Authors Note: It has been years since I wrote and/or published a story. I've been working on some version of this story for months, constantly scrapping it partway through. I finally got some inspiration from a favorite song, Damini by USS (Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker) which is a song about an elephant that died of a broken heart. While I did make parts of the story sad and definitely wrote some parts as someone dealing with depression, this story has a better ending than its namesake. Reviews and criticism are greatly appreciated.
A/N2: This is a LinxMai story, some suggestive points but nothing graphic. There are Current thoughts/sections as well as Memories, memories are in italics.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Ghost Hunt or the song which gave me the inspiration.
Damini
Come back take me with you
I can't exist if me don't equal you now
Be here right as I am, right as you were
Answer me peace love
*Mai*
It had been 3 months since Lin and Naru had left to go back to London. Mai hadn't been sleeping well since they left. Her source of comfort had left 3 months ago and she wasn't coping well. Most would assume she missed Naru, but they would be incorrect. She'd found comfort in an unexpected source, and it started so innocently…
Mai woke with a start, momentarily disoriented. It was a dream that woke her, they were on a case. Mai realized quickly that sleep wouldn't return easily, so she decided to head to the base. At least there she could help watch the monitors. Mai walked into the base and was not surprised to see Lin glowing in the light from the monitors. As she walked in Lin looked up to see who was there, he acknowledged her presence with a slight nod. Mai walked over to him with a small tired smile. As Mai approached Lin he looked at her more closely, she looked exhausted, he cocked his head slightly as if to ask what was up. Mai pulled a chair next to him and simply said, "A dream." Lin nodded in understanding, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Mai explained everything that she'd seen in her dream.
As she finished her explanation she yawned. Lin noticed and pointed to the sofa that was in the room. He asked, "Why don't you go lay down, try to get more sleep." Mai responded, "No, it's okay. I'm fine." Lin didn't push her. They went back to watching the monitors. A little while later he looked over to Mai and saw that she'd fallen asleep in the chair.
With a small smile he decided to move her to the couch. When he lifted Mai she unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled into him, he briefly froze before continuing to the couch. When he tried to lay Mai down she wouldn't let go of him. He decided to sit down with her, he'd eventually free himself to go back to the monitors. That didn't happen, he also fell asleep not too long after sitting down. When Mai woke in the morning she found herself on the couch in the base and her head was in Lin's lap. She panicked slightly and looked up to see Lin still asleep. She tried to quickly and quietly get up, but realized she wasn't successful when she heard Lin say, "Morning."
Mai smiled at the memory. Those encounters had continued somewhat regularly on cases. A wave of sadness hit her, she missed that simple calm comfort she had found with Lin.
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still, and close to my breath
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still forever
Sleep now in my arms forever
Sleep now in my arms together
Dream that we won't wake from ever
Sleep now in my arms
*Lin*
It had been a few months since he and Naru had left Japan. He thought about Mai every day, usually multiple times a day. He hoped she was okay. He'd emailed her a few times but she'd never been great at checking her email, so he wasn't surprised that he'd rarely heard from her. He had gotten a few responses that said she was okay, but he didn't completely believe them. He started thinking about how their lives had started to become intertwined, a small sad smile formed as he remembered…
It had been a remarkably long and hard case, but they'd finally completed it. By the time they got back to the office and unpacked the van it was pretty late. Of course Naru had left Lin and Mai to take care of the heavy lifting and headed out. They'd just brought in the last of the equipment when he heard Mai say, "I'm gonna head home Lin, see you in the morning." Lin responded, "No Mai, it's late, let me give you a ride home. Let me just grab my things." Mai had tried to decline but Lin wasn't allowing it. The drive to Mai's was quiet, when they arrived Mai said, "Thanks… I know it's late, but do you want to come in for some tea?" Lin hesitated briefly before agreeing. They walked up to her apartment where she unlocked the door and let him in. "make yourself comfortable Lin. I'll get started on some tea." Mai said. Lin looked around the apartment from where he stood. It was small but tidy, simply decorated. He made his way over to her couch and sat down still taking in his surroundings. A few minutes later Mai came out of the kitchen with a small tray with their tea, she'd also brought out some snacks. They sat and enjoyed their tea and each other's company. They talked a little about nothing in particular. They had slipped into a comfortable silence when Lin felt a pressure on his shoulder. He smiled as he saw that Mai had fallen asleep. He debated moving her to her bedroom and heading home. He thought going into her room without permission might upset her. He also considered laying her down properly on the couch, but he wasn't liking that idea either. He eventually decided he'd stay on the couch with Mai. He shifted himself to get more comfortable trying not to wake Mai. It wasn't that different from what they had been doing on cases, maybe more intimate, but he'd worry about that in the morning. He fell asleep quickly with his arm over Mai's waist.
