Disclaimer: All chaacters belong to their respectful owners.

"My life has been so hard!"

Harry Potter was in the company of three children - who were very much like him, as they had no parents. He was venting to them about how his life had spiralled out of control ever since this night he lost his mother and father.

"The night I lost my parents, I went sent to live with my mother's side of the family," he complained. "They were absolutely awful to me! My aunt and uncle treated me like dirt and favoured my cousin over me! I can't believe what Dumbledore was thinking when he left me in their care!"

"You think you had it hard?" asked the eldest child; a girl with her hair tied up in ribbon.

"We had it much worse than you!" added the middle child; the only boy - who looked very much like Harry with his glasses.

"Yeah!" agreed the youngest child; a small baby with four very sharp teeth.

"Oh yeah?" Harry snorted. "How did you Bauldelaires had it worse than me growing up?"

"You at least got to live with family when you lost your parents!" Violet explained.

"Yeah, sure!" Harry snorted. "Some family that was!"

"When our parents died," Klaus put in, ignoring Harry, "we had to live with their killer!"

"Count Olaf!" Sunny burst out.

Harry stared. He was baffled to learn these three orphans had been sent to live with the one who had murdered their mother and father. He couldn't imagine growing up with Lord Voldemort as his guardian. The Dark Lord would do a lot worse with the boy wizard than making him sleep in the cupboard under the stairs if he lived under his roof.

"Well..." Harry pondered. "Maybe he took you three in because he felt guilty for killing your parents!"

"Are you kidding?" Klaus hissed. "Olaf only took us in because he wanted to get his hands on our fortune!"

"He would stop at nothing to get his hands on the money our parents left us!" Violet shuddered. "He even tried to make me marry him!"

"Ugh!" Sunny shivered, disgusted at the ghastly thought of having Olaf for a brother-in-law.

Harry's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. Being forced into marriage with the one who killed her parents did sound like it would have sucked for Violet. There was no way he would let Voldemort force him into a white dress and put a ring on his finger.

Then again, he'd never had to worry about his sworn enemy taking the fortune his own parents left him. All the Dark Lord had ever wanted to do was kill him.

"Well, all through my school years, Voldemort was after me!" Harry continued. "He was always following me, trying to kill me!"

"Olaf was always coming after us too!" Klaus said. "Every new home we found, every new guardian who took us in, he would always find!"

"He'd be showing up in disguise," Violet added, "fooling our new carers as he'd try to kill us - and doing away with other people while he was at it."

"That's nothing I haven't seen!" Harry snapped. "Voldemort would always be blasting away at his victims with his wand. He had absolutely no qualms about using the killing curse on anyone who stood in his way!"

"That doesn't sound half as brutal as how Olaf would do his killings." Klaus muttered. "He harpooned one of our uncles through his stomach and pushed one of our aunts into an ocean of hungry Lachrmose Leeches."

"He even put me into an unconcious state," Violet cried, "and tried to saw off my head!"

"Evil!" Sunny hollered.

Harry gazed with befuddlement at the Blaudelaire orphans. The situations they found themselves in with Count Olaf were nothing at all like what he went through when faced against Voldemort. Still, however, the boy wizard was convinced he had a worse enemy than the three of them.

"How did you defeat this Olaf guy?" he asked.

"He was stabbed in the stomach..." Violet answered.

"And poisoned by a toxic mushroom," Klaus added.

"Dead!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Ah! Well that's where I've got all three of you beat! I was able to defeat Voldemort - with magic!"

A smug grin crossed Harry's face as he swished his wand proud before the three Bauldlaires. He didn't notice the sour looks they were giving him. They were not as fortunate as him to be blessed with the gift of magic.

"It was an intense battle!" Harry boasted. "The spells shooting out of our wands were conjoined together as everyone at Hogwarts watched with wide eyes. Whoever became overpowered would cease to exist. It could well have ended up being me - but instead, it was the end of Voldemort as he disintegrated onto pieces!"

The vain smile on Harry's face widened as he directed it to where the orphans stood - too full of himself to notice only Violet and Klaus were there.

"Oh yes! It was only through my brilliant wizarding skills that I defeated the most feared wizard of all time. Everyone in Hogwarts was in awe of me. Wizards and witches everywhere wished they could be as brave and as strong as me, the famous Harry Pot-ARRRGGGHHH!"

Harry's bragging was cut off as he let off an agonized scream. Sunny had sunk her four teeth into the boy wizard's hand. He hollered and cried as he tried to shake off the youngest Bauldelaire off of him. He was in far too much pain to use his magic to get the baby to stop biting him.

Believing Harry was getting what he deserved, Violet and Klaus exchanged amused grins.

"You may have gotten through your trials and perils with magic, Harry Potter," Violet said, "but all we needed to get through ours was each other!"

"The three of us can get through anything," Klaus agreed, "with the combined use of our brains - as well as Sunny's teeth!"

The end.