A/N: Thank you to everyone on Twitter who encouraged me to post this and continue working on it. I hope you like it. It's set in 8x11 and taking place toward the end once the unit finds Becca in the underground tank.
Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.
Hailey slowly rocked Becca back and forth in the cold, dark tank. She tried keeping her composure as she listened to the girl's soft whimpers. Her body was filled with relief and it was threatening to overflow in the form of tears. She was safe now.
The sound of footsteps on the ladder caused Hailey to look up in time to see Jay step down and join her in the tank. He had a blanket in his hands that she recognized from his first-aid kit usually hidden under his backseat.
"Hey," he breathed, "Brought this."
Hailey sniffled, "Thank you."
"Becca," Jay said while kneeling next to them, "My name's Jay, I brought you a blanket, okay?" He waited until she nodded her head just a centimeter to drape it over her legs not already covered by Hailey's jacket. He then took off his own coat and was about to put it around Hailey when she shook her head.
"Give it to her," Hailey whispered, "She's cold."
Jay nodded and did as she asked while watching her gently brush her fingers over Becca's hair and cheeks. He placed a hand on her leg and waited for her to look up.
Hailey met his eyes a moment later. Her lip wavered, but she nodded. She was going to be okay. She'd be better if she knew Becca was going to be okay too, but overall, yes, she was going to be okay.
Jay settled on the ground carefully pulling Becca's legs up on his own in an attempt to separate her from the frozen cement. He tightened the blanket around her as they waited for the paramedics.
Hailey paid little attention to him. She didn't want to distract herself from Becca and looking at Jay too much was just going to hurt her heart. She needed to focus on making sure the trembling girl in her arms made it out of this cement prison safely.
"I've got you, just hold on for me," she whispered, "I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you."
Jay rubbed his face which caught Hailey's eye. She glanced up and her heart, like she expected it to, stuttered. The last time she had whispered similar words, she again was in a dark, cement prison. It had been moments before the paramedics had entered the basement where Jay lay bleeding on the ground. That time, she didn't know if the person beneath her hands was going to live to make it to the hospital. This time, her hopes were slightly higher.
There was a soft dripping sound coming from deep in the tank behind them and Hailey swore she heard the quiet scuffle of mice. If she was quiet enough, perhaps she would also hear three heartbeats – one strong and steady, one weak but consistent, and one fluttering along quickly. She didn't know which was hers.
Time ticked on as each heart pushed forward.
In reality, the paramedics were climbing down the ladder about five minutes after Jay arrived. In Hailey's mind, it felt like five hours. She found herself counting Becca's breaths and silently begging for her to whimper just so she had some sign of life to cling to.
Hearing the two paramedics was the best sound and their quiet voices enveloped Hailey. She was grateful that someone was there to help remove Becca from the tank. Physically, she was strong enough to help, but the second Jay looked at her, she knew she mentally was not. The second thing she was grateful for in the span of a minute was Jay stepping up to be much needed assistance.
When Jay helped one of the paramedics transfer Becca to the gurney, though, she let out a startled cry. Both Jay and the other man froze upon the look of pain that crossed her face.
Hailey dropped herself to her knees and gently cupped Becca's chin, effectively stopping the other paramedic from strapping her bruised head down. "Hey," she said softly, "You're safe now. It might hurt before it gets better, but these men will not purposely hurt you. Please trust me. We are all here to help you, Becca."
Tears carved their way down Becca's cheeks as she nodded against Hailey's slightly trembling hands.
"Good," Hailey released a small smile, "Good girl. We're going to get you out of here."
Slowly and carefully, Becca was brought out of the tank with Hailey right behind. While the paramedics carried Becca to the ambulance with Jay jogging alongside, Hailey bent over to rest her hands on her knees and take several deep breaths.
She felt Kevin's presence before she heard him say her name quietly. He placed a hand on her back, "Walk with me. Let's get out of the way."
Hailey groaned quietly then straightened up to follow him away. The adrenaline from finding Becca was starting to fade leaving her shaking and even colder than she felt underground.
"We got her," Kevin squeezed her shoulder, "You found her, Hailey. This was all you."
She shook her head and closed her eyes. 'Team effort,' she told herself. They had all worked at this one. She was just the one who was able to personally relate. It didn't make her better than everyone; it just meant she had pain under her determination and passion.
"Hailey."
She opened her eyes at Jay's voice.
He held out her jacket wordlessly; his own coat was being worn and hung unzipped against his chest.
"Becca-" she started.
"Has my blanket and an emergency one from the ambulance," Jay interrupted with a shake of his head.
Hailey nodded and accepted her jacket back. Kevin helped her shrug it on before lightly patting her back.
"You wanna go with her?" Jay asked.
Hailey blinked and her insides twisted because she actually didn't want to. She felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders upon finding Becca, but now she was left realizing that they had found her really without threatening a man's life or the lives of his innocent family members. They didn't need to call ICE, yet why had she wanted to do so so badly?
She felt dangerous in that moment because she didn't recognize herself. Why did she always take these cases so hard? The cases that lit up her hidden attic that held the dark and dusty memories of her childhood. She didn't like that. She didn't want this part of her to exist.
"No," Hailey breathed, "Uh...can...I-I was thinking...you…"
Like so many other moments that day, Jay understood what she was saying despite her feeble attempt at talking. "I'll text you," he said and began walking backwards.
Hailey nodded and watched him turn to hurry back to the ambulance through the wind that was starting to pick up. Her eyes stung with tears again, but she blinked them back and swallowed the lump in her throat as the sirens blared taking Becca, and Jay, away.
