(A/N: Some of these long drabbles I wanted to turn into full one-shots- but thought they'd best fit the drabble setting. And although it's a pet peeve of mine, I decided to leave Mr. Merrick's first name as John (as it was in the movie) than to change it to Joseph. I felt it fit the setting(s)/context better since these drabbles surround The Elephant Man movie itself.

I'll briefly explain the context/scene for each drabble as they come. I kept them in order of how they'd appear in the movie.

Hope any who read enjoy these long "drabbles" on my main muse! :))

Page 1: John Merrick POV

1.) Harnessed by Fear

(Scene: when we see John for the first time under Mr.Bytes care)

Huddled as close as he could humanly get to the small fire before him, the dubbed 'creature' shook and trembled- from the coldness, weakness, starvation, constant sickness...or the crippling fear, he claimed he didn't know.

Maybe it's a dreadful combination of them all, he'd mentally decided- although he knew deep down it wasn't...

Only one source stood out from the rest- one that he knew was the lone reason he was shaking so much.

The source of my trembles doesn't really matter, he miserably decided as he placed his lone good hand closer to the minuscule open flame. It's not as if I'll ever get any relief from my miserable life any time soon...

He had no way of truly getting warm; this fire couldn't keep a flea heated. His loathsome deformities had left him in a permanently weakened state- and the harsh beating he'd received yesterday did nothing but made him even frailer. Being physically deaf in his bad ear, he had misheard Bytes' command earlier that day and had briefly made a fool out of his owner- which was punished by being told he'd have to skip a few meals in hopes that would 'train him to be more obedient next time'.

All of the former had left the poor creature constantly weaken and susceptible to disease after disease, sickness after sickness...

But in all reality, he knew it was the crippling fear that harnessed him so tightly with invisible chains. Made him tense up in unbearable pain. Make him shake and tremble in his place time after time, day after day.

In fact, it was the fear that might as well have locked him in an unseen cage- keeping him contained so well. Fear dictated everything the poor man did, making him numb his mind to any thoughts and unachievable longings...

Longings of relief, freedom...respect, dignity...

Longings of a decent life, being treated like a human being instead of like an unfeeling animal, an unlovable creature...

Longing to be treated more like a man instead of an elephant...

And all at once, the dubbed creature got an even worse doubt of trembling as heard his owner's showman voice suddenly boom out behind him.

"Life!... Is full of surprises..."

Wait- no! The creature found himself miserably panicking, his deformed body tensing up as his breathing intensified. He knew what those five words meant all too well.

All at once, he huddled even closer to his fire, desperately begging it to swallow him whole as his mind racked for a possible reason for this offhand, late-night showing.

He had no possible way to keep track of time- not that he needed to, anyways. He was miserable every waking moment in his life... but still he knew enough to know the day of showing his gross body off was already over. It was nighttime; the paying customers had been disgustedly satisfied and were long gone by now, and so...

I- I thought I'd finally get some time alone, his poor mind continued to vainly beg and plead, his breathing quickening as he forced back fearful tears. Some time where I'm not forced to be-

" ..THE TERRIBLE ELEPHANT MAN!"

Somewhere behind him, he heard the curtain he was concealed behind be drawn back, making his body go stiff. He faintly heard Bytes' boy snarl- and as Bytes himself pounded his showman stick into the ground, the signal for the creature to obey...

And yet, he found couldn't bear to move- paralyzed in the crippling fear of what he'd see when he dared move. He couldn't bear to be put on display and humiliated all over again- not when he thought he'd finally had a chance to recoup from the brutal showings earlier that day.

"Stand up!" the true animal barked behind him- Bytes' voice so sharp and heartless...

And, well knowing just what the consequences would be if he dared refuse to comply, the fearful, animal-treated had no choice to shakily rise to his deformed feet.

2.) Unfamiliar freedom

(Scene: Right before the young nurse named Nora sees John sitting shirtless in bed and screams, startling them both)

Slowly running his good hand over the white sheets, John couldn't help sighed in content. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in a physical bed, with a soft, cozy mattress underneath him- but all he knew was that it felt so good under his fingertips.

His hands then danced over to the corner of a white pillow poking out from behind his back, the headrest as equally as soft as the sheets- all which wasn't lost on him. Mr.Treves had gone out of his way in making sure John felt as comfortable as possible, the man somehow sensed- something about that sent an unfamiliar yet good chill up his curved spine.

His mind bearing the grateful smile his contorted face couldn't, the deformed man slowly leaned his large head against the wall behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the clean, fresh air in the room around him. It'd been a long time since he'd smelt air like this; his poor, misshapen nose had gotten so used to the musty, dirty smells of the dungeon-esque place he'd pathetically called home for so many years...

