Why do babies have to be so messy? I have been trying to get Mila to eat her dinner, and all she wants to do is play with it. But Mom says she must eat, so here I am.

I glance up at Mom, who's standing at the sink in the galley. I'm still a bit frustrated with her. She never wants me to have any fun. I'm thirteen and a half! I can shoot, fly the Falcon by myself (with Dad next to me), and I can beat anyone at sabacc (except Dad and Chewie, but nobody can beat them). So I should be allowed to have one little walk on the beach with a boy, right? It's not like he was an Imperial spy who'd followed us there (Dad ran his profile, so we know that for a fact). He was just a guy who said I was cute and he wanted to take a walk with me at sunset (isn't that so romantic?). But oh no. Can't have that. I might actually have a little bit of fun. Better to stay here and babysit.

Okay... Dad would say I'm not being fair and I should always be as honest with myself as I am with everyone else. So the truth is Mom and Dad did let me invite him for treats around the campfire. Which was so exciting because he sat right next to me and told me again how cute he thought I was. He was...well, he was okay. He had a kind of funny smell, and he had so much gel in his hair, it looked like he had some weird hair-shaped helmet on. But so what? Everyone is entitled to their own personal style.

But anyway, after he left, Mom had a little "chat" with me. She said she didn't think I should see that boy anymore because his "intentions weren't honorable", and besides that, she said, he was too old for me. Whatever! Like she could tell his "intentions" after one short hour. And he was only three years older - Dad is like twenty years older than Mom and nobody cares about that (okay, maybe he's only ten years older. But that's old! Three years is nothing compared to that!).

I guess it doesn't really matter. He's gone, we're gone. That part of vacation is over. We're on the Falcon headed for Kashyyyk. We have another standard month before school starts again, so we're spending that time with Chewie's family. And that's fine, I suppose. I like it there. Lumpy and the other kids are fun and we get to go hiking and swimming and this year Dad says I'm old enough to go camping with the other teenagers. I miss my friends from school though. I want to tell them about Zak and the sunset walk we almost had. My best friend, Karyssa, will be so envious. She's super into boys, it's practically all she talks about. She even put together this poll for us, all about the boys at school or the guys on the base, even our dads. She printed it out on flimsi and everything. There were a lot of questions, all about who we wanted to kiss and stuff like that. In the "dad" category mine was voted "best looking". Karyssa was a little upset because she'd thought everyone would vote for her dad. (Wedge, her dad, was voted "most fun", because he'd just installed a pool for us kids on the base. I even voted for him.)

Oops. I wasn't paying attention and now Mila has food all over her arms. And now she's spitting veggie chunks at me. I'd better get her cleaned up before she gets any worse. It's a good thing she's so cute. (Actually, she's completely adorable. Everyone says she looks just like me when I was a baby.)

As I'm working on that, Dad comes into the main hold.

"Hey, how are my girls? Did you have a good dinner?" Dad bops Mila on her gooey nose. She blows a bubble at him and waves her arms wildly, no doubt sending more mashed gunk into my hair. I quickly wipe her hands and face off with a towel.

Dad chuckles and keeps walking. But then...that blasted (don't tell Mom I used that word) song comes on over the speakers and Dad stops, mid-stride.

"Uh oh!" He swoops over to the control panel and turns the music up louder.

I roll my eyes. He does this from time to time. He'll usually grab whichever of "his" girls is closest and swing us around. (Okay, fine. I really do enjoy it. Dad's a good dancer and it kind of makes me feel all grown up and special when he dances with me.) But right now I'm a little mad at Mom and not in the mood. (Well, (honesty is hard!) I could probably get out of my bad mood pretty quick if he danced with me.)

I have to cover my ears as Mila shrieks excitedly from her seat, causing Dad to turn from the direction of the galley (he was no doubt heading for Mom…)

"Baby wants to dance? Is that it?"

I thought Dad was going to take Mila and dance her around, but he takes both of us. Somehow he holds her with one arm and still manages to swing me around, back and forth, round and round, until I feel myself smiling and Mila is grabbing his face with her slobbery fist.

