The moon is beautiful, of course.
But why don't we explore a couple more planets? Especially since Winnebago is working, there are enough supplies and there is a recycling system that can keep a small team alive?
It seemed like a good idea. At least at first, until the problem of being in one confined space for longer than it took for a simple flight from Earth to the Moon, which would not take more than a week, became obvious.
Noodle, Russ, and 2-D didn't feel it as much as Murdoc did.
Noodle focused on creating a transmitter capable of establishing high-speed communication with the Earth, Russell at times retreated into himself, communicating with the crowd of spirits inside his head, 2-D was busy drawing, trying to improve this skill.
And Murdoc, having played enough with the navigator, got bored. But it was his idea, and he didn't want to give up, so he endured, entertaining himself with the thought of drinking a cold beer on his return to Earth.
A few days later, 2-D began to get tired of drawing. He drew literally every square centimeter of every thing in Winnebago, and he was still embarrassed to draw people. Therefore, behind the scenes, he was paired with Murdoc.
Sometimes they just sat and stared at each other until one of them blinked. They finished it only when their eyes became red and dry enough to hurt.
Ignored by the others, they spent hours building an endless tower of palms.
They used each other's body parts as anti-decubitus pillows if they had no desire to get out of bed for two or more days, except to go to the toilet.
Gradually they were covered with a slight psychosis, expressed in combing - and successful! - nonexistent fleas from each other, in wanton dull admiration for each other with permission to blink, in reading each other the script of the film "The Bad, the Good and the Ugly", it's not clear where it came from on board.
By the time Murdoc began making an extremely complex toilet paper origami rose for 2-D, they were familiarly calling each other "My sun and the stars" and "The moon of my life." In Dothraki, of course.
When 2-D received this paper flower from Murdoc, he immediately hid it in his pocket and took it out only when he was alone. For example, in the toilet. There he once confused a rose with a roll of paper.
He tried to purify it, but there wasn't much water in space. He couldn't save it and was forced to throw it into outer space, hoping that aliens, if they exist, would never unpack a strange bag with dubious contents drifting in space between the stars.
One day at breakfast, when Murdoc began to wash 2-D with his tongue, Noodle couldn't stand it and wanted to move to another place.
"Looks like it's time for us to fly home," she said. "You have already started irreversible changes in behavior."
"This is not entirely true," Murdoc said.
He searched the gallery on his phone and showed Noodle at least four pictures of him in the past having also washed 2-D with his tongue at breakfast.
"Oh, the changes happened long ago," Noodle decided. "But could you not do it while I eat?"
"Of course," Murdoc agreed, and drew 2-D a wet wipe so he could finish his morning ritual on his own.
They later locked themselves in a shower, where, as Noodle was told through the door, Murdoc performed an erotic dance for friends for 2-D, like in the vampire movie "What We Do in the Shadows". Apparently, everything was exactly as they said, since Murdoc came out of the shower dressed and tired, and 2-D was calm and content.
The next day, Murdoc and 2-D invited everyone to play twister.
Noodle agreed only to turn the arrow on the colored field. Nothing confused both players. They were amused by falling to the floor and laughing in each other's arms. Noodle's absence was not noticed until three hours later.
When Murdoc, in accordance with his schedule, went to the closet of spacesuits to take half an hour sobbing for no reason, 2-D wasted that time writing songs, which he wrote thirty-two, but, deleted thirty-one a minute later, left only one text and waited for Murdoc to return from the closet.
Murdoc returned much more cheerful, ate lunch with a bunch of biomass from a special device, and he began to fantasize about the cheese he planned to see in his dream that night. While Murdoc fantasized, 2-D sang his one single lyrics to him thirty-two times, but he sang softly and directly in his ear, it didn't hurt anyone.
At night, while everyone was asleep, and Murdoc like a vigilant, brilliant mind was awake at the control panel, 2-D tiptoed to him. He lay down beside him on a dais that hid various boring things inside, such as an engine and weapons (so necessary in a journey to unknown worlds), leaving his bare ass, poorly covered by sleeping shorts, to shine in the darkness of Winnibago's salon.
