AN: I know, I know. You're supposed to be receiving gifts on your birthday, not giving them. But guess what? It's my birthday so I can do what I want and that means if I want to write a nice one-shot/semi prequal to You Can Expect the Unexpected, But Not This then that's what I am am going to do. And since I know we're all starved for AceLu content I figured I'd go ahead and post it. Enjoy!

Ace was still ten the first time he felt it. He'd never experienced that feeling, one which he couldn't identify. He'd first noticed it sometime after that terrible incident when Luffy almost got killed by that bear, all thanks to his stupid mistake no less. That had been the start of several major changes in his life. For one thing, he realized that he absolutely could not lose Luffy. There would be no point to living in a world without the younger one in it. This brought about the other change that he'd have to make. Sabo is gone now. It still hurt, yeah, but he'd accepted that his best friend was dea- not coming back. Yes, Sabo was never coming back. The blond had been the nice one, the rational and calmer one. He had been the one who mediated his and Luffy's fights and talked them out of sticky situations.

And now he is gone.

Which meant that Ace would need to step up, take his position of older brother more seriously. The task of protecting Luffy was solely his responsibility now. There was no one there to prevent his mistakes and talk him out of some of his less-than-brilliant ideas. That was up to him… whether he was ready for it or not. He had to be a better brother now. Ace had watched over Luffy's injured and unconscious form as the boy fought to stay alive after receiving such grievous injuries, knowing that it was his fault this had happened, and vowing that he would never allow this situation to occur again.

It was difficult to adjust to this new setup, well at first anyway. He still wasn't used to being so gentle and considerate and Luffy was just so weak- no. Not weak. The boy was younger than him, and yeah he might be more emotional than Ace would have liked, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still strong enough to survive. He'd been able to keep up with him and Sabo for the most part, and Ace would even go as far as to say that Luffy was even improving. He was definitely stronger than he'd been when they'd first met each other. It was with this thought in mind that Ace made a pretty unfortunate decision that could have ended terribly.

Several weeks after the boy had finished healing, Ace had finally relented and allowed the younger to talk him into hunting and taking down one of the huge predators again. Their teamwork had been stunning, both of them attacking and dodging in harmony, knowing one another's moves by heart, each move was coordinated and executed flawlessly. They both stubbornly ignored the space they still left between them, the perfect amount for a third to join in. It just didn't feel right to close the gap that they'd automatically put there.

It was this sentimental action that would almost lead to disaster.

The bear swiped at Luffy's side, the boy completely unguarded as he tried to regain his footing after the previous dodge. When there had been three of them, they would work together as a flawless system, one recovering, one to guard them, and the last one continuing the attack. Ace had moved in quickly to further the assault after Luffy's attack, but the bear never switched its focus to him. With no one to take up the guard position, that left the younger boy wide open.

Time seemed to slow as those huge, viciously sharp claws continued on their path towards Luffy's vulnerable side, and Ace could see Luffy's eyes widen in absolute terror as they came closer and closer to his body. Ace was too far away- he wouldn't get there in time- Luffy would be-!

No.

He couldn't live in a world without Luffy.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

Ace's yell shook the air itself, the wind halted in its tracks and every living being within the jungle felt a chill run down their backs as a crushing pressure swept over them for a split second. The bear stood no chance, being so close to the source of this commanding presence. The creature stumbled to the ground and started shaking, frantic animal instincts telling it to submit to the predator nearby, in hopes that it would spare it. The poor thing's prayers would go unanswered and completely ignored as seconds later Ace reached the beast, slamming his pipe down as hard as he could on the top of its head. At the same time, Luffy had finally caught himself and quickly pivoted, swinging his own metal weapon into the side of the bear's face.

It was a quick death.

