He took in the warm night air. Not knowing how to process all that he's been through, he wasn't even sure if he wants to process what he's been through.
All the torment, the pain, the pressure, the disappointments, the failures and the tragedies that he witnessed had somehow made him numb to any sort of feeling and yet, there were slight instances where he'd be able to comprehend his emotions and even get them down to a science. He wasn't sure why he would do that but he'd roll with it and take what's been given to him.
The stars glimmered through thick clouds and occasionally, the moon would peek at him. He looked around the landscape, though empty it was filled with something he wasn't really quite ready to come to terms with: uncertainty.
Even though it was the only constant thing in his life.
From his birth, to his childhood trauma, to wandering off in search of his destiny; spending a lifetime with strangers and even getting emotionally attached to one, witnessing true horror and struggle of war. And then the rest, as it's said is history.
He doesn't even know if the future holds any horrors…that's a story for another lifetime.
He was the struggler, is and will be the struggler. Will he ever find peace at the end of the road? Who knows. Will he have any regrets when it's all said and done? Probably he will. Will he finally be at peace? No one can answer that.
"Guts…" a faint voice called out the burly, broken man. He glanced down at his companion for the night, tucked in his chest and her almond colored orbs at the scarred male.
"Hm…" he sighed, gently patting her head, once again staring into the tranquil abyss.
"It's going to be alright," she firmly clasped his hand. This startled the male a bit; it wasn't every day that the ebony female would say something like that. He thought it was probably the first time he'd ever heard her say that.
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm," she nodded, snuggling back into his broad chest, falling asleep to the sounds of his heartbeat. Guts once again exasperated sigh before shuffling back against the tree. One thing he knew was for certain, he would always be wandering for his true destiny. Whether he'd achieve it or not was something he couldn't comprehend. All he knew that in that very moment, under the peeking moonlight he was at peace.
And he felt uneasy.
Who could blame him? He was used to movement, movement of all kind; good and bad. He was always moving, even when he rested for the night he knew he would be moving the next day. But that night he was resting. Something he hadn't done in, well...forever. it felt unusual, but at the same time he wanted more of it. Dare he even began imagining a restful future.
Everyone has a wish, not Guts. Simply because he was oblivious to the whole concept. A destiny isn't necessarily a wish. A wish is a yearning of something feasible that one must endure the struggle for achieving it. Guts chuckled at the very thought; more struggle, whoop-de-do. Then he felt the slender ebony shuffle against him once again and peacefully snored. Guts looked at the stillness over her face, his lips curved into a wan smile and he thought to himself,
"Maybe I want to be at peace when all is said and done…"
Maybe he will.
That was my weak attempt at a thank you to everyone I've met in the berserk fandom. You people are amazing. Apologies if it came off as sappy, sloppy and just plain weird. But I wanted to write and somehow the motive was more than enough for me.Thank you all for introducing me to such a wonderful world :)~Machu.