"Want me to drive you back?" Kevin asked.
Hailey breathed in then looked at him. His expression oozed patience and caring and Hailey so wished he was Jay.
She still didn't even know what exactly she would say to Jay, but she missed his presence. She missed feeling him near her. She missed his calm. It had been like a hug all day even though she had cut him deeply that morning. She wouldn't blame him if he left her – if he left her like the others.
Hailey cleared her throat, "No, no…I'm good. Thank you, though." She looked down at the snow blanketing the ground.
Kevin nodded and crossed his arms as he watched her.
Hailey pulled her bottom lip between her teeth before glancing up at him. She raised a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.
He smiled slightly and put an arm around her shoulder to lead her over to their cars. He waited for her to lock her doors, buckle her seatbelt, and start the car before hitting the top of her car and going over to his own.
Hailey breathed shakily and tilted her head back as she thought about where exactly she could go.
She couldn't face the silence of her apartment, so she decided to return to the one building where she had a chance of avoiding her ghosts...at least, she didn't expect to run into the ghosts of her family in the bullpen.
She could bury herself within paperwork anyways as she waited to hear from Jay about Becca's status.
And that's what she did upon arriving at the district. She worked. She pushed herself to sink back into the case. It was easy reliving the details now that she knew the ending. They flowed easily from her memory to her fingers to the screen as she typed away.
It was only when she'd type 'Detective Halstead' that her mind would falter for a brief second. It'd cause her to look at her phone to make sure he hadn't texted her yet despite having her ringtone turned all the way up.
Unfortunately, she did need to write his name quite often; it went hand-in-hand with being his partner. She had memorized all of his personal information long ago – full-name, birthdate, height, phone number, address, email, passwords, Will's phone number and address, even his social security number.
On the same side of that coin was the fact that Jay had memorized all of her own personal information. She knew that he would easily be able to fill out any emergency medical form for her at Med. So if he knew her social security number, why was she having such a hard time letting him in?
She thought about that question for a long time after completing all the paperwork on Becca.
It was only after her talk with Voight that the answer was clear.
It was because she was bruised.
Bruises take time to heal and they always get worse before they get better. She knew that from years on the job whether it was she or her partner who had an unfortunate run-in with an offender or a wall or even just the corner of a desk in the bullpen.
Bruises hurt to touch even if it is just a gentle stroke to see if it's still there and swollen. Bruises seemed to hurt even worse if touched accidentally.
Jay had done both that morning. He had accidentally, gently stroked the bruise her father had left long, long ago. It was not his fault; he hadn't known that a bruise was there at all. She was confident he knew one used to exist, but he perhaps assumed it had faded a week or so after her father's heart attack.
She had thought it had faded. In truth, it was most likely a dull yellow – still there gracing her soul in a way that maybe made it look like a shadow had been cast over her soft skin.
So it also wasn't her fault that she had become so overwhelmed upon hearing those three damned words slip so easily from Jay's lips that morning. It had been unexpected like bumping a drawer closed when she unknowingly had a bruise on her hip from falling with her gun holstered to her two days before.
Bruises could be fixed with ice…Jay was the ice Hailey needed. Ice always stung a little bit at first and could even hurt if pressed down too hard, but when the pain eventually faded and became numb, the ice was welcoming as if it were a warm hug. She needed a warm hug from Jay.
Hailey had moved to the couch in Voight's office to wait for Jay's text. It was more comfortable than her desk chair and she didn't exactly want to be alone even if she didn't want to talk much about her past; plus, she knew he wouldn't judge her as she took several deep breaths to steady herself.
They both looked up when her phone dinged from its place on the couch cushion beside her.
Hailey quickly grabbed the phone and let out a breath of relief at the words on the screen: Becca's going to be ok. Vitals are good. She's scared, but the pain meds helped her go to sleep. Have an officer outside her door. She's going to be ok. I'm heading home.
Hailey closed her eyes and squeezed her phone quickly. She recited the text word-for-word for Voight. He nodded and began gathering his own coat to leave.
Hailey left the office without saying anything, grabbed her coat and keys, and headed down to her car. When she was seated inside, she finally found herself able to reply to Jay's text.
Thank you. Do you mind if we talk in person? If you're not too tired. I know it's late. It can wait.
She didn't truly believe it could wait, but she wanted to give him an out. If Jay really did think she was too broken for him, she wanted him to have an opportunity to leave. She would never want to think she was holding him back.
To prevent herself from becoming distracted if her phone were to ring in response, she shut it off completely; she didn't even want the distraction of having it easily accessible just by locking it.
She could check her phone when she got to her apartment. That's when she would allow herself to feel the sting of being left again.
The entire drive, she prepared herself for spending the entire night upset over Jay, Becca, and her past. She knew come morning light, her eyes would surely be swollen and her voice would be scratchy. She needed to deal with it.
So when she rounded the corner of the hallway in her building and saw Jay waiting outside her door, she paused in disbelief.
"You came," she said.
"You asked me to," he stated.
It was simple.
She blinked and nodded before walking forward to her door. She unlocked the door and sensed that Jay waited a beat before entering behind her.
Hailey slipped off her coat keeping him in her peripheral vision. His face was soft and he might have even looked like he could cry himself.
Perhaps…perhaps come morning light she wouldn't have cried alone during the night. She just really hoped that by the time the sunrise cracked through her curtains, her bruises had numbed some and become more bearable because of the ice only Jay's heart could provide.