Finan did not know how long it had been by the time they reached the slaver's shore, but he could still hear Halig's faint and desperate screams in his ears. And when he finally manages to rid himself of those phantom screams, then it's Osbert's hushed crying. Halig died days ago, but the seawater's merciless waves did nothing other than that. He was still strung up at the bow of the ship. That hated ship. The ship that still had an empty place where Halig was chained next to his ore for however long they were there. They left his place empty on purpose. They could have gotten another slave to pull in place of Halig, but they did not. They wanted to spite Osbert.
Jonis was not there when Master Sverri called for him. Instead there was another man who talked with master Sverri before they approached the slaves. They were all standing in a row on display for him and as always, Finan was standing closest to Osbert. Osbert who had not said a single word since Halig's death. He did not rise to Master Sverri's goading or Haka's jabs. He pulled and bailed and that was it. Finan had tried on numerous occasions to make him talk to him but he never even acknowledged him once.
Finan did not know or care who Osbert was before their paths crossed. But Osbert and Halig were the reason he survived what he has been through. Osbert's mantra was always in his ears when he pulled. "Don't give up. Don't give in."
He only wished Halig was with them now. He loved land, he used to say. They were a strange combination, the three of them. An Irish, a godless Dane, and a weakly saxon. But they were all each other had. And slowly, but surely, Finan found himself caring for them. Their will to live and Osbert's desire to make certain of Halig's well being rubbed off on him. So, when Halig had his meltdown and his voice screamed "I need land!", Finan tried to persuade the shipmaster that they would hold him down, that it was the fever talking, but they were both whipped when Haka tried to silence Halig. Osbert gathered the screaming Saxon underneath him and was whipped on his back, which faced their captor, and Finan's arm that was outstretched towards his brothers was reached by the whip as well. They did not regret it and when Halig tried to apologize for it, they both silenced him. He was human. They all were. They all loved land as much as him and he did nothing wrong.
And now, they were on land. And Finan found himself once again getting involved. It was the first time in a long while that Osbert showed any sign of life. The one eyed man looked important. Master Sverri did not argue, nor did he demand a price. He just approached them and lowered his head to look upon their faces. He did not find what he was looking for and started calling out.
"Uhtred Ragnarson!"
Still, no one moved.
Then the one eyed Dane approached where they were standing and his face was full of glee. He called out again in mirth, "Uhtred Ragnarson, is that you? It's me, Sven One Eye!"
And Osbert was finally alive again. As weak as he was, he raised his head and spoke in a broken voice, "Sven?" and Finan had not heard that voice in days. Osbert was shaking where he stood but Finan could tell that it was rage, not just weakness.
The Dane continued goading him and demanded that he be given a sword and Finan found himself speaking out loud.
"He's too weak!" he pleaded, and he got beaten for it. He was too weak to even keep himself from falling. He doubled over after he crashed into the barrels behind them and Osbert tried to swing the too heavy sword towards the Dane. He fell before the sword even touched the ground and when the one called Sven announced that he was about to kill him, Osbert only looked relieved. He raised his head and showed his neck and welcomed death. Finan knew enough to know that it was not Valhalla Osbert yearned for. He was not holding the sword, which lay discarded just next to his knees. He only sought relief.
Finan could not recall anything that happened after that clearly. He remembered flashes.
Danes on horses, riding from each direction. Sven running for his horse. Arrows flying in every direction. By the time it was over, Osbert was clinging to a man called Ragnar, and he could do nothing but cry. The vicious Dane who rescued him was surprisingly tender in holding Osbert - Uhtred as they now called him, just as Halig called him Lord.
The Dane, Ragnar, ordered his men to free the rest of the slaves and Finan saw nothing but Sverri, limping away and holding his wounded arm. And suddenly, blood rushed through Finan's whole body. He bent down and released his feet from the broken chains, crouched and picked the sword that was given earlier to Osbert - he'll always be Osbert to him, and ran towards the shipmaster. He was mad with rage when he called for him and he slowly pierced the man's throat with the heavy sword.
"Pull!"
Madness did not leave him for a while. He found himself by Osbert's side once again. It seemed they did not mind it and he would only leave if Osbert told him to. They were camping for the night and they gathered around a fire.
Ragnar Ragnarson, Osbert, a Saxon by the name Steapa and a lady warrior, and Finan himself who sat on the ground by the fire. Their company made for a strange mix. He was trying to warm his hands and feet when Ragnar started talking to Osbert. He spoke of people he didn't know and orders that were supposed to hold meaning for Osbert - did he have to call him Uhtred now?- and still, he showed no sign of hearing him. He was wrapped in furs and mirroring Finan's crouch and hugging his knees, but on a large log instead of on the floor. The Lady warrior tried to make him eat but he still showed no sign of even hearing her. Only the silent tears falling from his eyes showed that he was still alive.
