Fragile World

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these delightful characters, that honor belongs to Cassandra Clare. I have mostly followed the events of the show except for Simon's becoming a Vampire. For this story, I wanted Raphael to be his sire, so I followed the books version of his turning.

Chapter 1

Simon lost track of time as he wandered aimlessly through the busy streets of Brooklyn. His life was over. He had lost everything. There was nothing left for him. No hope, no friends, no anything.

He had lost his life, literally, when he had died and been brought back as a Vampire, as an undead monster. He had lost any hope for a clan, a family in his new vampire life. He was a homeless, clan-less fledgling left to fend for himself as he was now banned from the Dumort. Banned from a chance at a potential better life all because he had chosen his best friend over his new family. A best friend who had selfishly used him because she knew he would do anything that she asked and then threw him away at the first chance she got. His un-beating heart ached at the thought. He had been so concerned with chasing the chance of a "normal" life by keeping Clary in his that he had turned a blind eye to her manipulations and deceit. Now he had no best friend and no clan.

He had lost his friends his hope at something more than this lonely existence. There was a brief pang as he thought of the other Shadowhunters who had always appeared to be quite annoyed with him but also went out of their way to check in with him and make sure he was ok and adjusting. He had, briefly, felt a bond with them, Isabelle especially, as she had made sure to keep tabs on him and pushed him to talk about how he was really doing even when he insisted that he was fine. That had all stopped when he left the institute and cut off contact with everyone. Pushing everyone away to protect himself from further heartache. He was an awful person, no one should have to put up with him. They were better off without him bringing them down.

His thoughts shifted to another loss, to Raphael. His Sire, the reason he had become a vampire; well, in a completely unintentional way. Simon had stupidly drunk an enchanted beverage at Magnus's party and turned into a rat and he had mistakenly been taken back to the Dumort. In the process of being rescued, he had bitten Raphael's finger ingesting a small amount of the clan leader's blood. Afterward, he had started feeling a pull to go back to the hotel, to seek out Raphael. And here he was, only this wasn't what it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be with Raphael and the clan. To have someone to teach him how to control himself and how to fend for himself as he grew and developed as a fledgling. He missed Raphael's dry wit and snide comments. He missed the gentle touches and affection that he gave him at just the right moment; fledglings craved contact and comfort and he was desperately touch starved at this point. He missed the way that Raphael always seemed to know when something wasn't right with him and the way he just showed up in Simon's room to check on him. And now none of that mattered, he would never have that again. Raphael hated him. The clan hated him. He was banned from the Dumort. He deserved it. He had betrayed them all in the name of what…love? Friendship? Some greater good that, in reality, wasn't his fight to fight?

The biggest loss, the most impactful heart-breaking loss was that of his family. His sister and his mother were both gone. Killed by who knows what. He could still see the blood splattered walls and the carnage that had been all that was left when he had gone to his mother's house in the hopes of catching a glimpse of his family, of making sure they were safe. The door had been slightly ajar and the house dark the smell of blood hanging heavily in the air. He hadn't made it past the living room, where he found the bodies and saw the blood before he had stumbled outside and vomited in the front lawn. In the blink of an eye his world had collapsed around him. The hope that his mother would one day come around and accept his new identity as his sister had slipping through his fingers. The last words that she had ever spoken to him, her terrified voice calling him a monster, a vile evil murderer, echoed in his brain.

He choked back a sob, his steps faltered for a split second and then he resumed walking, head bowed, and hands fisted into his pockets, nails digging into his palms keeping his despair at bay.

It could have been minutes or hours; all sense of time had left him as he lost himself in his spiraling thoughts. Eventually, he stopped, looking up with a bit of surprise at the door he had finally come to stand in front of. 'Why did I come here?' he thought slightly bewildered. He had never felt particularly close to the occupant of the apartment but then who else would understand the thoughts flying about in his head and the grief of losing everything before it was time, before he was ready. He took a shuddering breath, even though it was completely unnecessary, and raised his fist to knock once. His fist fell back to his side and after a moment he heard faint movement from the other side of the door.

After a moment, the door opened and a tall, slender and slightly disheveled man with spikey black hair and smudged black eyeliner came into view. His eyes widened slightly in surprise at the sight of the vampire and then he opened the door wider, gesturing for him to enter.

"Simon?" he said softly as he stepped back to let the boy enter the foyer. "What can I do for you?"

Simon didn't respond, he just stood silently in the entry way as the door clicked softly shut behind him. He glanced up, briefly meeting the warlock's golden eyes, before looking down again. He took a shuddering breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Magnus…" his voice broke and he paused. "I…I don't…I can't…" he looked up unable to continue. He saw Magnus take a small step forward holding his arms wide, inviting him into his embrace.

"Oh, little one," Magnus murmured sadly. "What has happened?"

Simon wanted to move, to dive into the comfort and safety of the embrace being offered but he only managed one step before he choked on a sob. His knees buckled, and he slid to the floor clutching at his chest where his, once beating, heart laid dormant and still. He didn't need to breath, he was dead after all, but he felt like he was suffocating. His chest rose and fell with choked, anguished sobs and red tears streamed down his cheeks as he was overwhelmed by the sudden grief that engulfed his entire being.

He was vaguely aware of warm arms surrounding him and comforting words being softly spoken as hands rubbed soothing circles on his back and up and down his arms but all that existed was the pain, the all-consuming, gut wrenching pain that permeated his very soul.