His brown eyes widely opening in anger, he did his best to banish such negative, useless memories right then. He forced himself to remember that now (temporarily, at least) he was safe, tucked away in a ward in the hospital's attic...sitting on a soft, warm bed...taking in the air that felt good and refreshing to his sick lungs...

All at the hands of a man he was starting to think of as, perhaps, an actual friend...

These were all such new sensations -all such new experiences- that almost felt surreal to John...

And ones that definitely felt undeserved.

Briefly wiping at the tears starting to form in his eyes, John gulped down a knot in his throat. He allowed his tense shoulders covered up by a black, clean blanket to ease up ever so slightly, for his neck to quit straining in nervous alertness...

And slowly but surely felt his concealing blanket slip off from around him.

Sighing softly yet again, the man gently freed the dark blanket from around him- and tried to ball it up and place it at his side. But with one clumsy mishap from his deformed right hand, the blanket accidentally slipped onto the ground beside the bed...and with an odd sense of liberation, John found he didn't care it had fallen nor did he feel the need to pick it back up.

And although he was now perched on his new bed with no shirt on, his deformed chest and stomach bare and exposed as much as his deformed face was, John knew, for once, he didn't need to conceal his gross, misshapen body.

For once, he wasn't going to be put on display, wasn't going to be gawked at. He wasn't going to be stared at, treated like a monster.

In this brief moment in life, he didn't have to be the terrible Elephant Man...

As fate would have it, he had finally found solitude- a clean, comfortable place where he could just relax, feel at peace...

Feel raw freedom where he could just be John Merrick, detached from his awful deformities for a brief moment in time.

Leaning back and closing his eyes again, the free man gently reached down and pulled at yet another soft blanket, this one being white in color. His fingers fiddling with the edges of the soft fabric, he found that his mental smile was the widest it had ever been-

...When the door to his room suddenly opened without warning.

3.) The Key

(Scene: when Treves is trying to get John to speak)

Staring wide-eyed back at the doctor before him, the deformed man gulped heartedly. Deep within his chest, his heart pounded loudly- struggling to comprehend what Treves was virtually begging him to do.

The last time he'd dared to speak -a few odd years when he'd just begged for a few bites of food- Bytes had beaten John the worst he ever had. Although it had gone unnoticed by all those afraid to look at him in the face, John had stumbled around with raised, dark bruises all over his contorted face, making it too painful to even open his eyes for several days.

With just a few words then, the deformed man was reminded why he couldn't -and shouldn't- speak. Why he must remain silent, obediently taking whatever treatment he received...

Why he must stay a mute inmate, a nonverbal prisoner forever convicted to the torment of his own mind.

And yet, years later, here Mr.Treves was- begging John to talk. Wishing to help him, to hear how he said things. Wanting to hear the very thoughts confined to the deformed man's mind.

Every instinct in John told him not told listen, to refuse to comply- that this was all just a ruse used to further humiliate him. But there was something in the way Treves spoke, how firm yet oddly gentle his invitation was that made the deformed man's resolve weaken...

And all at once, John Merrick decided to do something he'd never truly done in all his life.

Trust another human being.

Before he could change his mind, John inhaled deeply and strained to focus on the task at hand. Closing his eyes briefly, he concentrated on what he needed his deformed mouth to do- seeking to make sure he moved his tongue in the right place and that the parroted word would come out as clear as he could possibly make it.

"Yes."

The lone, slightly distorted word felt raw coming out of his mouth, leaving his deformed lips tingling. Even though it came out a pathetic whisper, his answer seemed to bounce about the room, ricocheting off every wall around the two men...

And when the word had finally gotten a chance to reach Treves' ears, John felt himself tense up- and he couldn't help but close his eyes yet again.

Although the level of trust he had in Treves was rapidly growing by the moment... something in John still fully expected to be slapped around to face, to be cruelly spoken to. To be silenced all over again, remaining trapped in the prison he'd found himself in with no way out.

But when the expected impact never came, when the anticipated harsh, demeaning reprimand didn't reach his ears, the deformed man slowly opened his eyes...

And saw that amazed and dare he say elated smile had appeared on Treves' shocked face.

And it was then that John realized the prison door he'd had been trapped behind for so long had, just perhaps, finally found the key.

4.) Expect the Unexpected

(Scene: when John meets Treves' wife)

Nervously looking around the room, John felt his anxiety shoot up. Mrs.Ann Treves would come down the stairs any moment now...and everything inside him felt the meeting would not go well.

Every woman who'd ever seen him had run away in fright, screamed in terror, gawked in utter repulsion. One poor lady even fainted while he was on display under Bytes' so-called 'care'...

And all of that was the last thing John wanted to inflict on the possibly unsuspecting Mrs.Treves.

"Come down and meet our guest," Treves's words somewhere behind him suddenly broke up John's perturbed thoughts- making his body tense up.

Having a grievous idea of what would happen, he forced himself to mentally prepare for the inevitable...and decided that if this meet and greet were going to go as awful as he expected it to, he might as well get it over with.

