Langa stared at the elevator doors that had just closed again. He had only seen a flash of red, but he was certain that he had just seen Reki in that elevator...
"Reki?"
"What's up?", Joe asked while Langa kept staring at the already closed elevator doors.
"I think Reki was here just now.", Langa answered absentmindedly, wondering if he had imagined that...
Before Joe had the chance to answer, Langa was heading for the stairs. Maybe he could catch up to Reki when he hurried. He opened the door and ran down as fast as he could.
When he had finally reached the entrance, he saw him. Reki had just exited the hospital and was running around a corner, skateboard in hand. He saw Miya standing there, frozen up and staring at the doors of the entrance with wide eyes as if not believing what had just happened. Langa wondered what that was about but realized he didn't have time for that now when he wanted to catch up to Reki. Just as he was about to round the corner, he heard an impact. It sounded like a body hitting the hood of a car. He ran around the corner but arrived too late. He heard the screeching tires, the familiar skateboard lying in the middle of the street. And ... Reki's unconscious form lying in front of the car.
"Reki!", Langa screamed in horror and immediately ran to him, checking his breathing and looking for injuries.
The driver got out of the car, too, and joined him. Langa had the feeling that he had seen him somewhere before, but for now, he couldn't figure it out. However, that wasn't important right now.
"Is he fine? I haven't hit him hard, so he should only have some bruises. Is there a way you can forget this incident? I don't want my employer to learn of this. Here's some money as compensation." The guy handed him an envelope with more money than he had ever seen before. He stared at it for a moment in awe.
For a fraction of a second, Langa was tempted to take the money. His mom was working hard, and he wanted to support her. That money would make life easier for them. Still, when he looked at Reki, he realized taking it would be wrong. Reki would have knocked the envelope out of that person's hand without thinking twice. So, he shook his head.
"Don't worry; we won't sue you. Just drive him and me home. That's all I want."
"Fine with me. Where do you live?", the guy asked before pocketing the envelope again.
While Langa talked to the guy, Reki had gotten up, rejecting Langa's hand that he had extended to help him up.
"I'm fine. I had worse injuries while skateboarding." He picked up his skateboard and left without another word. Without even looking at him...
We're not a good match anymore.
Langa wondered if it was even possible to make up, to mend their friendship. Yeah, he had broken his promise, but he'd do anything to get his cheerful friend back...
While he had been lost in thought, Reki had walked away from the scene. However, he only got a few meters further before his knees gave way. Langa ran to him, catching him at the last second before hitting the ground.
"Reki! Are you alright? Hey! Can you hear me?", he exclaimed in a panic, realizing that Reki had lost consciousness again.
"He probably just has a shock. He'll probably be fine with some rest. Come on; I'll drive you. Or do you want to take him to the hospital? It would make sense since you're standing in front of one. But please don't involve me in this."
The guy stood there, waiting for his decision. Langa thought about it. He inspected Reki, noticing with surprise that he had some bruises and scratches that wouldn't have been caused by a car accident. What the hell had happened to Reki? He looked towards the hospital. Heading there would be the more reasonable option. However, when going there, Reki's mom would learn of it, and she was already busy with her small kids. And he couldn't just deliver an unconscious Reki to her front door without an explanation.
If he took Reki home with him, he would get a chance to talk to Reki and ask him why he kept avoiding him. He had assumed it was the promise he had broken by wishing to skate against Adam. However, Joe had reminded him that there had to be more behind Reki's actions because Reki didn't only avoid him but all of them, too. He had also handed back the sticker that gave him permission to access the grounds of S. Langa stared at the sticker that Joe had returned to him, telling him that the only one who could convince Reki to come back was him. Then, he looked at Reki and made a decision.
Langa nodded at the guy, carefully picked up a still unconscious Reki, then placed him in the car and got in himself.
~ ~ ~
Reki slowly opened his eyes and looked around. Where the hell was he? He didn't know the room and had no clue where he had gotten here. He tried to get up, but that didn't work. All he achieved with that was a soft complaint from somewhere close. He looked in the direction the sound had come from and stared at Langa's sleeping face that was lying next to his shoulder, his arm covering him as if protecting him.
"What the - Langa?", he exclaimed in surprise.
You're much too close...
He felt how his cheeks burned up with his face so close to him, and he tried to free himself from Langa's grip but suddenly stopped in his tracks when taking a closer look at Langa's sleeping face. Langa was sleeping peacefully, but tears were pricking at his eyes.
