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Warning for extreme fluff and big brotherly wisdom. Word count is 1,957. I hope you all enjoy Confession Unknown.
I paced back and forth in my room as I thought about the problem that I had been experiencing as of lately. It was an unexpected problem. One that I never thought I would have in a million years. But here I was pacing back and forth in my room with my radio blaring The Clash and thinking about my best friend, Mike Wheeler, in not-so-best friend sort of ways.
Every time I was sure that I was going to do something one way his face would float into my mind and the doubt would creep in once more. It wasn't that I didn't think that Mike would like me but I knew for sure that he definitely wouldn't like me in that way. The romantic sort of way he liked El in until she dumped him for good.
I was so lost in thought and the music of my favorite band that I didn't hear the knock on my door until my older brother Jonathan was peeking into the room. I turned the radio down a bit and motioned him in.
Of all my family, Jonathan was the one person I felt I could tell anything to. He wouldn't judge me no matter what I told him. Not that I thought that my mom would judge me for anything I told her. But I don't think that she would understand this at all.
"Hey," Jonathan said, sitting down on the edge of my bed.
I sat down next to him fidgeting nervously. "Hey," I said back.
"You seem a tiny bit worried about something," Jonathan pointed out as one of our favorite songs came on the radio. "Do you want to talk about it?"
This was it. Did I tell Jonathan about my crush on Mike? Would Jonathan go and tell Nancy, his girlfriend, and Mike's sister, everything I said? I didn't think he would but there was always the possibility that it could happen. His hand landing on my shoulder broke me out of my desperate debate on whether to tell him or not.
"Uh...Yes," I said, looking at my hands as the song played on from the radio. "But...um….you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Nancy, alright?"
"This must be very serious then," Jonathan said, looking at me in concern. "Perhaps you should probably tell…."
"It's not like something medical or anything like that. Uh...um...I just really don't want to tell mom about this because I don't think that she would understand."
"But you think that I would?"
I nodded, watching his brown eyes as they looked into my own matching set. He seemed to be working things out in his mind and come to some sort of conclusion because he nodded his head in agreement.
"You have to swear it," I said, being entirely serious.
"Okay," Jonathan said, holding out his pinky to me. "I pink swear that I won't tell anyone what we talk about. Not even Nancy. Okay?"
"Swear on the Bible," I said, picking up the Bible that my grandmother had given me for my birthday one year.
"Okay," I said, putting my hand on the Bible and the other over my heart as they do in those police procedurals that mom enjoys watching. "I swear on this holy Bible that I won't tell a living soul what you, Will Byers, my brother, tell me in secret. Not even Nancy. Is that better?"
I nodded once more taking a deep breath.
"Is this something to do with a girl?" Jonathan asked, smirking as my face went beet red even though it wasn't a girl. "Who's the lucky girl then?"
"Mike Wheeler," I said, deciding to just rip off the band-aid and see how Jonathan reacted. I watched him for a few seconds and could see him trying to work it out in his head. A smile then lit his face and I was thankful that I had been right about him not judging me on this.
"Does Mike know how you feel about him?" Jonathan asked, facing me. "Have even dropped hints that you might be interested in that sort of relationship with him?"
"No to both questions," I said, looking at my feet. "I mean I didn't feel like it was the right when he was dating El. Then El broke up with Mike and I was going to say something. I really was. But I kept thinking that there was no way that he would ever be interested in me that."
"But how do you know if you don't even tell him?" Jonathan said, putting his hand on my arm. "He could just be waiting for you to make the first move."
"But what if he says he doesn't feel that way about me?" I asked, watching as my toes did battle with each other as my feet dangled from my bed. "I don't want to ruin our friend group and I'm pretty sure that this would do just that."
"Will," he said putting both hands on my shoulders and turning me to face him, "take a calming deep breath. What makes you so sure that he doesn't like you like that? Has he ever indicating either way that you know of?"
I did as Jonathan said and took a deep breath letting it out slowly. I thought back on some of the moments that I had shared with Mike. He stood by me the entire time the Mind Flayer possessed me. He didn't give up on me when I went to the upside-down. Then a memory that was closer than all of that came into mind.
I smiled as the scent of flour filled my nostrils as though I was back in that moment. All I could see was Mike's face covered in flour and sugar. His arms around my shoulders. Our bodies close together. Even the feel of the egg cracking over my head didn't detract from how attractive that I found Mike Wheeler at that moment. If I'd have been braver at that moment, I would have reached out and kissed him. But I wasn't brave enough to do that and instead asked to crack an egg over his head. Which he allowed.
