Levi finds his mind wandering a lot now.
Up here, on the surface, things are much simpler.
He doesn't have to worry about where his next meal comes from, or constantly looking over his shoulder for those people. But he stays on edge, on guard for them. The people who would steal the food you had earned with sweat blood and tears, and take it with a smile on their face. The people who would beat you up until you'd lay gasping on the dirty streets as they screamed insult after insult.
Levi doesn't have to worry about constantly cleaning, although he finds himself naturally drifting towards his broom in the corner every time it comes within sight. He has to catch himself from running his fingers over every surface he passes, an old habit to keep the layer of grime filling the stagnant air from taking over.
He doesn't have to worry anymore about finding a place to sleep, a place that no one would attack in the middle of the night. Or finding intoxicated men slumped in dirty corners of the streets he was sleeping in, the putrid smell of alcohol and body odor filling the air.
He thinks about a lot of things now, such as the shapes of the fluffy clouds in the sky, reminding him of a sweet he had stolen once as a child. Marshmallow, the word floats through his mind, as aimlessly as the clouds above him. He's about to ask Isabel and Furlan if they've ever tasted it, and stops himself as yet another old habit infiltrates his instincts, one that still hasn't left.
Damn it all.
Levi clenches his fists as he tries to push the memory away, let it roll off his shoulders like the drops of rain he'd been standing in the day before. There wasn't any rain in the underground. Until coming up to the surface, he'd spent his entire life without even having a shower. They'd all stared at him as if he were insane as he stood in the field the soldiers were training in, face up towards the sky as a freezing torrent of summer rain engulfed them. A few people advised him to come inside, but Levi ignored their distant voices, letting the rush of the water drown them out. As each drop landed on his skin, the cold water struck his nerves like a jolt of electricity, yet another natural phenomenon Levi hadn't experienced until standing in the rain. He wasn't sure if it was the cold of the rain or the power of the thunder, but his skin prickled with goosebumps, an invigorating sensation of which took his mind to a different place, a place where his friends and family were still alive…
Levi shakes his head and stands up, breathing out with a huff. It does no good to dwell on things you cannot change. He's on top of the roof to the survey corps headquarters, a place he has grown to frequent since arriving here. Being above, away from the dirt on the ground and thick sea of people is refreshing. It lets his mind wander, become filled with useless things. Useless but welcome things, thoughts that kept the hard ones away. Levi heads downstairs, ready to meet with the other soldiers for today's training session.
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Training goes like it always does.
Levi doesn't have to do much, having gained combat experience in the underground. He sits on the wall of the training court and watches for the most part, his ever-present scowl painted on his face like a mask. He notices that people are more afraid to approach him than before, be it from the grouchy air he emanates or the news of how he took down a group of titans solo, he's not sure. It doesn't matter anyway, Levi's fine with being alone right now. He tunes out the whispering, the rumors floating around, the mentions of his dead friends…
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The mess hall is almost completely full, the room brimming with conversation. The tables are all filled, except for the one Levi is sitting at. He sits alone, drinking his lavender tea while staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, letting his mind fill itself with aimless thoughts like the choice of wood used for beams in the ceiling and how it was cut against the grain. He's in a comfortable place right now, finding peace within these thoughts and then he's interrupted.
"Heeeey, Levi! How's it going? Thought I'd join you today for lunch!"
The annoyingly cheery voice pierces through Levi's skull, ruining his concentration and causing the beginnings of a headache. He sets his tea down and deepens his scowl as the greasy-looking soldier he'd encountered once before with Isabel and Furlan sits in front of him.
"Everyone says you're pretty awesome, I think they're right you know, I saw how you were with the ODM gear during training and WHOOA I knew you were something else!"
She laughs heartily, not waiting for Levi to reply. Maybe she doesn't expect a reply. Levi muses. Fair enough. Not that I feel like talking to someone this wild anyways. She seems to be the type of person to do all the talking, not listening to what anyone else would have to say.
"If you can really take down that many titans by yourself, I can only imagine what kind of major steps mankind can take for their revenge you know? I joined the survey corps to help defeat the titans, and whaddaya know, I lucked out to work alongside what everyone's saying is the best fighter in history! I really really hate titans, and I hear that you're kind of the same way, you see a few years ago…"
Levi stares at her, hoping she will go away. But she's like a mosquito, and she's not sucked enough blood out of her victim yet. Levi tunes out her voice, letting it buzz in his ears like the wings of a mosquito, and stares past her. He almost laughs to himself as she continues talking, not seeming to notice he's not paying attention. He's almost blown away by the one sided conversation, the superficial personality she seems to project. Levi's thoughts trickle over to musing about how shallow and frustrating this woman is, and how horrific her lack of self-awareness is. Should he call her out and embarrass her? Tell her how much no one cares about the unintelligent words she's sputtering? But he's pulled out of his daydream at a sudden change in her tone, a pause, as she waits for him to answer.
