Chapter 1: Not gone, but forgotten

It was cold, it was always cold, every night for the last five months. Juvia could feel an almost icy flow moving throughout her body and once the cold came, so did the dreams. Icy chains, racing thoughts, burning pains, sinister laughs, and pale faces. Then with one swift blow it would be over. She would hear the most distant piercing scream, and for a brief moment feel a clutch of warmth, but from where she didn't know. Juvia knew that there were two other people in these dreams with her, but they were hidden, and no matter how hard she tried to change her dream or see these figures she couldn't. Then she'd wake up, shaken and exhausted, never sure what to make of the night's slumber.

The sound of the ocean waves could be heard outside her window and she slowly rolled out of bed to open the curtains and bask in the sunlight they hid from her room. The sky was a rich shade of blue and there were but a few clouds in the distance which meant no rain! It would be a good day, it had too, because today Juvia was going to go out on her own, and she was very nervous. Juvia looked down towards her abdomen, a giant scar stretched along her left side, finally healed into her skin with no bruising left to show. Moving towards the mirror Juvia examined the rest of her body, it looked good considering she was almost wrapped from head to toe many months ago. Now if she could only remember how she ended up injured in the first place?

"Juvia? Come have breakfast before you go dear!" A soft little voice chimed from the other room. Juvia smiled and quickly got dressed, her stomach urging her to the kitchen as the smell of pancakes entered her door.

Juvia walked in to see an elderly couple busying themselves about the room. Mr. & Mrs. Taki-san had been taking care of her and she couldn't have been more indebted to them. They owned a small house near Akane beach, the area was more quiet and secluded here which benefited them very much. Mr. Taki-san was a fisherman, and Mrs. Taki-san made many jewelry items out of the many things that washed onto the shore, which is where they found Juvia. They told her that when they found her she was barely alive, holding on to whatever magic and power she had left. She hadn't spoken for weeks until her injuries began to heal, and when she did all she could remember was her name and that she was a water mage. So they helped Juvia get stronger, and in return she used her magic to help them collect food, water, and other resources. But Juvia decided it was time to leave, maybe see if she can find out what happened to her or even remember who she was. She had to have a life? Friends, family, a job maybe? As she sat there lost in her thoughts Taki-san sat down a hot cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes in front of her.

"Thank you Mr & Mrs Taki-san! Juvia is so grateful!" Juvia cheered taking a bite

"Of course dear! We only wish we could do more to help you through this difficult time." Taki-san smiled and hugged his wife while she sat next to Juvia. They really were an adorable pair, and Juvia hoped maybe she could also find love like that someday.

After breakfast Juvia gathered up the rest of her things, and was ready to head to the nearest train station, she wasn't really sure where she was going, but it seemed a good place to start. She hugged Taki-sans and told them she would write often once she was settled. They waved her off as she headed down the road into the unknown, but Juvia hoped it would lead to a place she could call home.

Why did these past five months feel like fifty years to me? Every day felt like four, every week felt like six, and not once did I stop thinking about her, Juvia. I knew she was dead, she died in my arms after sacrificing herself to save me. I remember every moment, every detail, I dream about every night when I can't find Wendy to make them go away. Sometimes though, a part of me doesn't mind the dreams, because at least then I can see her again, I can hold her again. I told myself I'd get better, that I'd be stronger for her and everyone else and not blame myself, but it was hard. What's even worse is that a small part of me doesn't feel like she's really gone. I never found her body after the war with END. I searched everywhere, hoping to give her a proper and respected burial, the whole guild even helped me look and we never found her. Natsu thought that maybe this meant there was a chance she lived, and in the beginning a lot of people believed this, even me. However, it's been five months, if she was alive why wouldn't she come home to Fairytail, to her family, to me?

Team Natsu dragged me on as many jobs as they could, always making sure they could keep an eye on me, they even took turns visiting me at my house just to make sure I ate. They knew how much Juvia meant to me, even before I knew it myself and that's what I regret the most. Not telling Juvia what she really meant to me, I always knew, even if I didn't want to admit it, and that's what kills me. She deserved better, she deserved a person who would make her feel as loved as she made everyone else. Sometimes when I wake up drenched in sweat from the memories I'll pray, something I didn't used to do, and I tell god that if there is the smallest chance that she was alive that I would make up for all the things I didn't do. It's a stupid act I know, but Juvia told me to keep going, so as much as I hate it, I do what I have to do to survive everyday.

I was sitting in the guild hall, listening to Natsu and Lucy arguing over the next job they were going to take. Looking around you would think Fairy Tail was back to normal, but only those who knew the effect Juvia had on others could tell the difference. Everyone moved slower, smiles and even arguments like the one in front of Gray happened only so often anymore. Which is why he gives them a small smile, which immediately gets their attention.

"Haven't seen that face in a while Gray." Lucy gave a small smile in his direction.

"Yeah?" Gray said.

"Yeah we miss it! Makes you look less like a frozen popsicle!" Natsu chimed in taking his chance to maybe throw in a joke to keep the smile going.

"Did someone say Gray and smile in the same sentence?" Erza asked, walking towards the table with Wendy and Carla in tow.

"Now come on, it's not that big of a deal." Gray groutched blushing a bit.

"Careful Icepick you'll melt if you stay red like that." "Gajeel!" Levy smacked Gajeel in the shoulder as they took a seat in the same booth as Lucy and Natsu.

"Yeah well what do you know you bucket of iron." Gray smirked and Gajeel returned the jesture.

No one said anymore, in fact it seemed everyone took a moment to sit there and observe each other, and then Wendy put her hand in the middle of the table. Erza smiled and did the same, and soon everyone had put in their hands radiating their magic waiting for Gray. To be honest, Gray could have shed a tear, staring at his guildmates right then. Letting him know in very few words that they understood what he'd been going through. "We miss her too." Wendy softly spoke, and Gray reached out his hand across the table and set it upon the others. Everyones powers created such a calming energy that Gray could feel his soul healing. The effect seemed universal and everyone started talking about casual things again, but that was why Gray loved this guild. You never had to wallow in feelings, you got through everything together, and you would move on together.

"Mira I think everyone deserves a drink!" Cana shouted through the guild hall and everyone cheered. As everyone made their way to the bar no one immediately noticed the small figure that had walked into the guild hall. As Gray was helping Natsu pass out drinks, he heard a voice he never thought he'd hear again.

"Excuse me?" The room halted into silence and all eyes fixated on the person in behind them.

"Hello, I'm looking for some possible work? I'm a water mage and my name is-"

"Juvia?" The glass fell from Grays hands and shattered at the women before him.