"Say Duck, I don't mean to be pushy, but are you almost done with that copy of Uzumaki I leant you?" Tech asked. They were in the common area of the Loonatics HQ. Danger Duck sat up, looking up at Tech E Coyote from his spot on the couch.
"I'm working on it, give me time!" Duck said defensively, crossing his arms as he did so.
"I didn't know you were interested in classical literature, Duck" Lexi commented from across the room. She was in the middle of doing her yoga poses and could not help but to overhear their conversation.
"That's what I said when he first asked to borrow it" Tech mocked.
"Hey!" Duck stood up, "Just because I might not be the most intellectual individual on the surface, that doesn't mean I can't harbor academic interests underneath!"
"Yeah, but Duck, we're mostly shocked due to you and reading not going together, historically speaking" Lexi said, walking over, "You can't blame us for being that surprised, knowing you."
"I might not be the best with words, but I get by" Duck snarked, "Besides, it's mostly pictures."
Tech rolled his eyes, "Well, with that in mind, do you think you'll be done with it anytime soon? It is the academic annotated edition after all, I don't go handing it out to just anyone."
"Alright, alright, if you're that desperate to have it back then you can take it. C'mon, follow me." Duck then began walking to his room, with Tech and Lexi following close behind. They walked down the hall which led to Duck's room. Duck pressed a button next to his doors, and they slid open. Upon opening, Tech and Lexi were immediately affronted with an incredibly stale smell. They both pinched their noses closed.
"Jeez Duck, don't you ever clean this place up?" Lexi asked.
"Um, excuse me, but I don't recall inviting you on this little expedition. A lack of commentary would be greatly appreciated" Duck deflected, walking into his room. Tech and Lexi reluctantly followed behind. To say Duck's room was a total mess would be an understatement of indescribable magnitude. Dirty clothes were strewn everywhere, so much so that it was impossible to see the floor. Dirty plates had piled up on Duck's desk, and Lexi was fairly certain she saw several mostly eaten pizza slices littered around an old pizza box.
"It's a good thing the health and safety department doesn't know about this place" Tech joked. Duck ignored him, sifting through one of his drawers. He pulled out a few socks, some video games, as well as some old ticket stubs.
"Ah, here it is!" Duck said as he pulled out a hefty copy of the book. As he did so, several papers came tumbling out of the drawer with it, "Oh, um, ignore those!" Duck seemed a bit panicked; both his hands were full with the book, and so he could not pick up the papers.
"Don't worry Duck, I'll pick them up for you" Tech said without thinking, proceeding to pick up the papers. Having gone to university, he was used to people's academic papers getting dropped or scattered; picking them up just seemed like second nature at a certain point.
"N-no that's really not necessary, hand them over here" Duck said nervously, placing the book down and gesturing for Tech to hand the papers over. As he finished collecting them, the coyote could not help but glance at the title on what appeared to be the front page.
"The Fabulous Misadventures of Daffy Duck and Misty Breeze?" Tech read aloud, "Duck, what exactly is this?"
"Just give it here!" Duck quickly snatched the papers back, "This is very secretive, personal writing which I don't expect you to understand!"
Both Tech and Lexi looked at Duck, mostly just confused as to what was happening here, as well as surprised that Danger could write in the first place.
"Did you write this?" Lexi asked. Duck sighed, clearly reluctant to give an answer.
"If you must know, this is my…fanfiction" He answered, "And it was not intended to be read by anyone other than myself and the other members of the Misty Breeze fandom. I wouldn't expect some casual fans like you to understand. Now take your book and get out!" Before either Tech or Lexi could say anything in response, Duck shoved the academic annotated edition of Uzumaki into their hands and ushered them out of his room, closing the door behind them. Tech and Lexi stood there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened.
"So uh, I guess Duck writes fanfiction then?" Lexi thought allowed.
"At least he's writing" Tech noted as they began to head back to the common area.
"I guess I'm just surprised, he never struck me as the creative type, or the type who could spell words."
"Almost everyone needs a creative outlet of some kind" Tech said, "Even if it might not seem obvious, lots of people tend to enjoy creating art simply to satisfy their own needs." They soon arrived at Tech's lab, at which point they placed the book down on the first desk they came across. They both let out a sigh of relief, happy to put down such a heavy book.