What the -
Reki just stared at him wide-eyed. Langa often seemed cold with his expressionless face that even in the most dramatic situation didn't reveal his true emotions. He never lost his cool but always remained calm, at least on the outside. He knew better, of course, and had realized that his facial expressions had softened and improved while he spent more time with him, and they had grown closer. To the rest of the world, however, he kept wearing that stoic and cold expression. So, even if Langa's facial expression had improved when around him, he usually wasn't emotional and impulsive like him but kept calm no matter how dire the situation. So, he was shocked when he saw tears in his eyes. He didn't think he had ever seen Langa cry...
Without thinking, he gently wiped his tears away and ran a hand through his light blue hair.
"Reki...", Langa mumbled in his sleep. Reki jumped and quickly drew his hand back, afraid that Langa would wake up and notice. That movement had woken up Langa because he blinked for a few seconds before looking at him. Then Langa shot up, scrutinizing his face while pure worry flooded his ocean blue eyes.
"Reki! You're awake! How are you feeling? I was so worried! You wouldn't wake up." Pure relief flashed through his eyes. Reki shot up but was immediately pushed down again by Langa.
"Stay down."
Reki sighed in frustration, a hand covering his face. Why did it have to be him of all people? He was the last person he wanted to see... And why did he have to look so worried? It made things even harder...
He tried to struggle against Langa's hand, who was still fixing him in bed, but it was no use. His body screamed obscenities at him when he moved that fast, and his headache got even worse and felt as if a giant hammer was hitting against his skull. He gave in eventually, groaning and rubbing his temples while settling back into bed.
"What the hell happened? And where am I? Is that your room?"
"And why did you have to find me of all people?", he muttered in a low voice, more to himself while putting the covers up to his chin, staring at the ceiling.
"You were running across a street without looking and got hit by a car. Do you remember that?", Langa explained the situation to him.
"Oh, yeah. I do. But that's all I remember. What happened after that?", asked Reki, wondering how he had ended up here.
"You lost consciousness, so I took you home with me."
"Why didn't you take me to my home? Or the hospital?", Reki asked, still irritated.
He didn't want to be here, but he wondered how he had ended up here. As far as he knew, his home wasn't even close to the hospital... He'd never been to Langa's room, looking curiously around but focused on Langa again when he answered him in a flustered tone.
"No way! How would I have explained your unconscious state to your mom? And your little sisters would have been scared to death, too. Besides, do you want to explain to your mom how you got hit by a car?"
"You got a point.", Reki reluctantly admitted.
"But that's not the only reason I did it. I thought in your current state, you won't be able to run away from me any longer. So, tell me why you avoid me at all costs."
"You know why!", Reki exclaimed furiously, glaring at him.
"No, I don't. I mean, I understand that I broke my promise to you. I apologize for that. I've hurt you by doing that..." Langa sat up and looked at him, a guilty look crossing his face.
"But you still plan to race against Adam anyway..."
"Yes, because he's an amazing skater!", he exclaimed excitedly.
Then, Langa sat up on the side of the bed, still holding his gaze, his intense look boring into him.
"But that is not the real reason you've been avoiding me, is it?", Langa asked him.
"Huh?", he asked in pure surprise.
Langa smiled sadly. "I knew it. There's another reason you're acting this weird."
"I'm not acting weird!", Reki exclaimed angrily, clenching his fists.
"Sure you do. You haven't only been avoiding me. You haven't even been to "S" even though you love it. You haven't spoken to anyone else, either, avoiding all the other skaters as well. But especially Miya. He always acts tough, but he was really worried about you. You have hurt him the most. Especially because you gave Miya hope that he could share his passion for skating with other people again and wouldn't be lonely anymore. Miya wondered why you abandoned him. Why you abandoned skating. So, you broke your promise, too. Your promise to Miya.", he reminded him sternly.
Reki flinched at his harsh words while pure sadness and guilt overwhelmed him, remembering the words he had told Miya. Words he had really meant at the time...
Skating is something you have fun doing.
We'll never disappear from your sight.
Reki remained silent, avoiding his gaze, realizing Langa was right. His words had hit him hard since they were true.
"Reki, if you don't talk to me, I'll never understand what you're going through!"
When Reki remained silent and buried himself deeper in the sheets, Langa sat up on the bed opposite him to see his face.