The freckled youth's chest heaved, his panicked heart only now starting to calm. He panted as he hunched over, gripping his knees as he tried to catch his breath from the sudden rush he'd just felt. Ace quickly looked to the side where Luffy had just collapsed into his back. The younger one was breathing hard as well. The boy seemed to forget his exhaustion as he caught his brother looking in his direction. "That… was… AWESOME! Shishishi!"

Ace groaned at the other's lack of self-preservation. Did he even realize how worried he had made the older one? "You can't just… laugh after you… almost died!"

Luffy just grinned and pumped his fists into the air above him. "But Ace! We did it!"

"Yeah," he couldn't stop the smirk from forming on his lips. "We did, didn't we?"

The rubber boy rolled over onto his stomach, pushing himself up with his arms. He gazed at Ace with clear awe, curiosity evident. "How did you scare the bear? You weren't near us, and you can't stretch!"

"I- I don't know. I just- you were going to-" Ace stuttered under the onslaught of that wide and honest gaze. He felt a small blush grow on his cheeks. "I needed to save you, it just happened!" Geez, this is embarrassing.

Luffy's stare was filled with pure admiration, his eyes practically sparkling. "SO COOL! Ace has a mystery power! Ace is so amazing!"

Ace felt his breath catch, a sudden wave of affection washing over him. He scoffed and tore his eyes away from Luffy, focusing on a tree with a stubborn determination. That damn blush just continued to creep across his face. There was an odd feeling in his chest, kind of similar to the sensation of sunlight creeping across your skin, enveloping you in its heated golden glow. The strange warmth spread from his chest outward, rushing throughout his whole body and filling his entire being with this new feeling.

"Whatever. Let's just get this thing back to the tree house. It's almost dinner time."

"YOSH! Food!"

Luffy jumped to his feet and rushed over to where his future meal was laying. He grabbed onto one of its legs, and began dragging it towards the direction their base was in. With the rubber boy sufficiently distracted, Ace allowed himself to drop his 'tough' act. He moved his hand up to his chest, resting it above his ribcage. He didn't understand it. The danger was over… so why was his heart racing again?

[He wished Sabo were still here, he'd know what was wrong with Ace.]

Things just kept getting weirder after that.

The odd feeling just kept popping up. The next time he recalled it happening was during a chaotic moment, several months after the first occasion, though Ace was eleven now. The situation started normally enough, Luffy and Ace having dipped into a bar in the hopes of pickpocketing some drunken morons. Of course, Ace just couldn't help himself, so he went ahead and asked one of the men the question that had haunted him his entire life.

The answer was expected.

"HA! If the Pirate King has a son, then he deserves to swing from the gallows! Send that devil's spawn back to hell where it belongs-"

What happened next, was not.

The man's body was sent over the bar, flying into the shelves filled with a wide collection of alcohol. The bottles tumbled to the floor, the force having broken the supports keeping the rack in place. They shattered, causing a cascade of rainbow shards to spread and litter across the ground. The sound of breaking glass silenced all noise in the bar, soon becoming deafening in the now still air. The smell of the now wasted alcohol became absolutely suffocating as the wood beneath their feet became absolutely soaked with the stuff, a few unlucky souls standing too close were drenched as well.

Such a violent act rendered the entire tavern speechless, the atmosphere effectively disrupted and ruined. It shifted to something much heavier, everyone weary and prepared for a fight to break out, reaching for their weapons. Ace absentmindedly noted all of this, but he didn't care enough to focus on any of it, he was too busy gaping. All of his attention was focused on the sight in front of him, which he could still barely believe had happened.

He'd never seen that expression on Luffy's face before.

Sure, he'd seen the other boy get angry, hell he was usually the cause of it, but this? This was different. Brows furrowed, eyes wide and sharp, lips pulled back in a snarl with his teeth bared like some kind of wild beast. His arm was still outstretched from the devastating punch that he had just delivered, fists clenched tight. Luffy looked enraged.

The air crackled as if it were screaming 'DANGER!'

