Hey y'all! So, this is a one-shot set after The events of Falcon and Winter Soldier. I was surprised that Bucky didn't have any residual issues surrounding Steve's abandonment. Personally, if my life-long best friend who I continually risked my life for just up and left me for a partner who had ended up happily married with a wonderful niece (who said friend had made out with) I would definitely have some left over issues. The I realized that Bucky didn't really have much of a break between Endgame, his revenge era, and the events with the multitude of PTSD triggering super-soldiers. His mind wouldn't really have a second to think about how he felt. So, I fast-forwarded a few months to help poor Bucky deal with it! Thankfully, Sam is there to pull him back from the dark, dark caverns in his abused mind. Enjoy!

Sam knew something was bothering his partner the moment Bucky stopped making eye contact. He frequently mocked the metal armed man about his quote-on-quote 'staring problem', but the moment Bucky started avoiding his eyes Sam began to feel uncomfortable. It started subtly, with just a couple fewer staring contests, but by the end of the week, Bucky had almost completely stopped all eye contact whatsoever. Their partnership, which was usually seamless since their training, had been falling apart and Bucky had almost gotten himself killed on their last mission. He was fine now, thankfully having caught the bullet with his metal arm... inches away from his head.

Another issue was his sudden need to keep Sam in sights at all times. He'd been following Sam around like a lost dog for the last month, but recently it had gotten worse. He'd ended up crashing on the Wilson's couch for the last two days because it had gotten so severe. Under the guise of, helping around the house, Bucky had managed to always keep Sam within a body's length away. It was worrying to say the least, but he'd dealt with it. But the veteran's sudden desire to keep Sam around all the time was concerning and a bit inconvenient. Sam was struggling to balance a mundane life, his therapy business, and his traumatized friend. Bucky had made it a bit difficult, but Sam was dealing with it. Barely.

So, Sam had arranged for Bucky's therapist to meet him at a local coffeeshop to talk. He'd managed to convince Sarah to keep Bucky busy for a little while and told them all that he was meeting with a client. It had kept Bucky relaxed, mostly, and had kept Sarah from worrying too much. He entered the small building, glancing around and identifying the exits out of habit. His gaze scanned the crowd and he locked in on the woman sitting alone. He sighed and walked over to her, shaking her hand as she rose to greet him.

"Hey Doc," he sat slowly, feeling uncomfortable about going behind Bucky's back like this, "I know this is kind of weird but I just needed to talk to you about Bucky."

"Now Sam," she held up a hand to stop him, "you of all people should know about patient confidentiality."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Sam waved away her concern, "I just wanted to make sure he was... okay..."

She raised her eyebrow, "what happened to your previous statements about you two's partnership? I believe it was something along the lines of 'I couldn't care less about him or his staring problems'."

"So you've noticed too!" Sam sat up straighter, catching quickly onto the woman's statement, "he won't look anybody in the eyes, but he won't let me out of his sight either! It's annoying!"

"I thought him staring and being evasive was annoying," she pressed, slightly confused at the change, "what changed?"

"Because suddenly he's changing," Sam frowned, "but he's becoming almost... submissive...?" he shook his head, "that's not the right word... he almost seems depressed about something."

"Have you tried talking to him about it," she suggested, trying to steer away from the word and the confidential information she held, "he might open up to you. Remember, Sam, he is his own person. he might have been Winter Soldier, but he's also James Barnes. Try talking to him. Don't ignore who he was, but don't let that frame who he is," she glanced at her watch, "speaking of which, I have to go. Mandatory meeting with James and I'm going to be late," she sighed as she stood, "remember, Sam, talk to him."

Sam stood with her, shaking her hand, "thank you for meeting with me. I'll try what you've suggested."

She rolled her eyes as she left, "just talk to him," she muttered, "god, men are thick. Communication should not have to be suggested."

***Line Break***

Bucky stared at the floor as Dr. Raynor asked questions, stubbornly refusing to respond. He had too many things crowding his head right now to talk to her. He was only here because if he missed it, he'd be arrested. Again. He sighed as she said his name yet again, allowing his eyes to flick up towards her.

"What, Doc?" he asked, letting a bit of controlled irritation slip into his tone, "why am I here again? I don't need this."

