(A/N: Thinking is italics)
(A/N: THIS IS A CURSED FIC WRITTEN ONLY FOR JOKE PURPOSES, ITS STEREOTYPICAL FOR A REASON)
Hi. My name is Emily and I'm 4'2, with blond hair and bright baby blue orbs. Today is my first day of school, but I-I have a secret...I have a crush on the jock...but he would never like somebody like me. That's because...I'm not like other girls...I don't wear makeup or dress sexually. I enjoy reading. Another one of my secrets is that…I'm half wolf, half cat, half bird, half pigeon, half dragon, half chicken and half goat and half mermaid. He is 9'10 with dark red orbs and he's half vampire, half werewolf. My whole family died when I was 3 minutes old and since then I've lived alone.
Emily walks to her locker and sees the jock, his name is Luke. 'oh wow that's him...his name is Luke but he would never like me...I should go talk to him.' Emily's walks to Luke. "H-h-hey Luke..." Emily blushes "What the fuck you ugly idiot!" He spits in Emily's face. 'That was hot,' Emily thinks.
Later while Emily was walking to class she got pinned against a wall, it was Luke. "Hey nerd, do my homework!" Luke said. "If I do his homework maye he'll be interested in me," said Emily while walking to class.
When they get to class, they see their teacher "ok guys today we are gonna work on a group project." He tells them.
Emily thinks to herself; 'oh wow i hope i get paired with lukey dukey pukey cutey' Emily started to blush just at the thought of working with her crush.
After the teacher tells us the groups he asks "ok is everyone in pairs" the only ones that weren't paired were Luke and emily. "Luke, Emily you two have to be in a pair, ok?"
"WHAT WHY DO I HAVE TO BE WITH THIS LOSER!?" Luke shouted while slamming his fist onto his desk.
"My decision is final," the teacher said, with his tone raised slightly.
Emily thinks to herself; 'oh wow i can't believe i'm in a group with lukey pukey' She starts snuggling against Luke's arm with her cheek.
~after class~
Emily starts heading towards Luke; "H-h-hey Lukey, would you want to come to my house today and work on that school project?"
"Yeah sure nerd but don't expect me to do anything."
"Of course lukey pukey cutey Teddy bear dreamy weamy hot spaghetti and meatballs," says Emily. Luke has a slight smile on his face but quickly stops himself.
~after school~
"Ok lukey pukey dukey loving bear cute wall paint teddy bear, I'll see you at home!" Emily says and then runs away.
After Emily gets home she thinks to herself; 'Oh no my house is a mess, and I only have thirty minutes until Luke comes over!' Emily uses magic to clean the whole house in 10 minutes. 'HOW DID I DO THAT!?' she thinks
A few minutes later, Luke rings the doorbell.
"Oh that must be lukey pukey dukey cutey boor chalk baby bubble gum organ destroyer!" Emily says as she runs to the door cutely. "Where are your parents Emily?" Luke asks as he sighs.
"You see lukey pukey hot bologna, my parents d-died when I was 3 minutes old…..in a car c-crash…."
Emily says while sighing and tearing up cutely.
'Oh wow, Emily has trauma, and she's still so perfect' Luke thinks to himself.
"Don't worry Emily, I get you…when I was 7 my grandma died...I couldn't hear her because of my singing...I was so lost in the moment."
Emily looks at Luke and thinks, 'this is your chance, kiss him!' Emily grabs the collar on Luke's shirt, pulls him down and kisses him passionately.
"Luke I've had feelings for you ever since I first saw you. I think we're meant to be!" she said while squeezing her eyes closed and facing him. Luke picks Emily up and yeets her onto her bed and she yelps, and he fucks her mercilessly.
After they made love and broke the bed, Luke sits up and asks Emily if they want to get together.
"Yes of course Lukey pukey bologna balls cutey!"
~3 months later~ ~Chapter 2~
Luke and Emily are still together.
"Ok kids there is a new person in class, why don't you introduce yourself to the class ay?" The teacher said. A shy british boy with brown hair and glasses walks in and says; "Hello, I am Wilbur Soot. I am from L'manburg." Emily and Wilbur lock eyes from across the room and Luke notices. He gets jealous and growls.
