If you ask Addison about what she thinks about Christmas, she'll immediately tell you that it's magical; from the winter snow falling almost magically to the children being excited about meeting Santa to decorating and well, to straight up planning and lounging with her husband – Well, that is if you ask Manhattan Addison. Her perception has changed a lot since that cold December Seattle night with Derek.
She went from being the most excited person for Christmas to a person that drowns herself in wine while watching sappy Christmas movies (and her and Derek's wedding video, if she feels extra sappy). People in LA knows that about her, especially Jake.
Her incredible husband that notices her and cares for her a lot and at first, he really didn't think that much about it. He, himself is not a Christmas person. Jake of course celebrates it but not in a grand way, he thinks it's an overkill when you make these bizarre Christmas plans; from wearing Christmas sweaters to very old Christmas traditions like playing Christmas music everywhere you go. But still, now that he and Addison are married, it bothers him – because one look at her, he knows that the season is upsetting her.
"Sweetheart, where are you going?" He asks groggily on the morning of December 21st, she's already dressed in her work clothes and seems to be in a rush.
She turned to look at her husband as she puts on a diamond stud on her ear, "I'm going to work. You should probably go back to sleep, your first patient doesn't come until noon, right?"
"Yeah," He confirms as he sits up in bed, "and so does yours. Addison, come back to bed. You need to rest; you were up because of a late surgery last night. Plus, I want you and our little Spring baby in our bed."
After failed rounds of IVF, for some miraculous reason – or maybe it's because it's just meant to be – Addison and Jake were able to conceive the newest addition to their little family. And they're cautiously ecstatic about it, especially Jake. Everyone in the practice thought Addison would be the overthinker in this situation but surprisingly, they're wrong. Jake became very protective of Addison ever since they found out she was pregnant; he wouldn't even let her do the slightest chores like cooking (not that he fully trusted her with their kitchen before the pregnancy).
"Sweetheart, come back to bed with me." He says softly as he walked towards where his wife was standing, taking her hand and leading her back to their bed.
Addison sighs as she sits at the edge of the bed right next to her husband, "I know that baby Reilly and I needs to rest right now, get some extra sleep. I'm sorry, Honey, I guess I just want to keep myself busy. But you're right, I'll just take my clothes off and go back to bed." She says as she stands up and immediately starts undressing.
"You trust me to keep my hands off you wearing only that?" He teases her lingerie-clad form, trying to ease the tension between them.
"Well, you just said that you wanted me to rest," She smirks as they climb in their sides of the bed, "and not keeping your hands off me would be contradicting to that. You're gonna wore me out, you know that."
"Well there's a difference between wore out and wore out." They both laugh at that but there was a mischievous glint in Addison's eyes that Jake caught.
"You don't really want me to take my hands off you, do you?" He asks her as Addison snuggles on his side.
"No, I don't," She retorts as she moves away from him, facing the other side of the bed so her back faces him, "I actually want a very hard backrub from you."
"A backrub for Mrs. Reilly? Coming right up." He laughs as he moves towards his wife, moving his hands on her lower back as he presses it gently. With Addison being six months pregnant, she's getting very uncomfortable so they make it to a point that once a day, Jake gives her a backrub.
They stay like this for a while, in comfortable silence, just soaking up each other's presence. Addison's body relaxes to Jake's touch, but Jake knows that his wife is anything but relaxed right now.
The first year they celebrated Christmas together, he didn't think much of it but now, he can clearly see what his wife is doing – and even if he wasn't there to see it, he knew that she did the same thing during her Christmases without him. Addison is a workaholic; everybody knows that but she's not the type of person to skip the holidays for work. Had it been Thanksgiving or New Year's, she'd be the most festive person but the Christmas is just different. Jake of course, knows why it's different.
She'd drunkenly told him that story when they were in Palm Springs. And he soberly listened to the horrifying stunt that her ex-husband did to her on their favorite season.
"So, uh…" Jake begins as he stops rubbing her back, wrapping his arms around her bump from behind. "What's are plan for Christmas this year?"
He hears the wheels in his wife's head turn and the huff that escapes her throat, "I don't know. Let's just keep it lowkey, I guess. You decide."
"Okay," He murmurs as he holds his wife tighter, his chin resting on her shoulders, "but if you want to plan something…"
"I don't," She interrupts harshly before her voice softens, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just tired. Let's just sleep, okay? Let's talk about it later."