When the song ends, Dad stops dancing and gives us each a kiss on the cheek.

"Here, baby, dance with Kayla now. Daddy's got a date with your pretty mama." Dad winks at me as he hands her to me. I'm not sure what he's winking about, but I take her anyways and kiss her soft little cheek myself. She makes some cute baby talk at me.

Dad walks back to the terminal and scrolls through the songs until he finds the one he always puts on for Mom. Then he turns it up even louder before heading to the galley. Mom turns her head as he approaches and I can she is smiling, but she doesn't turn around. So he stands behind her, wrapping his arms around her and swaying to the music. They're always hugging and kissing and stuff, and I usually just ignore them.

I take Mila over to her play area and set her inside. I open my datapad and plop myself down on the floor beside her, intending to start my message to Karyssa, but I can't help glancing up again. I can see Mom and Dad from the side, still standing together in the galley. Dad's hands are on her hips now. Mom's hands are behind her back, somehow kind of in between her and Dad. At first I think she's trying to push him away… but then I realize she can probably feel his...umm, man stuff, there. Awkward! Why doesn't Dad back away? (Sometimes when Mom is busy she tells Dad to wait just one Bakurian minute before he starts getting all mushy on her.) But Mom must not be pushing very hard (or at all) and Dad...he kind of just keeps swaying and his face has a funny look...like...he likes it? Ew!

When the chorus starts, Dad takes Mom's hand and spins her around to face him. Then he pulls her to the side where there is more room and continues dancing with her. He's still singing too. It's a good thing the other girls are watching a holo in the bunkroom or they'd just sit here and giggle.

Truth be told, I kind of want to giggle also. Dad is such a funny singer, but he doesn't care. He sings to Mila at night sometimes when she can't sleep. (Sometimes when I'm sad I wish I was little again so I could sit on his lap and he would sing to me like he used to…)

As the song slows down, they come closer together again. Dad doesn't hold any of us girls like that when we dance. Like, Mom is all mushed up against him. Their bodies move together, with absolutely no space between them.

Parents are so weird. They seem to have forgotten that I'm even here.

Now they're kissing. I had been wondering if Zak was going to kiss me on the beach...but, um, I hope he wouldn't have kissed me like that. Wow. I shouldn't watch...but I can't help it. They're always kissing, but I never really watched them before. I don't know what I was thinking, exactly. Maybe I thought married people had to kiss, like, to stay married or something. But as I look a little closer, it sure doesn't look like they're doing something they have to do. They look like they're doing something they really want to do. Mom has one hand up around his neck, the other I can't see, but it looks like she's holding onto his shirt or something.

The music goes into the final chorus and Dad spins Mom around again before drawing her close once more. Dad's hand slowly goes all the way down her backside... Whoa.

I quickly turn away. Dad definitely forgot I was here and Mom's gonna get mad at him for sure. But as I peek back at them, I see Mom is smiling up at him like he's just the fodder to her bantha. Dad is saying something in her ear now, and she says something back. Well, I've seen them do that before, and it usually means they need some "quiet time" in their cabin.

Wait.

Just...wait.

Hold everything.

What if...eewww. What if all that weird squishing-up-together dancing they were doing was like...sex? I mean, I know how sex works, and obviously that's not it exactly, but what if "quiet time" means…

I feel my face burning up. I don't know how I never realized this before. I mean, they have a new baby every few years so obviously some kind of...sex happened. But I kind of thought they just did it to have a baby and then they were done. But they have "quiet time" all the time, especially on vacations. And….suddenly I remember things like sometimes I see both of them coming out of the fresher at the same time, with their hair all wet. Obviously (well, it's obvious now) they must have showered together. Gross! Why would they do that?

But they sure look happy. It occurs to me that Dad really loves Mom. I mean, Dad adores all of us girls - ask anybody and they'll tell you 'Han Solo sure loves those kids'. Dad also gets teased a lot for having so many kids. Nobody else in the whole Alliance has four. But...maybe nobody else loves each other as much as Mom and Dad do...I don't know. This is all very confusing.

