The first rule of the Firsts Club: No one tells All for One about the First Club.
The second rule of the Firsts Club: All for One will be referred to as either All for One or big brother in order to keep him from being confused with First!Hisashi.
The third rule of the Firsts Club: All for One sucks and should be thwarted in all things.
The fourth rule of the Firsts Club: First!Hisashi does not need to know the third rule but his Inko can know and act in his place in thwarting All for One.
The fifth rule of the Firsts Club: Inko is a goddess who can do no wrong.
The sixth rule of the Firsts Club: Izuku is a precious green bean who needs to be protected and taught to thwart All for One.
These six rules hang on a wooden plank over the treehouse entrance. A giant oak tree trunk grows up through the middle of a house made of cherry wood. A porch with two deck chairs sprawls over the branches. Strings of lights hang over the green tiled roof. A bright blue slide connects the top floor to the deck. The weather is sunny and warm. The sun always shines, here.
The house has three stories. The bottom floor has a kitchen always magically stocked with popsicles, cookies, and miscellaneous snacks. A round walnut table can fit all the Firsts, complete with a bird perch for Shuu. Floor-to-wall windows let in light. The upper floor has a gaming and entertainment room with a wide-screen TV. Finally, a small attic loft holds several futons. Houseplants overflow from the shelves on the walls, in-between hero figurines. An All Might poster beams from the pointy ceiling.
The treehouse is surrounded by a dense, coniferous forest. No one can enter the forest—it seems more like a pretty picture painted around this small haven. All the Firsts tried to explore after coming here, but they found they couldn't set foot outside the treehouse. Each one arrived through a glowing door appearing in the air. None of them know where this place came from, and at least one is still suspicious this might be a trap, but they're all having too much fun not to take advantage of this perfect replica of their childhood dream clubhouse.
On the second floor, Hisashi plays a video game. Sounds of battle drift down the stairs. Sitting at the dining room table, Yuuto and Kazuki are engaged in a very serious argument.
"My Izuku is clearly the cutest." Kazuki holds up a picture of Inko cradling a green-haired infant in her arms.
"I haven't heard such a lie since the last time big brother opened his mouth." Yuuto sniffs. "My Izuku is the cutest." His phone shows twelve-year-old Izuku in a rabbit hero costume.
"But…baby!"
"But…vigilante!"
The two Firsts stare at each other with identical green eyes. After a moment, Kazuki admits, "They're both extremely adorable."
"All Izukus win the cuteness contest." Yuuto smiles at the baby picture.
"His vigilante costume looks amazing."
"Thank you! I helped him design it. It has an All Might version, would you like to see?"
"Would I ever!" Kazuki says eagerly.
"I'd like to see, too." Hisashi walks down the stairs holding a bowl of popcorn.
Before Yuuto has time to scroll through his photo album, a glowing portal appears in the air.
Yoichi opens the door of light and steps through. "You wouldn't believe what a day I've had, running away from big brother." He wipes sweat off his forehead. "I could use a break. What flavor of popsicles do we have today?"
Hisashi throws popcorn at Yoichi. "Boo! Hiss! We saw what you did! You flirted with your own brother."
Yoichi dodges. "Only as a trick! I was trying to keep him from recognizing me. Whatever works, am I right?"
"You're wrong! My eyes still burn remembering that awful sight." Kazuki places a hand to his forehead as if he might faint. "Have you no dignity?"
Yuuto cries, "You're a disgrace to Firsts everywhere! We revoke your name despite it being the canon one."
Yoichi sneers. "Someone who got willingly vaulted (cough Deathbed Wish cough) doesn't have the standing to throw me out of anything."
All the Firsts turn to stare at Yuuto. He squirms.
Yoichi puts his hands on his hips. "Who needs dignity if you're avoiding being vaulted?"
"He makes a good point," Hisashi says, munching on popcorn.
"Agreed," Kazuki says. "You're back in the club."
"He's right. I'm the only disgrace here." Yuuto covers his face with shame.
"There, there. It's not as if you weren't punished enough for your mistake." Kazuki takes both Yoichi and Yuuto's hands and pushes them together. "One of you made a valiant effort to avoid the bank vault and one of you was just trying to redeem your brother. We've all been in both of those situations. We understand. Fictional medals all around."