Ace quickly snapped out of his shock as he noticed some of the more sketchy patrons of the bar reaching for their weapons. He lunged forward, snatching the back of Luffy's shirt and headed towards the door as fast as he could, pulling the other along. The rubber man seemed to get the memo because he stopped dragging his feet and started to aid in their escape. Ace released the boy's shirt but quickly grasped the boy's hand, not trusting the other to not get lost or do something stupid.

Even with his mind still in a haze, stuck somewhere between disbelief, shock, and… gratitude, Ace still managed to lead them through the streets, darting down alleyways and ducking between passer-byers. He brought them to a halt in a narrow gap between two buildings, where the two finally were able to catch their breaths.

"What… the hell…" He panted, "were you thinking, Luffy!?"

The other didn't seem to care that he'd just almost gotten them stuck in a massive bar fight against a bunch of vicious criminals in a particularly seedy pub. The rubber boy just huffed angrily. "He was saying bad things about Ace!"

"Yeah, people do that. But you didn't have to launch him-" He was interrupted, Luffy shaking his head forcefully.

"No one can say that! Ace is the best!"

It was flattering to hear him say that, but that wasn't the point! "You don't get to attack everyone who says something bad about me! They're right anyways, I'm the devil's son-"

"SHUT UP! Not even Ace gets to say bad things about himself! I'll punch anyone who does! Those words hurt Ace!"

The freckled youth tried to ignore how flustered he felt, and resolutely ignored just how true he knew that last part to be. "Idiot, I don't need protection! I'm not that weak! I don't care if other people hate me! I'm perfectly fine!"

Luffy just looked at him, eyes deep and knowing. He felt like he had somehow saddened the other, and he wanted so desperately to fix that."...Ace doesn't love himself very much."

His breath hitched.

It was terrifying, really. Just how well Luffy could read him, and how easy it was for the younger to break straight through all his walls in an instant. He didn't even have time to deny that statement, much less acknowledge how much that had stung him, before the other looked at him with so much warmth that it rivaled the sun.

"But I do, I love Ace! I don't care about who your dad is! Ace is perfect!" He was quickly engulfed in a hug.

It felt so good. This wave of- of- heat that bloomed from within his chest and spread outward. The fluttery feeling in his stomach felt pleasant, as opposed to the awkward discomfort one might expect. It radiated in every part of his being, filling him from head to toe. It was utterly intoxicating, just like the one who had caused it. It made him forget, for just a minute, how much pain those words had caused.

He didn't deserve it. How could someone with demon blood in his veins be the subject of such devotion? It was incredibly selfish of him, and he knew it, to want to keep Luffy all to himself, but he would never let the other go. Being hated by the whole world hurt, but knowing that Luffy loved him lessened the pain. What did it matter anyways, what everyone else thought? Luffy was his world, and as he felt the other's arms tighten around him, he could believe that the other loved him just as unconditionally. He returned the hug, his only thought being that the rest of the world could go to hell. He didn't care, because they had each other, and that was all they needed.

The weird feeling persisted.

"Give up yet?!"

"Never!"

It was a pretty typical moment for the two brothers, some argument that they couldn't even recall the subject of had gotten heated, and the next thing they knew their squabble had turned into a wrestling match. It came as no surprise that Ace managed to pin Luffy beneath him, though he was willing to admit (but only to himself, okay dammit?!) that the younger one had indeed improved over the years. He actually had to focus on their fight to overpower the boy.

Now despite having known Luffy for quite some time now, Ace still found himself being surprised at the full capability of the boy's rubber abilities. Granted, the other male did have a knack for the unexpected and bizarre uses of his devil fruit powers, and though he was loath to concede to the point, he will agree that Luffy had turned a seemingly useless skill into an effective tool. Indeed, Monkey D. Luffy's greatest strength lies within his unorthodox thoughts and actions which made him incredibly unpredictable.

