Well…I have been away from Fanfiction for almost 8yrs I think, and after remembering my password on a fluke, I saw just exactly what I left behind. I started as an author on a Teen Titans fic so it felt appropriate to come back the same way and work up.
Gonna test the waters and see how this story goes.
Zzzzt…zzzzt…zzzt…
Morning. Early morning, to be exact.
Zzzzt…zzzzt…zzzzt…
Beast Boy woke up and reached out for his phone, quickly shutting off the vibrating alarm.
"Ugh," the changeling groaned, glaring with one eye still closed at his phone's screen. "Six o'clock. There should be a rule not to be up past eight." He sighed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. After a massive yawn and stretch, the green hero was on his feet. Today was the day, one he had been waiting on for quite some time now. He looked down at the nightstand beside his bed and opened the drawer, revealing a small box wrapped in black velvet. "Finally," he whispered, still holding the sleepy smile on his face. He opened the box, a bright shimmering diamond staring back at him. Beast Boy closed the box and gently set it down on top of his nightstand, taking the time to get dressed and ready for the day.
Within about five minutes, the Titan was dressed, clothed in a pair of beige cargo shorts and a white tank top. His green hair was still messy, obviously showing he tossed and turned frequently in his sleep during the night. Usually, he would be asleep until around nine in the morning. From there, it was a race to beat Robin to the shower, and, if he won the race, the young man would always "serenade" his team members by singing both loudly and poorly while cleaning himself up. The tradition started years ago, so why stop now? Today however, was different. He had a mission of his own to complete, but to do it so early felt to be of the highest sin a Titan could commit. He scooped up the jewelry box and put it in his pocket, knowing that the cargo shorts easily conceal it if, by some odd chance, he runs into another team member before he reaches his destination within the tower. Thankfully, it was just a few doors down the hall. He took a deep breath and opened his door, silently stepping out and into the hallway. Stealthily he stepped, being sure not to make any noise until he came to a certain room, of which the door slowly crept open upon his arrival.
"Do you have it?" a voice asked on the other side of the door. Beast Boy nodded, pulling the box out of his pocket. A flesh, ungloved hand came out from the door, quickly grabbing the box. "Beautiful," the voice spoke softly as the door opened a little wider. Beast boy could see the sillouette of a female laying under the covers on the bed but everything else was still dark, including the figure he had just handed the box to.
"She's knocked out, huh?" The door opened all the way, and the leader of the Titans, Robin, walked out, clad in black basketball shorts and his usual red 'R' tee shirt. No mask was on his face, but his hair looked just as messy as Beast Boy's was.
"Yeah," Robin chuckled out, silently shutting the door behind him and leaving the female to her slumber. "Kind of had a fun night." Robin blushed slightly while scratching the back of his neck. "I really appreciate you hanging on to this, and I appreciate it even more keeping it secret." The two began walking down the hallway, making their way to the common room.
"Are you kidding me?" Beast Boy asked. "You know you're my homie, right? Dude, for you and Star, there's not much I wouldn't do. Seriously, you guys are like 'Couple of the Year' award for the past five years." Beast boy's ears drooped. "I do wonder…"
"What's up?" Robin asked, his brow furrowed in concern while the two still walked.
"Well, why did you ask me? You and Cyborg always seem to be the best buddies. I kinda figured…" Robin cut him off.
"Stop," he said curtly. "Beast Boy, I asked you because I always ask Cyborg to do things for me and he asks me to do things for him. I realized over the years that you're just as good, if not better of a friend than he is. Since I never took the opportunity to show the trust I have in you before, this seemed like the perfect time." They came to the door to lead them into the Common Room and it automatically opened. As usual, the place hadn't changed. There was a large sofa that wrapped around the living room area, facing out Eastward over Jump City to always catch the sunrise through the windows. The sun was just beginning to come up but to the two's surprise, the television was on, blocking out most of the windows and replacing it with what appeared to be a type of interview between a news reporter and a victim of some crime.
"Did you leave the T.V on?" Robin asked. Beast Boy shrugged.
"I turned it on," a relatively monotone female voice chimed in. It was Raven, the darkest of the Titans, laying lazily on the sofa with both her legs stacked on top of one another. Her back was propped against the edge of the sofa and a bowl of cereal was in her left hand while a spoon was in her right. It also was quite unusual to see her in low cut blue shorts and a black tee shirt instead of her usual leotard and cape. "I Couldn't sleep much."