I watch as Dad says something else to Mom, and she nods and smiles at him, then goes back into the galley, where it looks like she's getting something from the cooler.

Dad turns and starts walking towards me. Holy sith! His shirt is unfastened more than halfway down his chest. Did Mom do that? I mean, I've seen him like that before, lots of times. I know he even sleeps without a shirt, and he doesn't wear one at the beach (or the new pool!) and that's all fine. But his shirt was definitely fastened all the way up when he was dancing with me just a few minutes ago.

I quickly look at my screen.

"Hey, kiddo, would you mind keeping an eye on the girls for a while? Mom and I need some quiet time." Dad reaches down and gives Mila a toy she had dropped.

"Sure," is all I can manage. I can't look at him. I don't know what else I'll see and I don't want to find out.

But Dad nudges my foot with his boot. "You okay? Do you need me to stick around?"

"Oh, um, no. We're fine here. I'm just going to write a message to Karyssa."

"All right. I think there are still some of those snack packets in the cupboard if anybody wants some. Thanks, honey. You sure are a big help to your mom and me. Are we still on for our sabacc game later?"

"Yeah!" I forget myself for a second and look up at him. I love it when it's just him and me playing. He tells me stories of games he used to play and gives me all these little inside tips. And when it's just us, we don't have to let the little girls win sometimes. It's so great. (I should have voted for Dad.)

"It's a date then. I'll see you after we put the little ones to bed. But first...your mother and I have some things to catch up on. So I'll see you in a bit. Love ya, kiddo."

"Love you too, Dad."

Mom comes by a minute later, carrying two glasses and a bottle of wine she got at a fancy shop in the little town by the beach. (She and Dad always find a special bottle of something when we visit a new planet, and now that I think about it, they usually drink it on our way back...)

"Are you girls doing all right?"

"Yes," I answer. I feel my face get hot again. Mom always knows through the Force if I'm lying, so I'm glad the truth is that we really are doing fine.

"Good. I'll be back in a little while."

"Okay."

When she doesn't walk away, I make myself look up at her. She's just looking at me, smiling that motherly smile of hers. Uh oh. Suddenly I'm afraid she's going to sit down and say something I don't want to hear. But she doesn't, she just smiles at me and walks away.

I lean back against the wall in relief. I hear the door open and Dad's muffled voice before it closes again.

Sometimes I can't tell what she picks up on. My friends all feel super sorry for me because my mom can read my feelings so much more than their moms can. They think it's better to be able to hide their emotions. And sometimes that's true...but really, it's not too bad. It's kind of nice not having to explain myself too much, because she usually already knows. And I can use the Force to pick up on her feelings too, when I so choose...which I won't do right now. No. I wouldn't do that. I really shouldn't because whatever they're doing is private and I'm embarrassed enough at what I've already seen tonight.

But even as I'm thinking these things, I can feel the Force warming me up as it starts to flow. I'll just kind of peek at her feelings...that's all. Just a little look...

Well, Mom is smart. Dad always says she's the smartest woman there is. She has her barriers up (it is annoying how she can always tell what I'm going to do) so all I can feel is...love. Love for me, the other girls...and a whole lot of love for Dad.

Suddenly I feel all grown up. Mom says kids grow up fast, and I guess she's right. So what if my parents are having sex in there right now? I can handle it. I'm almost grown up and I understand that these things happen. It's normal and fine. (Not that I ever want to do anything like that, because...well, it sounds kind of icky.)

A few days ago I remember Echo, who's only ten, was telling Mom how she's never going to get married because she doesn't want to kiss anyone on the mouth. Mom just said she'll probably change her mind someday, but not to be in a hurry. I guess that's what I'll do: I'll not be in a hurry. I need to find someone who will love me like Dad loves Mom, and...that might take awhile, I think. I might even have to wait until I'm fifteen or sixteen.