"Go to bed," Murdoc said. "Earth time two o'clock in the morning."
"What are you doing?" D asked.
"I'm contemplating," Murdoc replied.
"I'll be too," 2-D said, propping his head on his hand.
And they contemplated. Tired of contemplation, 2-D laid his head on the plastic panel and looked at Murdoc.
"You're like Mr. Spock," 2-D said.
"Yes," Murdoc said.
"May I be captain Kirk?"
"No, you are Uhura."
"Noodle is Uhura - she makes a transmitter. And let Russell be Scotty."
"You're Chekhov then," Murdoc said.
"I agree to be Chekhov. But I want to be Kirk too. I want to be the captain."
"Then you're Kathryn Janeway from "Voyager". And I'm Paris."
"No, you will be Chakotay."
"I don't want to be Chacotay."
"Seventh of Nine?"
"We would be useful here one Seven."
"And if you are Picard?"
"Then you are Data."
2-D chuckled cheerfully.
"Right, you're an android," Murdoc nodded.
"And if from races?" 2-D asked. "What race do I look like?"
"A hologram? Emergency Medical Hologram."
"This is not a race!"
"Why? There was a series about the fact that holograms are a separate race. Well, if not a hologram, then an android with a positronic brain."
"And if from real, not artificial?"
Murdoc considered.
"So this... Betazoid. They are all enthusiastic and with huge eyes."
"Oh!" 2-D was delighted. "Deana Troy is so beautiful. Thank you. I like Betazoids."
"And I?" Murdoc asked. "What race do I look like?"
"Romulan?.." 2-D said thoughtfully. "No, I know! You are like..."
"Vulcan?"
"No, scary…"
"Klingon?"
"Not!" he thought deeply. "Gul Dukat, remember? How is it... Cardassian... Cardassian!"
"Seriously? I don't look like a reptile."
"But I don't know how to read thoughts," D said.
"It's true too."
"Right, you're Cardassian. And I'm from Bajor. We have a military conflict."
"Come on, we have a truce," Murdoc said. "Don't exaggerate"
"Okay," 2-D agreed. "Where are we going?"
"Where no man…"
"...has gone before," D finished. "So, anywhere, where there is something interesting."
"I know what I'm doing."
"You know what you're doing," 2-D sighed. "Okay, Cardassian General, I'm going to sleep."
"Won't you take me?
"I can't take you, you have been eating a lot lately."
"I see, then I'll just go to bed with you."
"You can do that," 2-D agreed.
2-D forgot his sleeping mask on Earth, then he adapted to crawl under Murdoc's elbow. He nuzzled Murdoc's body and slept like that most of the time. Sometimes he reflexively began to suck the skin on Murdoc's hand, but Murdoc usually slapped him on the warm ass and he calmed down, starting to rumble softly, and soon fell asleep better.
Sometimes in his sleep 2-D howled, growled and jerked his legs. This meant that he was dreaming about ducks in the park. In this case, a slap also helped, after which he first began to suck on the skin on Murdoc's arm, and then purred and fell asleep.
The main thing wasn't to let him begin to touch Murdoc with his fingers - sometimes it hurt, especially when Murdoc didn't have time to cut his nails that had grown.
Although a couple of times, when the nails were cut and sawed off, Murdoc didn't stop him when 2-D did it in the place where sometimes it was necessary to wrinkle something. Since Murdoc never left evidence for which he could be brought to justice, he did not consider himself obliged to account for this.
In any case, he didn't resort to tricks like smearing peanut butter on his nipples, so he considered his behavior very decent and not deserving of condemnation.
Before climbing under the elbow of Murdoc, 2-D muttered as usual:
- Shekh ma shieraki anni.
And Murdoc said:
- Jalan atthirari anni.
Noodle thought through her sleep: "Damn Dothraki again", but immediately fell asleep. Russell thought, "Valar morgulis!" and he himself thought in response: "Valar dohaeris". And he fell asleep, too. While 2-D was softly sucking on Murdoc's hand, and Murdoc was preparing to spank him lightly, which, in general, he even liked.