"Prologue
Viviana had seen the buried feelings of her lonely tortured daughter wrapped in a dark corner of Morgana's mind under an evil curse. She had been watching her daughter's descent into darkness and knew she could stop it. The lonely young man, driven by duty and destiny could help, because he too had buried feelings.
Viviana wept in sorrow for their blindness. They could not see that if their feelings were exposed, both of them would be able to achieve what they could not do alone. They could have peace. The darkness would not win.
She was watching Morgana peruse a book of magic in search of a way to control. Well if control was what she wanted why not tap the power of love. A simple love potion could be the catalyst to break through the dark curse and stop the destructive forces of hate and anger. Love was the answer. It would be the little push, along with divine intervention to crack open the dark bindings.
Viviana went to her creator with her ideas,
The God's looked at the woman and mother before them. It was not the first time she had petitioned them. It was the millionth time.
The God's rarely interfered in the affairs of men. Free agency was too important.
However, these were the pleadings of a tender parent concerned for the welfare of her child. They listened to her plan and smiled in approval.
"You have our blessing Viviana. Go with our power and protection. Make the world a better place."
Viviana smiled and bowed to her maker. "Thank you My Lord."
She quickly prepared and left to start her task.
Authors note: Here is where you should read the story, "Oops," by Ambernot if you haven't already. If you don't want to, I will recap.
Morgana made a love potion for Merlin so she could control and use him to help take over Camelot.
Over the last several weeks, Merlin and Morgana have been spending alot of time together and Morgana has learned that Merlin is Emrys, has magic, and is a Dragonlord even though she has not met the dragons in person.
When Gaius found out Merlin was under Morgana's spell, he immediately set about making an antidote and enlisted the help of Arthur and the knights to keep Merlin busy or drugged so he cannot see Morgana.
Merlin recovers just before Morgana comes to visit as she has been doing for the last several weeks. This story picks up just after she leaves.
Chapter 1
Merlin 's body was still tingling and he was very much dazed after Morgana had left his room. He had melted under her attentions and being caught up in the moment, participated whole heartedly, kissed her back, and enjoyed holding and touching her and even though he was free of the love spell, his feelings for Morgana were not diminished. If anything, they were amplified. He had not told this to Gaius, Arthur, and the knights as he didn't fully understand why himself. The difference now was that he did not feel compelled in any way to love Morgana. He just knew that he always had. Even more shocking was the fact that he could remember everything that had happened between himself and Morgana and had enjoyed every second of affection with the high priestess and was missing her warmth and attention now that she was not with him. Call him a traitor of the deepest degree, he still wanted to help Morgana, spend time with her, and make her happy even though he was free of the love potion. It made him wish he had told Morgana about his magic sooner, preventing the previous pain, death and It was all very confusing to him how his body and heart said he wanted a relationship and marriage. His conscience which had been dulled by the love potion had flared back to life casting her past violent actions into the light of his loyalty to Arthur
Long ago, out of self- preservation, he had buried his feelings for Morgana deep and locked them away in a corner of his heart, sure nothing could ever happen between them.
Now, the world was flipped on its ear because during the last few weeks of sharing magic, hugs, kisses, long talks about anything; feelings he thought were gone were now blazing to the forefront and Morgana's affections were feeding the flames as she seemed to be totally invested in, besotted with, and determined to be with him. She was listening to him without loosing her temper. She seemed to be considering Merlin more important than her bid for power. For example, when Merlin defended Arthur to Morgana as the Once and Future King, she had not lost control of her anger and responded with "that may be a good idea."
Did this mean Morgana was open to change? Did this mean Mordred could be changed so he and Morgana could work with him to create Albion and save Arthur's life? The possibility made Merlin's head spin and his heart fill with hope and wish he had revealed his magic to her when she first asked for help over 6 years ago.
His mind had reservations because of the dragons warnings and Morgana's violent actions. Merlin was appalled he had become attached to someone so callous. He was guessing the love spell dulled his conscience. Doubts sprouted as he ruminated on Morgana's willingness to kill any who got in her way and his stomach started to churn as he remembered how recently, Morgana had tested out the love spell on a guard of Camelot. That guard had killed his own wife at Morgana's request and his two children had been left orphans.
Before that, Morgana had kidnapped Gwen, taken her to the dark tower, and brainwashed her using the Tiene Diaga. That did not include the damage she had caused in her multiple efforts to kill Uther, Arthur, and take over Camelot. More recently, Morgana had asked Merlin to spy and help her start a war.