Finan could see that they were all worried. He was still not used to being talked to instead of their barking orders, but when the lady warrior offered him food, he tried to reassure her.
"Give it time, Lady."
He tried to break the silence once more and asked the Dane, "You're Uhtred's brother?" After all, they knew him by that name. And he was curious. Ragnar was a Ragnarson. And Sven called him Uhtred Ragnarson. "You look nothing alike." he said with a smile that felt strange on his face.
The warrior smiled in return, but gave no answer. It was his turn to speak now. "And you? Are you his brother?"
Were they? He did not know this Uhtred they spoke of. He did not know these people and they were apparently all close to him. But, the man they knew was not the man crouching by the fire. The only ones who truly knew him were Finan and Halig. And now only Finan was left. They may not be brothers, and Osbert may not favor or want Finan's company when they get wherever they were meant to travel, but Finan was resolute. He will be by Osbert's side until the day he tells him to leave.
"We are bonded, yes" he settles finally. Brothers they may not be, but they have seen enough together to know that their relationship was more than that. Ragnar only nodded in understanding
Osbert's voice broke the uncomfortable silence. It was the first time he spoke after Sven.
"Halig?" The question was clear. He talked to no one in particular, he just needed an answer.
It was chaos after that. Men were walking in every direction, gathering supplies and moving towards their camp. Osbert was with them, so Finan followed. It was nighttime when his head cleared enough and he saw the silhouette of the ship.
"Halig." he whispered to no one in particular. "Halig." he repeated. What could he do? He needed someone, any one who would listen.
The camp was still restless, and the wounded were drinking the pain away while others saw to their wounds. Osbert was in the tent with the man called Ragnar and he did not wish to disturb him. Only one man was standing still by one of the trees on the outskirts of the camp and he was watching Finan closely. He will have to do.
He approached him and tried to gather all the courage he had left before talking to him.
"We need to dig a grave."
The man only took him in stoically and said in a bored manner "No one will be buried."
"Please, we need a grave. And I need a sword."
"If you think I will give you a sword, you are delusional. I do not even know who you are, and none of us was killed. You should be thankful we let you stay."
"Not a sword then. But please, a shovel. Anything." he tried again. He was tired, but he won't be able to rest until Halig was put to rest. His voice rang in his ears again - I need land!-.
He was mad with desperation again and was considering throwing himself at the large man when a voice interrupted thim.
"What is it Steapa?"
It was a lady warrior. He has never seen someone like her. She had a Dane chainmail, and a Dane Sword but she spoke like a saxon. And she had a kind face.
"Please, Lady. I need to dig a grave." He tried again.
"No one of Sven Kjartanson's men will be buried". She said and her voice was cold.
"Yes. but it's not one of them. It's… it's one of us, Lady. he is still with the ship and I need to bury him. Os- Uhtred will want him to be buried." he said as plainly as he can. He knew he would need their help, but he will do it alone if need be.
"Who?" she asked suspiciously.
"He was called Halig, Lady"
Her reaction was mixed. Her face was a mix between relief, grief and anger. But she was resolute.
"Where is he?"
"He is strung up on the bow of the ship, Lady. Please, I need to bury him."
"Steapa, I need three of your men." she said quietly.
"Hild?"
"Now, Steapa, please."
She grieved and Finan could see it. She must have known him as well as Osbert. She stood in vigil while the men, and Finan, dug the grave. With each scoop of dirt he gatherers, Finan told Halig that it will be soon. He will be on land soon. And the Lady, Hild, still watched.
They got Halig and wrapped him. She was tender with him and it was obvious that she cared for him. They were about to be done with it when she told them to stop. She went and called for Ragnar and they both returned with a sword and a shield.
Halig was buried with shield and sword and they all left. Except Hild and Finan. He sat near the grave and she stood by its head. She placed her sword by her feet and reached in the front of her chainmail and took a wooden cross.
It took her some time to find her voice, but it was sure. She prayed and Finan's answering "Amen" always followed. He knew that Osbert would be there if he could. But they did what was needed.
When it was done and they headed towards the newly lit fire, he thanked her and she gave a sad smile in return.
"Halig?"
"We took him down and buried him. With sword and shield. As a warrior." Ragnar replied.