"I'm sorry about what happened to your friends. I can be your friend for now if you'd like?" She says softly, her eyes sparkling with hope and wonder. Levi briefly contemplates her motives, yet another habit garnered from the underground. Everyone always had a motive. Is she trying to get more tips out of him to become better with ODM gear as she had in their first interaction? Or does she genuinely care that he is alone right now? Either way, Levi isn't interested in her frustrating company so he gathers his things and gets up to leave.
"No." Is all he says, and he goes to leave the mess hall.
"Okay, Levi! See ya around!" She says with a huge smile, undeterred by his annoyance and Levi stares at her for a second before disappearing into the crowd, in disbelief at her strangeness.
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The survey corps goes on another expedition out of the walls.
Levi is put in a small group filled with fairly experienced soldiers. His group is in the middle of the formation, ready to be dispatched towards the flanked groups as assistance should there be a titan attack. They're there as back up.
Things go fairly smoothly, a few titan encounters scattered about but easily outrun. Levi is enjoying the heat of the sunlight on his neck, the feeling of clean air whipping about his face, the smell of the horse and grass surrounding them. He's absorbing the feeling of freedom and feeling slightly annoyed at the bugs around them when there's a black flare from the right flank.
"Let's go!" his team leader shouts, and they head over for backup.
The group on the right flank is being overpowered by a pair of titans, one an abnormal moving quickly and frighteningly through the horses. Levi sees blood on the ground, a dead horse smashed by the foot of one of the titans in the tall grass. Looking up from the carnage he sees the titan eating one of their comrades. This is why we need to stop the titans. We need to end the bloodshed and loss, the living in fear. This ends here!
Levi makes quick work of the abnormal titan, pieces of the half-eaten soldier littering the ground as the titan falls into a heap of steaming pieces throughout the grass. One of the other soldiers takes care of the second titan and Levi stands on the ground next to his horse as the sound of the steam hisses through the air. His eyes are locked onto a bloodied hand a few feet away nestled into the grass. Levi hears commotion over to his left and he looks up, tearing his gaze away from the hand to see the greasy haired soldier yelling.
"These stupid creatures! Why can't they all just die?" She yells. "I hate them! I hate them so damn much!"
Levi watches as she swings her leg back and kicks the head of one of the titans. He almost winces watching her foot make contact, imagining how much it probably hurts. But Levi is both mildly annoyed and mildly relieved when the titan's head bounces a few feet away and the woman stands there unscathed, panting heavily while staring at the head with a crazed look. What the fuck is wrong with her? Is she actually nuts? At least she didn't break her foot and compromise the mission. I have to say I never thought that airheads like this could make it into the military.
"Hange. We need to get going." One of the other soldiers on her team says, walking up to put a hand on her shoulder. "The longer we stay here, the more danger there is."
She's quiet for a second, a rare event for her, as her breathing slows down a little and the clenched fists at her sides relax some.
"Yeah. Let's go, Moblit." She says breathlessly, a strange sparkle in her eye. They both go to get back on their horses.
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Levi can't sleep.
Nothing unusual. He often finds himself unable to sleep.
He's sitting in his windowsill, staring out at the millions of stars above him in the dark night sky. He finds himself running his finger across the window panes, searching for a speck of dust to wipe away, and stops himself when he finds nothing. It's not dirty here. You don't need to keep cleaning. Levi pulls his hand away, setting it into his lap as if to put it in time out. The air in the room is stifling and he feels like he needs to get outside, get a fresh breath. He needs to sleep, but every time he closes his eyes, he's met with the vivid scene of Isabel's head rolling on the ground next to him like the titan's was today, a memory as fresh as the day it occurred. Levi gets out of the windowsill and sneaks out of his room, down the hall towards his favorite spot on the roof. He's on guard, cloaked in darkness, instincts on edge as if he were still in one of the dark alleyways of the underground. His breathing is controlled and quiet, trying to keep even the smallest sound of an inhale or exhale silent from the ears of others. Levi sneaks past the various rooms, watching for any signs of activity.
He finds one door open.
Walking past the open dark room, he can see moonlight flooding the soldier's bed and part of the floor. It's a disgusting unkempt mess. Levi frowns in disapproval, an image of a street in the underground coming to mind. He can't stand to be surrounded by trash any longer. Things are nice up here. They need to stay that way. He stops in front of the room, briefly wondering if he should go inside and straighten things up, but decides against it. He's on a mission, a silent one. No one is supposed to know he's awake, should he find himself in trouble.
He gets to the stairwell leading towards the roof, the stairwell to the lower levels adjacent to them. He sees a flicker of candlelight and grows curious.
Damn my empty mind. I don't have enough to keep it filled anymore. It's not my business. But I want to see who's down here breaking the rules. Maybe it'll give me an advantage. Maybe if I know who flouts the rules, I can use it against them. Find some gain.