~later at lunch~
Wilbur hears crying from the girls bathroom. He decides to go investigate. There she was... Emily, her face covered in tears and a few eyelashes stuck to her cheeks, she was listening to dream while crying, specifically the song Mask, mumbling "I wear a mask with a smile…" between her choked sobs. Wilbur looks at Emily's face and says,
"What's wrong?"
"Luke cheated on me with Chloe Bourgeois, the popular girl. I knew he could never like me," Emily says between sobs.
"Oh give him up Emily, you are a billion times cuter than Chloe, she's just all plastic." Emily blushes and says, "Y-y-y-you r-r-really t-think s-s-so..?" Wilbur smiles brightly.
"Of course I do!" Emily laughs and thinks, 'Why not a trillion times cuter..? Is she really better than me..?' Emily starts to sob again (and it's at this point in the story where wilbur should have left, but he did not)
Emily cries some more and opens a bag of brown m&ms to cry with. Wilburs eyes widen as he notices them, and he snatches the m&ms out of her hand and hugs them close to his chest. He says,
"I wanna fuck the brown m&m, not you." Emily gasps. Some tall girl walks into the room, clenching her fist on her stomach. "I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT, CAN YOU FUCK THE M&M SOMEWHERE ELSE?!" Emily and Wilbur burst out laughing as they walked out of the bathroom.
"Wanna skip school?" Wilbur asks.
"Yes totally!" Emily says.
~Out of school~
Emily and Willbur decided to go to a park together, And they saw a nice lake. They decided to walk near the lake. That's when Willbur saw the most beautiful thing in his life, and no it wasn't Emily. Willbur saw a beautiful salmon swimming in the lake.
"Hey Emily can you go get us ice cream?" He asks. Emily frowns.
"Give me money first to pay for it...I don't have much because my parents are dead"
"Same," Wilbur says, "Except I have to take care of my two younger brothers, Tommy and Tubbo, seeing as Dadza is so old." Emily saw a butterfly, and immediately got distracted from the entire conversation because she's built different.
Wilbur takes this chance to dive into the lake to go see the salmon. The salmon immediately swims towards him and they fall in love. Wilbur writes his number on the fish's scales with a sharpie, and gets out of the water to see Emily.
"Why are you all wet?" asks Emily. Willbur smirks and says
"I was thinking of someone" Emily blushes and smiles.
"Was it me?" Willbur chuckles and says.
"Haha no. It was the most beautiful salmon I've ever seen." Emily starts to cutely cry as she says between her sobs,
"I-i thought i was t-the m-m-m ost beautiful p-p-person you've ever seen." Willbur sighs and yells,
"SHES A SALMON YOU DUMB FU-" Wilbur jumps in the water and swims away with sally. 'Let's go find that tropical fussy,' He thinks as he swims into the distance.
~Chapter 3~
Emily breaks down and falls onto her knees as she sobs uncontrollably. But then..She saw a handsome, well built man. But he looked...familiar? She saw this really handsome, tall man, who seemed to be in his 40's.
But there was something about him that was just so familiar. The man saw her and immediately ran away, but Emily didn't want to just leave it an unsolved mystery. She wanted to know who that man was and how she knew him.
Emily magically turned into a pigeon thanks to her half pigeon side and flew towards the direction the man went.
She saw the man after 30 seconds of scoping out the area, and saw him with a...woman? Emily couldn't help but feel jealous. But then she recognized the woman. She had a picture of her in her living room. The picture was of her mother. The only picture that didn't burn in the car crash. In a moment of shock Emily shat on her mothers shoulder and passed out in the sky.
~three hours later~
Emily woke up, chained to a chair in a dark room. She saw a boy with red hair walk up to her from one of the doors.
"Hey uh sorry for chaining you up, you were a pigeon and turned into a human and I got scared." Emily rolled her eyes and said,
"Don't you know what a Hybrid is?" The boy looked at her confused, and that's when she realized how handsome he was as well. He has messy red/orange hair, a lot of freckles and an amazing accent.