Yuuto and Yoichi shake hands. Yuuto says, "It was a clever trick. I wouldn't have had the acting ability or the stomach to pull it off. You almost got away clean, and I admire you for it."
"Why, thank you." Yoichi smiles. "I've always admired your hair. You've got the best locks out of all of us, never a single bad hair day. What do you do to keep it so soft and fluffy?"
"Do?" Yuuto blinks.
"No need to be so modest. Do you use an elasticizer or a lift spray? I'd love to get the brand of your shampoo."
"Uh, I don't know what any of those products are. I just use whatever shampoo is cheapest at the grocery store."
Yoichi's smile freezes on his face. His grip tightens as if he's trying to break Yuuto's hand. He hisses, "It appears we're destined to be mortal enemies."
"Sorry? What did I do?" Yuuto looks around, but no one else heard what Yoichi whispered.
Hisashi says, "Please, teach us your haircare secrets, Yoichi."
The other Firsts all cluster around as Yoichi expounds on his strategy, waving his hands and flipping back his hair.
Afterward, Hisashi says, "I still want to see Izuku's All Might costume. I brought a photo album of baby pictures to share, too."
Yuuto and Kazuki exchange glances. Both of them are a little jealous of Hisashi for getting to be Izuku's father, but their covetousness wins out and they all head upstairs.
"He's so precious," Kazuki coos over a picture of baby Izuku in his crib.
"Aw, just look at this one." Yuuto holds up a picture of Inko holding up a two-year-old Izuku and kissing his nose. "I'm so glad to see her alive and happy." He and Kazuki exchange sad glances.
Hisashi flips through the pictures on Yuuto's phone. "Izuku makes such an adorable rabbit. Oh, but the All Might costume is my favorite! Can I send myself all of these?"
"Of course." Yuuto grins. "What else is the club for?"
Kazuki raises an eyebrow. "Thwarting All for One?"
Yoichi says, "A secondary priority compared to obtaining pictures of my nephew's cuteness. I didn't have time to take single photo before running away." He makes this sound like a national tragedy. "Hisashi, send all of those to me, too."
Afterward, the Firsts Club members turn to their usual favorite topic: bitching about All for One.
All four of them lie sprawled on the plush carpet. Their bodies form a star shape with their heads together, looking up at the tree branches sprawled across the ceiling. Yoichi's drawings cover the walls, depicting heroes both professional and fictional. At one point, Yuuto added a few of his drawings too, but they made Hisashi cry so he took them down. There's a poster with All for One's face covered in darts. Next to it, the picture of the Author has even more dart holes.
Yuuto says, "Big brother keeps trying to pull shady business deals behind my back, then getting huffy when I catch him. Telling me that he's 'just running a sting to draw out corrupt businessmen' and I 'interfered with his plan to clean up Japan.' Does he seriously expect me to believe that? Does he think I'm stupid? He does, doesn't he?"
"Ugh, I hate it when he gets patronizing," Yoichi says. "He's currently chasing me across Japan. Yesterday he laid this extremely obvious trap with a sketchy fellow named Giran selling fake passports. I had the exact same reaction—does he think I'm stupid?"
Kazuki rolls his eyes. "More like he thinks he's smarter than everyone."
Yuuto says, "My brother showed up at U.A. as a teacher for Izuku's class."
"Our poor nephew." Kazuki clucks his tongue.
"I'm annoyed at him for intruding on Izuku's school life, but it's also hilarious to watch Nezu manipulating him into helping heroes." Yuuto grins. "He finally met someone as smart as him, and he doesn't like it."
Yoichi sighs. "I'm still sad that I had to flee my nice apartment right after I finished decorating it to my taste. If I'd known, I wouldn't have spent hours hand-painting my bookshelves with comic book characters."
Kazuki says, "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure all your belongings are being carefully preserved inside a bank vault somewhere."
"Ha. Ha." Yoichi covers his eyes with his hand. "I'm laughing because it's so miserably true."
Kazuki's tone turns somber. "My big brother used Dark Side of the Force brainwashing on me."
All four shudder. Yoichi says, "I'd rather die than be brainwashed. That's truly the worst possible fate."
Yuuto raises his hand. "I got de-aged into a baby once."
Groans come from around the room. Yoichi says, "You win."
