The rain is beginning to get heavier. It looks like there may even be thunderstorms tonight. Yoongi doesn't particularly like thunderstorms -an old fear he never completely got rid of- but he can deal with it.

Yoongi hangs up his jacket, and puts away his shoes, careful not to track mud into the house. Hoseok always complains about mud. He throws his keys onto the table, and retrieves a towel from the closet to dry off his drenched hair. He switches on the light and takes a good look around his home. It doesn't smell enough like home anymore. Because home is Hoseok, and he isn't here.

Yoongi peers down the empty hallway, like maybe Hoseok will be there to greet him and give him hugs. It's a foolish thought, but he checks anyway. No one is there, but Yoongi wasn't expecting there to be.

Yoongi is hungry. He should eat, but he doesn't have the energy or motivation to cook anything. There are no leftovers in the fridge, and there isn't food in the pantry either. Yoongi makes a mental note to buy groceries tomorrow.

The sky outside is dark and Yoongi can still see the stars painted amongst the twilight canvas. But the clouds are coming in closer, and he knows it won't be that way for long. He looks at the stars and wonders about where those stars come from. He wonders if one of them is the love of his life, watching over him.

Yoongi sits on the couch, switches on the television, and flicks through the channels for a bit, before deciding that none of them are of any interest to him, and turns it off. His eyes stray to the photos that sit on the mantelpiece of the fireplace. He and Hoseok with their dog, Mickey. He died years ago, but he was the best dog. Yoongi remembers rainy nights just like these, where he would come and squeeze himself in between him and Hoseok until they gave him kisses and belly rubs.

Hoseok at his first dance recital. Yoongi remembers fondly of that memory. Hoseok had freaked out the entire time, and Yoongi kept reassuring him that he was the best dancer Yoongi had ever met, and he'd do fine. He did end up doing fine. More than fine, really. He got a standing ovation, that beautiful bastard.

And then there's one of his favorite pictures. The photo of when Yoongi proposed to Hoseok. Taehyung had taken that one; he and Seokjin were hiding behind a bush, and the picture was perfect. It captured Hoseok's grin right before he covered his mouth with his hands. Yoongi would do anything to see that smile again.

And then the wedding. Most of their wedding photos are in a special album that Yoongi hasn't been able to bear to look at again yet. But Hoseok had seen this one photo, and insisted that they put it up on the mantel. In the photo, Hoseok had been dancing with Yoongi, and anyone could see the look in their eyes. They were in their own world when they were together.

Yoongi remembers it well…

Hoseok holds out his hand and offers it to Yoongi. He hasn't stopped smiling once since they made it official.

"Care to dance?"

Yoongi takes his hand. "You know I can't dance."

Hoseok laughs and pulls him up to his feet anyway. "But you're with, and I quote you, 'the best dancer in the country.' Just follow my lead."

So Yoongi does. He takes Hoseok's hands and follows his lead, keeping his eyes on his feet so he doesn't trip.

"Eyes on me, Yoongi. I want to see your beautiful face."

So Yoongi keeps his eyes on no one but his new husband. Hoseok has never looked more beautiful than he does right now, Yoongi thinks. But it isn't the fancy clothing or the makeup, because Hoseok looks beautiful in anything and everything. Really. Ugly clothes are ugly until Hoseok puts them on. No, Hoseok looks beautiful because Yoongi has never seen him happier before.

Hoseok's smile is one of a kind, and Yoongi will always tell him that. Hoseok's smile could light up a dark room. Hoseok's smile radiates so much positive energy, that you're happy just looking at him. Yoongi would pay all the money in the world for Hoseok to be happy. Because Hoseok's happiness is his happiness.

"There, see? You aren't too bad!" Hoseok applauds, and Yoongi realizes that he really is waltzing with Hoseok in this ballroom. It reminds him of a fairy tale. And Hoseok is the handsome prince.

"I think you're just talented enough for the both of us," Yoongi says, meeting Hoseok's dark eyes.