"What's your name?" he asks.
"U-uhm I-i-im E-emily uwu..." The boy smiles.
"My name's Ron by the way! I hope you don't mind but I have company here. GEORGE COME HERE!"
At the moment when George came in, Emily was starstruck. Forget every guy she's ever dated or loved. He was hotter, he was just perfect. He had brown hair, white glasses or goggles, she couldn't tell with the black glass. He had a blue sweater and black jeans as well. Emily just had to shoot her shot while she could. I mean it had to be true love..right? What else could it be, they were meant to be together. "Uhh...HI I REALLY LIKE YOU PLEASE DATE ME WERE SOULMATES!" Emily shouted really quickly.
2 minutes of stifling silence went by as George stared in disbelief.
"Um…" George said. Then something happened. Dream burst through into the room, the door falling off its hinges.
"WHO'S TALKING TO MY GOGY?" They all look at Emily in silence, and Dream lifts his mask slightly so she can see his mouth. He smirked evilly as he picks Emily up, and yeets her out of the window as Ron stands gaping in the corner. Wilbur got out of the water and watched as she got thrown out and ran to the window to watch.
"PIGEON!" he yelled hoping she would form into one. She got closer to the ground and landed in a bush.
"NOOOOOO!" Wilbur shouted, and jumped back into the water.
"WHY WOULD YOU THROW HER OUT?" Ron yells. Dream shrugged and said
"Didn't you say she was a pigeon anyways?" Wilbur laughs as he says, "She didn't fly like one!"
~Chapter 4~
Emily went to school the next day with back pain. She wouldn't go to the hospital to get it checked out because she was too scared to go alone, and she didn't have any friends. It would be too awkward.
During her class she saw Chloe Bourgeois flirting with Luke. Emily felt a wave of sadness rush over her. She wouldn't let others know, she has to keep it all to herself. She wouldn't let anyone know she was hurting inside.
The entire day she saw couples walking together, having fun, and doing everything she used to do with Luke, Willbur, and could have been doing with George.
During her lunch, she smelt something burning. The normal people couldn't smell that, but Emily could.
Her wolf part has a better sense of smell, unlike the normal people with human noses. "THERE'S A DRAGON OUTSIDE!" someone yelled. Emily ran outside to see a red/magenta dragon, with a tall man with long pink hair, with a few braids. He was wearing a crown, and a red robe. He was wearing a lot of jewels and was holding a netherite axe.
A huge crash could be heard through the building. The school's courtyard was on fire, and a loud but monotone voice could be heard chanting,
"KILL THE ORPHANS!"
One particularly large figure caught Emily's eye. There was a huge, green ogre at the front of the school. The thought of dating him made Emily tingle inside.
Looking at him gave Emily flashbacks to when she got railed by Luke, and just thinking of doing that with the green guy made her get butterflies. 'He must be at least two times bigger than Luke.' Emily thought.
"Does anyone know who that green guy is?" Emily asked, hoping for an answer from anyone.
"Do you mean shrek? He's famous! How do you not know him! Have you been living under a rock?" Someone said. Emily was too lost in admiring him to care who answered her. Emily ran out of the school, to try to meet this Shrek guy.
Emily being the clumsy girl she is ran into the wall as soon as she got out the school building. She felt some huge hands pick her up, and she let out a quiet moan as soon as she saw who it was. 'Oh shit...maybe he thinks I'm weird. I mean, who wouldn't moan if you had someone as hot as him pick you up? Shrek looked a little held back by the sound she made. And as quickly as Emily moaned at him, Fiona came in with a flying kick to Emily's jaw.
"NOT MY HUSBAND!" She yelled. Emily immediately passed out due to stress.
Emily wakes up in her room, on her sofa. She rubs her head in confusion 'How did I get here?' She thinks. She suddenly feels a hand on her thigh that feels too familiar. She looks to her right to see Luke. Her ex. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Luke started to kiss her neck. Emily blushed but pulled back.
