Raph had come into Donnie's current workspace to help him with some improvements he was making into the base that was the home of the people who stood against the Shredder and had started talking about him and Mikey having a fall out.
The way it sounded, Mikey and Raph had just as many fallouts now as Raph and Leo did back in the day, or even back in his time. But then Raph said something about not putting out until Mikey apologised for their latest argument. Now Donnie wasn't always up to date with slang but he knew what 'not putting out' was. What he hadn't known was that Raph and Mikey were having sex in the first place, or how long they had been having sex for. Were they in a relationship or were they just...brothers with benefits?
So instead of letting the questions roll around in his head, he asked Raph. He and Mikey had been together since their late teens but since he disappeared it became a very on again off again relationship, partly because they were always moving around. not always together and partly because most of the time that they were in the same place they argued a great deal about even the smallest problem.
As Raph was explaining about his relationship, Donnie couldn't help but think of him and Leo. Had they been in a relationship like Raph and Mikey? He was determined to find out, so he asked Raph.
"What about Leo and I?"
"Huh?"
"Before I...disappeared, were Leo and I together?"
"Yeah, before me and Mikey were, Leo took it pretty hard when you disappeared, blamed himself for years, probably still does."
"Why?"
"Apparently you two had an argument the day before about something stupid and never made up before you disappeared, none of us thought that was the reason you left though."
"Do you think Leo would be able to talk to me about what happened?"
"I dunno if he'll want to but you can try."
"I'll talk to him the next time that I see him." Donnie said before getting back to what he was doing.
Well, he tried, he couldn't concentrate when his mind was on his brothers and their relationships and the possibility that he and Leo in this universe were in a relationship before he disappeared. He couldn't wait until he bumped into Leo to ask him, he had to go and find him to get his answers.
It didn't take him long to find his brother, he was in a makeshift dojo, which he was told was where Leo came often whenever he was in New York.
"Leo?" Donnie called out and his brother stopped his movements but didn't turn around. "Can we talk?"
"What did you want to talk about Donatello?" Donnie made his way across the room so that he was standing in front of Leo.
"Something Raph told me.."
"What did Raph say to you?" Leo asked with an expressionless face that made the purple banded turtle nervous.
"He was talking about Mikey and himself having a falling out and that he wasn't going to be having sex with him until he apologised...when I asked him about you and I...apparently we were together as well."
"And in your universe we are not romantically involved?"
"No...at least not yet."
"And why are we talking about this?"
"Raph says you blame yourself over your Donatello's disappearance," he said and Leo turned around, avoiding talking to him even more, "Leo, you have to let this go, there is no way that you are ever going to know what the reason behind his disappearance was!"
"I know that Donatello, but I want to know, I need to know, but I never will..and I will never stop blaming myself for what happened."
"I wish there was some way that I could help you Leo, but you have to stop blaming yourself, it may have been ill timed."
"I can't put this away Donatello."
"You can't spend the rest of your life like this!"
"I've spent the past thirty years doing so, I'm sure that I can continue to do so."
"Why are you so goddamn stubborn?" Donnie shouted in frustration and sighed, putting his head in his hands to calm himself down. "Listen Leo, in my universe, if we were together and we had an argument, no matter how bad it was, I would never leave you, any of you and I don't think this universe's Donatello would either, something terrible must have happened to him for him to not come back home."
Leo remained silent so Donnie continued speaking, giving him, possibly, some cold hard truth.
"He's most likely dead."
"You think I don't know that?" Leo said lowly, turning around, "that adds onto my pain, Donatello, because of me, my love is dead."
"It's not because of you."
"You'll never get me to think or feel any different than I do," Leo said and began to walk out of the dojo. Donnie moved to stand in front of him and pressed his hands against his chest, gripping the top edges of his plastron, refusing to let him leave.
"Don?"
"Do you ever think that how you are feeling could hurt somebody else?" Donnie asked and Leo frowned, not understanding where his brother was going.
"What you are saying...it hurts me, you think that me and your Donnie would be stupid enough to leave...that I would be selfish enough to leave my family to suffer, if your Donatello were here, he would be hurt, you may think you are blaming yourself Leonardo, but you are blaming him." In the surge of emotion that he was feeling, Donnie pressed forward and kissed his brother, who grew stiff.
After getting no response, Donnie pulled back and turned his attention to the floor in embarrassment. It was a few moments later that he felt cool fingers press at his chin, moving his face so that he was looking up at his brother and he was pulled forward into another kiss.
The kiss was slow and sensual, both not sure of it, but knowing that they wanted it. There was some guilt on Leo's side, this wasn't the turtle that he loved, he was betraying the one he loved, using his replacement to make himself feel better, but Donnie was responding to him, he had initiated the first kiss, he wanted it as much as Leo did. Donnie was feeling slightly embarrassed from the previous kiss, but the fact that Leo had initiated this one and seemed to be enjoying it, thrilled him.
After a few minutes they pulled apart and pressed their foreheads against each other as they caught their breath.
"I think that you need to have a conversation with your Leo," Leo said, chuckling slightly, making Donnie chuckle as well.
"I think that I do."
There was a few moments of silence between the two before they pulled away, but Leo took a hold of Donnie's hand, squeezing it slightly.
"Thank you."
"Hm?"
"For helping me realise what an idiot I was being, I didn't mean to put the blame on you, or even on myself, I just needed...some explanation," Leo sighed.
Leo never found his answer as he died in their battle with the Shredder. Donnie didn't really believe in an afterlife, but he hoped that if Donatello had died in the past thirty years, that he and Leo were able to find each other again. It wasn't long after the battle that Donnie had been pulled back home, and as soon as things were calm and well at home he made the decision to talk to Leo about his new found feelings.
"Leo?" He asked, standing in the open doorway of his brother's room.
"Hm?" Leo hummed from his place near his bookshelf.
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course, come in." Leo said, so Donnie walked in, closing the door behind him and they both sat at the edge of Leo's bed. "Is this about where you were sent?"
"Yes and no...I was sent to an alternative future, where I had disappeared thirty years earlier and the Shredder ruled over the planet. I helped that version of you guys defeat the Shredder...but they died in the battle...and then I was dragged back here," Donnie explained. "During my time there, before the fight with the Shredder, I found out that Raph and Mikey were...in a relationship," Leo's brows raised slightly but otherwise his expression didn't change.
"Their Leo and Don were also in a relationship, Leo blamed himself for Don's disappearance and when I tried to get Leo to feel better, I kissed him...and I liked it and it made me realise that maybe I should talk to you about..these feelings," Donnie rambled.
"Feelings?" Leo echoed.
"I don't know what they are, but...I want to explore this...with you...if you want to," Donnie blushed and looked down at his lap.
"Donatello, can I confess something to you?" Leo asked and Donnie looked back towards his brother.
"Of course."
"I've been in love with you for years," Leo confessed and Donnie's eyes widened, "I was afraid you didn't feel the same way so I've kept my feelings to myself, but I would like to give us a try," Leo smiled and Donnie smiled back at him. Moving forward, they met for a kiss, a short and sweet one but the first of many.
Although Donnie had felt like he had been dragged through hell and back being sent into that parallel world, he was able to discover something that he hoped would keep him grounded and would never let anything like that future happen to them.