"Guess that's going around," Robin chuckled. Beast Boy made his way to the kitchen as Robin moved to the couch. "Something on your mind?"
"More like something I want to get off of it," she said, her violet eyes looking over to Robin. "It's kind of hard to sleep at night when the only other female team member sounds like she's getting stabbed to death in the room next door." She casually took a sip of the milk left in the bowl and sat it down while Robin turned beat red with embarrassment after just being called out specifically on his escapades with Starfire. Beast Boy, however, could not contain his laughter and let loose, chuckling heartily at his friend's new perdiciment.
"Well…I…err…" Robin stammered, trying hard to find any words to save himself; nothing came to mind.
"Don't worry about it," Raven replied. She took her left hand and waved the air, as if dismissing it completely. She leaned back, her violet soft hair going over the back of the sofa while she closed her eyes and sighed. She had an A line, style haircut, never changing from when she first joined the team so long ago. "We are all adults now, and we all been through so much over…how many years now?"
Robin shrugged, but his blush had gone away.
"Either way," Raven continued. "It was only a matter of time, I figure, till this came about. As long as it doesn't come between our jobs and our friendships, stab her all you like." Robin's blush came back as Beast Boy began frying up some Tofu for his own breakfast. Raven's face dropped to a more serious look as the smell of Tofu hit her nostrils. "May I make a request? Move Star in with you and put me between Beast Boy and Cyborg. At least I'd be guaranteed to get a good night's sleep that way."
"Heeeey!" Beast Boy whined. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well," she chuckled slightly, but still kept relative composure. "Let's go through some things. You are annoying, you eat fake meat, and…you're annoying. I do not see any way you could end up keeping me awake all night like Robin and Starfire do." Robin glared at Raven, who was at this point, looking directly at Beast Boy. "Who knows? Maybe one day you will prove me wrong?"
"hey now," Robin said, cutting the tension. Beast Boy looked obviously hurt, but he shrugged it off, pulling his cooked tofu out of the pan and onto his plate. He seasoned it accordingly and made his way to Raven and Starfire. Robin continued. "First off, Beast Boy has his own life and who knows what you could expect being next to him. Secondly, Cyborg's been dating Jinx since the HIVE disbanded a few months ago so…"
"I live in a porn-o, don't I?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow. Robin shook his head. "Lucky me…"
"Wow," Robin muttered, in shock at her explanation of the situation. "I wouldn't see it like that. But look, some things are going down and maybe Star will…"
"she should be happy to move in after you pop that question."
Robin and Beast Boy both stared at her in disbelief. Raven turned to face them.
"Over the years, I have developed certain types of telepathy. I have to say, I was not expecting you to ask this one for such a big task to hold the ring like you did." Beast Boy hung his head; her words stung deep in his heart as she vocally expressed the belief that, not only was he incapable of scoring with a woman, but was also incapable of any task given to him. He stood up slowly, looking down at his tofu.
"I kind of lost my appetite," Beast Boy said softly, turning toward the kitchen. Since he was the only one who enjoyed tofu in the tower, he wasted no time throwing his food in the trash. "I think I am going to go for a run this morning. I'll have my communicator on if anyone needs me." Raven's eyes softened slightly, realizing she cut her friend painfully deep with her snarky words, but before she could get an apology out, the changeling was gone and the only one left was Robin, sitting across from her with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face.
"It has been a good seven years as a team," Robin pointed out. "We all grew up, but still fight together. Starfire and I fell in love, Cyborg has someone too. All seven years, the only two that haven't done anything is you and Beast Boy. No matter what he does, you cut him down. Did it ever occur to you why he is the way he is?" Raven lowered her head and grabbed the bridge of her nose with her right hand, taking in a deep breath. It was early, and she was in no mood for a lecture. Regardless, Robin was right.
"No," she said, still touching the bridge of her nose and massaging it with her pointer and middle fingers. "I always thought its just the way he is." Robin sighed and stood up, still looking at her.
"For being so smart and magical," Robin started, "you sure are dense." Raven took offense.
"Excuse me?" she said, standing up as well. "Dense? Have you SEEN Beast Boy?"
"Have you?"
Raven stopped, her eyes widening a bit. "The truth is, Raven, you have let his 'annoying' side take place on what he really is. Beast Boy is a lot more, and wants to be a lot more than some dopey comic relief from the team. Hell, I barely know him myself, but I do understand that there is a lot more underneath what he lets us see." He paused and walked closer to Raven. "I'm not saying to be buddy-buddy with him, Raven. I'm saying you should try to know him better. He has taken years of this abuse from you. Don't you think you owe it to him?" Raven looked down shaking her head. Robin's words hurt, but he was dead-nuts accurate on his accusation. Over the years, everyone else managed to cope with Beast Boy, but she has been the cruelest to him.