Which is why he didn't expect the sudden flutter of rubber fingers dancing across his sides. He felt laughter bubble out of him unwillingly, his grip on the other male loosening as he spasmed from the relentless tickling. He rolled off of the younger boy, collapsing on his side in the grass next to Luffy. He went to glare at the other, but was quickly distracted by the other's laughter.

The sound was one of the best things Ace had ever heard, better than any type of music. The younger one looked so happy, it was really nice, and it made Ace feel better just by seeing it. It was like watching the sunset paint the sky and waves as it slowly sank below the horizon of the ocean, capturing you in all its glory as you realized how perfect and wonderful the sight was- like a moment from a fantastic dream.

That was it. Luffy's laughter was dreams and sunlight, which made sense because the boy himself was like the sun to Ace. His entire world revolved around the other in that moment. Everything was warm and bright and- and-

Beautiful.

Ace wished this moment would never end.

Unfortunately for him, Luffy's giggles slowly tapered off, occasionally bubbling up again before it finally dispersed. The younger finally looked over at the older, grin easy and eyes full of mirth. Ace couldn't look away. He couldn't even guess what his face looked like right now, but given how Luffy's eyes slowly lost their glitter and he tilted his head to the side in confusion, it must have been quite an expression.

"Ace? What is it?" The genuine curiosity and interest in the other's tone had Ace's feelings singing. The other really cared for him, didn't he?

"You're amazing, Lu."

Well. That was unexpected. For both of them, actually. Ace definitely hadn't meant to say that when he'd opened his mouth and judging from the astonished look on Luffy's face it was certainly a surprise to hear him say it. The freckled youth was too mortified and busy screaming inside his own head to notice the faint, barely-there glow on Luffy's cheeks. The younger was silent for a few seconds, seemingly absorbing this information, still looking stunned. Finally, another emotion won out, evident by his suddenly concerned expression. "Did I hit you too hard?"

"Wha-what the heck are you talking about?!" Honestly, he hadn't meant to splutter, but really, where did that come from? The other's thought process was so confusing.

"Ace is being weird." The rubber boy looked worried now.

"Hey! I'm trying to be nice, you jerk!"

Even more bewilderment from the straw-hat wearer. "But Ace isn't nice!"

"What was that?" He could feel his eye twitch. How the hell was that not supposed to be offensive?!

Luffy, the absolute ass that he was, just grinned in a pleased manner. "Shishishi! See? That's normal! Mean and angry!"

That's it. He's going to kill him.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M MAD, YOU IDIOT!"

And their scuffle began all over again.

It got stronger as time went on.

"Then the parrot said, 'No, you're a parrot!' but I'm not so he was stupid, so I said-"

Ace hummed, listening without quite processing the words. Luffy had been chattering on about what he'd done while Ace was down in Foosha for one of his 'manners lessons' with Makino. Something about a bright green bird and a beehive? He had lost track of the other's story after the first ten minutes. For the last twenty, he'd just been half listening to the words, focusing more on the other's happy tone of voice and his energetic movements.

They were looking for a good place to set up camp so they could cook their dinner, walking around in the jungle. Mid-sentence, Luffy jumped onto a fallen tree trunk, wavering slightly before he managed to hold himself steady. "So, I knew Mr. Parrot needed help and I figured that the bees could-" Ace had no idea what was happening in the story, but Luffy sounded proud of whatever idea he'd come up with earlier.

"Uh-huh."

Ace had slowed down, matching the other's unsteady pace as the rubber man tried to walk on the unstable tree. He kept a close eye on the other and took a small step to the side so he could be nearer to Luffy, just in case.

Sure enough, the younger male started wobbling something fierce, instinctively windmilling his arms to try to regain his balance. Ace didn't even think about it, he just lifted his arm and offered his hand to the boy. Luffy quickly grabbed onto it, clasping onto his hand quickly. The little bit of extra support allowed the smaller raven to stabilize his footing again. Luffy let out a relieved sigh, before flashing a wide smile at Ace. "Thanks!"