"We've been through this, James," she sighed, her gaze cold but weirdly still inviting, "talk to me. Tell me what's going on with you. Don't think I haven't noticed your lack of eye contact. What's going on? Usually you won't look away from me, except maybe to roll your eyes."

"I just don't feel like looking at you," he shrugged, letting his eyes drop back down, "is that a problem?"

"It will be if the government hears about it," she chastised gently, "you know that they'll see it as you hiding something. Talk to me, James."

"About what," he scoffed, finally meeting her gaze with a stony glare, "what could I possibly have to talk about? Nothing's wrong. I'm perfectly fine."

"Uh huh," she was unconvinced and made it clear to him exactly how she felt about his avoidances, "have you talked to Sam about it?"

Bucky almost laughed at her, "why would I do that? Sam has his own stuff to deal with. He shouldn't have to deal with mine too. I'm not going to do that to him."

"James Buckhannon Barnes," she snapped, "who do you think you are to take that choice away from him?! If Sam chooses to ask you about it then he's choosing to listen. Do not presume to know more about his mind than he does. If he doesn't think he can handle it then he won't ask. But don't take away his right to choose."

"I..." Bucky glanced around frantically, feeling trapped. He glanced at the clock, his mind screaming in victory, "and look at that, our time's up. Time to go. Oh well," he stood and grabbed his jacket, ignoring her protests, "see ya 'round, Doc," he cast her a mock salute and a tight, humoring smile before exiting the office.

He had to force himself to not run through the woman's outer office to escape. He walked carefully and controlled through the pasty white hallways. His heart pounding in his head. His separation anxiety was kicking up another notch as he realized he had barely seen Sam all day. he hadn't realized that he'd had this trouble until Steve had left him in the dust. He punched his steering wheel, ignoring the broken piece now dangling. Damn Steve! After everything they'd been through together, everything they'd done to survive together. He'd pulled his stupid little stunt and gone back in time to live a life with Peggy. Without Bucky.

The Winter Soldier gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove, noting the crumbled object that he'd undoubtedly have to fix. He needed to see Sam right now. His only remaining connection to anything not in direct reference to Winter Soldier. He wished desperately he could call Shuri and ask for her help. Lately things had been resurfacing at an alarming rate and he was unsure of how to take it all in. He'd coped in Wakanda by talking to Steve on his visits but now... Steve had left him behind. The damn man who had been his anchor. His best friend for forever had swept the rug out from under his feet and left. He had barely even said goodbye. Bucky had known the moment that Steve hugged him goodbye, that his friend wasn't coming back. He'd wanted so horribly to fight. To convince Steve not to leave him. But he refused to be the reason that Steve didn't get his fairytale life.

But when his elderly friend had seemed perfectly content after a life without Bucky... He couldn't help but feel hurt. He had hoped for a greeting of some sort besides the crappy "hey Buck" that he'd been given. He pulled over and locked his car, deciding to run home instead of drive. He didn't want to show up at the house angry. It wouldn't be good for Sam's nephews to see him angry. And he refused to lose control around Sam's family. He took a calming breath and started to run. It took him about thirty minutes to reach the Wilson family home. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Sam and Sarah over by the boat. The sight of his friend relaxed him in some ways and made him more anxious in others. He couldn't help being terrified at the prospect of Sam leaving him. Thanks to Hydra, Steve, and the Wakandans all abandoning or giving up on him at some point, Bucky struggled with letting Sam out of his sight. He was paranoid that should Sam leave, he'd never come back. Bucky didn't think he'd survive if one more person left him.

***Line Break***

Sam looked up as he heard the boys shoot past him and Sarah. Bucky must be home. Sure enough, when he turned to look, the boys were running up to Bucky and tackle-hugging him to the ground. The man laughed as he wrestled gently with the boys; causing Sam to smile affectionately. Bucky was by far the closest friend he had, and it was comforting to know that his family cared for his friend as much as he did.

"Hey Sam," Bucky called in greeting as he disentangled himself from the boys, and made his way towards the two adults on the large porch, "hey Sarah."

"Hey Buck," Sam greeted, noting the lack of car and the ring of sweat around his friend's collar, "rough session?"

Bucky shrugged, suddenly seeming self-conscious, "eh, it was alright... what're you guys up to?"

