It's now been 5 hours since The Battle of Savanna Central ended and Alister Otterton saved the world. Everyone has gone back to their respective place. Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde were in their apartment, getting ready to meet their friends at the bar.
Judy Hopps was looking at her phone, waiting for Nick Wilde. She was wearing a shirt that said "Rum is Life" on it. Suddenly, Nick Wilde came in.
"Ya ready?" asked Judy.
"Fuck yes," said Nick.
They walked out of their apartment and into the hallway.
"Hey, did you get the chance to hear Pels Raseri's new song?" Judy asked.
"Of fucking course," Nick said, "It's almost even better than Korpiklaani, but don't tell Alister I said that."
Judy looked over and realized Nick was wearing a Korpiklaani shirt.
"I mean, nothing can beat Korpiklaani," Nick said, "Best drinking band and best band ever. They are one of the reasons I still continue to speak Finnish."
They got in their car and drove off.
"Ney Nick," Hopps said, "you mind if I put on the radio."
"Stoatally," Wilde said.
Judy Hopps turned on the car radio.
"This next song," said the radio DJ, "goes out to two special mammals who just got freed from their prison of stone today."
"Oh shit," Judy said, "this one is for us."
The radio then started playing "Vodka" by Korpiklaani and Nick Wilde lost his shit
"OH FUCK!" Nick said, "MY FUCKING JAM! THEY EVEN KNEW I WAS A FAN!"
The two then started shouting along as they turned the song up to maximum volume. They hadn't even had any drinks yet. The song was then followed with "The Battle of Savanna Central," which played on every radio station that day. It had only been released an hour beforehand and was already the best-selling song of all time. After the song was over, the radio DJ made another announcement.
"So, a very important announcement. Pels Raseri has revealed that their debut album will be tilted Raseri and will be released on November 6, 2020. They have also revealed that that night there will be a concert to commemorate the album's release. It will take place at the Old Zootopia airfield and is expected to be the largest concert ever, with 5 million projected to be in attendance. Tickets are on sale this Friday, October 23."
"OH FUCK!" Judy Hopps said, "We gotta get those tickets, fast!"
"Well of course," Nick Wilde said, "It's gonna sell out."
The two then arrived at Pirate's Paradise; their favorite bar in all of Zootopia. They even have their own rum distillery, made by Marty the Marten.
"Judy! Nick!" the Otter bouncer at the front door said in an Irish accent, "So fucking great to see you again!"
"You too," they said to the bouncer.
"I don't need to check your ID's because I know you frequent here."
The two walked in. There, they found their friends. Honey Badger was wearing a Rumahoy shirt, Dashley Mustelle was wearing a Behemoth shirt and spiky pants, while Finnick was wearing a black Brand of Sacrifice hoodie.
"NICK! MY FUCKER!" Finnick shouted as he went up to hug Nick.
"So great to be back," Nick said.
"We've missed quite a bit."
"But we will tell you all about it," said Honey Badger.
"Fuck to the yes," Dashley said.
Suddenly, a Wolverine bartender came up right to them.
"Judy! Nick!" said the bartender, "so great to see you again."
"You too," said Nick.
"Do you know what any of you want to drink?" asked the bartender, "Hey you, the weasel, is that an Alestorm prosthetic leg?"
"Fuck yes it is," Dashley responded, "It is my go too. My running leg is also Alestorm themed."
"I didn't know that Alestorm had their own prosthetic legs," said the bartender, "I need to get one of those."
"Alright," Judy Hopps said, "let's all get multiple shots of Marty's Famous Old Spiced."
"Okay, that will be twenty bucks."
Finnick gave a 20 to the bartender and he walked away.
"Alright," said Nick, "whoever wants to tell, tell us what happened, because we are not fully aware."
"So," Dashley said, "After Aires encased the both of you in stone, he started threatening a 'GREAT TAMING'. He then revealed that the Otterton family was descended from the McFluffs. Alister was Angus' grandnephew,"
"Wait WHAT!" Hopps said.
"So that is why Angus McFluff was at the battle today," Wilde said.
"And then," Dashley said, "there is even more. Aires commenced this 'great taming' and sent a swarm out to the land. I was knocked on the ground and awoke a few hours later to find that there was a 'tame collar' on my neck."
"These were shock collars," Finnick said, "If you became too agitated, you got shocked."
"Aires had now taken complete power," said Honey Badger, "just like I predicted."
"And then," Dashley said, "there was confusion everywhere. No one knew what the fuck was going on. The entire police force had been corrupted and were now called the 'Deathkillers of Zootopia' and was led by Chaoslord Bogo."
"Oh fuck!" Judy Hopps said.
"So," Honey Badger said, "I started an underground resistance called The Basement. We met in an abandoned mine shaft underneath Mystic Springs where I later found out these collars didn't work. I hired a DJ to play each time there and got a good crowd. Finnick and Lionheart would come and get free drinks. Even Travis and Gideon Grey would come. They now formed a slam metal duo called 'Hemorrhoidal Malfunction'. Every time, after the DJ warmed up, I would come out onstage, and would make a speech of resistance to anyone in the room. I then would karaoke a song of choice each time before leaving."
