There were voices talking over each other, making Stiles' head hurt.
They just wouldn't shut up, no matter what Stiles tried.
They would haunt him, taunt him, tease and laugh, just going on and on, pounding against Stiles' skull.
It was like an annoying ache that made Stiles want to claw at his own head, tear the hair out and just claw through the skin and tissue there, break the bone and just scratch out all these annoying voices.
He just couldn't take it anymore, it was suffocating him.
He knew that they weren't real, that it was just another side effect to being a post vessel to Nogitsune. But they felt real, they were realistically annoying, driving Stiles mad.
He tried everything to get them to stop, he tried and tried and failed.
They just wouldn't stop, even when Stiles was on the verge of passing out from drowning, even when he was passing out from choking himself with a scarf while being alone in his bedroom, they wouldn't stop when he tried to scream over them, they wouldn't stop when he was laying on the ground sobbing, begging them to stop, to leave him alone, they just wouldn't stop.
Tonight was really bad, these voices were pushing Stiles even harder than usual, laughing about every wrong thing that he did along the day, just pushing and pushing and pushing. And Stiles couldn't take it anymore, he was just too tired.
He pushed open the loft door without any sound, slowly making his way across the loft, still making no sound, his feet bare.
He stopped next to Derek's bed, watching the sleeping werewolf stirring awake.
It took a couple seconds for Derek to fully wake up but once he blinked open his eyes and noticed Stiles, he sat up and turned on the bedside table lamp.
- Stiles, what…? - He let his words die down, taking in Stiles' look, his eyes widening.
- They wouldn't stop and I just couldn't take it anymore. I am so exhausted, Derek. I just… I just can't anymore… - Stiles sounded so broken that he couldn't recognize his own voice.
- Stiles, what did you do? Tell me what did you do. - Derek shuffled closer to Stiles, one hand extended as if approaching a wild animal, his movements careful.
- I just wanted them to stop. I am so exhausted. - Stiles breath out, already feeling calmer by being in Derek's presence.
- Stiles. Please tell me what you did. Please. - Derek's tone was urgent, he was almost there to touch Stiles, pausing as if unsure where to touch him, his eyes raking over Stiles' body.
Of course, Derek wouldn't want to touch him, Stiles was a mess. On top of his usual disheveled look, now he was wearing loose sweatpants that were hanging low on his hips from all the weight he had lost and a short sleeve shirt that was basically hanging off of him. Then there was blood trailing over his fingers, dropping to the ground with heavy droplets. Stiles couldn't even feel the blood's warmth anymore, couldn't even feel the sting of cuts over his wrists, only that his fingers were sticky and who would have thought that blood can be so damn sticky?
- I am so exhausted… - Stiles murmured and when Derek's hand finally landed on his shoulder, he let his body sag forward, fully leaning against Derek, pressing his cold face against Derek's neck, nuzzling into the warmth there.
He knew that his face must be wet, he distinctly remembered crying along the way, so his cheeks must still be wet from that but even if they were, then Derek didn't say anything, he only tightened his grip on Stiles, wrapping his arms fully around Stiles' ruined body, pulling him even closer.
And who was Stiles to resist, he was too tired and the voices were finally calming down, so he pulled his legs up, closer to his chest, snuggling deeper against Derek's warm body, resting his bloody hands against Derek's chest, just trying to drink up that warmth.
- Stiles? Stiles, you can't sleep. Please stay awake. You need to tell me what you did so I can help you. Stiles, Stiles, wake up. - Derek tried to keep his voice calm but was failing, Stiles still could hear the notes of worry there.
He only sighted and nuzzled more firmly against Derek's neck, chasing the warmth.
All of a sudden he was freezing so it was so pleasant to have warm Derek holding him, cradling him.
He let his eyes stay close, just enjoying the warmth.
Derek shook him back awake, forcing Stiles to open his eyes in small slits.
- Ambulance is on their way, Melissa will meet us in the hospital. She will let your dad know. Just please stay awake, you can't sleep, Stiles. Please don't sleep. - Derek still held Stiles in his arms but Stiles just felt so heavy that he couldn't even nuzzle back against Derek.
He closed his eyes again, feeling sleep clawing at him, feeling so tempted to just give in to it, it wouldn't be bad to finally sleep for a bit.
But there was Derek, shaking him awake, his fingers gripping Stiles' chin.
When Stiles blinked his eyes open he could see the burning blue of Derek's eyes pulling him in, forcing him to keep his eyes open.
- Did you take anything? Stiles, did you take anything? I can smell something but you need to tell me what it was. - Derek's hold on Stiles tightened for a bit.
Stiles may be a complete ass but something made him smile, like it just seems like the best idea to just smile all loopside up at Derek as if he knew some mischief that no one else could know.
- Sleepin' pills…? - Stiles could hear himself murmur as if in question, scowling at himself afterwards, his mind not fully understanding if he really was the one speaking or was he just imagining it.
- Stiles… - Derek's voice broke and it made Stiles furrow his brows, at least try to.
He leaned a bit more into Derek, placing a soft kiss against Derek's shoulder before closing his eyes, sleep calling him.
And finally the voices weren't so annoying, calming down and urging Stiles to just close his eyes, to just sleep and give it, telling him that it will be over soon enough, that this was for the best. That it was okay.
Okay.
But then Stiles could hear Derek sob, begging him to just stay awake, to stay with him and how could Stiles choose? How could he choose? He didn't know what to do. He was exhausted and sleep was so close but Derek was asking him to stay.
He needed to stay with Derek, he couldn't leave him. After all, Derek has already lost too much, Stiles couldn't make him lose something more.
He wanted to tell that to Derek, to open his eyes and look in these pure blue ones, smile and promise that he won't leave, that he will stay with Derek no matter what, that he has chosen to stay.
But sleep was too strong and his body too heavy, his mind too clouded and exhaustion too deep.
So he vowed a soft promise to himself, that he won't leave Derek, that he won't give up before letting sleep pull him under, exhaustion to win and his mind to shut down.
It will be okay.
It will.