"Sam and I were just talking about the fish fry we wanted to plan," Sarah explained, "want to help?"

"Uh..." Bucky paled a bit around the edges and Sam remembered him saying something about how people still made him nervous, "I... sure..."

"Thanks!" Sarah said brightly, crowding the kids inside to wash up for dinner, "dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."

"Thanks sis," Sam dropped a kiss on her cheek as she slipped past, leaving him and Bucky outside alone. He turned his attention on his suddenly nervous looking partner, "Buck, if that many people will make you nervous then it's okay to say no."

Bucky's head jerked up, "no, it's okay. I'd love to come. People still make me a little jumpy but..." he shook his head, dropping his gaze away from Sam's, "it'll be fine."

Sam frowned at his friend's submissive manner, "take a walk?" he offered, deciding he needed to snap his friend out of this funk he was in, "come on, I wanna go look at the boat."

Bucky nodded, agreeing to both and accompanying Sam to the dock, "how're you doing, man?"

"What?" Bucky sounded caught off guard, "what do you mean?"

"Well, you had a bit of a close call last mission," Sam diverted, chickening out slightly, "just checking in."

"Oh," Bucky's tone calmed a bit, "I'm fine. Was really just a scratch."

Sam shook his head, "Buck, you got thrown into a wall, man. That's not a scratch. You had a concussion."

"I don't know," his partner assured him, "I'm fine, really Sam."

"Well," Sam bit his lip nervously, "good," he hesitated before taking the dive, "look, Buck... What's going on with you lately?"

"How do you mean?" Bucky didn't look up, but his tone took a heavily guarded note, "I told you I'm fine, Sam."

"I didn't mean physically," Sam explained, "I meant up here," he reached over and tapped the side of Bucky's head, "you seem a bit off."

Bucky sighed miserably, "I'm just tired, I guess-"

"Don't give me that," Sam snapped, "you're not 'just tired'. You seem to forget that I've seen tired Bucky before and that isn't this."

"What's this?" Bucky mimicked, his tone turning defensive as his head snapped up in challenge.

Sam counted the momentary eye-contact as a victory, "this, Bucky, is you not looking at me. You haven't looked me in the eyes for over a minute in the past month, Buck. And you haven't looked anywhere but the ground for the last week. I'm worried, Bucky. You're not acting like yourself. You haven't willingly let me out of your sight for the past week straight. What's going on with you?"

Being worked up himself, Sam didn't notice the fear flickering across his friend's face until it was too late. He stammered as he tried to backtrack a bit, but Bucky backed up a step. Sam could see the tense set of his friend's shoulders and the quiver in his arms, metal and flesh. He bit his lip as he realized that somehow he'd messed up. Something he'd said, someway he'd acted. He'd messed something up. That was the exact opposite of what he'd meant to do. Dammit.

"I'm sorry," Bucky whispered, his hands shaking violently, making Sam feel worse than he already did.

Meanwhile, Bucky was beating himself up on the inside. He'd worried Sam. That was the exact opposite of his intentions. He had to fix this. He had to make this right before Sam left him too. He had to explain himself. He had to, "I didn't mean to... I... and then... but you... and Steve... and I..." he was making it worse. He couldn't even string three words together. It was like his words were stuck.

Sam cursed silently as he realized that this had something to do with Steve. Everything that had gone wrong lately seemed to have something to do with Steve. Literally everything. he took a deep breath before trying to settle things with Bucky. He needed them both to have a clear head about this. He grabbed Bucky's shoulders, wincing at the shudder that ran through them.

"Bucky," he said gently, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that. Just take a deep breath," he waited until Bucky had done as instructed, "and again," Bucky followed his instructions a little easier this time, "and tell me what's wrong."

"He left, Sam," Bucky finally whispered, "he left me behind. After everything we went through, everything we did... he just left," the soldier stared at the horizon line, not looking at his friend, "he left his best friend of a lifetime for a girl he'd known all of a year. I get that he loved Peggy, I really get that but... Things keep coming back, Sam. Memories. I keep seeing things we went through. Missions we went on with the Howling Commandos. Things we did before the war. And it doesn't make sense. Why he left. I just..." he wrapped his arms around his torso tightly, "he left me behind..."