"I'm just a bit disappointed we'll never get to read it ourselves" Lexi said.
"Yeah, but maybe it's for the best, after all…" Tech paused, looking down at what appeared to be a dislocated page sticking out of the book. He opened the book and took the page out. It was most certainly not a page from his copy of Uzumaki.
"Is that what I think it is?" Lexi asked.
"I think it's the first page of Duck's fanfiction" Tech said, as if he had just stumbled onto buried treasure.
"So that would be a yes. What do we do with it?"
"Well, naturally the only responsible thing to do would be to return this to Duck at once" Tech noted.
"Yes, of course" Lexi agreed. They both looked at each other, then back at the paper.
"On the other hand, there isn't any harm in checking to make sure it really is Duck's fanfiction" Tech said, clearly making excuses.
"Yes, absolutely, just to make sure" Lexi noted. They both looked down at the paper and began reading. It seemed to be the first page:
Throughout the years there have been many reporters. Some big, some small, some talented, some talentless, but every hard-core news junkie knows that there is truly only one reporter who can stand at the top. That reporter is, Misty Breeze. Yes, time and time again, Misty Breeze had risked her life to bring people the weather, as well as coverage of dangerous news stories from all around the world. Fortunately for her, she is not alone, for always at her side is her trusty and incredibly handsome cameraman, Daffy Duck!
"What kind of a name is Daffy Duck?" Tech scoffed, "It sounds like the name of a cartoon character!"
"Would you just be quiet? I'm trying to read here" Lexi chastised.
All over the world, Duck and Misty traveled, risking dangerous encounter after dangerous encounter. But it was all worth it, knowing that they were bringing the news to the people. Then, suddenly, one day when they were out near a small village out in the country, a lighting bold struck their van! Duck managed to pull Misty out of the wreck, but she had fallen unconscious. The rain began to fall; Duck looked back on their van, a mere wreck engulfed in flames. He caressed Misty's soot covered cheek, then checked for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was still alive, but he knew she would need medical attention. The brave Duck quickly slung her over his back, and began to make way to what appeared to be a small town out in the distance.
"Hey-guys-watch'cha-doing?" A voice asked, appearing out of nowhere behind them. Tech and Lexi gave a startled jump in surprise. It was Rev.
"Rev don't startle us like that!" Lexi exclaimed.
"Oh-gee-sorry-I-didn't-mean-to-I-just-sort-of-was-passing-by-and-saw-you-two-in-here-and-so-I-thought-I-would-ask-what-it-was-you-two-were-doing" The roadrunner explained.
"If you really must know, then we're reading this Misty Breeze fanfiction that Duck wrote" Tech said.
"Oh-wow-a-fanfiction-that-really-takes-me-back-to-my-days-in-high-school-not-to-say-I-was-the-type-of-kid-to-read-or-write-fanfiction-although-I-guess-I-did-just-kind-of-confess-to-it-there-but-who-cares-I-gotta-get-in-on-this!" Rev leaned in, trying to get a look at the paper. Tech and Lexi looked to each other, then shrugged. The three then resumed reading.
It was a long and harrowing walk through the rain. Duck eventually became numb to the pounding of the water on his back. The real difficulty was the mudslides. He had to be careful where he walked, lest he get caught up in one and let Misty become swept away. Eventually, after several hours he reached the small town.
"Hey! Help! I need some medical attention out here!" Duck yelled as he collapsed at the edge of town, at last giving in to his exhaustion. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was the sight of the townspeople running up to them. The next thing he remembered was waking up lying in bed. Sunlight was pouring in through an open window. The room was nothing like the hospitals back home. The floor and walls were made of wood, and there was a certain comfort its simplicity compared with the stark white hospital rooms back home. He attempted to sit up, but immediately regretted it. A soreness ran throughout his entire body. He let out a gasp. This got the attention of the only other person in the room, being that of the nurse. She quickly ran over, concerned.
"Oh, please don't strain yourself" she urged, trying to get him to lie back down.
"Is Misty alright? How long have I been out?" Duck managed to stammer, needing to know if she was safe.