"What do you know of him?" Robin asked her. She sighed and crossed her arms.
"He loves video games," she listed in her usual monotone manner. "Lots, and lots of video games."
"okay….and?"
"He's always trying out jokes."
"Did you ever ask him why?"
"No, I never wanted to know."
Robin gave a soft nod. "Okay, what else?"
"Well, he can quote any horror movie. I can't lie, that is pretty impressive." Raven gave a soft smile and scratched the back of her neck. "He also hates eating meat, but loves pizza, which is kind of funny being vegan but eating cheese."
"Are you sure he's actually 'Vegan'?"
"He eats tofu," Raven replied. "Sounds vegan to me." Robin let out a slight chuckle while Raven continued. "He usually keeps to himself at nighttime, but in the evenings, he always seems to be with a member of the team doing something."
"You may not feel like it," Robin began, turning away from her and heading towards the door, "but BB is a much bigger part of the team then you realize. Tonight, you're going to see."
"Wait, what?"
Robin turned to face her right as the door out opened.
"Well, Starfire and I have plans today, as well as Cyborg and Jinx so you and Beast Boy will be holding down the fort until tomorrow.'
There was a pause, almost an eternity went by before Raven uttered one word.
"Shit."
Robin chuckled and waved good bye to her as the door shut. Just like that, Raven was alone again. She sighed and flopped down on the couch. She glared at the television and turned it off without even using the remote.
What does he know? Raven thought to herself. Beast Boy is just that…a boy. He could never grow up. Twenty years old, forty…he'll never change. She closed her eyes and took a breath as she continued to think. But what if? What if Robin is right? I get it that I haven't been the nicest to him, but… her thoughts trailed off as she sat in complete silence.
"I really haven't been that nice to him." Raven stood up and began to walk back out of the Common room and to her destination, which was the top of the Tower. She stepped out and looked around, relatively grateful that, once again, she was alone. She made her way to the edge of the building and sat Indian-style, closing her eyes as her body began to levitate. "Time to speak to someone…"
Moments later, Raven was inside her mind, surrounded by all of her emotions.
"Okay," Raven said while all of her emotions circled closer. "We need to discuss some things."
The emotions around her all nodded in unison, taking a seat on the cold stone floor. It was obvious since the loss of Trigon that Raven's mind had changed for the better, but it was still dark. "First things first," she started. "What's this deal with Beast Boy? Who is running all that?"
A version of Raven, in a bright green cloak raised her hand, as well as another one who was in a magenta colored cloak. "Envy…and irritation," Raven said with a slight look of surprise. "Well, the irritation, I can surly understand, but why envy?"
"Because!" the Envy personality spoke brashly. "Why does he get all the attention? Everyone always seems to like having him around, but what about you? If he was gone for a few hours, the team would ask about him, what he is doing, where he is….and would they ask the same with me?" The circle of emotions all cheered "Hear hear!" to the emotion's rant. Timid spoke next.
"It may not be his fault," Timid said, sulking under her cloak. "If we weren't so locked away and creepy, maybe we would be where he is in the team?"
"It's not about that," the irritable version spoke up, cutting off the timid one and making her cower. "It is not about being popular or about having the interactions that he does. It's about what he does to us in particular that really rubs me the wrong way."
The true Raven slightly nodded, admitting that the changeling could be very annoying. Then, the pink robed version raised her hand. "Who are you trying to fool?" she asked, pointing at Raven. "He is funny, he is reliable, and the only reason you don't like him is because you feel there's something behind it. Even though you feel it, you don't want to pursue it, so you pick on him and drive him away so you don't get closer to him." All the versions of her personality stared at the Happy emotion, but she remained steadfast. "Am I right?" The other emotions all nodded in unison.
"Well," Raven said. "I guess this afternoon I may be finding out. It is just going to be me and him at the tower for the night. Now, just because Trigon is history doesn't give any of you the right to get out, you hear me? I'm still in control. Knowing all this however does help me, so thank you. Now, behave yourselves. I'm going back." She said her usual chant, and she was brought back to the present world, waking out of her trance with Beast Boy right beside her. She gasped, startled at him being there. Unknown to her, she had been in her head for almost two hours and the sun was already up.
"Hey," Beast Boy said softly. "are you good?"
