manoeuvred herself into a more comfortable position.

"Kate?" he said. She opened her eyes momentarily, squinting as they tried to adjust, then closed them again. "Open your eyes, Kate."

She turned her head and squinted at him. "Where's Simmons?" she asked in her sleepy voice.

"He got away."

Deflated, Kate closed her eyes again and melted into her pillow. She twisted to the left a little, causing her fresh stitches to pull.

"Careful," Castle warned. "You were stabbed and beaten up pretty badly."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "I'm aware, thank you." He didn't take her snarky remark personally. She was tired and hurt, both physically and mentally. "I wasn't careful enough and he got the jump on me."

"You shouldn't have gone there alone in the first place," he said with caution.

"He was getting away, Castle. I wasn't going to let him disappear."

"You should have brought back up."

"And risk getting the boys into trouble, or you hurt? You would've been killed."

"This almost got you killed!"

Kate stopped defending herself and instead lay in silence. It had been a close call. She would've died in that place had Esposito not called Castle when he did. As much as she liked to believe luck would forever be on her side, she knew just how untrue that was.

A few days later Kate was released from the hospital. Her body was healing quicker than expected allowing her earlier dismissal. That being said Castle was eager to fuss over her until she was suited to fend for herself again.

"Lay down," he directed when she got inside her apartment. "I'll make you some soup."

"It's okay, I'm not hungry." Kate shuffled her feet across the wooden floors to the couch that was practically calling out to her. Rick followed closely behind her.

"The doctor said need to take it easy for the next couple of days."

"I'll be fine," she said lowering herself cautiously onto the couch. "I appreciate the gesture, Rick, but I'm fine on my own."

"I'd feel better if you let me stay and keep an eye on you."

"Right, that's why," she mumbled under her breath. "Look, I know I shouldn't have gone after Simmons alone, but you don't have to keep tabs on me at all times."

"Dammit, Kate!" he snapped. "Just let me help for once!"

The raising of his voice caught her off guard. She could see he was only trying to help but her pride and independence was getting in the way of that.

"Sorry," she said at a much lower volume. Then she decided to share something she had been contemplating in her hospital bed over the past few days. "Simmons let me live. He knew that wound wouldn't kill me fast." She sighed and gently touched her side. "He wants me to live knowing that I was so close to having him. I should've been more careful, maybe then we'd have him in custody."

"You shouldn't have gone there in the first place," he said repeating what he had told her when she first woke up.

The look on her face said it all. Unimpressed. "I'm not getting into this again." He watched her limp into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. He weakly called out after her, but she chose to ignore it. Before he could chase after her there was a knock at the door.

Jim Beckett stood on the other side of the door. When he asked Castle what he was doing here, Rick replied, "Just taking care of Kate. Come in!"

"Since when does Katie need taking care of?" he chuckled unknowingly.

Rick watched the smiling man enter the apartment. "She didn't tell you?"

Kate heard two people talking and came back into the open plan living room. "Dad?"

It didn't take Jim long to notice something was wrong with her. She was holding one hand over her abdomen and the bruises on her face were a dead giveaway. "Katie! What the hell happened?"

"You didn't tell him?" Castle said in disbelief.

"I fell," she lied.

"She was stabbed," Castle said overruling her false statement.

"Castle!" He could feel her glaring at him but kept his eyes on Jim.

"Stabbed?" Jim exclaimed. "How the hell did that happen?"

"Well, seeing as the cat is out of the bag," she remarked directing it at Castle. "I was following a lead on a case and someone got the jump on me."

"You let her go alone?" Jim said turning to the writer.

"It wasn't Rick's fault," she defended. "I went alone without telling anyone, that's on me. But I couldn't let another person linked to mom's murder slip through the cracks."

"You're investigating your mom's murder?!" For the second time since arriving Jim was shocked. "Katie, do you know how dangerous these people are?"

She lifted her shirt exposing the bandages covering the stab wound, then said, "Thanks for the update!"

Castle could see Kate was becoming stressed which was not good while she was recovering. "Kate, you need to calm down. You just got released."

"I can't deal with all this right now."

For the second time Kate closed herself in her bedroom, this time locking the door behind her. Her hands were shaking as a result of the anger she felt, not only at the men in her apartment but mostly at herself.

"She's going to get herself killed," Jim sighed.

"I won't let that happen," Castle promised.

"I don't think that's something you can control. She's headstrong. She's just going to keep running into the crossfire. Why can't she just let this go?" They stood in silence for a moment both considering ways to keep her safe. "I'll leave you two alone and drop by another day."

As the grey-haired man walked away Castle called out, "Oh, and Jim? Congratulations on getting through rehab."

When he knocked on the bedroom door and called out to her, she didn't respond. "He's gone," Rick said.

"I didn't want him knowing," Kate's muffled voice spoke from behind the door.

"He would've found out sooner or later."

The bolt in the door unlocked. He gave her a minute to hobble back to the bed before slowly opening it. He instantly noted her face was hot red from crying. Joining her on the bed and pulling her into his embrace was enough to start the tears again.

"I'm so sorry," she cried into his chest. He stroked circles on her back as she let it all out. "I'm trying to pretend this isn't a big deal, but it is. I almost died." She sniffled. "I never thought I'd see you again."

Seeing her like this almost caused him to become an emotional wreck, but he contained himself for her. "You're safe," he said before placing a kiss on top of her head. "We're safe."

She wiped the wetness from her cheeks and looked up at him. "And I promise I won't do anything reckless like that again."

"I sure hope not. I can't lose you again, six years without you were enough."

Without a filter or any thought Kate blurted, "Then let's get married."

He looked at her staggered. He knew she wasn't seriously proposing but then again she had just suggested they tie the knot. Tongue-tied he simply stared at her. She looked just as shocked as him.

"I'm sorry," she instantly apologised. She was embarrassed to say at the least. "I don't know where that came from."

Rick took her hands in his and rested them on his lap. "I'm in this for the long run, Kate, and I would love to marry you one day, but just not right now. Neither of us are ready for this yet."

"Oh, thank god," she exhaled in relief. "Good, because I don't know why I said that."

They shared a nervous laughter which soon became a comfortable laughter. She placed her head on his shoulder and watched as his thumb caressed her hand which was intertwined in his. They turned their faces to one another simultaneously and melted into a delicate kiss.

"You've had an exhausting few days," he said. "You should get into bed. I'll grab yours meds."

She smiled at him as he made his way across her room. After unbuttoning the loose-fitted sleepshirt Castle had brought to her in the hospital, she looked down at the bloodied bandage. She had tried not to bring her attention to it since it happened but this time she couldn't help herself.

"We'll get him," Castle said from the doorway. He put her meds on the bedside cabinet and smiled.

"Yeah," she sighed with not an ounce of hope in her tone. She tried to pull her pyjama top over her head but underestimated the sensitivity of her wound. The stitches pulled, pain shooting through her abdomen causing her vision to momentarily blur. "Shit!"

"Are you okay?" Castle panicked.

Her bottom lip drew blood due to the pressure she was biting down on it to mask the pain. She took deep breaths exhaling after three seconds.

"Let me see."

She nodded signalling him to check it out. When his hand gently touched the bare skin of her stomach, her abdominal muscles tensed. She apologised and insisted he continue. He carefully removed the bandage to see there was no new damage.

"It looks okay," he said. "But let me get some antiseptic and a fresh bandage." He ran to the bathroom and came back seconds later with his supplies. She watched him lovingly as he dressed the wound. His touch was gentle, and his hands were a lot less cold than the nurses'.

"Thank you," she said as he assisted her with her pyjama top.

"Always."