For a moment, it feels like they're back in college, dancing in the kitchen of the apartment they shared, in nothing but pajamas at three in the morning. It feels like no one else is watching. It's just him and Hoseok, together since they were stupid new adults. Now they're stupid older adults, and Yoongi still loves Hoseok more and more each day. At that moment, no one else matters but Hoseok.

"Maybe, but the real talent lies with you. You wrote this song," Hoseok points out.

It's true. Yoongi is the epitome of what one calls a hopeless romantic. After he proposed to Hoseok, he wrote and produced twenty songs to go on the wedding playlist. All of them were love songs for Hoseok. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Hoseok is a smart man. He found out three weeks before the wedding, and Yoongi let him listen to all of them.

"For you, I'd write all the songs in the world to tell you how perfect you are," Yoongi says.

Hoseok is warm. Hoseok is caring. Hoseok is supportive. Hoseok is loving. Hoseok is optimistic, funny, and amazing. Yoongi always finds comfort with Hoseok. Hoseok is his light in the darkness, his hope in despair.

"I love you."

Hoseok is home.

Two years. Two years ago, on this very day, the world lost Hoseok to heart disease. A genetic disease from his mother that he had only a three percent chance of carrying, and he had to fall in that three percent. Because the Fates didn't care how pure and kind and generous Hoseok's heart was. Death took him, took him away from his passions, his hopes and dreams. Took him away while he was still young. Death took him away from Yoongi.

Even though it's been two years, the pain never gets easier.

Yoongi spends the rest of the night flipping through a journal Hoseok wrote for himself. The reason it's so precious is because Hoseok's entries were all about his passions. The things he enjoyed, the things that made him smile, the things and the people he loved. Sometimes the entries were about his life, and other times the entries were about random things he liked. Hoseok had started the journal in college, before he met Yoongi. Years after they got married, Hoseok showed Yoongi a page in his journal, back when they first started dating:

I've started seeing someone. His name is Yoongi. And god, what can I say about him?

Yoongi makes me trust myself. Yoongi makes me feel confident. Yoongi makes me feel like I can achieve anything I want in life. Yoongi makes me feel valid. He makes me feel like I can be myself around him. He tells me I'm beautiful. He tells me that he'll support me, no matter what. Yoongi has never, ever made me feel bad about myself.

I've been in relationships before. But no one has ever made me feel the same way Yoongi has. Yoongi will listen to me talk about dancing for hours, without ever getting bored. Yoongi says I should dance again. He says that I should do what I love.

Yoongi makes me love myself.

Yoongi rereads this particular page often. Because these words are better than any 'I love you.'

Yoongi hugs the old journal close to his chest. Hoseok's handwriting, the memories preserved in ink on these pages remind him of countless memories. When he thinks of Hoseok, he doesn't feel so alone.

A sudden, loud bang outside startles Yoongi. It's just thunder, it's just thunder, it's just thunder, he reminds himself. Nothing to be afraid of. But Yoongi is irrationally afraid. He looks down at his hands. He looks at the spaces between his fingers. The spaces where Hoseok's fingers fit perfectly. On nights like this, Hoseok would be close by. Hoseok, who knew that Yoongi finds security in holding hands. Hoseok, who would never let go of Yoongi's hands until Yoongi wanted him to. Hoseok, who comforted him when thunderstorms were just too loud.

Everything is reminding him of Hoseok tonight.

Yoongi looks up at the clock on the wall. It reads eleven o'clock. Yoongi is tired, and he decides that it's time for bed. He doesn't know how long it'll take him to fall asleep with this weather, but he'd rather lie awake in bed than here in the living room.

After a quick shower, Yoongi settles on wearing one of his lover's old t-shirts. He shouldn't, but it's not a good night, so he'll make an exception for himself, just for tonight.

Yoongi lies awake in bed for a long time. The thunder isn't as bad anymore, and the rain outside is strangely comforting to listen to as it taps against the window softly. The bed is too empty. This queen-sized bed that he shared with his husband, it's not the same anymore. Yoongi used to be happy sleeping here, because this is where warmth was. Now when he lies to sleep here, the space beside him is too empty.

Eventually, Yoongi falls asleep, inhaling the scent of the shirt that's starting to smell less like Hoseok as time goes by.

God, he misses Hoseok.