"Fine. If you won't talk to me, will you at least listen to what I have to say to you?", he asked, his eyes overpowered with sadness. He didn't want to see Langa like that with so much pain reflected in his eyes. He couldn't stand it any longer and looked away.
Then, Reki sat up a bit and slowly nodded at him. "Fine. I'll listen." Yet, he still wasn't looking at him.
"I think you're amazing, Reki.", Langa blurted out.
Reki's eyes widened at this remark, instantly looking up at him again in utter disbelief. "Huh?"
"You know all those details about skating, and you've made me my very own board.", Langa continued, smiling at him. Reki just stared at him, at a loss for words for an instant.
"Why are you telling me that now?", Reki asked in surprise. Yet, Reki felt how he relaxed more and how a faint smile dawned on his lips. He saw that it encouraged Langa to continue.
"You're good at teaching, too. It's all thanks to you that I learned how to ollie."
"That wasn't me; it was thanks to your natural talent and effort." Reki instantly played it down. Langa just had innate talent, so he hadn't done anything, really...
"But most of all, you taught me that skating is fun! You're my teacher." Reki couldn't help but smile softly when hearing that, especially when he saw Langa smiling at him. Hearing that made him feel better. But was it really true...? There was nothing he could teach him anymore, so he wondered why Langa even bothered to do so much for him. Why he cared so much...
"Reki, you always go beyond my imagination. That idea of spinning the tracks and that beef with Adam, too." Suddenly, Reki's hand shot up, placing it in front of his face, signaling him to stop.
"Stop. That's enough. Really."
He felt how his cheeks burnt, flushing red with embarrassment while tears pricked at his eyes. He didn't want Langa to see him like that. He wasn't used to being praised since compared to Langa; he was a mediocre skater at best. He was nothing special...
"You usually don't talk at all, yet now you're talking so much in a situation like this...", he complained to him. It was true. Langa usually used as few words as necessary and often gave monosyllabic answers or answered in unfinished sentences.
He remained silent for a moment before he looked at him once more, feeling guilty because he had treated him like crap, and Langa still thought he was amazing. Langa didn't deserve that. He had reacted in an entirely egotistical way and had only cared for his own hurt feelings, ignoring that he had hurt Langa as well by avoiding him.
He should have talked to him. Instead, he had cowardly run away and had fled from skating, leaving Langa in the dark about his motives. Langa probably wouldn't understand it by himself unless he told him directly. He was awful at interpreting facial expressions or understanding social cues. Once, on the morning before their argument, he had told Langa that he was fine, and even though his face had probably given him away, Langa had believed him, not realizing his inner torment or the sadness reflected in his eyes. He had an open and honest face that everyone could read easily. Still, Langa had been oblivious of the truth revealed on his face.
"I'm sorry, Langa. I treated you so terribly. You didn't deserve this. I should have talked to you instead of cowardly hiding from you."
He looked up at him. Langa's expression shocked him, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and sadness. He couldn't stand seeing him suffering like that. And to know that his selfish behavior had caused all of that...
"Do you still want to know why I avoided you?"
"Yes. Please tell me. It wasn't just because I broke the promise, right? You avoided all the skaters, not just me. I just don't know why." Pure sorrow overwhelmed Langa's eyes, dimming the beautiful blue color.
"It was because all of you are such amazing skaters. I can't compete with your advanced skill and talent. I look like a nobody or a loser compared to all of you."
"That was the real reason? Are you completely dumb? Why would you even think that? You're an amazing skater, Reki. You just lack confidence. You don't believe in yourself. But I do!" Langa looked at him with wide eyes as if he had lost his mind. As if that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. It made Reki feel instantly better and cheered him up a bit.
"But it's true. When I see you skate, I get the feeling that I'll be left behind, that I can't keep up with your skills. I'm just skating in your shadow. While you soar through the sky, all I can do is watch you from the ground with clipped wings. You're so much better than me..." He dead a hard time admitting that. Even so, when he did, he immediately felt better, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders.
"Reki, that's not true. And it doesn't change that I have the most fun while skating with you. Without you, skating is no fun at all."
"When I was watching you skate at the S grounds, someone asked who I was, and the other one answered: 'Oh, that guy's some lowlife that just hangs out with Snow. No need to remember that guy.'
I think that gave me the rest and shattered my confidence into a thousand little pieces.", he admitted honestly.