He definitely didn't want to start a war. In addition to that, he knew neither Arthur, Gaius, Gwaine, or Percival approved of any relationship between himself and Morgana. After all, she was Camelot's number one enemy. As long as she wanted to take over Camelot and get rid of Arthur, he had to acknowledge she was a threat.
The glassy love struck gaze she had pinned him with during her visit suggested Morgana was under the same love spell he had been under. He was sure Morgana would not knowingly cast a love spell on herself because Morgana liked to be in control. A love spell would greatly diminish her control. With this in mind, he was fairly ceretain someone else was behind this phenomenom of a lovestruck Morgana.
Merlin sighed in frustration and pinched his nose with his thumb and forefinger to ward off the headache these thoughts brought him. The sweetness of the last few weeks was becoming more muddied every second that passed by destiny and his loyalty to Arthur. His rose colored glasses were foggy ad dirtied.
It was further disconcerting that Merlin found himself lonely when Morgana wasn't present and found himself hoping she would change for real. He was hopeful because: she accepted him as Emrys, and a Dragonlord. In fact Morgana had glossed over everything negative he said to focus on the fact that they were together now making Merlin feel things he thought he would never feel.
It was at this point Gaius walked up the stairs to Merlin's room. He called the boy three times with no response. He was not really worried. He knew that Merlin had a tendency to stay up late practicing magic or saving Camelot. Hopefully that was the problem. Worse case scenario, he would pour some water on Merlin to wake him. Gaius walked into the room to see Merlin already awake, his eyes wide open, just laying on the bed, in this stunned and confused state.
"What did you do now?" Gaius asked.
Still dazed, Merlin didn't immediately respond causing Gaius to worry.
"Merlin, Why have you not answered. What is the matter?" Gaius looked concerned.
Merlin finally, slowly, turned to look at Gaius and said, "We have a problem."
"Gaius crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.
Merlin didn't really want to go into detail and was thankful the door to Gaius' chamber door slammed open causing them both to jump.
It was Arthur who wasted no time running across the workshop to enter Merlin's room. "Merlin!" Arthur yelled. "Where have you been? I have been looking everywhere for you."
"The eyebrow of doom, the slamming door, and Arthur's entrance made Merlin realize both men were waiting for a complete explanation.
"Before he could say more, the room suddenly glowed.
"In the middle of that glow was a beautiful dark haired woman with a brilliant visage of light that came from within her. It wasn't Morgana. But she looked strikingly similar, except her eyes were a deep blue. Her whole countenance held grace, warmth, maturity, wisdom, and a calming motherly presence, infectious to everyone except Gaius who gasped. "Viviana!"
"You know this woman?" Arthur asked.
Gaius was stunned but finally answered,"Yes! it is Morgana's mother but it could not be possible!" Gaius continued to stare before he whispered. "You died over twenty years ago."
"I did pass to the next realm." Viviana stated calmly as her gaze encompassed the three men.
Arthur had known Gorlois as Morgana's father, but had never met Viviana in person, so was very curious.
Merlin had never seen her but the resemblance to Morgana was uncanny. Both were achingly beautiful.
"Gaius is right, I am Viviana Le Fay, wife of Gorlois Le Fey, mother of Morgana Pendragon." Viviana smiled enigmatically, "I have been sent by the Gods to help you fullfill a truer prophecy than you have before recieved
All three men sat down hard, shocked into silence, their attention riveted.
The true prophecy states; Emrys, the most powerful warlock to walk the face of the earth, and the last High Priestess will work together to protect and guide the Once and Future King and Queen who will unite the Five Kingdoms, bring peace, and the Golden Age where magic will be free.
Still stunned, the three men gaped. They wanted to bring a golden age. As one, they all nodded to Viviana to continue.
"Arthur, you are the once and future king."
"I am the Once and Future King?" Arthur's mouth dropped open in shock and disbelief, "Who is this Emrys?"
"Merlin, your manservant, is the Emrys of prophecy. He was born with magic and is the most powerful warlock to walk the earth. He is also a Dragonlord."
Gaius closed his eyes praying Arthur would be calm and his ward would be safe.
Merlin was praying for a similar miracle along with simultaneously being bamboozled, confused, joyous, and frightened. He was confused as to why the dragon had withheld this true prophecy. He wanted to jump for joy that Viviana had educated Arthur of his magic, and jump under the table for fear of what Arthur would do to him now that he knew. He watched closely as Arthur wrinkled his brow in confusion and denial as he started to protest.
"But that is impossible! My father said people choose magic and it corrupts them." Arthur sputtered.
Viviana quieted him with a look. "Merlin did not choose his powers." she said. "He was born with them and has been using his powers for good."