"Aren't you dating Chloe?" Emily asked. 'Normal girls would just make out with him. But seeing as I'm different I don't want to hurt anyone.' thinks Emily. Luke ignores the question and keeps kissing her. 'Well since he kept going I think it's fine.' She reassures herself.
"I tried to bring you to your bed but it was still broken..." Luke said while chuckling. Emily blushed hard as she looked at the floor with her hands on her knees clenched together.
"Why are you helping me? I thought you were with Chloe." she said.
"I fucked her and you were way better." Then a knock could be heard at the door. Without a second passing, the front door burst open, and men in full black suits walked in.
"We're looking for the lost daughter of the fairy queen. We need to check if it's the person that lives here." Emily looks confused but quickly realizes it's been her all along. That's why she wasn't like other girls. She was a princess. All the things that happen are suddenly making sense. 'I'm half wolf, half cat, half bird, half pigeon, half dragon, half chicken and half goat and half mermaid. And now, I'm also The lost fairy princess!'
~Chapter 5~
Emily stood up and said,
"I am the lost fairy princess." The men in black looked at her, and nodded.
"Come with us." they said. Emily nodded and followed them into a large black limo. She sits in silence for the entire ride. When the car stops, the men get out and say,
"Come with us, we will see if you are actually the princess." Emily nods and walks with them into a large building with tinted black windows.
They go into an elevator and go down to the -17th floor. Once they get to the -17th floor, Emily finally realizes what her purpose is. She walks into a massive room with beautiful walls, painted like clear blue skies and a few white clouds scattered around. The ceiling has shining stars and a moon hanging with noticeable wire. There is a huge pink Barbie Dreamhouse in the center of the room. There are shops and other houses around the area, but the dreamhouse is the center of attention. It was then that Emily notices the human sized barbie dolls standing around. 'Why are the barbies even taller than me…' Emily thought.
She walks towards the dreamhouse while being guided by the men in black. Once they get there the song WAP starts playing in the background. They went up the spiral staircase in the pink and white house. One they went up the stairs they went down another elevator, to get to the 3rd floor of the dreamhouse.
Once they were there they see a 6'3 beautiful queen...uh king? They are sitting on the pink fluffy throne with pool flamingos standing guard around her. He is wearing a pink strawberry dress, black high heel boots and a bisexual flag hung around their neck like a cape. There is a sign that says, "King Eret" above the throne. Eret is wearing black sunglasses, and a crown. Eret gives Emily a single glance and shouts, "WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!" The men in black look at Emily and back at eret. "She said she was the princess, are they not.?" Eret looks at Emily and shouts,
"YOU DARE LIE TO THE ROYALS?" Emily shouts back,
"I KNOW I'M THE PRINCESS, I'M NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS." Eret starts laughing.
"Not only did you bring the wrong person, but you brought a pick me girl. What is wrong with you?!" The men look sheepish, and say,
"What do you want us to do with her?" Eret thinks for a bit, and then looks like he had an idea.
"Send her through the mirror," They say, pointing at a big mirror hanging on the wall. The man in the middle grabs Emily by the shoulders and throws her through the mirror.
She lands at the feet of a lady that has a huge head and appalling makeup.
"Who DARES come into my castle?!" She says. Emily looks up and begins to open her mouth. The woman shakes her head and screams,
"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" Emily's eyes widen. 'WHAT?' she thinks. The guards, who look like red playing cards, pick her up and bring her to a guillotine outside, and the woman watches as Emily gets forced into it.
"WAIT! LUKE WILL MISS ME!" Emily yells. The woman cackles and says,
"Do you think we care? OFF. WITH. HER. HEAD!" The guard pulls the lever on the guillotine. Time went in slow motion for Emily 'Is this really the way I die? Well, at least it's not like other girls.'
THE END
Made by:
Bella
Luna
Seph
Thanks for reading this absolutely cursed fic! - Seph
CONGRATS FOR ACTUALLY FINISHING IT! - Luna
I am sorry for the disease and ligma (balls) we have caused you. I hope you enjoyed :D -Bella