He nods before kissing the side of her neck. They're going to talk about it later, they always talk about everything.
xxx
Well, maybe they don't because as Jake looks around the three women eyeing him curiously as they all sat around the fourth-floor break room, he feels lost. It's already December 23rd and Jake has no idea on what to do for Christmas because they didn't talk about it later as she said.
"Maybe you could dress up as a sexy Santa Claus and give her some loving," Charlotte suggests and Naomi and Violet share an amused look, "What? It's a great idea."
"Yes, it is. It would be if Addison wasn't six months pregnant. Kinky inappropriate Christmas sex would probably be the last thing in her head right now." Violet counters, also thinking of an idea to help Jake.
"From what I know, she likes sappy Christmas movies, just buy her some of that and maybe some wine. Oh, right, she can't drink wine." She backpedals, realizing that she just contradicted to her previous point.
Jake sighs as he too runs out of ideas, "The sappy Christmas could be a maybe but the plan is to make her at least tolerate the idea of Christmas, not make it sadder. She's been doing that for years; I want to make it better for her."
"I guess you're right, but Jake, you do know that in order for Addison to fully let go that memory she's going to have to face Christmas like she used to." Violet says. He knows that she's right, but Jake doesn't really know how Addison celebrated Christmas before.
Addison and him never talked about that and from the drunken story that he got, all he got was Christmas catalogs, hot-buttered rum and lambswool blanket from Edinburgh. Oh, and Addison was murmuring the words plain or plaid over and over again.
"Naomi?" He turns to his wife's best friend of 20 years who has been awfully quiet throughout the conversation.
She shrugs nonchalantly, "Addison wasn't really a Christmas person but Addison-and-Derek were, probably because Addison adopted Derek's family's tradition. I've seen enough Shepherds Christmases before and let me tell you something, it was festive. It's like if Christmas threw up all over a person."
"I get the idea, but what do you mean?"
"Addison used to love decorating but she's pregnant so you probably should do that on your own. But, there are some things that you can do together – Christmas shopping with Christmas catalogs while drinking Christmassy drinks," Naomi takes a deep breath as if she's holding onto something, "but Jake, if you really want to do this for Addison, you might need help from a Shepherd."
"I'll call Amelia." He reaches for his phone but Naomi shakes her head vehemently.
"Don't call Amelia, nor Derek. Call their mom." The three other people in the room look at Naomi in confusion.
"How is calling her ex-mother-in-law going to help Addison's Christmas allergy? From what Addison told me, that woman hates her." Violet interjects. She too has heard a fair-share of Christmas stories from Addison, probably more than Jake has heard.
"The plain or plaid blanket, Addison never got to give that to her." Jake and Violet share a knowing glance while Charlotte continues to look at her co-workers with a mixture of confusion and amusement.
"So, let me get this straight, you interrupted our lunch break to buy a blanket for a woman who doesn't even like your wife?"
xxx
By the time Addison comes home the next day, it was already nighttime. It was Christmas Eve and all she wanted to do was to lay on the couch, eat ice cream and watch It's a Wonderful Life – it was her favorite Christmas movie (something that never changed even after that night in Seattle). She's celebrated this way since she moved to LA but she also knows that some things have changed, she has a child and a husband so she's going to make some adjustments – whatever Jake has planned since she told him that he's in charge of Christmas.
What she didn't know though is that as she opens the door to her house, she'll also open the door to her past – her California beach house closely resembles the way her Central Park Brownstone looked like during Christmas (though she wouldn't choose these decorations, it felt the same, both houses looked like an explosion of Christmas). She swallows the lump beginning to form in her throat as she enters the living room, finding Jake sitting on the couch would what she would think is hot chocolate and a bunch of glossy Christmas catalogs.
"Where's Henry?" She asks, purposefully ignoring the look that her husband is giving her. She knows that Jake knows he made her slightly uncomfortable and now, he's looking at her apologetically.
He pulls her hand, making her sit next to him on the couch, "Violet volunteered to take him for tonight so we could do our Christmas shopping. Don't worry though, we'll pick him up at midnight so we can celebrate Christmas together."
"I, uh, I think I'm just going to go to bed. Wake me up when it's time to pick him up. Jake…" She starts to stand up but Jake gripped on her arm, preventing her to leave.
"Addison, come sit with me for a while. Or at least give the gift that someone sent for you." He bargains and Addison feels her resolve softening.
