Chapter 1

My next shudder had nothing to do with cold.

Victoria was still out there. Hunting me like an animal.

I shuddered again. Jacob noticed and cranked up the heat.

The ride home was a quiet one. When we finally pulled into my driveway we both got out and walked up to my door in silence. I pulled out my keys and fiddled with them in silence as I said my next words.

"Please...just, be careful Jake." My voice broke on the last word.

"Hey. Bella. Look at me," he said putting one big overly warm hand under my chin and tilting it up.

"I'll be fine. Promise."

Tears stung my eyes but I wiped them away.

He pulled me into a big hug.

"Crushing me, Jake," I squeaked out.

He let me go.

"I'll be careful," he said still seeing the look on my face.

I just nodded and focused on finding the right key. I found it, stuck it in the lock, and opened the door in one motion. Jake stood behind me, still shirtless.

It never ceased to amaze me that he wasn't cold I was shivering even now in a long sleeved shirt.

"I've got to go, I'm meeting Sam soon," he said.

I stepped inside, and he waved before jogging toward the woods, when he abruptly stopped and yelled back to me:

"And no more cliff diving without me! I don't have time to rescue you all the time with this bloodsucker on the loose!"

I gave him a watery smile and nodded before he turned back and ran headfirst into the woods.

I wasted no time in trudging upstairs and stripping my dirty clothes off and flinging them in my hamper before I climbed in the shower and stood under as hot of water as I could stand. Worry gnawed away at me for all of the wolves, but none more than Jake. What if Victoria came back and ambushed them? I imagined her leaping down from the trees onto Sam's back or Jake's and tearing at their fur covered flesh.

A few minutes later I got out and dried myself off feeling no better.

I went down to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water and a granola bar which I quickly carried back upstairs before stepping out of my towel and throwing on some sweatpants and an old T-shirt. I ate in silence and cringed when I swallowed. Everything hurt on the way down. I drained the whole glass of water before turning out the overhead light and climbing under the covers. I was exhausted, breathing still hurt and my throat ached terribly. I fell quickly into a restless sleep.

There was fire! Fire everywhere. Surrounding me. Burning down four walls of a rectangular room. I coughed choking on the billowing smoke before realizing where I was. It was the ballet studio. An evil laugh echoed around the room before James stepped into view.

"Wouldn't you like to rethink you're last request?" he asked me.

Suddenly a blurred figure jumped over the flames and onto James' back. Pale arms wrapped around his neck and twisted until his head came off with a sickening crack. His head flew past me into the flames and caught fire immediately, and his body quickly followed. Then a pale hand reached out toward me. I grabbed hold and was quickly hefted into someone's arms and out the door, then I was outside. But I wasn't in Phoenix anymore. Now I was in La Push standing on the cliff. Again I jump. Again I am trapped under the water, but this time I fight it. I can't die like this! What about Charlie? Harry just died. I can't do this to Charlie! I struggle and kick but the water doesn't release me. I am pulled down deeper and deeper and now I can't hold my breath anymore. The last of my air escapes in bubbles that go up above my head, and my vision starts to go black as I try to take a breath and remember I can't. Suddenly something warm comes around me and I feel the water tug at me before my head breaks the surface. I choke on water and blink. My eyes don't focus together for a moment and I see fire on the water. Something hits me on the back repeatedly and I choke some more. Something warm is against my back now and when I crane my neck I realize it's Jacob.

"Bella! Are you alright?" he asks.

But all I see is the fire on the water. I've seen that color somewhere before.

"Why is the water burning?" I ask Jacob, my words slurred when they come out. My head hurts and my throat feels like someone rubbed it with sandpaper.

"What? Bella there's no fire," he says.

"Yes there is! Fire! On the water."

Jacob turns and Victoria pounces on him from behind, and flings him a few feet away, where he hits his head on large piece of driftwood and iknocked unconscious.

Victoria! I knew I'd seen that color before. In the clearing when I watched them play baseball. The brightest red I'd ever seen. But somehow her eyes are brighter. And they're boring into mine now, feral, and vengeful. I struggle to move as I cough up more seawater. Victoria crouches down, before pouncing towards me when all of the sudden a black haired figure shoots past me, knocking Victoria off course. Alice!

I jolt awake my feet tangled in my sheets and sweat clinging to my skin from the nightmare I've just endured. A cold breeze blows in from the window and cools my overheated skin.

Wait—why is my window open? I sit up quickly, but freeze just as quickly when I see something moving in the shadows of my bedroom. Someone steps out and I can hardly believe my eyes. Black hair framing her face in neat spikes, and some designer jacket draped around her tiny frame.

"Alice!"

I spring off the bed and fall into her stone arms.

"Bella?" her voice says in my ear, unsure.

"Alice," my voice breaks on her name and I feel all of the unshed tears from the last six months falling on my cheeks.

Alice pulls me to the bed and sits me down before disappearing and reappearing with a box of tissues in her hand. She sits down cross legged at the head of the bed watching as I loudly blow my nose and wipe at my eyes.

I struggle to ask the one question I don't want to.

