Twilight belongs to Stephine Meyer. NOT me. I just played with the characters.
Blowing his last drag from his cigarette, Paul watched the pack joke and have fun. He didn't want to be here. Nope. Not at all. But his 'Alpha' and the rest thought it would be better for him. He snorted and dropped what was left on the cigarette on the ground and snuffed it out with his bare heel. What did these assholes know about him? Not a fucking thing. He used to be happy like that. Used to be in love. All the pack had imprinted. Yes, even him. However, his happily ever after cut out his heart with a dull spoon and fed it to him after it had been pureed. Fucking bitch.
He growled and slumped against a tree before sliding down to the ground. For a moment, he thought about taking off but then he felt the alpha order weigh him down. Fucking alpha. Sam had to order him out here. To be social, he said. Bullshit. He didn't want to be sociable. He wanted to be alone. But did they care? Hell no. They were all worried about him. Why? They didn't know him. They didn't know what it felt like to have your soul ripped from your pores and stamped on with cleats. He just wanted to wallow in his misery alone, chugging the Rez's strongest moonshine he could find.
A feminine laugh brought him out of his musings. Paul looked over and saw Quil chasing his imprint, Jessica Stanley. She was actually decent once she got away from that skank, whatsherface? Oh yeah, Laurell...Lauren...something like that. Anyway, didn't matter now.
He turned his attention back to the rest of the pack. Sam sat with Leah in his lap, their new wedding rings glimmering in the fire light. They had just returned from their honeymoon. High school sweethearts turned into the perfect married couple.
Embry was sitting as close to his girl, Emily as he could. Both were still too shy to be all over each other in public, but you could still see it. Emily had come into town to help Leah plan her wedding to Sam. Embry came over to deliver something or other and BAM! Emily was now pack. Leah was thrilled to death.
Jake was sitting there with, Paul rolled his eyes, Bella. He hated her with a passion. Fucking leech lover. He knew without a doubt that if they ever came back, she would be running back to them with open arms. Then Jake would have to feel what he was going through. He and Jake may not get along, but he wouldn't wish this kind of pain on him. He also had a feeling that Jake knew it too.
Jared sat there laughing with his arm thrown around his girl, Kim. Jared had been thrown for a loop when he imprinted on her. Paul remembered him having the biggest crush on her back in elementary and on up. Floored the poor guy even more when she told him that she had a crush on him as well. Needless to say that they have been practically inseparable ever since.
Seth sat on the ground, his arms hanging over Angela Weber's legs. Angela had come back home from college on spring break and her plus Bella and Jessica wanted to hang out. So they made plans to hang out at the beach and Jake sent poor Seth to watch over the girls. He took one look at the tall quiet girl and the rest is history. When she went back to college, Seth walked around looking like someone had kicked him in the gut. Apparently, it wasn't easy on Angela either. It didn't take her long to transfer closer and take as many classes as she could online.
Then there was him. Sitting as far away from the group as he could. He hated watching all the happy couples. Made him want to vomit. He rested his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. He tried counting the seconds till the order would lift and he could get the hell out of there. But his mind wanted to take him down memory lane. Fucking traitorous bastard.
Spring Break: One Year Ago
"Here, Paul. Take these down to the beach for me, please?" Leah asked, pushing a cooler and picnic basket in his hands. Paul snorted and rolled his eyes but nodded as he turned and went out the door. With is wolf hearing, he could hear a few of the other wolves already at their bonfire spot.
As Paul stepped out of the trees, he could see Jacob and Quil already almost done building the bonfire. "Keep it in your pants, Quil. You know Rachel can still take you out," Jacob said as he tossed a piece of firewood at Quil's head when his back was turned.
Rubbing his head, Quil turned to look at Jake with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. "Heh, that's fine by me. But I bet once she gets her hands on me, she won't be able to let go." With that, he just had enough time to duck as another piece of wood came flying his way.
"She won't be able to let go because she will be strangling you."
Quil ended up saying something after that, but Paul had already tuned it out. It was pretty easy with those two, plus Embry. They were always picking at one another. Paul set his cargo down and lit a cigarette, pulling a long drag from it before sitting on one of the logs that surrounded the fire. Lost in his own little world watching the ocean and having his back turned to the gathering area, he hadn't paid attention to who all had shown up. Nor had he realized how long he had sat there, a few more cigarettes had been smoked, and everyone had made an appearance. But he took no notice until the voice of one Rachel Black entered his ears. The voice that caused his back to straighten, his body to tense, and his ears to perk. He felt his wolf stir within him, and he was not happy.
When he heard her laugh, he felt possessed as he turned and looked at her. She hadn't changed much from the last he saw of her. Except she had matured a bit more. But in his mind, she will always be the bitch that tormented him in his youth. Paul's lip lifted in a snarl as he was about to turn away, but he was frozen in place, her gaze locked on his. He felt his hearth sink and his wolf howl as he felt steel cables sink into his soul, tying him to her. SHE was his imprint?! He knew he wasn't a saint, but what entity did he piss off to deserve this fate?
While they were locked in a staring contest, the rest of the pack and the elder's watched in shock. They all jumped when a loud angry growl came from Paul. Sam's order not to phase fell on deaf ears as Paul's wolf made his appearance. The wolves sprang into action, barely having enough time to get in front of the elders and humans.
"Paul! Stand down!" Paul's body froze as he finally registered his alpha's command. He shook his head and looked at Rachel, then up at Sam. With a low whine he turned and ran off into the forest.