Finan did not know that he was a warrior, he only knew that he followed Osbert wherever they went and saved his life at least once. But he was not surprised.
Osbert nodded in reply with unfocused eyes. He moved his head in Hild's direction and asked vulnrably "You will say a few words for him?"
"I have." she replied surely. "Always, Lord."
And here it was, again. Lord. They were all here because of him. And they were sent by a king, no less. "Alfred is fond of you." Ragnar told him earlier.
But Osbert did not seem to care.
It was more than a day later, and they still were in the camp. Ragnar insisted that they'd wait until Uhtred could ride and Finan was thankful.
He found him earlier in a low field. He did not look peaceful, but he looked quiet. Serene.
Finan found himself in a similar place once he made sure of Osbert's wellbeing. He was freshly washed and laying on the ground. He did not wash himself as thoroughly as he wished and it was seawater, but it was the best his body could manage.
He heard the crunching of leaves and raised his head slowly. He had a dagger in hand, he took it from the grasp of one of the dead Dane men after the raid, and he held it in a ready grasp.
It was Hild. but she was no lady warrior this time. She was not wearing the chainmail, nor did she have a sword. Her warm smile was there as she neared him. She made sure he could see her before she approached.
"Finan" she greeted.
"Lady."
"I'm here to help." she said simply as she laid down a bucket of clean water, some damp cloths and shears.
"Uhtred?" he asked and she thankfully understood what he meant.
"I went there earlier." she assured.
She sat down silently and he neared her. His back was to her and he hesitated. He hastily took his shirt off before he changed his mind and she thankfully did not comment. She must have seen Osbert's scars as well.
She went to work and he tensed every time her hands touched him, so unused to anything but pain. She made quick work of his back and it was time for her to unwrap his feet. It was makeshift and it looked horrible underneath. She cleaned them as best she could and rewrapped them with dry, clean cloths.
He found that he could not look anywhere other than the cross dangling from her neck.
She noticed it, and took it off and gave it to him. He hesitated but took it all the same. He was lost in thought when her voice reached him. "I would like to wash your hair and comb it out, if you wouldn't mind. And cut it as well."
He did not take his eyes away from the cross in his hands but he nodded. She was tender in her care and he was thankful. She was done in a quick manner and she was gathering her things when he found his voice again.
"Death was mercy for him. Halig." He felt like she needed to know.
"Then I'm thankful."
"They blamed Osbert, but it was not him, Lady."
"I know. Of course, I know." she answered with her sad smile. "Uhtred blames himself, but in time his head will clear and he will see it for what it was."
"Will my head ever clear?" He asked no one in particular. "I do not know him. This Uhtred. But I know Osbert. And I will follow him."
"And he certainly welcomes it. And your head will clear, too. Give it time." she echoed his statement with a small smile.
She moved to stand and he moved to return the cross to her. She took it and said "It is here whenever you need it."
"Pray with me?" he asked in a small voice. "I prayed alone for so long I'm not sure what I was praying for anymore."
"Of course. Whenever you need it."
"Thank you, Sister."
In time, he got to know Uhtred. But not before everything culminated in the mad rage he saw when Osbert killed the Abbot after finding the lady Gisela. It was madness he never met before in his friend. But no one stopped him. He needed it.
In time, he got to know Uhtred. In freedom, he got to know Uhtred. And he followed him. He was indeed a lord. And his men were loyal to him to a fault. And in time, that freedom was lost again.
Ragnar did not know why, and Uhtred refused to tell him. Ragnar was obviously displeased, but Uhtred put on a brave face for him. As if swearing to Alfred was not losing his freedom all over again. He will never be free and Ragnar did not fathom why he would do that.
He told Finan, when they were both drowning in ale after Ragnar left with Brida. It was penance for his mad rage. Killing the Abbot was all Alfred needed to wrap his fingers around Uhtred once more. It was him or Ragnar and Uhtred knew that Ragnar did not deserve it. And so did Alfred, but it was all planning and cunning from him. The Abbot deserved to die, and sooner or later, he would have been killed. But it was all Alfred needed to sink his claws deeper into Uhtred.
And Uhtred tasted Alfred's displeasure before, and it left a sting. He was tired of it all.
In time, he knew Uhtred.
In freedom, he knew Uhtred.
And when he lost that freedom again, he still followed Uhtred.
From time to time, he'd pray with Sister Hild in the small thing they built in cookham. Uhtred will say it's not a church, but again he'll also say they did not have a Pagan Hall.
He prayed for Halig. For Osbert. For Uhtred's freedom.