"Why? How?" Arthur whispered as he stared at Merlin.
"Merlin is magic incarnate, so is an anomally in the world, because he is Emrys." Viviana said. "He has not able to properly help you as the Once and Future King because you have not known or understood who he is. He cannot be the Emrys of prophecy unless he is accepted by you and allowed time to do some necessary things.
Realizing there were bigger issues than his question, Arthur finally concluded he needed more information and asked, "What are these necessary things?"
Viviana smiled as he was finally asking questions instead of objecting. "He needs to create allies."
Allies?" Arthur asked.
"The most important one is your sister Morgana." Viviana said.
"But she is our greatest enemy." Arthur objected.
"She is the last High Priestess. She has magic second only to Emrys and in the past, her gift as seer has warned Merlin and Gaius of events that could have taken your life. Her magic and abilities are critical to your success." Viviana said.
Stunned, Arthur just gaped, hardly breathing, reeling at all the new information.
Merlin, who had been watching carefully, became concerned and nudged Arthur.
Viviana smiled at Merlin's concern. "Young King, you have a great friend in your manservant."
Her words stirred Arthur to take a breath and gather himself.
When Viviana saw he was ready, she continued, "There is something I must show you so you can understand." Viviana raised her hands and focused her power to show the circumstances of Arthur's and Morgana's births. Both resulted from Uther demanding magic be used; first, to ensure he had an heir in Arthur. Second, Uther used magic to disguise himself as Gorlois, to seduce Viviana. This liaison produced Morgana. Uther had hidden behind his pride and blamed magic for Ygraine's death. He had Viviana executed to hide his adulterous acts from Gorlois.
Arthur was shaking his head in disbelief, shock, embarrassment and horror as Uther's pride, grief, and callousness were exposed as the true beginning of the purge. Good opinion of his father deteriorated as he was shown thousands of innocent men, women, and children hung, beheaded, or burned for simply associating with magic, having magic, using magic, regardless of their intentions. He saw Balinor and other men hunted like animals, even after trying to help Uther because their method had been magic.
As the truth continued to be revealed, Arthur's emotions turned to anger toward Uther for his blindness in blaming magic for everything and his treachery in betraying his friends. It spoke of progress and maturity that Arthur continued to listen, even if anger and embarrassment were roiling within him.
Arthur's father had basically destroyed Merlin's life. Yet Merlin had stuck by him. Arthur was wondering why he was the recipient of Merlin's efforts until he was shown Merlin's first visit with the dragon and their destinies had been revealed to unite Albion, bring peace and restore magic.
Arthur couldn't help but feel guilty for his own blind obedience in destroying Druid camps just because his father had commanded it and saw how much like Uther he would have become if not for the efforts of man people, the main ones being Morgana, Gwen and Merlin. Morgana stood up to Uther's injustices and challenged him to think critically and move to positive action. Gwen's gentleness and kindness had stabilized him. She was his heart. Merlin's unwavering service, devotion, and outspokenness had become Arthur's conscience in Morgana's absence. Gaius and Geoffrey had also made a contribution as well in freeing those they could, teaching and training Arthur in so many things.
Arthur was shown many of Merlin's heroic deeds, skill, courage and sacrifices, in saving king and Camelot using magic. Arthur was further chagrined he had told Merlin no man was worth his tears and to "buck up" after Balinor had been killed.
Arthur saw Merlin inherit Balinor's powers and send the dragon away. Arthur had not killed the dragon. That was Merlin's feat of heroism and compassion.
He finally understood why Merlin hid his magic from him. He finally understood what Merlin had done was for him and Camelot. Arthur wanted to cry but kept watching as the horror continued for all the men.
They were shown Morgana's seer and magic powers emerge, and with it fear, because Uther had taught her and Arthur from a young age that magic was a choice people made. Uther taught those who choose magic, became selfish, evil, corrupt, manipulators bent on destroying the kingdom.
So of course, Morgana was isolated. She couldn't tell Arthur of her magic because he was bound to inform Uther of everything regardless of the outcome as he was Uther's heir. She had not shared her problem with Gwen for fear of implicating her friend whose father had already been falsely accused and murdered by Uther's command. Gaius and Merlin had succumbed to the dragon's manipulations and their fear of Uther to hide the truth from Morgana by potion and half truths. Their lack of honesty and action left Morgana bereft from any solution in Camelot.
Merlin and Gaius wanted to hang their heads in shame at this revelation. Sure, Merlin had sent her to the Druids, but, he had not shared his magic with her. Fear ruled all the other citizen's of Camelot. Morgana had no where to turn. Morgana had been afraid. She had not wanted her magic for all of these reasons.