"It's alright, she's fine, but she does need bed rest. The two of you only arrived last night. It was incredibly brave what you did. If it wasn't for you then that woman would be dead by now, you saved her life!" The nurse said.
"It's all in a day's work for a camera man" Duck noted.
"You mean to tell me you're only a humble camera man? I would have thought you were her security guard, or even her husband!" The nurse exclaimed.
"Me? oh heavens no" Duck chuckled, "No, being a trusty camera man is the life for me. My name's Duck, by the way, Daffy Duck. What's yours?"
"Oh, well my name's Lola Bunny, but you can just call me Lola" the nurse answered with a smile.
"Now hold on just a minute!" Lexi interrupted, "This Lola character better not be a stand in for who I think she is!"
"What do you mean?" asked Tech.
"Lola Bunny, Lexi Bunny… am I the only one making the connections here?" Lexi said, concerned.
"I-wouldn't-worry-about-it-too-much-after-all-Bunny-is-a-very-common-last-name-and-just-because-both-your-name-and-this-character's-name-begin-with-L-and-have-four-letters-that-doesn't-necessarily-mean-she's-meant-to-be-a-stand-in-for-you" Rev reassured her.
"Well, I certainly hope not" Lexi sighed, "After all, the role of a nurse does not suit me one bit!" With that they continued reading.
It did not take long for Duck to recover, at least enough to walk around. His first order of business was to visit Misty. She was still unconscious, but she was breathing, and the doctors reassured him that she was on the path to a full recovery. He spent those first few days simply waiting at her bedside, hoping to be the first person she saw when she woke up. After over a week sill waiting, however, his hopes were beginning to fade.
One day, when delivering lunch, Lola could not help but think how sad he looked. She placed a tray down and walked up to him.
"Hey, you don't need to stay here. Why don't you get some fresh air and explore the town a bit?" She suggested. Duck looked up at her, beleaguered, then back at Misty.
"You really think that will make a difference?" Duck asked.
"I know that sitting by her bed like this won't" She answered. Duck stood up, looking her eye to eye.
"Alright, I'll go out, but the instant something happens, you have to let me know" He said, authoritatively.
"Of course."
With that, Duck walked out of the hospital. He looked out on the town ahead and-
That was it. They had run out of page. It was a double-sided paper, and they had read both sides. Tech flipped it over in his hands, as if that would somehow reveal more, though he knew it would not.
"That's it?" Lexi asked, surprisingly disappointed, "We can't just stop there!"
"Isn't-there-any-way-for-us-to-read-the-rest-of-it?" Rev asked.
"We would need to ask Duck to let us read it and there's no way he would let us!" Tech said, setting the paper down on the table and flipping through the rest of the book to make sure any other pages had not gotten accidentally caught inside.
"Well, it's not that big of a deal, right?" Lexi commented, somewhat in denial, "After all, it's not like it was even good! I mean really, who actually wants to read some lame self-insert fanfic about Duck and Misty Breeze?"
The three of them looked at each other, knowing full well that each of them wanted to finish reading whatever it was that Duck had put down.
"So-how-are-we-gonna-convince-Duck-to-let-us-read-the-rest?" Rev asked.
"Maybe if we tell him we've already read the beginning he'll be open to us reading the rest?" Tech suggested.
"I don't know, he seemed pretty protective of it before" Lexi cautioned as the three of them walked out of the lab and into the kitchen.
"Maybe we could sneak it out of his room? No, that's too underhanded" Tech sighed, placing the paper down on the table.
"Hey, what'cha got there doc?" Ace asked. They had not noticed him as they walked in.
"Oh-it's-just-Danger-Duck's-super-secret-self-insert-Misty-Breeze-fanfiction-that-we-were-not-supposed-to-read-but-we-did-anyway-and-now-we-want-to-read-the-rest-of-it" Rev explained.
"Oh, fanfiction, eh?" Ace walked over and picked up the paper, beginning to read it, "I never took our Duck for the creative type." Ace was then silent for a moment, reading the double-sided paper. Slam, who had been eating whatever was left in the fridge peered over Ace's shoulder.
"Gablafflabarghthpfft Duck?" Slam asked.
"Yeah, it's supposed to be our Duck alright. That's certainly how he views himself to say the least. Is this nurse character supposed to be you Lexi?" Ace placed the paper down.