"That's horrible, Reki. I'll challenge them to a beef for you! Or punch them!"
"No, please don't, Langa. They're not worth it."
Langa gripped his shoulders. "Don't believe them, ok? They don't know you at all. Not the way I do. You're the only one I want to skate with, Reki."
"But - "
"You know, Reki, lately I lost sight of why I was skating. No matter who I skated with or where I skated, I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything. It wasn't exciting or fun anymore." Reki just stared at him, speechless for once, wondering what Langa was getting at.
"But when you're watching or you're skating with me, it's different. It's only fun together with you. I feel so many emotions when I skate with you. I'm happy, excited and I'm having fun. It's as if I only feel alive when you're with me. My heart starts beating wildly, and I feel amazing. Please skate together with me again!"
When Reki remained silent, Langa continued in a tone resonating with so much pain that Reki was caught off guard.
"You know, when my dad died, I lost all the fun in snowboarding. It was something I enjoyed because he was by my side. Without him, it wasn't the same anymore..."
"Langa..."
"Skateboarding feels just the same for me. For me, talent or skill don't matter. What matters to me the most is who I skate with. And I want to skate with you. Skating without you is meaningless."
Reki still didn't look convinced. Langa had seen the uncertainty reflected in his eyes because his golden-brown eyes were still overshadowed with doubt, the traces of darkness taking Langa off guard.
After a moment, Langa sighed and ran a hand through his hair, thinking back to the words his mom had told him. Maybe there was some wisdom behind them.
I think it's best if you were honest with your feelings
Why don't you honestly relay your emotions?
Maybe that was embarrassing, as he had told his mom. Still, what if a tiny moment of embarrassment returned his easy-going and cheerful friend to him? Wasn't it worth it? He missed his bright smile and the overjoyed spark lighting up his eyes, turning them golden with happiness. He felt so lonely and incomplete without him. He was the sunshine illuminating each day. Reki didn't realize how much he meant to him, though.
"There's something you don't understand, Reki. I don't love skateboarding." He stopped for a moment and looked into Reki's eyes. Reki stared at him with a blank face.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't love skateboarding. I love skateboarding with YOU! When I skated at the last tournament, I didn't feel anything. When you're not by my side, I lose sight of how much fun skating is. I only have fun when I skate by your side. When I'm with you. I don't care about your skills, but I care for you. And I saw in your eyes that you also had fun skating with me. You were always laughing and smiling all the time. So, you feel the same, right?", he asked, a hint of uncertainty dominating his voice.
Reki slowly nodded, tears pricking at his eyes again. He tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming, flowing down his face. "When I skated with you, that was when I was happiest. So, I want to skate with you a lot more. Tomorrow, the day after that and long after that." Reki put his arms around himself and started trembling.
Langa stared at him for a moment. He wasn't good at showing emotions or touching people. So, comforting people wasn't his strong suit. Still, he couldn't stand seeing Reki like that. He felt like an idiot. Reki touched and hugged him all the time; it seemed so easy when he did it. So, why was it so hard for him?
He moved closer and tentatively put one arm around him, pulling him closer, waiting for Reki's reaction. Reki froze up for a second, then he returned the hug and sobbed into his chest, clinging to his back with both hands. Langa immediately relaxed and put the other arm around him, too, stroking the back of his head. He stayed like this and waited until Reki had calmed down again.
"I feel the same. You're the only one I want to skate with. I want to infinitely skate together with you! But even more than that, I want to see you smile again. I miss your bright smile. So, stop crying, ok?" Reki looked up at him and smiled weakly.
"That was a lousy attempt at a smile, but at the moment, I take what I can get - Ouch! What was that for?", he complained, rubbing his arm. Reki had just punched him.
"For making fun of me."
"You look better now, Reki. Besides, the first thing you taught me was that skating is fun. You were also telling Miya the same thing. So, why do skill and talent even matter?"
Reki stared at him in amazement, realizing he was right. Maybe Manager Oka had been right when he had told him that they both were different from the other skaters. Still, he loved skating as much as they did and wanted to enjoy skating again. He didn't want to watch Langa from the sidelines. He wanted to skate with him, just like at the beginning.
When thinking about it, he realized that Langa was right. He had forgotten the reason why he had even started skating. He had done it for fun, not to be a professional skater, win medals or earn a reputation. He had done it because he genuinely enjoyed it. As simple as that. How could he ever lose sight of that? He was an idiot...