In her desperation, Viviana's daughter turned to Morgause, only to be manipulated by twisted solutions; to her visions, magical gifts, and family connection. The projection showed Morgause casting a dark curse over Morgana to control her mind. It was all so incredibly tragic as Viviana showed the results of their current path. Merlin was shown to kill Morgana. Arthur was killed by Mordred. Gwen was murdered. No Golden Age happened.
All three men had tears of sorrow and regret in their eyes, threatening to spill as truth unfolded.
"There is hope." Viviana said, looking on the men with compassion. She projected another reality where Arthur and Gwen were alive and ruling Albion successfully. Emrys and and Le Fey were happily married, working together, using their knowledge, skills, and magic to protect, guide and teach. The Golden Age spread to the five kingdoms and beyond. There was peace, justice and prosperity. Children played, worked, and learned happily at their feet. Their subjects were happy, served each other, and treated each other fairly. Everyone thrived. It was a Utopia.
This all played quickly and left Arthur, Merlin and Gaius turning to the woman in expectation. They wanted the second reality.
Viviana said. "There are conditions for this second reality to work. Arthur Pendragon, you need to support Merlin as "Emrys" as much as he supports you as the "Once and Future King".
Arthur had not said much, in shock at the title Viviana had given him as, "the Once and Future King".
Merlin was cringing in fear that Arthur would kill or banish him. After all, Viviana had exposed his magic and Dragonlord powers with her projections.
Hunith, Gaius, the execution of Thomas Collins he had seen his first day in Camelot, and so many other events before and after that, were the voices that had driven home the need to conceal this magical part of himself to preserve his life. Merlin was holding his breath, hoping.
Arthur's brow furrowed, simultaneously wanting to hit something, and cringe in the corner in shame. Instead, he took a deep breath steeling himself to review what he had learned from Viviana about his father, his birth, Merlin's sacrifices, and Morgana's magic. It all made his head and heart hurt. While Arthur was embarrassed that he had been given credit for Merlin's heroic deeds, he was actually overwhelmed and appreciated Merlin's loyalty. He didn't think he would have stuck around for the abuse Merlin had endured at his hand. He was also cowed by Vivianna's power. While she had offered to help him, he knew and felt she could destroy him.
"My father would be turning over in his grave. But after what I have learned today, that doesn't bother me much." Arthur was humbled. "Who am I to fight against the Gods, especially when they are trying to help me?" In addition to that, Arthur could feel Viviana's love and concern which calmed him greatly. " I will be happy to support Merlin as "Emrys" and as a Dragonlord."
Viviana continued,"Morgana is necessary and important to Merlin and important to your success." Viviana said. "I do not want to see my daughter destroy herself through the hate Morgause has forced on her. Merlin needs time to free Morgana from the dark curse. Her magic, seer powers, intelligence and love make her indispensable as a great ally."
While Merlin was relieved that Arthur had so easily accepted his magic and he would no longer have to hide it, Merlin blew out his cheeks in frustration and surprise with this current revelation that Morgana was necessary for him. Sure he enjoyed Morgana but to actually change her mind and heart was asking alot. He was far from being the "Emrys" of prophecy, and Morgana was currently a problem he wasn't sure he could handle. The weight of the responsibility pushed down on his mind threatening to crush him. Merlin sat down voluntarily putting his head in his hands wanting to cry. His shoulders slumped and he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
Viviana saw Merlin's discouragement and lack of confidence and sought to build him up with her next words. "Emrys, the Gods gave you magic because of your great capacity to love and because of your courageous heart. You are an old soul. You have done some good things. But you have not always gotten the best advice. No offense intended towards you Gaius.
"None taken." Gaius said. He realized that even though he had experience, that experience had not always served him, Arthur, or Merlin when it came to including Morgana in the future success of Camelot.
Merlin nodded his head in agreement. He had not always gotten the best advice. Both Kilgarah and Gaius had warned him away from Morgana and told him not to help her.
Viviana continued with brutal honesty, "The secretiveness you have espoused has not solved anything. In fact it had promoted distrust and violence. That is one major reason you are currently no closer to achieving your destiny than when Uther was alive. It is a hard lesson to learn." Viviana said as she looked at the men.
Viviana put her hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Take heart Merlin. There is something I must tell you."
Merlin looked at her with a question in his eyes.
"I know you have feelings for Morgana and she has feelings for you. That is why I gave Morgana the idea to mix the love potion for you. I changed the instructions in her book because the blood magic Morgause used is so powerful. The love spell was the only way to start the process to break it."