After running his fingers thru his hair, Paul angrily pulled out another cigarette. He looked down as his almost empty pack. He'd have to get some really soon. He checked his watch and groaned as he noticed not much time had went by. Instead of shoving the 'cancer sticks' as Rachel called them in his pocket he let them rest on the ground. Trying to get them out of his pocket would take too long and he had been known to break a few if he stuffed them in his pocket when he was angry, and right now, he was beyond angry.
Paul leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. Memories still floating behind his eyelids. Sam had found him shortly after he had ran off and talked him into giving the imprint a shot. After all, Sam was fully on the imprinting team. It was easy for him to be. He got the woman of his dreams. As did the rest of them. Well mostly. Paul still thought Jake would be in a world of hurt in the future.
With Sam and the rest of the pack and elders urging and support, Paul gave into the imprint and really did try. He got to know Rachel and let her get to know him. He fully put himself out there for her, but he knew she was always holding something back. He could tell through the imprint. He talked to Sam about it. But all Sam did was smile and say give her time. So he did. He ended up falling in love with her. He thought she loved him in return. He had never been more wrong.
She would constantly bitch and complain about La Push. She hated it there. She had escaped and loved the outside world, but now she was stuck back in the place she despised, and she blamed Paul for it. She was not quiet about her hatred and unhappiness either. So Paul did everything to try to make her happy. That's what a good wolf did for his imprint, right? Nothing ever helped.
One day he suggested that she take a weekend and get away. To clear her head and take a break from the 'depressing wet black hole' she called it. She jumped at the chance. Paul barely had enough time to tell her he loved her before she was packed and out the door.
That entire weekend, he felt the pull...the need to be close to her, however he stayed put. He didn't want to make things worse for her. When she came back, he greeted her with a huge smile and giant hug. He told her his missed her. He buried his face in her hair to breathe her in. He felt her tense. He thought that he was holding too tight so he loosened his hold. He kissed the top of her head and moved to get her bags, asking about her trip. She was vague but he didn't care, she was home.
After that first weekend, she started to leave more and more. Not caring about leaving her wolf behind. After all, he would always be there. She was his imprint. She had him on a leash, and she knew it.
Paul had come home early one day to surprise her. He was going to take her out. He even stopped by the florist and got her favorite flowers; Red roses. So stereotypical of both of them. Him coming home early with roses and her loving the all too common red rose. Even the strange noise coming from the house should have clued him in. It would have anyone else looking on and watching. He thought something was wrong so he rushed in to make sure his girl was okay. But what he found, was not what he thought.
Paul shook he head violently to clear his head but the thoughts and memories were firmly lodged into his brain. He had found his imprint, the woman he loved, fucking another man. She even saw him and smiled as she urged the faceless man to go harder. Paul had stood there frozen unable to process what he was seeing.
As soon as he heard her gasp in ecstasy, he smelt her release swirling in the room. A split second after that, the man came as well. Filled HIS imprint with his cum. That was the thought that snapped him out of his stupor. With a vicious snarl, Paul lunged forward and ripped the man from his woman. He began pounding his face in. Rachel was screaming and crying but Paul never heard it.
By the time the pack had pulled Paul off, the faceless man was still faceless, only now it looked like hamburger meat. Paul watched with unconcealed rage and hatred as a few of the pack drug the man out of his house and to the hospital.
The front door barely latched when Rachel jumped up and got in Paul's face. She yelled at him at the top of her lungs, as her fist pounded into his chest. He never felt it. All he paid attention to was her screaming that she hated and despised him. That she never loved him and never could. How worthless he was and that she was cursed to be his imprint. The elders and pack tried to calm her down saying she was hysterical, she continued to look at Paul with pure hatred. The last time Paul had seen that look was right before his mother took her own life and made him watch.
After what seemed like an eternity, she stopped and looked up at him. For the first time in a very long time, he was scared. Scared of what she was thinking and what she might do next. And he had the right to be, because the next thing she said would change his world forever.
Paul roared and punched the tree nearest him, turning the area where he hit into splinters. The bonfire participants jumped and looked at Paul. Watched as he fisted and pounded the dirt. His breath was labored and the wolves could smell the few tears that had managed to betray Paul and slip down his cheeks. Yet no one stood to go help him. With sighs or little shakes of the head, they all turned back to their conversations and watching the bonfire. Putting the tortured wolf in the back of their minds. Little did Paul know that they all thought he was throwing a tantrum at being made to stay there. They were unaware of the painful memories their fellow pack mate was experiencing. The night Rachel Black broke her imprint to Paul Lahote.
She had told him that he was more worthless than his drunk abusive father and his crazy mother. That she would never, ever be with him. She was leaving and not coming back. And that she was pregnant with another man's child.
He remembered that like it was yesterday. Everything her razor-like tongue said, he felt the cables tying him to her snap, pulling and crushing his soul with it. He thought he would feel free when she left. But he had loved her. Loved her so deeply. His own soul mate didn't want him.
He slipped into a deep depression for months. Allowed his anger and hatred to consume him. He still did his patrols when he was required to. Attended the meetings. Everything. Though he never said a word through it all. The pack did try to be supportive. But how could they understand? Eventually they gave up. He knew and understood it was his own fault for pushing them away. But he didn't care. He doubted he ever would again. Sam still tried though. In little ways. That's what lead him here tonight.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Paul unfurled his fists and reached down for another smoke. He needed out of this hellhole. He actually kind of understood Rachel now. This place was suffocating. And knowing that he understood her a bit, pissed him off even more. One of his hands clenched again but he took another drag and looked up at the sky. A very small smile graced his face as he felt his decision wash over him like a balm. He was leaving. As soon as the order lifted, he was going home to pack, stop by a gas station to get gas and a carton of cigarettes. Then he was going to be long gone.
An hour later, that's exactly what he did. And he didn't look back.