"Yeah, anytime."

Luffy continued telling his story, all while using their connected hands as an anchor to balance himself. Ace couldn't help but focus on their point of contact. 'Have his hands always been this warm and soft?' He could feel every little muscle twitch in the other's fingers, the pressure occasionally increasing when he gripped harder when he started to fall again. The small details that he'd never cared to notice before were suddenly fascinating to him. Holding hands like this was actually… pleasant.

About a minute later, Luffy jumped off the log, landing easily on the ground and steadily resuming their previous walking speed. Ace knew that he no longer needed to hold Luffy's hand, but he didn't really feel the need to let go. Not yet anyway. Luffy seemed to notice this too, as he gave a quick squeeze.

"Ace hasn't let go."

He resolutely stared ahead, trying to ignore the blush he could feel coming on. "No, I haven't." The older boy saw the other's expression out of the corner of his eye, the rubber boy's eyes fixed firmly on his face, curious and trying to figure out what was going on.

"Its not annoying?"

There was a sigh. "No, you're fine." They walked along in a comfortable silence, the type that exists between those who have said everything important that there is to say, and there was no need for words to fill the air. Just two people enjoying one another's presence as they allowed their thoughts to drift.

Sure, they had had these moments before, but Ace found that he enjoyed the tether between him and Luffy. He didn't feel like he was stuck alone with his thoughts, the way that people usually find themselves in quiet moments. No, the constant awareness of physical contact with another was a pleasant reminder that he wasn't alone and grounded him firmly in his surroundings. For once, he found himself actually taking everything in just for the sake of admiring it.

The plethora of vegetation washed their vision in green, but when one looked closer it became obvious that their environment was composed of many different shades and shapes. Each different plant added variety to the jungle, like a massive puzzle where no two pieces are the same, but they all connect into a much greater picture. Huh, when did he get good at poetry? He glanced at the shorter raven walking beside him. 'Luffy can make anything seem new and exciting,' he thought to himself.

"Does that mean we can hold hands more often?" He could feel the other's grip tighten in his enthusiasm. Ace couldn't help the small smile that found its way onto his lips, Luffy was practically buzzing with eagerness at the idea.

Ace rubbed the back of Luffy's hand. The way that his skin moved easily with his thumb, stretching and shifting effortlessly. It was unnaturally smooth and oddly enough the typical bony feeling that one would usually acknowledge subconsciously was less prominent. He supposed that that would have something to do with him being rubber, making his bones less stiff. "Sure, why not."

The smile that he got in return was blinding. Eventually, his brother remembered the story that he'd been telling, and resumed his fantastic description of it. Ace just listened pleasantly. Luffy continued to ride the high of this new development for their entire walk home. He would periodically squeeze Ace's hand, as if to remind himself that they were still connected. After a while, he'd started swinging their hands back and forth, matching the pace of their steps. A couple of times Luffy would see something interesting, and their connection would allow the boy to pull the older along with him so they could take a closer look. Ace just returned the occasional squeeze and continued to rub the back of Luffy's hand every so often. It felt nice… holding hands that is.

[Maybe he didn't mind these new feelings after all.]

Ace was twelve when he learned what was happening.

He'd been in Makino's bar, during one of their manner's lessons. Thankfully, he'd mastered the basics earlier, but he still made sure to come down at least once a month to learn something new. Society was a weird and complicated system, and there were still a lot of intricate little things that he didn't know. As it would just so happen, this particular session would be exceedingly enlightening for him.

It wasn't the manners' part though. They'd been working on being courteous to strangers, even those he did not intend to ever speak to again (which Ace still didn't get- why go out of your way to be nice to someone when you don't want to ever see them again?) but today's lesson focused instead on praising someone who he wanted to get to know. Makino had suggested he focus on what he could see during a first impression. Ace remembered the first time he met Makino, and how he'd noticed her outfit first. The mountain bandits never did wear dresses and skirts which the green-haired woman liked. He tried to compliment the barmaid on her outfit. It seemed to work, but he was confused by her high-pitched giggle. He'd never heard her make that sound before. It wasn't like her normal laugh.