Viviana continued. "Merlin, your power and love will be required to completely free Morgana of the curse. Love is the strongest magic there is. This is why I gave her the idea for the love potion and then altered it. The love potion has amplified the feelings Morgana has always held for you. Even after the spell is lifted, feelings of love and loyalty will remain because they already existed. "
"Morgana has real feelings for me?" Merlin asked in surprise.
Viviana sent him an affirmative nod. "The magic your share has been a connecting thread I know you have always felt. More importantly, your kindness, thoughtfulness, bravery, and heroism garnered her respect for you as a man. It has been locked away by Morgause's curse. To defeat it, you must understand it."
Merlin was relieved to get a validation on the way he was feeling about Morgana. Now he understood it was a residual effect of the love spell and his own true feelings. That Morgana truly reciprocated his feelings was comforting and encouraging. Merlin felt hope and warmth spread through his body. He was bolstered by Viviana's words of confidence in his abilities. He quickly gathered himself. "Explain Morgause's curse."
Viviana recapped and added to what she had projected earlier. "The curse uses blood magic, Morgana's and Morgause's blood in particular. The curse has tied into Morgana's negative experiences and feelings and has magnified them. Morgana's,blood, her magic, and negative feelings have fueled the spell making it self-renewing and stronger. That is why it is still in force even though Morgause is dead."
"What must I do?" Merlin asked.
"First go to the Druids. They will be of some help to you. Then, you must go to Morgana. Her magic and yours combined will be required to seek out the Goddess. Do not lift the love spell. It will not take away her free will. It will just help dampen the affects of the curse. Use the effects of the love spell to communicate positively with Morgana until you reach the Goddess."
Merlin blushed thinking of what that might entail.
"Gaius chuckled nervously and quietly. He understood the power in a greater degree than Merlin or Arthur.
Arthur was amused and started laughing. He always enjoyed Merlin's embarrassment. It helped him forget his own pressures. But he quit laughing when Viviana turned her gaze, piercing the chuckling men.
"Arthur, I suggest you work with Gaius to create peace with Mercia. I also suggest you arrange time every day to learn about and understand magic from Gaius until Merlin returns. It would be wise for you to involve your Queen, and your knights in the process. I will be working in the background."
Arthur started to protest. "What? you will start controlling people with magic now?"
"No, Arthur." Viviana said as if correcting an errant child. "Just disseminating and enabling truth."
"Arthur's face turned red in embarrassment. "So you are saying we have all been living under false pretences.?"
"Concerning the purge on magic? yes." Viviana almost smiled. "It is important that you calm yourself so you can think clearly and not lash out irrationally at Merlin or anyone else."
"Arthur turned even more red at her assessment.
Merlin and Gaius struggled to hold in their laughter at Viviana's bluntness. She was saying things they wished they had said so many times. Arthur was hot headed, jumped to conclusions, and abused Merlin physically or verbally too often.
Viviana continued in an imperious tone of grace and authority that quieted Arthur's outburst. "Everything I will do will be to stop bad rumors, encourage peace, and secure Camelot for you."
Viviana smiled at Arthur before directing her words and attention to Merlin. "The Goddess will give you the tools to deal with the love spell and lift Morgause's curse. You will also want to take Aithusa with you."
Merlin blinked looking at Viviana with a confused expression on his face. "Why Aithusa?"
"Viviana smiled as she faded from the room. "All will be revealed in time. I will be watching over all of you."
Arthur, unsettled by all the revelations, looked around a bit nervously. "She is gone."
"Yes." Merlin said getting nervous. Thus his next words, "But she said she will be watching all of us."
"Arthur rubbed a hand through his hair in frustrated embarrassment. "Don't worry Merlin. I will take her advice to not hurt you. I wouldn't want to anger the Gods she is serving."
Merlin let out a sigh of relief. This was huge. "So does that mean you aren't going to kill or banish me?"
As always, Merlin's words riled Arthur, and he deliberately stepped towards the newly revealed magical being with an unreadable expression, causing Merlin to momentarily wish he had said nothing.
Arthur was enjoying Merlin's fear a little too much before he decided to give Merlin a break. "Go! Be Emrys! Find Morgana!" He brought a finger up to Merlin's nose in an almost threatening manner. "When you come back, we will have a more thorough discussion and you will answer all my questions."
"Yes Sire." Merlin grinned as he got his ruck sack, threw in some food, supplies and a change of clothes. He then walked quickly to the stables to saddle his horse.