The day she dreaded was here
She sighed, the day was here. The day. It had been everything she had been able to think of for the past few weeks. Her dress had been carefully picked. Her make-up had been gently applied to her skin.
The mirror reflected the emotion that she felt. She let out a deep sigh. The nerves were getting the best of her. She was ready for this. For her life to begin. For life to - finally fall into place again. She smoothed down her dress and walked out of the room to face the day.
Birds chirped as she walked to her car. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Was she not ready for this? Was she getting cold feet? She shook her head and got into her car to drive herself to the church. She had told the rest of them to meet her there. She had to do this on her own, otherwise she wouldn't be able to do it.
The blue sky didn't have a cloud in sight. Which made the day even more grey. The sorrow filled the car and she felt her skin vibrate with anxiety. It took everything in her to not just turn the car around and drive back home. Before she knew it, there she was. In the parking lot of the church. His church. She parked the car and reluctantly got out of it.
She saw how people gathered around and walked into the building. They wore smiles on their lips. She heard a few laughs and it cut her deep in her heart. Joy. That was what the emotion was supposed to be today. Happiness, warmth and love.
They had chosen a day in the middle of the summer, to be able to have the reception outside. The flowers stood in full bloom and the birds made wonderful chirps all around. She walked into the church and saw her company sit on the third row. He had asked her to stand beside him, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't get herself to stand beside him.
It didn't take long until the church was filled with family and friends. The chatter among the crowd died down when they heard the sound of the wedding march play from the church organ above them. They stood up and turned to watch the bride walk out with her dad on her arm.
There she was. Beautiful as ever. Her dress made her glow, it fit her perfectly. Her eyes glittered with tears of happiness. This was the happiest day of their life. She was supposed to be happy for them. For him.
Her eyes traveled the room until they landed on the groom. It had taken him ages to find the perfect suit. He had asked her time and time again if it was the best one. Everytime she would bite back her tears and nod. Of course it was the best one. His eyes had also glittered with tears of happiness. This is what he wanted. This is the life that he wanted for himself. She knew that. She had heard him say it. Heard him plea for it.
She was given away by her father and the crowd sat down. The couple threaded their fingers together. The smiles on their lips wouldn't falter. He lifted her veil and caressed her cheek. They were meant to be, weren't they? That's why they're up there. Right?
"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Hannah Burley and Seeley Booth in marriage. With love and commitment, they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife." The priest welcomed everyone.
Brennan took a shaky breath. There was no going back now. This was the moment he would be once and for all not be hers anymore. Was he ever hers? She had said no. She had tried to move on. He had moved on.
Angela grabbed her hand. "It's gonna be okay." She whispered to her friend. Brennan nodded softly and felt a tear fall down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, to hide her feelings. Push them away. Like she had down the past year.
She had been ready when they got back from their year apart. When she saw him she had wanted to run up to him and scream for the world that she loved him. But then - He told her that he was in love. That he had in fact moved on. Like he said he would.
"If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two persons may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest continued. Brennan froze, for just a moment. Angela tightened her grip on her hand.
"Bren.." Angela whispered and kept her eyes on her. "Don't.."
"I have to.." Brennan nodded and sighed. She quickly stood up, not prepared to say anything, she just knew she had to do it.
"Yes?" The priest asked.
"You-" She turned fully to Booth and felt her throat close up. "You once told me that I should always speak my truth. My truth. My feelings. My- Even if it hurts people in the process. You told me that- You told me that I was the one that mattered the most." Brennan got out and took a deep breath of courage. "There is only one person that you love the most. You told me that. You also told me that that person wouldn't go anywhere." She shrugged. "You-" Brennan let out a laugh and glanced up at the ceiling that was filled with candles.
Booth turned to her and held his breath. "Bones-"
"You- You are the one that told me that what goes on between us, is ours. And I- I-" She let out another laugh as the nerves left her body. "I love you, Booth. I love you so much it hurts." She told him. Brennan saw how his eyes widened and she picked at her nails. "I am in love with you, Booth. And I have been in love with you for years. I was just too stubborn and too protective of my already fragile heart to admit it. And I wanted to protect your heart from breaking." Brennan felt herself getting out of breath.
Booth stood there in shock, completely frozen. Hannah let out a scoff and folded her arms over her chest. "Seeley?" She asked her groom. "Are you gonna say anything?" She raised her brows.
Brennan shifted her weight on her feet. She felt the tears stream down her cheeks. He wasn't saying anything. He wasn't doing - anything. She had ruined everything. They had just started getting back to how they were before everything happened.
"I- I'm sorry- I shouldn't have-" She started to panic. "I'll just-" She let out and ran out of the church. She couldn't breathe. Her lungs were collapsing. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest yet she felt it stop at the same time.
She ran and ran. She didn't know where she was going - yet she did. Brennan ran where they always went when everything was crashing down on them. Her legs forced her to move forward until she saw the monument in front of her.
Her legs collapsed underneath her as she got to the steps. She covered her damp cheeks with her hands and she sobbed into them. Nothing would be the same again. She would have to move. Away from everyone. Away from them.
Time passed and soon darkness fell on the monument. She had stopped crying and was now staring out over the city. She almost didn't notice the person sitting down beside her. Brennan instantly knew who it was. She didn't have to look. Her heart told her for her.
"Why did you run?" He asked. "Why do you always run?" He added in a whisper.
"To save you from me." She let the words leave her lips.
"Can't I decide if I need saving?" He asked in a shrug.
"Do you need saving?" She asked softly.
"No, never from you, Bones." Booth smiled and put his coat around her shoulders.
"How was the wedding?" She whispered and held the coat closer to her body.
"There wasn't one." Booth told her.
They sat on the steps of the monument for hours. They didn't speak. They didn't look at each other. They just let the night take them in. A smile finally found Brennan's lips at the end of the day.
Fin.