It happened all of a sudden, the stream of tears rushing down his face. He hadn't even realized he was crying until Hinata reached over and wiped his cheek. He gently grabbed her hand, and in a beat of courage, she interlaced her fingers in his.
Since the culmination of the war, the pair had gotten closer. His hand always reached out towards hers for comfort, even when he didn't notice. Even when he knew he shouldn't. It was selfish, self-indulgent...
He just couldn't understand why she was always in his head, even when she wasn't supposed to be.
"I-I'm okay" He murmured, hoping he didn't wake anyone in the Hyuga household.
It was late after all, too late for him to be visiting. But, alas, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He was unable to do anything but play what had happened in the war on a loop in his head. His throbbing arm a physical reminder that he was just not okay, even as much as he pretended to be.
"Naruto-Kun..."
He shook his head, "Just let me...just let me sit here with you. That's all I need."
Naruto wanted to let his mind go blank, to take advantage of the wave of calm that washed over him as he felt her skin against his, but he kept wondering why it was that this was the only way he found repose from his scary thoughts.
He thought back to what he had discussed with Shikamaru a few days back.
As he laid in the grass, the sun warm upon his face, his observant friend had made a quip about how all Naruto did was spend his time with Hyuga heiress, and whether or not he was going to make a move.
Naruto, being Naruto, furrowed his brow and reassured Shikamaru that he and Hinata were just friends. Even so, though, he just didn't quite understand what he felt for her. All he knew was that he wanted to be near her at all times.
Shikamaru didn't bother looking at him as he smirked and said, "You're like a duckling, Naruto. You imprinted on her."
"A duckling?" Naruto sighed, "Sometimes I really don't know what to make of the shit you say."
"Everything that happened...it was...really messed up, to say the least," Shikamaru took a cigarette from the pouch on his side and lit it, taking a long drag before continuing, "Hinata was there for you...she's been there by you through it all. It's only natural that you look to her for safety and comfort, especially now."
Naruto took a breath, "You've been reading Sai's psychology books haven't you? He tried to diagnose me the other day too."
Shikamaru shook his head, "All I'm saying is what you're feeling is normal. If being by her side is what's keeping you steady, maybe you shouldn't question it. I don't think you're in a state of mind to be working all of that out."
"What would "all of that" be?"
"When you're ready you'll know."
Naruto breathed in and tried to compose himself, but it seemed that this time, the tears just didn't want to stop flowing. Between what he felt for Hinata and the weight of everything that had happened six months ago, his mind and body were about to give out.
He thought he would've been okay by now. His arm was healing, his wounds were nearly non-existent. Battle scars were fading upon his skin, just as they were on hers. So he didn't understand why it was that when nighttime fell and he closed his eyes, all he saw was death.
Wouldn't his mind heal as well?
"Naruto-Kun?"
He looked up to meet her gaze, inquisitive eyes asking the question she couldn't quite seem to muster the courage to ask. Still, she managed to finally utter, "D-did you have that dream again?"
"Hinata...I—"
A door opened behind them, startling them both. Still, though, their hands remained linked upon Hinata's kitchen table, as a teary-eyed Naruto looked up to see Hiashi Hyuga, the head of the Hyuga clan, standing directly behind Hinata.
The elder Hyuga said nothing, simply nodded, and continued on his way back to his room. Naruto swore he saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes as well.
It seemed to be that way for everyone, regardless of the fact the war had been won.
"I'm sorry," He whispered, "Your dad must be tired of seeing me around."
She smiled sweetly and assured him, "Never. You know everyone enjoys seeing you around here."
"I wish I could come around more often. This is the only place I can really get away from it all, you know?"
"You're always welcome here, Naruto-Kun."
Naruto breathed out in relief. Her words the only thing he needed to bring him back from the brink of despair. He needed to remember that he wasn't alone anymore, he didn't have to suffer through whatever it was he was going through by himself. Hinata had nursed him through the worst of it, laughed with him through the best. Fought with him, even when he told her not to risk her life for him.
She was his comfort, his joy, his everything. Even if he didn't see it, even if he didn't understand it.
"You know, it's weird," He sniffled, "Ever since the war, I just can't stop thinking about you."
"W-what?" She blushed and looked away, unable to meet his stare.
"I don't know, you're just...in my head...even when you're not supposed to be. I think I'm depending on you too much, Hinata. Sometimes...I can't even go to bed until I hear your voice."
"O-oh."
"Isn't that too much to ask for from a friend?"
Slowly Hinata had been getting redder, her face nearly aflame at this point. Still, though, he didn't understand why. She had always been a stuttering mess in the past anyways, maybe he had just taken her by surprise.
"Naruto...that's what friends are for," She managed to say, squeezing his hand tightly, "Whenever you have a bad dream, or a horrible day, or if you just need me to help you run an errand, you can count on me. You...you know that."
"Yeah?"
She nodded, "Of course."
"D-do you ever feel this way?"
Hinata cleared her throat, "I think we all do."
"Will it ever pass?"
She traced a scar that ran from his wrist to his palm and bit her lip as she said, "I think in time...it'll hurt a little less. Like these wounds, like your arm. But it'll heal...at least, I hope."
"Do you miss him?" He asked, referring to Neji. He still couldn't bear to say his name.
"Every day."
Naruto stayed quiet for a second, letting it all kind of sink it. Finally, he managed to tell her, "If you ever feel sad, tell me. Okay? I want to be there for you like you are for me."
He wanted her to find comfort in him as well. It was the least he could offer. Really, at the moment, it was all he had to give her.
"Okay."
"But I mean it, Hinata. None of that hiding your feelings crap, okay?" He chuckled as he wiped his still damp cheeks.
She laughed as well, wanting to reassure him, "I promise I'll tell you."
"Good...now...any chance there's some of that sweet bread you had lying around yesterday?"
"Appetite is back?"
"I'm starving."
"I'll fix you something," She said as she got up and squeezed his shoulder. She'd leave it at that, letting him feel what he had to and treating him like he wasn't broken.
He would never be able to repay her for everything she'd done for him, but he'd try.
"Hinata?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"It's just bread, Naruto-Kun," She said, serving him a slice on a white plate.
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean?"
He wanted to explain, but didn't know where to start. He didn't even know what he wanted to say, what he felt. He was a jumble of confusion.
"Never mind," He mumbled, grabbing the bread and biting into it, "Don't worry about it."
One day he'd figure it all out. Until then, he'd just keep trying to make it through.