Mai woke to a weight around her waist and extra warmth against her back. She looked back and saw Lin smile at her, she smiled back and curled into Lin more. At almost the same time, they said, "This is nice." They stayed together on the couch for a bit before Mai got up to make breakfast and tea. As they ate they started talking about whatever was developing between them, neither could name it yet.
There was a small smile on Lin's face as he remembered those early, very confusing, months. He missed Mai so much it hurt. He starts thinking about going back to Japan to be with Mai.
Fell down all on my own
I'd rather be an angel with you then alone
I cry even in my sleep
Acres a week
Answer me peace love
*Mai*
Mai woke in tears, again. It was going to be another hard day in an already hard week. She often wished the pain would ease, but she would be okay, eventually. The dream she'd had was a recurring one recently, it was a happy memory but it caused sadness now…
The times that Lin stayed at Mai's had been increasing. They always slept on the couch and they'd both started cooking breakfast in the mornings. They easily worked together in the kitchen, barely needing to talk. Mai was at the stove and Lin was nearby cutting some vegetables. Lin finished what he was doing and walked over to Mai. She hadn't noticed Lin move and was slightly surprised when Lin came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her into his chest slightly. Mai relaxed into his hold, the food was done so Mai turned off the burner.
She turned to face Lin and wrapped her arms around him, they both enjoyed the closeness for a few moments. Mai went to pull away to plate breakfast but was stopped by Lin's hold. He placed his hand on her cheek, Lin gently lifted her face to look at her questioningly. He watched her for a moment before leaning down and gently kissing her.
Mai froze, surprised. Lin was about to pull away thinking he'd overstepped their boundaries when Mai pulled him closer and kissed him back. They continued for a while finally parting, breathing heavily. Mai rested her head on Lin's chest while she caught her breath, she mumbled, "wow" Lin pulled her closer and hugged her tighter, smiling. They ate breakfast quickly and got ready to start their day.
Mai smiled at the memory. It was her first kiss and it had been perfect. What she wished more than anything at that moment was to be able to kiss him again.
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still and close to my breath
To feel your head rest on my chest
So still forever
Sleep now in my arms forever
Sleep now in my arms together
Dream that we won't wake from ever
Sleep now in my arms
*Lin*
It had been almost 9 months since Lin left Japan. He had been in contact with Mai through email, but the desire to return to Japan grew stronger every day. He wanted to be able to hold Mai, to kiss her, to never let her go again. Their relationship had been evolving and he wanted it to continue so much…
It had been another rough case they'd just finished. Both Lin and Mai were feeling incredibly worn out and wanted to head 'home.' Lin had started to refer to Mai's apartment as home, as it was the one place he felt calm and could relax. They had to unload the van before they could though. The tension between them, from being so close during the case but unable to act on the feelings, had them both on edge.
Once at Mai's, they were barely inside the apartment before Mai was on him, kissing him hard and pushing him against the door. Lin kissed her back just as hard, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, Mai opened her mouth to him. The kiss became even more intense. Mai broke the kiss but grabbed Lin's hand. She led him down the hall toward her room. Lin hesitated at the door, "Mai, are you sure?" Mai stopped and thought for a moment before kissing him, "Yes, I'm sure. Though honestly it's probably not going much farther than it has been." Lin nodded, still unsure, but if there was anything he was sure about it was that he wouldn't push her any further than she was comfortable. He couldn't hurt her like that. It was a small step up in their relationship and he'd accept it.
They did have a pretty intense makeout session, but they stopped before things got too intense. They fell asleep that night holding each other close.
Lin had finally decided; he was going back to Japan. He needed her and he was pretty sure she needed him. He'd recently gotten an email from Mai and she definitely didn't seem like herself and he needed to do something about that. He wasn't sure what would happen when he got there, he didn't really care. Would he stay there or bring Mai back to London, they'd work that out while he was there. Lin booked himself on the first available flight to Japan.
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
I think about you all the time
But you won't ever know
*Mai*
It had almost been 9 months since Mai last saw Lin. She felt like she missed him more now than she had in the months before. She'd been receiving emails from him pretty regularly, but she wasn't the best at responding to them. It was becoming hard to hide how much she missed him, but she didn't want him to worry about her either. She'd actually received an email from him earlier that day. The tone of it was more upbeat than usual, there wasn't an obvious reason for it. Her mind ran with it and was making her think that Lin had found someone else and it was only a matter of time before the emails stopped coming…
It was the night before Lin and Naru were leaving. Lin was spending the night, as usual. He'd actually spent most of the last week with Mai whenever possible, and they already spent a significant amount of time together every day.
Mai couldn't count the number of times she'd cried or almost cried that day. She loved the extra time with him but couldn't stop thinking about the inevitable absence that would be following it.