"why..." I hiccup, "why are you..."

"I saw you jump off a cliff! I got on the first plane here. But...I never saw you come out of the water. How are you even alive, Bella? And how could you do that to Charlie?

I shake my head.

"I wasn't trying to...to kill myself, Alice."

She raises an eyebrow at me.

" I saw some of Jacob's friends cliff diving the other day. It looked fun," I shrug.

Why do you care anyway? Why does it matter? You're the one who left.

I bite my tongue to keep from saying anything but Alice must have seen me saying it because her face goes sad.

"You can go. Now that you know I'm not dead. I'm fine," I say, my voice has turned to steely now.

Alice's face turns somehow even sadder before speeding out the door. I curl up against the headboard with my head resting in my hands. I already regret sending her away. But I can't have her or any of them just waltz back into my life after what happened. After what he said. He made himself very clear that day in the woods and I've been picking up the pieces ever since. Still, it wasn't entirely her fault. I sit deliberating for several more minutes before the door suddenly opens. Alice walks in carrying a serving platter I recognize from my childhood that Renae picked out with a steaming bowl of something that smells wonderful. I don't have the energy to be mad at her. After all it's not her I'm mad at. Or at least, it's not all her.

"I thought I told you to go..." I say tiredly, tucking my legs up underneath me.

"You did," her voice chimes like quiet bells.

She sets down the platter on my bedside table before moving to stand at the end of my bed.

I cross my arms and eye the food for a moment. Then, I sigh before picking up the spoon and bowl. Soup. A large hunk of bread sits beside the soup as well as cheese. I tear off a bit of each and dip them in before taking a large bite. It's wonderful.

"Mmmm..." I sigh as I take another large bite. Charlie never cooks, there's something nice about having someone else cook for once.

"Esme's been cooking a lot these days, sometimes I join her," she shrugs, her face still sad.

I finish the bowl in a few more bites before setting it down on my bedside table. I sigh.

"I don't really want you to go, Alice," I say haltingly.

"but...I don't understand why you would come back from...wherever, just to see if I was alright. You left. You all did. Why...why does my life suddenly matter to you now?" I bring my knees up and rest my arms on them and let my hair hide my face. I can't meet her eyes.

The bed jolts briefly when Alice sits down next to me but I still don't dare look up.

"Bella," she says quietly.

I stare at the wall picking out patterns in the old paint trying my best to ignore her pleading.

"Bella," Alice says again.

This time I can't ignore her.

I glance briefly into her black eyes, realizing, for the first time how dark they are.

"Do you need to...?" I trail off,

"Not yet. when we're done talking I'll go." she says.

No. Not yet. She just got here. She must register the panic in my eyes because she immediately amends,

"I'll come back after I've gone hunting you're not getting rid of me so easily, Bella."

I nod.

"I left...out of love for Edward." I cringe at his name, a phantom bit of the pain in my torso where I know the hole lurks, but Alice doesn't react, perhaps she didn't notice. " And...respect for Carlisle. I knew what would happen, and I've regretted it so many times since then." she lets out a breath. "I'm so sorry, Bella,"she pauses for a moment. "I know it doesn't make anything better but the whole family hasn't been the same since we left you. Carlisle's thrown himself into his work more than ever before. Esme's been cooking all the time. (She misses you.) My brother's been in South America," she pauses, (so she did notice) "Tracking. He checks in sometimes. Rose and Emmet have been gone too."

"But...Rosalie never liked me. Why does she care? I would think she would be thrilled I was gone."

Alice grimaces. "It wasn't really about liking you. She didn't approve of you knowing about us. She thought it was dangerous and well...other reasons," Alice trails off for a moment. "And anyway, it wasn't about her it was about Emmet. He...he considered you a friend if not a sister."

A sister. My once longed for future floats before me now, nothing more than smoke. That all disappeared when he took me out in the woods that September day. So many days ago now. Alice seems to sense where my thoughts are because she suddenly says, "Bella."

Slowly I turn my eyes to her face and Alice reaches out her hand to me her cold fingers entwining through mine.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I should never have left even if the others did. Even if he wanted me to." Her eyes shine with tears that will never fall.

And suddenly I find myself saying "it's ok. It's not your fault, Alice." And I find that it's true. I don't blame her for his decisions. I know how they all sort of exist around him as if he is the sun. He was mine once too. My personal sun in this rainy little town. The corners of Alice's mouth turn up in a little smile, looking more like herself than she has since she's been here. Suddenly a wave of tiredness comes over me and I slump further down my headboard suddenly exhausted, keeping hold of Alice's hand, our fingers still entwined. I want to know she is really here, make sure she doesn't disappear again. My eyes flutter shut and I feel a blanket drift down over me before I fall asleep.

This idea had been banging around my brain for awhile so I finally started writing it a few months ago. However, my motivation sucks to finish it so please Rate and Review! I need motivation folks. LOL SMH

Anyway, if you actually read the first chapter then thank you!

I currently plan on updating once a month however I will do more if I get it written faster so it really just depends. *crosses fingers hoping they get more written faster*

Bye!