Hisashi wrinkles his forehead with effort. "Big brother keeps buying me expensive presents no matter how many times I tell him that I don't need them. There are so many, I don't have room for them at my house." He speaks in the tone of someone who desperately wants to contribute but can't come up with anything better.
Yoichi snorts. "From anyone else, I'd think you were making fun of us." He rubs Hisashi's hair. "You're lucky you're cute. Otherwise I might punch out that bright smile of yours and feed you your teeth." This is a joke. Probably.
Kazuki sits up. "Time for the group therapy hug. After my last universe, I need one."
"Ooo, I give great hugs." Hisashi sounds delighted to finally be useful.
All four of them hug each other, holding tightly enough to feel their heartbeats and smell Yoichi's strawberry shampoo. Eventually, Kazuki says, "I feel ready to face the world again. Thanks."
They let go. The hug this time was mainly for Kazuki's sake.
Kazuki pushes back his hair. "I feel a sudden enthusiasm for the other purpose of our club: polishing our escaping skills."
Yuuto is already heading for the closet containing their equipment.
The four Firsts discuss escape artist tactics while practicing on several locks. Eventually, Kazuki gets fed-up fumbling with lockpicks. His form warps into a Jedi wearing a brown robe. He pulls out his lightsaber and chops the padlock in two. "This can cut through anything in the galaxy," he says, grinning.
"You're so lucky you got a Star Wars AU," Yuuto sighs. "I'd love to be a Jedi." During his childhood, he watched the original trilogy a thousand times while stuck sick in bed.
"Would you like to take a few practice swings?" Kazuki holds out the switched-off lightsaber.
"Can I?" Yuuto's eyes gleam.
"Sure, just be careful." Kazuki shows him the on switch.
As the purple blade snaps to life, Yuuto drops to a crouch. "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you, Princess Leia."
Hisashi swallows a mouthful of popcorn. "I don't think Luke had his lightsaber at that point in the movie."
"Details." Yuuto shrugs.
"Can I play with the lightsaber next?" Hisashi asks.
"Of course." Yuuto switches it off.
Before he has time to hand over the lightsaber, another glowing door appears in the air. Hisashi says, "That's for me. I have to get home in time for dinner. We can play Jedi next time. See you all later."
"See you later." Kazuki takes his lightsaber back.
As Hisashi steps through his door, the others hear him say, "Big brother, you came over for dinner? It's so great to see you! Oh, this is the Firsts Club." Hisashi waves at the partly-open door. "We have the most awesome treehouse. Would you like to take a quick look?"
"No!" All the Firsts scream, but it's too late.
A teenage All for One steps through the door. He has curly white hair, freckles, and a self-satisfied smile. "What a lovely place. It looks just like the imaginary clubhouse we designed as children."
"I remember when my brother was that age," Yuuto whispers, staring at the young All for One. "We used to get along so well back then…"
Kazuki grabs his shoulder. "Don't be fooled! He was de-aged! That's still a centuries-old supervillain in there."
"Ahhh! Right!" Yuuto leaps backward.
Yoichi seizes the hairdryer he used during his demo and points it like a weapon. "No All for One is welcome here."
"Leave this sacred place at once, you evil monster!" Kazuki ignites his lightsaber.
Hisashi looks between them with a bemused expression. "Am I the only one here who has a good relationship with my older brother?"
"There's no need to be alarmed." All for One raises his hands. "I've left the villainy business in order to focus on my family. In fact, I'm a part-time vigilante."
"Really? So there's at least one universe where you became a hero." Yuuto looks wistful.
All for One plants himself in an armchair as if he owns the place. "Would you like to hear about my adventures? I'll tell you all about the time I defeated Overhaul and saved Izuku."
"Okay, you have my curiosity," Yoichi admits. He lowers the hair dryer. Both Yoichi and Yuuto drift closer.
"Have you forgotten the rules?" Kazuki points. "He must leave at once!"
All for One plays his most lethal weapon. "In my universe, Tomura and Izuku are like brothers. Would you like to see some pictures of them being cute together?"
"Yes, please!" Yoichi claps his hands. All for One gets out his phone.
"Hmmm." Kazuki makes a rumbling noise in the back of his throat. He turns off his lightsaber and sneaks closer.