"I don't know, but I certainly hope not" She cringed at the mere thought of it.
"Well, when can we read the rest?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out" Tech explained, "We only wound up with this page by accident; in order to get the rest, we would have to ask Duck."
"Ask me what?" They all turned around to see Duck facing the group, "What's everyone going on about?" The Loonatics looked to each other, trying to find the best way to handle this situation.
"We were just going to ask you if… if you knew who the author was of this incredible story!" Ace improvised, putting on a smile. It didn't take long for the rest of the team to catch on.
"Oh, uh, yeah we're just dying to know what happens next, but we don't have the rest of it!" Lexi said.
"What is that, let me see!" Duck moved forwards, taking a look at the paper before letting out a gasp.
"What is it? Do you know who wrote it? I think it's a real masterpiece and I just need to read the rest" Tech could not help but let the sarcasm drip out of his mouth.
"I…uh, well I do happen to know who wrote this" Duck said sheepishly, "Don't tell me you seriously can't guess who this is by?" he turned to the group. They all shook their heads.
"Tech, not even you can figure it out?" Duck asked.
"I haven't the faintest idea" Tech lied.
"How did you even get a hold of this? You didn't steal it did you?" Duck leaned in, suspicious.
"I-found-it!" Rev exclaimed, trying to deflect suspicion off of Tech.
"You did?" Duck asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yeah-I-just-happened-to-find-it-floating-around-in-the-hallway-and-so-I-read-it-to-see-what-it-was-and-then-I-showed-the-others-because-I-thought-it-was-so-good-and-I-was-wondering-if-any-of-them-knew-where-the-rest-of-it-was-but-no-one-seems-to-know" Rev explained. Duck took a step back, clenching the paper in his hands, looking at the group.
"You-you mean to tell me that you all genuinely think it's good?" Duck asked. They all nodded, murmuring in agreement. Of course, they were all lying. None of them wanted to keep reading because the story was well written, more so it was a morbid curiosity which kept them going.
Duck stood as gallantly as he could, "Well then you will be pleased to know, that it was none other than I, Danger Duck, who was the author of this fine work." He bragged. There was a bit of a delayed reaction, but very quickly they all acted in shock and awe that such an artist could be within their presence. Soon enough, the Loonatics found themselves sitting around a table, each with their own copy of The Fabulous Misadventures of Daffy Duck and Misty Breeze. They continued reading where they left off:
With that, Duck walked out of the hospital. He looked out on the town ahead and thought to himself what a miracle it was that a little place like this could survive such a powerful storm. The hospital was on a slight hill, allowing Duck to look out at the houses and other buildings in the surrounding area. It really was quite small, especially when compared to the big city he and Misty had come from. He began his walk, looking around at the simplicity of life for people here. It would be a good place to retire, should the world cease to need him. People puttered in and out of shops and children played in the streets. It was all so quaint.
Then, rather suddenly, Duck was struck in the side of the head. He was not quite sure what he had been hit with, but he knew it hurt quite a bit.
"Oh, geez I'm so sorry mister!" A young boy apologized, running up to Duck. He could not have been any older than 13 by the look of things.
"You should be much more careful" Duck advised, still sounding like a calm air of authority, despite the pain in his head.
"I really am sorry! I was just running some tests on my remote-control air plane and I guess it malfunctioned" The boy professed. Duck looked down; lying at his feet was a small electronic air plane. It looked pretty damaged. Duck picked it up and handed it to the boy.
"Build that yourself kid?" Duck asked.
"Yup! When I grow up I wanna be a super genius inventor! My name's Wile E Coyote by the way."
"Now hold on just a minute!" Tech interrupted.
"What?" Duck asked.
"Wile E Coyote? You have a coyote who has a knack for inventions and coincidentally has a middle initial of E?" Tech raised an eyebrow, "This sounds familiar."
"Oh c'mon! You don't honestly think I would put you in the story, do you? How self-absorbed do you have to be to think that?" Duck scoffed, leaning back in his chair, "Wile is a very common coyote name."
It was then that Lexi chimed in, "Now that this is being brought up, I did actually have a question about the Lola character."