Lin took Mai out to dinner where they ate in relative silence, enjoying each other's company. Once back at Mai's they were practically inseparable, first on the couch then eventually on her bed. She'd been considering giving Lin everything that night but decided she couldn't do that to herself. She also figured Lin wouldn't let her even if he wanted it to happen.
The next morning Mai went to the airport with Lin and Naru to see them off. Mai tried so hard to not completely break down, She was mostly successful until it was time for them to board the plane. She fell apart, even though she didn't want to. Lin stayed with her as long as he could, trying to calm her a bit. It had kinda worked but not very well. He did make a promise to her that he would be back, he wasn't sure when but he would come back to her, they both knew he meant it. That had helped calm Mai a bit, and gave her something to look forward to. It was with that promise that Lin kissed her for the last time, in that kiss was his promise to return.
Mai was crying again, she'd give anything to be with Lin right now. Mai cried herself into a restless sleep where she thought about that promise and how it still sat unfulfilled. There was a knock at her door, at first she thought it was in her dream, but it became more insistent. She woke fully and made her way to the door, who on earth would be at her door so late…
Sleep now in my arms forever
Sleep now in my arms together
Dream that we won't wake from ever
Sleep now in my arms
*Lin*
Lin's flight arrived very early in the morning. He'd originally planned to get a hotel room for a few hours at least so he didn't wake Mai in the middle of the night. During the flight he'd decided he couldn't wait until daylight to see her. He hailed a taxi and headed to Mai's apartment.
It was a little past 2AM when he arrived and went up to her door and knocked. He waited a few minutes and knocked again, a little harder. It was another moment before he heard movement within the apartment, now he really felt guilty for his selfishness and waking her.
Mai made her way to the door and checked the peephole to see who was there. When she looked she froze at who she saw, she had to be dreaming, was Lin really at her door?! She slowly opened the door and was surprised to see that it was in fact Lin at her door. "What...how...when…" she stammered, "Oh! Come in." she stepped aside to let him in. As she was closing the door strong, warm arms engulfed her and she felt warm kisses along her neck. She could still hardly believe that Lin was there kissing her right now, her knees went wobbly on her.
Lin felt Mai stumble and start to fall, he caught her with ease. He turned her to face him and while leaning in for a kiss said, "I've missed you SO much." He felt more than heard Mai's agreement as he kissed her. He pushed her against the door pinning her there while he ravaged her mouth. Both their hands were exploring the other's body.
They eventually separated, slightly, and while Mai was still trying to catch her breath she started to ask her questions, more clearly now. "When did you get here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming? How long are you here?"
Lin chuckled, "I got here about an hour ago. I wanted to surprise you, did it work? Hopefully forever, but if I need to leave again I will NOT leave without you."
Mai hugged him, "Yes it worked, very well! I'm so happy you're here!" she pulled away slightly, "Would you like some tea? Something to calm us down from this very late night excitement."
Lin nodded, though he had very different thoughts on what he wanted to do right now, and they didn't involve tea… But he followed her into the kitchen to help her with the tea. He gathers the tea cups as Mai boils the water, as he's setting the cups down he sees Mai reaching for the tea but it was just out of her reach. He comes up behind her, very close and easily grabs it down for her. In being so close his 'excitement' to be there brushed against her. He saw her turn red when she realized what it was she'd felt. Lin stopped and leaned into her, placing his hands on her hips he whispers in her ear, "Yes I'm very excited to be here with you. But I will NEVER push you to do anything you aren't ready for. It will ease on its own, or I can take care of it if it's particularly stubborn. I love you too much to hurt you like that." It was Lin's turn to freeze and turn a shade of red, he'd slipped up, they had never said they loved one another. It was incredibly obvious, especially over the last 9 months apart, but now he couldn't help but worry he'd really scared her off.
Mai had a slight blush still remaining on her cheeks, she wasn't sure if it was from the touch or the admission, she didn't really care. She was happy their relationship finally had a name. Yes, she was definitely in love with Lin, and he was with her. She was so happy she could burst. She took a breath, and realized Lin was on edge looking like he might run away, she looked at him and said, "I love you too! I have for a while and just didn't know or realize that's what it was. It probably would have helped us both when you had to leave if we'd known. I love you Lin Koujo and I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner." She reaches up and pulls him into a deep kiss.
They part when they hear the kettle whistling at them incessantly, how long had it been screaming at them that it was ready… neither one really cared. Lin reached over and turned off the heat and moved the kettle. He looked back at Mai, "Don't apologize, neither of us were sure what we had going. What's important is that we know now and we can work toward happiness together." As he finished he kissed Mai again deeply.
Mai, having already forgotten about the tea again, pulls away from the kiss and grabs Lin's hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and down the hall. There's no question what she's thinking about, while Lin is more than happy to take that step he will offer Mai plenty of chances to stop tonight, they have forever.