All for One stays very still, like a wildlife photographer luring a rare jungle cat out of hiding. He angles his phone so Kazuki can see the pictures. As the other Firsts laugh and admire, soon Kazuki has joined the crowd surrounding All for One's armchair.
"Will you show us your vigilante costume next?" Yuuto asks.
All for One winces. "It's, uh, a little strange. But my fans have come to expect a lamp shade from me…"
"Big brother looks the coolest," Hisashi says loyally.
Yoichi says, "I bet I could help you design a cooler one. My brother had a Darth Vader lampshade once."
As All for One regales the Firsts with tales of his vigilante adventures, a stirring comes from the attic. A sleepy voice calls, "Who's that? It sounds suspiciously like my big brother."
A phoenix with feathers made of green fire swoops down from his bird perch. Being dead in his story, Shuu has nowhere else to go, so he's a fixture in this place.
"How beautiful," All for One whispers, unable to take his gaze off the long flaming tail and the glowing green eyes.
Shuu recoils. "Ahhhhhhh! It is him!"
"Calm down. My brother is nice," Hisashi says. He whispers to All for One, "Shuu's older brother killed him, so he's easily spooked."
"Terrible! Clearly that All for One doesn't deserve you," All for One says, avarice leaking into his tone.
Without taking his eyes off the intruder, Shuu flutters toward the window.
All for One remembers to paste his smile back on. "You have nothing to fear from me. Would you like to hear about my heroic exploits?"
"You're a hero? You help people?" Shuu peeks out from behind Yoichi's fluffy hair.
"That's right. Would you like to swap Izuku pictures? I would love to see what he looks like as a phoenix." Despite All for One's best efforts, his greed slips back into his voice.
"I don't have any pictures." The phoenix sags. "I died before he was born."
"How unfortunate. I wonder if anyone knows how to find your dimension—"
All for One's words are cut off as another glowing door forms.
A new First with wild eyes staggers through, holding a box of matches. He whispers, "This time, I'll burn this place to the ground."
"Not him again!" Yoichi screams. "We'd finally scrubbed away all the ashes."
"Give me those matches." Yuuto tackles the new First. They roll across the floor, both trying to bite each other.
"That's—?" All for One points.
"Evil First," Hisashi says glumly. "We can't figure out how to get rid of him."
All for One raises his voice. "Little brother, stop this behavior at once."
The new First freezes. He drops the matches. Then he sits up and says, "Sorry, big brother."
Yuuto gasps. "He listens to his older brother? What a freak of nature." He backs away as if he fears it might be contagious.
"Good." All for One pats the new First's hair. "It's okay. Calm down. Breathe deeply."
Kazuki laughs. "Okay, now you've won me over. If you can keep that one under control, then you can have a standing invitation to visit whenever you'd like."
The others chime in with their agreement.
In another distant place, a group of All for Ones gather at a round metal table. The dark room has reddish artificial torches hanging from the walls at just the right places to cast each of their faces into ominous shadows. The minifridge in the back has been decorated to look like a bank vault. A giant TV fills one wall. The other walls are covered with posters and figurines from century-old fictional supervillains. A life-size replica of the Demon King sits in the corner. Despite the attempt to create a frightening atmosphere, this still looks like a villain nerd's clubhouse.
A teenage newcomer pushes the door open. "Sorry I'm late! You'll never guess what I found out. Our little brothers have their own club, just like ours. I have proof." He holds up his phone to show a picture of himself surrounded by happy Firsts.
The other All for Ones lean over the table to stare. The one dressed like a Sith Lord exclaims, "Hey, that's my brother! He never smiles at me like that…"
An All for One wearing a suit sneers. "They only like him because he's a sell-out. Turned into a hero."
The teenage All for One merely laughs. "I'm no hero—people just started calling me one after I saved my adorable family members a few times. Unlike the rest of you fools, I realized the benefits to whitewashing my reputation and rolled with it. You're just jealous of my happy family life."
"A phoenix!" another All for One gasps, pointing.
"Yeah, isn't he amazing? Shuu told me that all the dead versions of himself end up at the club." The teenage All for One doesn't fail to notice the wistful looks from some of his counterparts. "That's not all. Get this: there's an evil version of our dear little brother. He adores us and he wants to help us conquer the world!"
The same greedy look fills each All for One's face. Their eyes follow that picture like a predator.