"I can't…they're gone…all gone…everything…gone…" he sobbed as he held onto Magnus like a drowning man held onto a life raft. "Becky….my mom….my family…. dead…". Magnus held him tighter, continuing his soothing barrage of words as he just listened to the broken fragments of Simon's grief. "Can't go home…. not allowed…. clan…Raphael…not wanted…"

"Shhhhh, it's alright little one. I've got you. I know it hurts; I know it's agony. I will help you; WE will help you. Shhhhh, it will be alright," Magnus soothed. Simon was vaguely aware of another voice, 'Alec's voice' he thought, asking Magnus a question softly but he was too far gone to understand what was being said. He heard fragments "Takis" and "blood" and "needs to eat" but he could not comprehend what they meant. He felt a hand settle softly on his shoulder and squeeze and a murmured "We've got you, Simon" as Alec slipped past where Magnus was holding Simon in the entry way of the apartment and quietly left with a soft declaration that he would be back soon.

Magnus continued to hold him as he cried, eventually his sobs died down and he was left gasping into the warlock's tee shirt still holding onto it like a life raft. The man rubbed his back soothingly encouraging him to take deep breaths in and out. He placed Simon's had on his chest and told him to concentrate on his heartbeat and to breath in tempo with the rise and fall of his own chest. Eventually, his breathing evened out and he was left drained, slumped against the other man's chest feeling…empty.

"Come on little one, let's get you somewhere more comfortable," Magnus said as he rose from the floor pulling Simon with him. Simon didn't say anything, just looked at the ground and followed behind the man as he was pulled further into the apartment and over to a comfortable looking couch. Magnus sat in the corner and when Simon made no move to follow, pulled the fledgling down next to him, wrapping his arm around Simon's shoulder and pulling him against his side and running his long fingers through Simon's hair in a comforting manner. "Do you need anything?" Magnus asked softly. Simon shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to bother you. I don't know why I came, I just thought…." His statement died on his lips and he looked at his hands.

"Do not be sorry," the warlock said. "I admit, I was surprised to see you at my door, but I would never turn you away."

"Thank you," Simon whispered so softly he wasn't sure the other man heard him. He felt himself relax against the warlock's side as Magnus continued to run his fingers through his hair, his eyes fluttering shut as exhaustion fell over him making his entire body feel heavy and numb.

"Sleep little one, we will be here when you wake," was the last thing he heard before everything went blissfully black.

XXXXXXXXX

Magnus looked up as the door to the loft opened and shut softly behind Alec. He continued to stroke the vampire's hair as Alec walked quietly over to him.

"How is he?" he asked setting the bag from Taki's down on the coffee table as he leaned down to peck Magnus on the lips.

"He is…. broken," Magnus said after a pause. "He has lost much, and I do not believe it will be an easy road for him to traverse going forward."

Alec sighed and glanced at the sleeping Simon. "He looks so thin and sickly," he observed. "He did not look this unhealthy when last I saw him."

"He has most likely not been eating properly. Without a clan to teach him and help provide for him, he is likely only eating every few days, possibly less. He is technically still just a baby by vampire standards. Without others in his clan, he is probably very lost and confused. Vampires are very much a "family" mentality and fledglings require a lot of attention, both physical and mental."

Alec frowned but didn't say anything. "Let me put his meal in the fridge for when he wakes up."

He grabbed the bag from the coffee table and disappeared into the kitchen. There was the sound of the fridge opening and closing, the sound of running water, and some clinking and a few minutes later he returned with two mugs of tea. He handed one to Magnus and then moved to sit on the other side of the warlock and sleeping vampire.

"He looks like a shell himself. He was such a chatty, annoying little nerd when I first met him. Even so, he had a spark to him. Something that endeared himself to you; got under your skin and made you want to like him." Alec set his mug on the coffee table and looked over at Magnus. "I tried to call him you know. After Clary left him high and dry. We all tried, even Jace. He never answered though. We should have tried harder."

"One cannot help someone who is not in a place to be helped," Magnus said softly. "He had just found out that his best friend had used him as a means to an end and he lost his clan as a result of his alliance to her. He was acting out of self-preservation. Push others away to avoid future harm to oneself…. much like you my dear Alexander," he said a slight teasing note in his last statement.

Alec blushed slightly but didn't dispute the statement. He was the king of pushing people away and running from his feelings. But that was beside the point. Right now, it was all about figuring out how to help Simon. He worried his lower lip between his teeth, so lost in thought that he jumped slightly when he felt fingers brush his cheek softly. He looked up into the amber gaze of his boyfriend and blushed.

"You're going to put a hole in your lip, darling, if you keep that up. I would very much miss any part of your lips that you might destroy in your worrying," Magnus said with a soft smile and suggestive quirk of the eyebrow. "Shall we tuck our little vampire in and go to bed?"

"I'll get some blankets from the closet," Alec said as he rose from the couch.

He went down the hall to the linen closet and returned a moment later with a soft throw and a pillow. He gently helped Magnus detach himself from the slumbering vampire and helped lay him down in the corner of the sofa, tucking the blanket around him. Simon rolled to his side, whimpering slightly. Magnus reached down to stroke him cheek.

"Shhhhh," he cooed. "Sleep Simon, we will be here when you wake." The brief touch seemed to be all that was needed, and the boy settled back into a peaceful slumber.

Magnus took Alec's hand and the two disappeared into the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar just in case Simon needed them. They both changed into night clothes and settled under the covers. Alec rested his head on Magnus's chest as the warlock wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Alec raised his chin to gaze at the other man's face before giving him a kiss goodnight.

"I'm glad I stopped pushing you away," Alec whispered into the warlock's neck. He felt the arms around him tighten.

"As am I my darling, as am I."