"You did a fantastic job, Ace! That was very lovely! If you keep that up, you'll be charming young ladies left and right in no time!"

What the hell did girls have to do with being polite? "Charming young ladies?"

"Yes, it's very flattering to praise a girl's physical appearance and what she's wearing! It is a good way to let them know you're interested! After all, many girls do appreciate when boys compliment their looks."

"Interested in what?"

Makino paused, now looking at him more critically. She seemed to be considering something before her eyes widened in realization. "Oh! I suppose you wouldn't know… I'm guessing the bandits wouldn't have explained it to you yet. However, you are getting close to that age now. I'm sure you've already begun to experience some of the changes."

"That age? What changes? What are you talking about?"

Should he be scared?

"Do you know what puberty is, Ace?"

Okay, so maybe a little scared then.

"Oh, that thing that happens when you grow up. Sa-" He cut himself off abruptly. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he quickly shoved those feelings back down where they belonged. Now was not the time for that. "He told us about it. But what does that have to do with girls and manners?"

She gave him a gentle smile. "Why don't you go ahead and sit down?" He quickly took a seat across the table from her. "There are some things that you need to know about growing up, and puberty is one of them. You see, when young boys' brains and bodies develop, they'll begin to experience many different changes. This includes-"

…

...

Two hours.

Two. Long. Horrible. Hours.

It was the most awkward conversation Ace had ever had in his life.

Hair, hormones, growing, emotions, feelings, girls(?), and… urges. Even just thinking about it made him feel weird, like his skin was crawling and his soul was trying to leave his body.

Just…

No.

That wasn't even the worst part.

Sabo had told him that puberty was like a huge growth spurt that would make your child body grow into your adult body.

He wasn't necessarily wrong. He'd just never mentioned the important thing. Y'know. The reason for your body doing all that stuff? Yeah. That part. Apparently the whole puberty thing was how your body got ready to- to-

Reproduce.

Which brought him to his next crisis.

He'd already known that sex was a thing. How could he not? He was raised by mountain bandits for Oda's sake! He just hadn't known that that was how babies were made. From what he'd figured based on what he'd heard from the bandits, sex sounded like a good thing. Hell, some of the bandits were obsessed with it.

(Come to think of it, most of them talked about women.

...A lot.

Oh lord, that was why they liked them so much?!)

The idea that he'd ever want to do that with girls? He'd never been more disgusted in his life. Makino had assured him that his reaction was normal, and he'd grow into it, but Ace honestly didn't believe that. Girls were… weird. There was really no other way to describe it. No way in hell would he ever want to try to 'charm' a girl.

Oh yeah, the whole 'charming' thing.

Romance.

Love.

Attraction.

According to Makino, he'd be experiencing romantic attraction before the other thing. Which meant that he'd start wanting to date someone if he was attracted to them?! All Ace knew was that he was 100% sure that he'd never feel those feelings for anyone. Romance sounded like an absolute hassle. Giving your heart to someone? Valuing their happiness more than your own? Having such deep intimacy? He'd never let anyone get that close, nor would he want to get that close to anyone.

'Except Luffy, of course,' he thought to himself.

Luffy would always be his joy, the best thing in his life, with his smile and laugh and eyes and- he's getting off subject. The point was Luffy was the best thing Ace could ever hope to ask for. So no, if he were ever to love someone enough to deal with all that crap, it would be Luffy. After all, they were both the most important person in the world to one another, doing everything together. They practically knew the other better than they knew themselves at this point. They were as close as could be.

Well actually, now that he thought about it, according to Makino there was a whole other level of closeness that he had never considered. The whole… sex thing, he shuddered, sounded disgusting, frankly, but the other stuff didn't sound… awful?