Levi can't resist the temptation, and quietly travels down the stairs, the flickering yellow light becoming brighter as he descends. He comes to a hallway he's never been in before, and a candle is on the wall, illuminating the space around him. Levi looks around, trying to find the individual who lit this candle so late into the night. He walks a few feet towards an open doorway, peering in to find the source.
That greasy-haired, goggle-adorned soldier lay face down on a pile of papers in the middle of the room, snoring louder than anything he'd ever heard before. Levi quietly steps into the room to find a sort of lab, filled with books and various metal and glass tubes and wires, probes and needles. The table the soldier is laying on has a few books laid open on top of the papers, and Levi can see haphazard, disorganized scribbles littering the pristine pages. Her writing reflects her room, and her personality. Cluttered, in your face, and ridiculously unintelligent. He bristles at the sight of such disorganization but quickly pushes the feeling down, reminding himself yet again that he's not underground any longer.
Why's she down here so late? Is she even allowed to do this? He wonders, unsure if he should tattle or wake her up. Deciding it's none of his business, Levi turns to go, but not before catching a glance of what's on one of the papers. It's a detailed drawing of the titan head that she'd kicked earlier today, littered with mathematical symbols and lines surrounding it like a halo.
How bizarre. To put in so much effort into recreating the very thing she hates. What's her motive?
Shaking his head he leaves the room, entering the darkness of the night once more.
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Levi's alone in the mess hall again, at his usual table. He's early, so there aren't many soldiers here yet. He's hoping to get to the training fields early so he can procure his favorite spot. Levi likes that spot because he can see everything from there. He can watch if there are others trying to sneak up on him. He can see an attack before it comes. Stop it. You don't need to think like that anymore. At least not here, you don't. But Levi still finds comfort in continuing to do so. He thinks that it is beneficial, to a point, being so on guard when on a mission. He's vaguely aware that the greasy soldier, Hange, he corrects himself, isn't in the mess hall. He tells himself he notices she's not there because her presence demands attention, demands acknowledgement with her loud, ridiculous enthusiasm. But deep down his now idle mind is curious about what she was doing up so late last night. He eats his breakfast slowly, sipping his peppermint tea at longer intervals. Hange doesn't show up. Nevermind. She's not worth my time anyways.
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She's there during training, albeit a bit late, and Levi notices that she Commander Erwin greets her without a word of her tardiness, something that he's never seen occur with any of the other soldiers. To Levi's dismay, this further piques his interest and he's now finding himself determined to find out if she has special privileges. Why else would she be up so late if she didn't have privileges? No one else here seems to have the nerve to be defiant. But then again, she's not like the others. Freaking weird-ass four eyes.
Training goes by without much out of the ordinary. Levi is working with the same group he had been put with on the mission. Consistency, Erwin says. Learn each other's style, movements, techniques. That's how you find a flow, an advantage in the field.
Levi has already gotten used to the group he was with, and he easily is able to keep up with them. They seem to have some trouble learning his fighting style, so Levi slows down and works with them closely, trying to help them find their groove. He's briefly aware of Hange's group watching them, but ignores it.
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A few nights later, Levi can't sleep again. His mind is filled this time with the images of the dead soldier's hand lying in the grass, covered with blood. He feels the hot steam of the titans in his head, the smell of blood burning his nose almost as if he was there again.
With a sigh, he gets up and heads back towards his usual spot, wanting to breathe in the fresh night air, hoping it would wash out the smell of blood from his memory.
As it was the other night, Hange's door is open again, the clutter in her room even worse than before. Tch. Disgusting. Does she never clean up after herself? He quickly pushes the thoughts of her dirty room out of his mind in favor of curiosity. Is she back in that lab room tonight?
Padding silently through the halls, he finds the corridor with a candle lit once again and makes his way to the little room he had entered secretly before, peering in on yet another private moment of his comrade.
Tonight, she's sitting there awake, scribbling on a paper at the desk. She's intensely focused, glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose in lieu of the goggles Levi is used to seeing her in. he watches closely, trying to discern what she's focusing on. The table is still covered in papers scattered about, some having drifted to the floor, others crumpled up in little piles throughout the room. Levi resists the urge to come pick them up and throw them into their designated place. He feels his skin bristling as he resists, willing them to float themselves into the waste bin. Hange sighs quietly, scratching out vigorously what she's just written and crumbles up the paper, throwing it over towards where Levi is standing. It rolls over in front of him, stopping a few inches from his feet. Hange takes notice of his silent presence, and startles, her eyes going wide as she jumps in her seat. Levi almost does the same, but carefully controls his body, breathing a bit deeper and slower to calm it, finding himself satisfied that no one can ever seem to read him. They all seem to think he has no emotions other than anger and boredom. He likes it that way.