"It's just Christmas Eve, we can't open gifts until midnight." She reasons and he gives her an amused look.
"Addison, you're an adult and those rules don't apply to you anymore. Besides," He continues, "when have you ever followed rules?"
"I follow rules," She defends, "especially Christmas rules."
He snorts at that, "Yeah, you do. If you're not avoiding Christmas like a plague that is."
"I do not!" She jabs his arm playfully. It's true though, she's been avoiding Christmas like a plague since the divorce.
"Baby…" He says gently, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and letting the other one rest on her bump.
"Okay, maybe I have. Fine, I definitely do," She backpedals as her husband raises his eyebrow, "but I just, I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's because Christmas is intimately tied to Derek and I don't want to ruin your Christmas because of my past."
"I know that," He says as he pulls her closer to him, "but just so you know, you're not ruining Christmas for me. If anything, you're completing it. You're fixing it. I was never a Christmas type of guy but spending it with you, makes me become one. Even if your Christmas traditions are eating a carton of coffee flavored ice cream and watching the sappiest Christmas movies that I've ever seen."
She chuckles softly before growing serious, "So, uh, you said something about a gift?"
"Yeah." Jake grins as wife's face glows under the Christmas lights. He reaches for a beautifully wrapped present on top of their coffee table, handing the gift to Addison, "Open it."
Tears started forming in her eyes as she opens the gift – technically it wasn't for her, it was a pink plaid lambswool baby blanket with the initials NER embroidered on it. Jake doesn't have to ask her; he knows that she knows who sent the gift. It's from Carolyn Shepherd, the woman who Addison called mom for 11 years.
Embroidered baby blankets were Carolyn's signature, Addison had seen Carolyn give other Shepherd grandchildren baby blankets over the years – admittedly, Addison always thought she'd get one as well. She just didn't expect that even after everything that happened between her and Derek, that her thoughts would come true. Especially after Derek finally admitted that his mother never liked her.
"She, uh, she sent you a letter too." Jake interrupts he thoughts, handing her a folded piece of paper in exchange of the baby blanket.
She opens it as she sniffs a little.
Dearest Addison,
I know you and I have never gotten a proper chance for a relationship and admittedly, it's my fault. I never liked you for Derek, I've always thought that you were spoiled and wrong for him. And well, what happened between the two of you, it hurt me but I've seen how you loved him and fought hard to prove yourself. Amelia told me all the things you've done for her so, I want to thank you for being there for her. And I also want to send my late condolences for Bizzy, I've always sensed that you and your mother didn't have a loving relationship but I can't imagine how hard it was for you to lose her. Maybe it's because time has healed all wounds, but I just want to say that if you still want that chance to have a mother-daughter relationship that we never got, I'm only one call away. Or maybe I can visit if you want me to. And I'm not doing this to replace Bizzy, I'm saying this because you deserve a chance. I forgive you, sweetheart. Have a merry little Christmas, Addison!
Love, Carolyn Shepherd
Addison lifts her head, turning to her husband and giving him a tearful smile, "Thank you."
"She's right you know, you deserve a chance," She nods and he wipes a few tears away from her cheeks, "and I'm not saying that you and I should make Christmas our season. I don't want that because you and I, we're not seasonal. Everyday is ours. I just want to make you love Christmas again and maybe you can teach me how to celebrate as well, you know, for our kids."
"I don't hate Christmas. It's just," She sighs before borrowing the words thrown to her on that Christmas eve, "Christmas makes you want to be with the people you love. And I love you, and our kids. So, I guess, if you want to, I can teach you and we can make our own traditions as well."
He grins widely before kissing his wife deeply and Addison responds kindly, wrapping her arms around Jake's neck. And as Jake touches her cheek softly, she knows that this Christmas Eve would be a brand-new start for her – with Jake and their family. Sheof course, wants to do things differently with Jake but still, she doesn't mind if he asks her to do things the way she used to. Because even if it's a part of her past, Jake makes everything feel new.
"So, how do we do this?" He asks as they pull apart.
She gives him a soft smile before gesturing to the stacks of catalogs and two cups of hot chocolate on their coffee table, "Let's start Christmas shopping."
"Okay," He smiles before handing her a catalogue, "who do we shop first?"
She skims through it before turning to her husband again, "Plain or Plaid?"
"What?" His brows burrow in confusion.