"Two weeks after the taming," said Dashley, "Alister Otterton woke up from his coma. When I learned about this. I went to his house to tell him about the basement. He and his family, along with Duke Weaselton and Revi Hedensk followed me to the location."
"I remember when they arrived," Nick said, "I was not expecting to see them there."
"Then," Honey Badger said, "after I left the stage, they followed me backstage to ask who I was. I told them my story and they told me theirs. I soon found out that Alister was The One and he would be the main one to defeat the evil wizard."
"Oh shit," Nick said, "so that came true as well."
"And" said Dashley, "Alister came back and told me about it. He said that it was probably not true, but I kept encouraging him."
"I encouraged him too," said Finnick.
"So then," Dashley said, "the word spread around the entire city and everyone now knew about it. Even Gazelle made an appearance on TV to talk about it."
"And then all of the insectivores were tamed as well," said Finnick.
"The next day," said Honey Badger, "We entered the battlefield. You were there still encased with stone."
"Pels Raseri was also there," said Finnick.
"Angus then commanded the band to play a battle song," said Dashley, "We got ready to face the Deathkillers. Once Alister gave the command, we charged. Slaughter was everywhere."
"I even died," said Finnick, "I was not strong enough."
"Then," Dashley said, "I commanded Honey Badger to laser the fuck out of everyone."
"I killed all of the Deathkillers," said Honey Badger.
"The heroes of Dundee came in and fought the army of evil wizards," Dashley said, "and Proletius died again."
"He always does that," Nick said, "I swear."
"And then Bear on a Tractor came in along with Bunbun and her Gungun."
"They fucking killed a lot of wizards," said Dashley.
"Big Chungus came in as well," said Honey Badger, "and crushed much of the army."
"He's also my cousin," Judy said.
"Next," Dashley said, "Aires was about to tame everyone who wasn't an evil sheep wizard."
"But" Honey Badger said, "Alister sang and broke off all the tame collars,"
"And that is where the story ends," Dashley said, "because after that, he freed the two of you."
"Oh shit," Nick said, "I love Alister and Pels Raseri even more now."
The bartender returned.
"Alright," said the bartender, "Rum shots for all."
He put the shots on the bar and walked away.
"Oh yes," Dashley said, "and before we drink, I have something for Honey Badger."
"Oh shit what is it," Honey Badger said excitedly.
Dashley got a small ring box out and opened it.
"Will you marry me?"
Honey Badger's jaw dropped.
"OH FUCK YES!" she said, as she hugged Dashley.
Nick then picked up his first shot glass.
"For Alister," he said, "and Pels Raseri."
They all picked up their shot glasses and took drinks. The five got drunk very fast.
Suddenly, Marty the Marten walked out on to the stage.
"Hello everyone," he said, "and welcome back. No more collars."
Everyone cheered.
"So," Marty said, "we all know about the battle today, but we also have a surprise guest here for a return. Can Nick Wilde come up on to the stage!"
Nick ran up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.
"HEI EVERYONE!" He shouted drunkenly in Finnish, "how are all of you doing. I am here to do what I always do. PLAY DA MUSIC!"
Marty then started to play "A Man with a Plan" by Korpiklaani and Nick started to drunkenly shout the lyrics into the microphone like he always does. The whole room went crazy. The rest of his friends went up onstage to join him and dance around drunkenly. Finally, it was closing time, and they left the bar.
"OH FUCK!" Judy said drunkenly, "we don't have a driver."
Just then, they looked and there was Alister Otterton.
"That would be me," said the teenage otter, "We have an extra set of your car keys that Judy gave us back in 2016 after Emmitt was brought back."
"Oh thanks Alister," said Finnick, "HERO OF THE FUCKING CITY!"
He got into the front seat of their car and started the engine and put on Alestorm's Curse of the Crystal Coconut before driving off.
"So," Alister said, "Do you know the story now?"
"They do," Dashley said, as she started to regain sobriety.
"They were quite impressed," said Honey Badger, also regaining her sobriety.
"Well," said Alister, "make sure you all buy tickets to our album release show. It is going to be fucking epic!"
"Will do," said Honey Badger.
"And," Dashley said, "Honey Badger and I just got engaged!"
"HOLY SHIT!" Alister said, "best of luck to you!"
"Maybe," Honey Badger said, "You can burn down a church at our wedding like you did at the Powerwolf show."
"And our band can perform," said the otter.
"Fuck yes!" said Honey Badger.
"Oh yes, and one more thing," said Dashley, "Revi asked me if I wanted to be your tour manager."
"You totally can be," Alister Otterton said, "We already hired Angus as our manager."
"Thanks," said Dashley.
"Plus you all can now call me Alister McFluff."
Alister dropped everyone at their respective locations and left Judy's car at their apartment. He then walked home (it wasn't too far, plus he had Angus' protection this late at night).