"Oh, for heaven sakes" Duck sighed, "Look, just because some of my totally original characters happen to share some surface level traits with you guys, that doesn't mean they're meant to be you! Honestly, I think this says a lot more about you people than it does me if you really think that."
Not bothering to say anything else, the group resumed reading the story.
"Well kid, keep doing your best, and some day your dreams will come true" Duck said, patting the young coyote on the head.
"Wow, thanks mister! Say, aren't you that incredibly brave Duck that saved that woman's life? The entire town is talking about you!" Wile exclaimed excitedly.
"Oh, well I'm not one for adulation. Knowing I simply did the right thing is good enough for me" Duck chuckled. Before he knew it, however, the coyote was already gesturing towards his friend. Soon enough, another boy had run up to him at an alarming speed, excited.
"Wow! Is-it-him-is-it-really-him?!" It was clear the boy was very enthusiastic.
"It is, it really is him!" Wile answered excitedly.
"And what's your name?" Duck asked, kneeling down slightly to get on the same level as the boys.
"Oh, nobody calls me by my real name, everybody just calls me the Roadrunner"
"Are-you-serious?" Rev complained, "Everyone-else-you-could-think-of-a-name-for-but-for-me-you-couldn't-even-think-of-one?"
"Again, I don't know where you people seem to be getting the idea that these characters are supposed to represent you!" Duck fired back.
"He's-a-roadrunner-who-talks-really-fast-and-just-so-happens-to-be-friends-with-the-coyote-who-is-good-with-inventions!" Rev said.
"Look, let's just keep reading. Before long I'm certain you will see that this is all just one big coincidence" Duck beseeched. Against their better judgement, they kept reading.
Before they had a chance to continue their conversation, an older man in raggedy clothes walked up to them.
"Who ya talk'n to there boys? Looks like a stranger" The man noted.
"That's old man Bugs" whispered Wile, "He's homeless and a bit off his rocker, but he has a good heart."
"The name's Duck, Daffy Duck" Duck said, holding out his hand.
"Oh, why yes, I have heard of you" said Bugs, "You're that good natured gentlemen whose been stayn' up at yonder hospital. When I saw that you were ah outsider, I was worried you might be dangerous, but clearly you have a good and righteous heart. My name is Bugs Bunny."
"Ok, why is it that I have to be the old homeless guy?" Ace complained.
"He might be the old homeless guy, but he's the old homeless guy with a kind heart!" Duck emphasized.
"You know what, I'm not even gonna bother" Ace sighed. They then continued reading.
"Seeing as your new here, I figure it would be best to warn you that this little town of ours ain't as safe as it used to be back in my day" Old man Bugs cautioned. The kids rolled their eyes, not taking his words seriously.
"Here he goes again! Sorry Mr. Duck, he goes on about this urban legend to everyone who comes to town" Wile said.
"It's only a legend in da first place cause it's true! Out there in those hills lives a beast beyond our conception. A hideous monster which tears apart everything in its wake!" Bugs warned, shaking his cane. Against his better judgement, Duck decided to listen, after all, local legends like this always made for the most popular news stories.
Bugs continued, "Out there in those hills, lies the Tasmanian Devil!"
"Grobrothroppflebluh evil?" Slam complained.
"Yeah, how come you had to make Slam the bad guy!" Ace backed his friend up.
"What? I can't help it if he looks big and mean, he has the perfect look to play the villain. Besides the story needs and antagonist of some kind!" Duck shrugged, at this point forgetting that he was supposed to be denying these characters resemblance to his friends. In spite of this the group resumed reading. They all turned over the page to see what was next, only to discover that there was no next page. They all looked to Duck.
"Hey, what's the big idea here? Did you run out of ink?" Tech asked.
"Oh, I never got around to finishing it" Duck explained.
"You what?" The group said in unison.
"There's no need to act so surprised, writing a fanfiction is hard work and I got distracted with other things!" Duck said.
"But what about the readers! You can't just lead us along like this only to abandon your fic and leave us all hanging!" Lexi complained.
"Sorry, I just didn't feel like writing the rest" Duck then stood up and walked away, leaving the rest of the Loonatics in silence.
Tech rested his face on his hand, "What a disappointing ending."