"Oops, I guess I should have said he adores me. Because I'm the only one who can find him." The teenage-appearing All for One pockets his phone. "They loved me and practically demanded I come back frequently."
One villain hisses, "I'm going to find that place and vault all of them. Especially your little brother."
The teenage All for One smirks. "Sure, give it your best shot. But you need an invitation in order to enter the clubhouse. What a pity I'm the only one with a good enough relationship with my little brother to be invited."
The room fills with the sound of all the other All for Ones gnashing their teeth.
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: Revenge on Your Other Selves is the Best Revenge
Other All for Ones: Let's swap baby pictures of Izuku. Oh, wait, you don't have any, do you, Tsukasa? Because you're his uncle, not his father. What a shame.
Clone Blues All for One: Grrrr.
After discovering the Firsts Club:
Clone Blues All for One: It's time for some evil gloating!
#
Omake: The Club Founder
Eldritch Abomination First: (Appears in a flash of light) Who missed me? I brought some rare snacks from other galaxies.
Kazuki: Hey, stop shedding metal feathers all over the floor. I stepped on one of those yesterday.
Eldritch Abomination First: Sorry about that, I'm just so excited. I'll be making some adjustments to our treehouse. We need a pool large enough to fit a sea dragon.
Yoichi: Why are you looking at me as you say that?
#
Omake: Haircare Tips are Almost as Important as Lockpicking Tips
Yoichi: Hisashi, who butchered your hair like that?
Hisashi: Hmm? Oh, I'm a businessman, so I had to cut it short for my job. Long hair isn't considered professional in Japan.
Yoichi: I'm so sorry. No wonder you decided to reconcile with your older brother. If someone hacked off my hair, I'd probably make poor life choices, too. That or go on a murderous rampage across Japan.
Hisashi: So I'm the only normal one here?
Kazuki: Excuse me!
Hisashi: Sorry, Kazuki, but you're dressed like a Jedi. My point still stands.
#
Omake: Bad Influence
Hisashi: I love your vigilante costume, Yuuto.
Yuuto: Thank you! I designed it myself. Izuku helped create the fox mask.
Hisashi: I used to want to be a hero when I was young, but then I turned out quirkless. Not a single hero school would take me.
Yuuto: Why let that stop you? It's never too late to learn martial arts and purchase a flamethrower.
Hisashi: Do you think I could become a vigilante alongside my big brother?
Clone Blues All for One: STOP RIGHT THERE, MY BABY BROTHER HAS A NICE, SAFE OFFICE JOB AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY.
#
Omake: Swan for One
All for One: Who let this animal in here?
Swan for One: (Hisses.)
All for One: A red-eyed bird. Is that supposed to be another version of me? I'm deeply offended. If I were to become an animal, I'm sure it would be a tiger or a wolf or some other majestic predator. This feathery embarrassment is completely unacceptable and I'm going to remove him from the club.
Swan for One: (Attacks.)
All for One: AHHHHHHHHHHH! My face!
Meanwhile, at the Firsts Club:
Yoichi: What do you mean there's a parallel universe where my pet swan is a supervillain?
#There's a magic-enforced rule preventing any All for One from harming another #Otherwise their club would have ended in a bloodbath a long time ago #But the club's eldritch founder accidentally left in a loophole for animal attacks #I sure hope that All for One wasn't starring in any of my incomplete stories
Author's Note:
Feel free to suggest more ideas for First club activities. I might continue this if I get the inspiration. Or maybe an Izukus club next? That would also be great fun!
List of Firsts contained here within:
Yuuto "Dumbass Pyromaniac" First from Custody Battle, A Life Not Lived, and Save Your Dysfunctional Family, Save the World
Kazuki "Team Mom" First from One Hundred Year Valentine and 5 Times Darth Omnus Found His Son & 1 Time He Turned Izuku to Darkness
Yoichi "Hates Everyone But Especially His Brother" First from Back to the Something
Hisashi "Sassy Lost Child" First from Clone Blues
Shuu "Dead and Pissed About It" Phoenix First from Anything You Lose Comes Around in Another Form
"Evil Pyromaniac" First from Genetics
"Sir Not Appearing in This Story" Eldritch Abomination First from Izuku Midoriya is Human
Sea Dragon First forthcoming…
Bonus: Swan All for One from Swan for One