'I mean, Luffy and I already do a lot of that stuff together. And it's pretty nice.'

They held hands, shared a bed, snuggled together (though apparently there was a difference between that and cuddling?) and they loved each other, they knew that. They spent so much time together and absolutely adored the other. Hell, they even kissed, and that was fine! Though Makino said that that type of kissing was all platonic.

Kissing kissing (or as he preferred to call it: sucking face) was still weird. He briefly considered the thought. Pressing your mouth against someone else's sounded like it would be awkward, not some great bonding moment like Makino made it out to be.

...He'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious though.

Ace wondered what it would feel like to kiss Luffy. Probably much different from kissing someone else, with him being made of rubber and all. Others might think that his lips would be soft and sweet, but Ace knew from the few times Luffy had successfully kissed him on the cheek as a show of affection that they're squishy, and warm. What would that texture feel like on his own lips? He probably wouldn't even be able to focus on the texture. Luffy would be way too enthusiastic, probably ruining the whole thing by babbling about how happy he was and be so excited that he'd just keep going back for more, it would get wet and messy, and they'd be sharing the same air when they finally had to take a break just to breathe, gazing into one another's eyes before doing it all over again, pressing closer and closer, holding each other so tight and never wanting to let go-

Oh.

…

Oh.

…

He was interested in Luffy romantically, wasn't he?

…

…

…

Fuck.

The realization haunted him all day.

When Ace returned to the tree house that night, nothing and everything had changed. Luffy had thrown himself at Ace to hug him, like usual. Ace felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, which had been pretty normal as of late, but now that he knew what this feeling was? He wanted to run as far away as he possibly could.

[He wanted to stay here, with Luffy's arms around him forever.]

But Luffy had been so excited to hear about his day, and though he'd kept pestering him for details, he didn't get mad when Ace refused to tell him what had happened. They had gone out and hunted dinner, like they always do. Nothing unusual happened, they tracked the prey, fought it, beat it, and then dragged it back to cook. They ate their inhuman sized portions and stayed up chatting about anything and everything until Luffy fell asleep, curled up beside Ace like he did every night. And Ace?

Ace was wide awake.

Screaming internally.

For several hours.

What was he supposed to do?! He sure as hell didn't know! It wasn't like there was a protocol for what you should do when you realize that you might have romantic feelings for your little brother!

Oh god. He was going to be sick.

How did this even happen?

No, that is a dumb question. He knew how it happened. Looking back on it now, it was obvious. There were so many different moments where it was apparent that his feelings had been changing, all those times where he'd felt that warmth grow and grow- until it consumed him completely. No, it was easy to fall for Luffy.

How could he have not?

[He wondered what Sabo would think if he were still here. Would the other boy be disappointed? Disgusted? Make a joke? He wished he knew.]

But as the hours of night slipped by, he had made a resolution for himself.

It. Didn't. Matter.

He shouldn't- couldn't- wouldn't do anything about it. He was going to be a good older brother. It didn't matter that he wanted Luffy more than the younger one wanted him. He'd take what he could get. There was no point in being greedy, and he refused to ruin what they already had. He loved Luffy, and he would continue to do so. The shape or form of that love didn't matter, as long as he could be with Luffy, he would be happy with that.

Luffy wanted to be brothers, so brothers they would be.

He could ignore these feelings. They'd have to go away eventually.

[It hurt so much. Fighting it was so tiring.]

So he would keep his secret close to his chest, only allowing himself his small moments, the dreams that came to him at night, the truth and the warm feeling in his chest. The moon was his only witness as he carefully wrapped his arms around Luffy, and pulled the sleeping boy to him. He gently pressed his lips to the younger's forehead, and whispered in a voice quieter than the wind, "I love you."

[It feels right.]

It was close enough.

It had to be.

[It wasn't.]