"Oh! Levi! You scared the daylights out of me!" Hange slaps the table with a laugh, leaning back to take a deep breath of relief as the adrenaline leaves her body. "What are you doing here?"
Levi looks at her face, the usual ditzy expression hanging onto it like a mask. It kind of reminds Levi of his own face. He briefly wonders if everyone seems to think she has no emotions other than craziness and extreme enthusiasm. He wonders if she likes it that way.
"What is this room?" He asks, dodging her question.
"Oh, this is the lab! It's where I conduct research into various scientific things." She laughs again and turns back towards the papers on her desk. "I've been working on an absolutely insane project to try and create light without using candles. You should see all the things I've come up with!"
Levi looks around at the disarray in the room. He acts like he's not listening to her, but deep down he's absorbing the words she's thrown at him. Why would she have access to a lab after curfew? What kind of project could such a ditz be working on that sounded so…revolutionary?
"This room is almost as disgusting as your bedroom." He blurts out, kicking the crumpled paper at his foot. He looks at Hange, the pair making eye contact. "And your hair."
Hange smiles and pats the top of her head.
"Ah, I probably do need to wash it again, huh, Levi? Sometimes I forget about those things. I can't stop thinking about all of the things I'm working on because it's such a distraction."
Levi sees a flicker of something in her eyes that he can't quite put his finger on. She turns back to her desk and scribbles a few things down, then puts her pencil down with an air of satisfaction.
"I'll have to start trying this next concept out for my new light source. Maybe this will be the one!" She belts out. Her voice is obnoxiously happy as usual. Levi takes a step forward.
"You're working on a project about a light source." He says, eyes flickering to the various mathematical symbols on the papers. He doesn't fail to take notice that some of the writing has gone off the edge onto the previously unmarred surface of the wooden table. He grits his teeth in disapproval.
"That's correct!" Hange says, looking at him, this time waiting for an answer instead of talking nonstop.
"Then why did you draw the titan head you kicked?" He inquires, wishing he had bitten his tongue as soon as the words floated past his lips. Now she'd know he had spied on her.
Hange's lip curls up on one side and Levi sees it twitch as she fights the grin back.
"Well, Levi. You see, I discovered something when I kicked that titan." She begins, and Levi can tell she's about to start gushing words as usual. But something is a bit different now. He notices that her face, the usual mask of enthusiasm and wildness has melted into something else. Her face is filled to the brim with passion and motivation, intellectual desire. Her voice is poised and drips with curiosity, intelligence lacing her words. "Titans are huge. They're filled with blood, muscle, and skeletal systems, correct?" She doesn't wait for his answer as usual. "So when I kicked that titan head, it should've hurt, you know? That thing was HUGE!"
Hange lifts her arms up to demonstrate the size of the head, her eyes glittering in the dim candlelight.
"But it went flying. It bounced as if it were nothing more than a ball filled with air."
Levi thinks back to the day, the memory of her kicking the head running through his mind's eye. He'd been relieved she didn't hurt herself, that's what he was concerned with. Compromising the mission. But Hange had seen something different in the situation, something that no one else had picked up on. Levi could see that now. He was seeing a new side of this airheaded soldier. A side that maybe wasn't filled with air after all.
"It made me wonder. What are the titans made of? If we can figure that out, can that help us fight them? They only have one weak spot that we know of and it takes an extremely hard and sharp blade to destroy it. If we know what composition their bodies are maybe we can create new weapons, new ways to break them down."
She pauses for a moment, looking down, deep in thought.
"I'd always let hatred fuel my desire for learning about the titans. But now I'm brimming with curiosity. I want to know them, understand them. Physically, they're very similar to people. Do they feel pain? Fear? Where do they come from? What makes them tick?"
"You're going to find this out?" Levi asks, feeling a pull of intrigue into what was going on in this scientist's head.
"You bet I am! Hey, maybe you can help me! You're stronger than anyone else, maybe you can help me capture a titan so I can experiment on it?" She asks, her voice slightly less annoying to Levi than before, yet still filled with the ridiculous enthusiasm as usual.
"Maybe. But first you'll need to wash your hair." Levi grumbles fairly lightheartedly, and is faintly pleased to have garnered a laugh out of Hange. She salutes him jokingly.
"Roger that, soldier!"
Levi sits with her for a while as she explains her titan head drawing, decoding the mathematical symbols written around it for him. When he goes back to his room, finally ready to get some sleep, his mind is filled with something other than useless or horrifying thoughts. He's now turning over new thoughts about how Hange might not be a crazy, unintelligent soldier. Maybe she's actually smart. And maybe she's onto something no one else had ever seen before.
Levi lays down in his bed, moonlight illuminating his face as he closes his eyes. He sees things in the survey corps a little differently now, as Hange saw in the titans. Maybe things aren't dull up here.
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