Sam stared at Bucky as things clicked into place in his mind. Why Bucky had been so submissive lately. Why he'd been so jumpy. why he'd stuck so close. Everything suddenly made so much sense. Bucky was terrified of being left again.

"Buck," Sam started, only to be cut off by Bucky leaping up off the bench and backing away.

"I'm sorry," the man apologized, "I didn't mean to say all that. I... Let me just grab my stuff and I'll go-"

"No," Sam interrupted him, "James stop," he stepped in front of the other man to keep him from moving any further away, "you don't have to leave. I understand," he told his friend, "I completely understand."

Bucky stared at him in surprise, "you...what?"

Sam glanced towards the house, then back at his best friend, "I didn't leave Sarah's side for months after I lost Riley. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat unless she was right there. I was terrified of losing her too. The same thing happened when Steve left. Why do you think I kept texting you, even when you never replied. Bucky, I get it. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I'd known Riley as long as you knew Steve. And all those memories coming back now, after he was gone and couldn't help you process them. Bucky, I'm sorry he left, but remember, you're not alone in this. He left both of us. He left you and me together. I'm not going anywhere," he dropped his hand to Bucky's shoulder, "I'm not leaving you alone, Bucky."

Bucky stared at his hand, conflict rising in his eyes, "you... but..."

"Bucky, look at me," he snapped, making the other man meet his gaze, "I'm with you past the end of the line," Sam reassured his friend, seeing the solidarity settle in Bucky's gaze as he heard the tweaked but familiar statement, "with you and Steve... there was always an understood end of the line. There's no end of the line for us, man. I'll be there to annoy you until aliens take over and the worlds ends. Then I'll come back and annoy you in the next life."

Bucky laughed weakly, "as a ghost?"

Sam mirrored his laugh, dropping his arm around his friend's shoulders, "of course, man. I can't let you get bored in the afterlife."

Bucky chuckled, leaning slightly into Sam's arm, "I guess..." he sighed a bit, "I always knew that there was an end of the line I just..."

"Thought you'd reach it at the same time?" Sam guessed when Bucky didn't finish, "it was the same with me and Riley, man. We figured that if we didn't live into gray hair and dentures then we'd at least go down in twin balls of flaming glory. But," he shrugged and squeezed Bucky's arm tighter, "I lost one battle-buddy and gained another so..."

"I guess I'm better off," Bucky smiled weakly.

Sam opened his mouth to respond but was cut off as Sarah announced dinner, "let's go get some food, Buck," Sam didn't remove his arm from around his friend as they walked towards the house.

Bucky hesitated for a moment at the door, "hey Sam?"

"Yeah," Sam glanced over at his friend, relieved to see the bright blue eyes staring back at him.

"Thanks," Bucky smiled softly, "for staying, I mean."

Sam slowly unwrapped his arm and punched his friend in the arm playfully, dispelling any remaining tension, "duh. Now, let's go eat! Sarah made fried chicken! I'm starved and want food," he held the door open for Bucky and smiled broadly as the man raised his eyebrow, "what?"

"Suddenly you're a gentleman," the man smirked, "I should spill my guts to you more often if it means I'll get waited on hand and foot."

Sam rolled his eyes, stepping into the house and dropping the door in Bucky's face, "moment over, cyborg."

He grinned a Bucky laughed heartily, opening the door and punching him in the arm. Lightly, of course. Sam walked slightly behind Bucky, noting that only a few glances were shot his way as they made it to the table. Healing wouldn't be immediate, obviously. Steve had left a lot of holes in both Bucky and Sam when he left them behind. But, with time, they would heal. Besides, they could always go visit and mock Steve in the nursing home.

Hope y'all enjoyed the story! Please keep in mind that I am not a therapist but I was given that advice by my mom. If someone asks you what's wrong then they're choosing to listen to your answer. It's not your decision to make for them. It really changed how I looked at sharing my problems with friends.

Anyways, I love Bucky's therapist but Sam and Bucky's therapy/friendship moments make me happy! So, here y'all go! I really hope y'all liked this story and don't forget to leave a review or PM me telling me what y'all thought. I also accept PM's on what y'all would like to see me write! Talk to me, friends! Love y'all!

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