"Yeah," Raven replied, softly sinking down from her levitating state to where she was sitting. She took a breath and let out a sigh. "What are you doing here?"
"I finished my run and figured to come up here for a little bit to think. I didn't realize you were here already." He looked outward over the ocean and into the city and pulled up a seat next to her. "You know," he paused for a second, searching for the right words to say. "I'm sorry, Raven." Her eyes shot open. Sorry? For what? She looked at him with obvious signs of concern.
"What the Hell are you apologizing for?" Raven asked. Beast Boy continued to look out towards the city.
"I know I have worked a lot of nerves over the years with you. All I wanted to do was just take some of the hurt away, you know? Humor always heals the soul, or so I've been told. It's always helped me when I hit my dark times…"
"Whoa now!" Raven stopped him. "Dark times? Beast Boy, you are kind of scaring me. Are you okay?" he slowly shook his head.
"Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not." He watched as a lone seagull flew over the tower. "There have been many times that I just wish to be like a bird and go away, start new." He took in a breath and released it while Raven watched him intently. This was a very unexpected conversation to say the least. "I can't though."
"Why not?" Raven asked, both curious and concerned.
"I feel like if I do go, then the team would fall apart." Raven raised her eyebrows.
"Conceeded much?" she asked. Beast Boy shook his head.
"Not like that," he replied. "I mean, there would be no one to pull someone from that brink if I was gone. We have our battles, our brushes with death, our struggles. If no one is able to give a bright side to every situation, then…"
"the Brightside becomes the dark," Raven finished, her eyes becoming downcast as she just discovered why exactly Beast Boy has been this way for so long. "So, all the jokes, the pranks, and childish attempts are…"
"To keep us from falling too deep into our jobs and less into our humanity." Beast Boy stood up. "It has been a very hard seven years, and I know for a fact it's been hard on you, but I do feel it works." Raven began to stand up and Beast Boy offered his hand to help her up. "So, that's what I wanted to apologize for. Some people enjoy the attention, and knowing now what I do, I think I am about seven years too late at overstepping your boundaries." Raven gave a soft smile as she accepted his hand and received help to her feet.
"It isn't that," she replied, dusting the dirt and grit off of her backside with her hands. "In honesty, Beast Boy, I think I am the one who owes you the apology. All this time I have just figured it was your personality, an annoying pest that no bug zapper could extinguish." She looked up at Beast Boy, seeing a sad look on his face. "That's the issue though, BB, I've seen you like that because my emotions are not like others. I have to have them a certain way, and I've had to always guard them." She sighed and began walking to the door with Beast Boy beside her. "So, I am sorry that, in my state of mind, I couldn't see the big picture." He smiled as he opened the door leading back into the tower. Raven looked deeply at him, feeling that there was much more to it than what he discussed. "There is more isn't it?"
Beast Boy shut the door after they both walked through it. "It's hard to explain," he said, holding the handrail of the stairs with his right hand as he walked behind Raven. "I guess my comedic side is also a way to heal myself." Raven stopped and turned around, looking up at him since he was still a few steps above her. The look she gave him was not of anger, irritation or rejection, but one of concern and utmost worry.
"Beast Boy," she said, "what's wrong?" He gave a smile to hide himself from revealing too much, but Raven saw right through it. "You…you're depressed." Beast Boy stifled out a gasp and then lowered his head, slowly nodding.
"Its so hard, Raven," he replied, tears beginning to well up in the corner of his eyes. She didn't hesitate. Somehow, she found herself lunging up the steps and giving her friend a tight embrace.
"I've been there too," she whispered in his ear, still holding the embrace. Beast Boy held her back, enjoying the feeling of someone caring for him, even if it was the one who caused him most of his grief. She let go of the green changeling and looked up at him with a slight smile. "I actually found out some things when you went for your run this morning. The team does know what you do for them, and ironically I am pretty dense to have missed it."
"It takes a toll on a guy," Beast Boy replied. "Over the years I always wondered if they noticed my efforts, and…if I did die, or left, would all my efforts have been worth it?" He looked past her and down the stairway. "I just don't know anymore."
"I do," Raven replied, placing her hand on his shoulder. "You know me pretty well, so this should come very unexpected of me…You're a good man, Garfield. You're selfless and honest, and someone that any team would kill for to have with them. You matter to Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, and yes, even me." She sighed and turned to head down the stairs. "Goddamn it," she muttered. "Robin was right; there is a lot more about you that I need to learn."
PEACE!