"I want to shop for mom first." And Addison grins widely at that. Mom. She's always wondered how it would feel like to have a mother like her.
"Plaid, red plaid. Uh, Addison…" Jake says softly as he takes in the sheer happiness in his wife's eyes.
"Yeah?"
"It wasn't on the letter but when I called her, she told me to tell you that she wants to invite us for Christmas next year and if it's okay, she wants us to send her a photo of the baby once you give birth." Addison's smile grew wider at this. It's probably the best Christmas gift she ever got, forgiveness and another chance.
"I'd love that."
Jake smiles warmly at her, "Yeah me too."
The two of them continue their Christmas shopping with the occasional argument on who has better taste. They both do (Addison knows this, she's just naturally competitive when it comes to Jake). Laughs and jokes were made as Jake suggested to buy a set of Christmas pillows and give them to Violet for whenever she asks to sleep in between Addison and Jake. And as Addison points to an Olaf and Anna stuffed-toy for their Spring baby and Henry, Jake's face softens. Addison loves that baby but I love her even more than that – it always amazes Jake on how a wonderful mother his wife was.
Once they finish shopping for their families and the people at the practice, Addison stands up and moves towards the tree. She eyed it critically, taking in every detail of it. Her husband did a great job in decorating, of course he did, his hands work like magic.
"I thought we've agreed about Christmas?" He laughs as his wife takes a branch off the fake tree that he bought.
"We did." She shrugs nonchalantly as she motioned Jake to where she was standing. "Come here."
He stands up from his place from the couch and walks towards his wife, smiling widely as she raises the branch in between them, "Trying to get a kiss from me, I see."
"Hey, it's a Christmas rule. When two people are put under the mistletoe…" But she doesn't get to finish what she was going to say because he was kissing her. The tree branch fell on the floor as Addison wrapped her arms around Jake's neck, him holding her securely by the waist.
Their kiss started off slow until it became more heated. And as they fumble to undress each other as quickly as they can, Addison thanks her lucky stars for giving her Jake. He gently eases her on the floor, being extra careful about squashing their baby. She calls out his name as he enters her.
"Addison," He breathes as he pulls away slightly.
"Hmm?"
"Merry Christmas."
She smiles softly at him, "Merry Christmas, Honey."
xxx
Their bodies glistened under the tree; they can't deny the afterglow that is enveloping them. This December night, they know that they had created their own Christmas tradition – doing each other under the Christmas tree.
Jake's face softens as he feels feathered kicks on the palm of his hand. Him and Addison are laying on their sides, facing each other. Addison's hands kept brushing Jake's arm and Jake had his hands protectively on their daughter. They lie like that for a few more moments until Addison notices the clock – 11:30 PM.
"Honey?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we should get dressed, it's almost midnight." She says she tries to untangle herself from Jake's hands.
"A few more minutes." He says, pulling her closer to him. Jake knows they'd have to leave eventually to get Henry so they could celebrate Christmas as a family but he can't help himself from wanting to spend time with just his wife. After all, this would be their last Christmas before becoming parents of two.
"I'm glad we did this," She whispers, cutting off Jake's thoughts as she settles herself on his chest.
He smiles on her hair before murmuring, "Christmas makes you want to be with the people you love. Actually, all the days do."
"I love you too, Jake." She smiles, pressing a kiss on his chest, right above his heart.
They settle in complete silence again, both thinking that this Christmas is the best Christmas they ever had. It may not be extravagant or grand but in the grand schemes of their life, the most important thing is that they have each other. And knowing that Addison may have never got the gift of forgiveness and another chance that night, Jake is happy. Because, in some other way, he was able to deliver that for her.
Christmas makes you want to be with the people you love so even if they both aren't big fans of this season; they'd still be merry because they were with each other.
xxx
So, I guess I'll explain some things:
1. The time-frame is the same year as the finale season, Addison got pregnant while Naomi was 6 months pregnant since the Sam-and-Naomi baby was conceived in January.
2. This story is connected to All Through The Night, so the baby that Addison is carrying in this story is Nina.
3. I don't believe that Derek's mother would always hate Addison, so I gave them a chance here.
4. I love the idea of Jake and Addison doing Christmas shopping so I adopted it here.
5. "Christmas makes you want to be with the people you love." That line would always break my heart and I wanted to somehow make a good memory out of it.
I hope you enjoyed reading! Also, should I make Jake helping Addison through times like this a series?