"Langa, let's skate again! Now!", he blurted out while beaming at him.
"What, you mean now?", Langa asked him in surprise. "Aren't you injured? And it's the middle of the night, Reki." Even so, Reki had seen the happiness lighting up his ocean blue eyes and the trace of a smile on his lips.
"I've gotten much worse injuries while skating.", Reki played it down instantly. "Don't be such a spoilsport! Come on!"
"I can't."
"Why? If you're worried about me, my headache is gone, and a few bruises mean nothing." When Langa didn't say anything, Reki gripped his shoulders, shaking him. "Langa, was everything you've just told me a lie?"
"No! Of course not! I meant every word!" Then he looked down at the bed, avoiding his gaze. "I'm sorry, Reki. I - "
Reki didn't get why Langa was so heartbroken. A single tear even ran down his face.
"Langa, you're scaring me. What are you sorry for? And why are you crying? I don't think I've ever seen you cry. He wiped the tear away and moved his chin up so they were at the same eye level again.
"Look at me and tell me why you're sorry, ok?"
Langa looked at him. I want to skate with you. But I - I don't have a skateboard anymore..."
"Huh? What do you mean? What happened to it?"
"I'm sorry. I destroyed it during the last race against Joe. That's why I can't skate with you."
Langa looked so miserable and crushed. Still, Reki couldn't keep a straight face when Langa was so overly dramatic, so he burst out laughing until tears streamed down his face. Langa just stared at him, completely stunned.
"Now, who's the idiot now?", he asked, still grinning. "A skateboard isn't meant to last forever. It's only natural that it breaks eventually."
"Joe told me the same. But it was my first one. And it was special because you made it for me.", Langa admitted in a low voice. "It's no good if it isn't this one."
"Do you have it here? Your skateboard, I mean. Show it to me. Maybe I can repair it."
Langa nodded, a smile lighting up his features, then got up and picked up the two broken parts of his skateboard. Reki moved over to a desk and signaled to him to put it there. He switched on a lamp and inspected it for a moment, and then sighed.
"It's no good."
"Huh? It can't be fixed?" Langa asked, pure horror dominating his voice. He let himself fall onto a chair and covered his face with his hands.
"Well, it's already snapped in two..." Reki sat down in the chair next to him.
"No way..." Langa looked so devastated it broke his heart. "What's up?", he asked, wondering why a broken skateboard would be such a big deal for him. They were made of wood, so they were expendable.
"I always take things for granted and only learn to appreciate them after losing them. Like I did with you, Reki. I didn't appreciate our friendship, either. Only after you avoided me, I realized how much you meant to me... How much I cherished..."
Reki touched his shoulder and smiled encouragingly at him.
"If it's broken, you just gotta fix it. Just like us." Langa smiled at him, then nodded.
"Let's take it to my house tomorrow. By the way, why haven't I received 50 desperate phone calls from my mom yet?"
"Oh, I told her you'd stay overnight at my house.", Langa clarified for him, yawning. "Can we go back to sleep now? You have slept a few hours, but I haven't. I had to watch over a reckless redhead, after all."
"Thank you, Langa, and sorry for worrying you. But I'm fine now. I think my mom would have been shocked to see me like that. First getting into a fight and then being hit by a car is a bit much for one day."
"You got into a fight, too?", Langa exclaimed, eyes widening and staring at him in disbelief. "I wondered if all your injuries could be from that car accident..." He leaned onto his shoulder, practically collapsing.
"Don't make me worry so much, idiot. I was so scared when you didn't wake up. What would I do without you?"
Reki stared at him, speechless for once. He patted his head. "Sorry, Langa. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You better fix my board, then." Reki nodded. "I will. It's a promise."
They finally went to sleep again. Langa snuggled close to him, lying on his chest and putting an arm around him.
"Langa, that's too close. Let go."
"No way. If I'm asleep, you'll probably run away again." He clung even more to him. "I can't let my guard down around you. Who knows what you'll do next? After all your reckless behavior, I have to make sure you're still breathing the following morning. Your heartbeat is my lullaby. I can sleep more soundly if I can feel you next to me."
Reki only realized now how scared Langa had been. After everything he had done to him, he couldn't really argue against that.
"I've scared you. I'm sorry. But I won't leave or avoid you anymore. This time, I'll stay. I promise. He stroked his hair and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
Langa didn't notice anymore, though. He was already sleeping soundly.