"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP" Kim rolled toward the offense sound knocking the alarm into the floor as she tried to smack the button, "SHIT" she leaned off the bed to grab it, nearly falling headfirst, only catching herself with the tips of her fingers, she yanked it from the wall and sat it on the nightstand with a sigh. Pulling herself up right on the edge she fought her body begging her for just a couple more minutes of sleep, she was dreading today but they needed to get up and get moving. The sun was still below the horizon and the room was pitch dark, but she could make out a lump of blankets on the other side of the bed. She slid her hand across touching the warm body lying there, "morning, mom", the lump groaned. "Hey sweetie, another nightmare?"
Makayla scooted toward Kim and grabbed her hand pulling her into her, "only a little one" she squeezed a little tighter. "That's three this week, you haven't had that many in years." She stroked Makayla's hair, something she had done since she was a little girl to calm her. "You want me to book you into the therapist?" Makayla shook her head against Kim's arm, "I'll be fine, I think it's just nerves." Kim closed her eyes, she hated when Makayla had a nightmare but at least she didn't wake up screaming anymore. "You don't have to speak today if you don't want to, I already told you that." She felt a tiny nod, "I want to, I'm fine promise."
"Was dad in bed when you came in?" Kim knew the answer before she could respond, he hadn't spent a full night in their bed in weeks. "He was on the couch watching tv at three." The sun was starting to peak through the blinds and Kim watched as her daughter yawned and stretched taking up most of the bed. "He'll be okay mom; you worry too much." She reassured her as she rolled from the bed and disappeared out the bedroom door.
Makayla padded to her room and shut the door gently behind her, she leaned against it and took a deep breath, she knew today would be hard but she needed to do this, not only for herself but for her dad and for her uncle Kevin. She'd have to be the one to be brave and get her parents through the day, her mom would hold it together and pretend she was fine but her dad would be a fall down mess, exactly as he had been for the better part of the last two weeks. She pushed herself from the door and headed toward her bathroom trying to distract from the images of her dad screaming and breaking stuff the night they found out that her uncle had been killed. She'd seen him angry before, there was no denying he was a hothead, but she had never seen him destroyed, and it scared her, she had retreated to her room and cried trying to cover her ears and block out the sound of the house being torn apart as her mom just stood idle letting him do it because she felt the same way.
She splashed water on her face and stared in the mirror, she knew this was more than any fourteen-year-old should bear but she felt like she owed everything to her parents and she did whatever she needed to make them happy, even if it was at the expense of her own feelings. She had tried to work it out in therapy before and had been told countless times that Kim and Adam would love her just the same and she didn't need to please them but it was who she was, she was the only child they would ever have and she wanted them to have the perfect child because they were perfect parents who had chosen her when they could have just left her in the system.
A knock startled her from her thoughts, she pulled the door open to Adam standing there, his hair disheveled mess and wearing clothes she was pretty sure he'd been wearing for a week now. "Hey darlin'" he rocked back on his heels, she wrapped him around the waist and pressed her cheek into his chest, not caring that he needed a shower and that he reeked of alcohol, beer, and cigarettes. She held on tight wanting him to know that she loved him and that he would be okay, that she was here and mom was here and there was an entire district of officers and detectives who had his back today.
"Get in the shower, mom's not going to like it if she has to wait on us." She released her grip on him and for the first time in what felt like an eternity she heard a small chuckle escape him, "thanks for always being my sweet girl" he planted a kiss on her forehead and turned to leave.
Kim had been watching the father/daughter interaction from around the corner being careful not to intrude. Adam had largely shut her out and she felt alone with her grief, she just wanted him to come to her, to talk to her but the only person he was letting in was Makayla which shouldn't surprise her, she'd had him wrapped around her pinky since the day they found her. But dammit if Kevin wasn't her best friend too, actually he was her best friend first and she needed someone, no she needed him to help her through this one day where they would be saying goodbye to the person who mattered most to both of them next to their daughter.
She had told Makayla when she first came to live with her that she was too little to be brave and she still felt that way, she didn't want her to have to be brave for them, they were the parents, they were the people who had chosen to love, care for, and protect her. She wanted her to be able to break down and be able to process this without nightmares and therapist visits and Adam relying on Makayla wasn't going to help with that. She waited until she heard her bedroom door shut and Adam was no longer in earshot and let herself into Makayla's room, "I want you to let dad rely on me today, you don't need to be his handler, you don't need to be brave for either of us." Makayla smiled at her, "mom, I'm not six anymore, I want to be brave but not just for you and dad, I want to be brave for Uncle Kev."