"What were you just thinking of right now?" Jonathan asked, watching my face carefully a smile forming as I blushed a deep scarlet.
"I was thinking about that day that Mike and I made those muffins in the kitchen," I said, wishing that I hadn't started this conversation, to begin with.
"The day you two destroyed mom's kitchen with flour, sugar, and eggs?"
I nodded.
"What were you thinking about that particular day for? Was there any special reason you thought about that day and not one of the million others the two of you spent together?"
It dawned on me then why that was the memory that came to mind automatically. It had been just Mike and me in the kitchen. No Mom. No Jonathan. No Nacy. No Lucas, Dustin, El, or Max. No Steve. Just Mike and me. I had his undivided attention all to myself and we'd actually had fun.
"It was just Mike and me," I said, looking up at Jonathan. "We were just hanging out in the kitchen and goofing off as normal kids do. But…."
"But what?"
"I want more than that. I want to be more than just Mike Wheeler's best friend," I said, seeing Jonathan's eye widen.
"Will…."
"No!" I shouted, staring straight into Jonathan's eyes. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I love Mike Wheeler."
"Hi, Mike," said Jonathan looking towards my door.
I could feel my stomach turn into a cold pit as I turned towards my bedroom door to find not just Mike. But Dustin, Lucas, El, and Max all standing there with the same shocked look. Steve who was behind them with Nancy didn't look shocked at all though which I found weird.
"See, I told you," Steve whispered to Nancy. "I've kind of got a nose for these things now. After the whole Robin situation."
"Um...hey guys," Nancy said, turning to the others and motioning Jonathan to come with her, "why don't we give these two a little privacy?"
"But I want to hear…."
"Never-ending Story," Nancy said, causing Dustin to quiet and follow her as she'd asked.
When everyone else had left the room, Mike and I just stood there awkwardly looking at each other. Neither one of us seemed to know what to say. Or at least I was pretty sure that I had no clue what to say in this situation.
"Why didn't you say something before now?" Mike asked, breaking the silence as he put his hands in his pockets.
"I don't know," I said, looking at my feet. "I guess I didn't want to ruin our friendship if you didn't feel the same way. I didn't want things to be awkward between us or the rest of the group. You know what I mean?"
"But how do you know I don't feel the same way?" Mike asked, sounding a bit hurt and put out. Unless I was just hearing that in hopes that that was what he felt. "You just made up my mind that I didn't care about you that way without asking me first. How you know I don't?"
"I'm pretty sure that you'd have said something about it before now," I said, feeling my face heat up. "Like with El."
A look of dawning crossed Mike's face as he crossed the room to stand in front of me. "Our relationship is different from mine and El's," he said, raising my chin so that I was looking him in the eye. "It's confusing but I do like you the same way that you like me."
"You do?"
"Yes."
"Um...maybe we could…."
"Would you like to go to the Fourth of July fair with me, Will?" Mike asked, sounding hopeful and looking sincere.
My heartbeat faster as it jumped into my mouth. I couldn't find the right words to say at this moment. Days and days of preparing for a moment like this and I was tongue-tied. If it would make things any more embarrassing I would have slapped myself.
"Will?"
"Uh...I would like that," I said, finding my tongue again.
"It's a date then."
We fell into a less awkward silence than before. Neither one of us knowing what to say or do at this point. It was then that I plucked up my courage and closed the distance between us, pulling Mike into a kiss.
"It's about time," Dustin said, sounding exasperated. "You two have been dancing around each other since Mike and El broke up."
We quickly separated breathing heavily as we turned towards Dustin as one. Dustin seemed to pale as we started to move forward.
"You're going to get it when we catch you," I said, laughing as Mike nodded. "A nice face full of muffin should do the trick, don't you think, Mike?"
"I quite agree," Mike said, leading me towards the kitchen and the muffins that led to the start of our relationship.
We both broke out into giggles as we heard Dustin screaming for help.
"They're going to muffin me," he cried out, running around the yard.
As we joined the group in my backyard, I couldn't help but feel that my life was going great. Nothing could stop it.
"So what are you going to wear on your date?" Nancy asked, looking between Mike and me.
That would be a problem for another day. At this moment life was good and all I wanted to do was spend time with my boyfriend.
I hope you all enjoyed Confession Unknown as much as I enjoyed writing it.