Turning around quicker than he intended, the deformed man froze for a moment...but more out of his own shock of what he saw before him. Standing at the doctor's side was wonderful... and absolutely gorgeous Mrs.Treves.

Based on her unfazed reaction to the severely deformed man before her, it was clear that her husband had no doubt prepared her in advance of John's appearance- but the doctor had failed to do the same when it came to preparing John about his wife's stunning beauty.

Unable to keep from staring, John quickly realized that Mrs.Treves was no doubt one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. She was so feminine and delicate, her face so soft...and, dare John to say, noble.

Unwilling to look anywhere but the gorgeous woman before him, John couldn't help gawk in awe.

"Mr.Merrick, I'd like you to meet my wife, Ann," the doctor politely introduced, motioning towards the gorgeous woman at his side.

Turning slightly towards his wife, Treves' then tentatively nodded John's way, making the deformed man tense up all the more.

"Ann, this is... John Merrick."

His stomach doing backflips, John forced himself to prepare the woman to began nervously glancing at her husband, to be suddenly frightened by the dreadful man before them. He expected the woman to run in terror up the stairs, to start in a fit of delayed screaming...

But instead, John numbly watched as the most surreal thing happened before his eyes.

Without a moment of hesitation, Anne smiled warmly at him. Her eyes clear of any disdain for the terrible deformities the man bore, she actually approached him- and graciously extended her hand.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr.Merrick," the beautiful woman said politely, her eyes growing even softer as she patiently waited for the man to reciprocate the welcoming gesture.

Unable to return the polite handshake immediately, the deformed man just stood frozen in place- before gently grabbing her hand.

"Very pleased...to meet you...Mr.Merrick..."

The warm words, the kind gesture bounced around violently in his mind for a moment in time- leaving him unable to think, to feel anything.

No woman had ever been pleased to see him, let alone very pleased to meet him. No woman had ever addressed him by his last name before- granting him far more dignity and respect than he felt he'd ever deserved.

No woman had ever treated him so politely, so gracelessly as a welcomed guest in her home, as a person she was actually happy to meet...

As a fellow human being...

And no woman had ever dared to extend a warm hand to greet the terrible Elephant Man.

Stumbling over what he could manage as a reply to her overwhelming welcoming, John felt his cheeks burn bright red. He couldn't make himself think straight, couldn't focus on anything but the warmness bubbling up in his heart...

And before he could stop them, the tears pooling in his eyes became a heart-rendering sob he could no longer hold back.

5.) Living Nightmare

(Scene: when John is staring at the picture of a sleeping child on the wall)

His eyes glued to the picture on the wall, John felt his heart begin to pound softly. The little child looked so warm, so safe in that picture... So secure with being tucked into bed.

Before he could stop himself, the deformed man's mind allowed his mind to run amuck with the sweet dreams the child could be having, the peaceful night adventures they must be experiencing...

And wave after wave of misery hit John all at once.

Dreams were once something he could have while lying down- before his head grew to the alarming size it was currently. Perhaps to a fault, John could remember in great detail being able to rest lying flat, his mind full of peaceful, wonderful dreams...ones he could agonizingly still recall to this day...

Dreams that were freeing and calming, ones soft and almost tangible. Dreams that were comforting...ones he'd often escaped to when reality got too overwhelming...

Dreams that were at one time the only thing his deformities couldn't reach, couldn't mercilessly steal from him as they did in every other aspect of his life...

But said dreams were only enjoyed for so long.

In his early teens, John's head had swelled rapidly- and before he had reached adulthood, his skull was almost three times the size of an average man's head. Now he was forced to sleep sitting up, his tumorous head rested on his bent knees...

And all the dreams that once got him through life were now just memories, ones he'd never get to add to or enjoy once again.

Since the day he had to rest his gargantuan head on his knees to sleep, John was plagued by gut-wrenching, crippling nightmares- ones that surrounded him, swallowing whole. Ones that were so vivid it was as if they were real...and when he would awaken, he'd always found that they sadly were.

The day he began sleeping with his knees as a headrest was the day sleep was no longer an escape or retreat from reality.

It was yet another reminder of the miserable life he lived...and now, sleep was the last aspect of life his deformities had finally reached and stolen from him.

Feeling but unable to show his anguish inside, John could only stare at the sleeping child in the picture- envying the fact that said child would never be stolen from, crippled by tumorous skin or swollen, misshapen bones.

Unable to stop himself, John finally spoke just what he was thinking out loud, well knowing Mr.Treves would fail to fully understand his words

"I wish I could sleep... like normal people..."

Or, rather, his mind corrected in anguish, I wish I could dream once again...

(E/N: I'll hopefully be posting Page 2 of these drabbles soon, which further focus on John's POV in the movie. Thanks for reading!)