A/N: I started writing this fic last fall, back when my only contribution to the SwSh fandom was a single Postwick bros ficlet. At the time it was just a simple little angsty Hop piece, and quickly ballooned into this projection/character study/5+1 fic. It's very near and dear to my heart, so I wanted it to be perfect before I posted it…which is why it's taken me this long to post, haha. That, and my headcanons/understanding of Hop and Leon have changed a lot during that time, so there were a lot of edits that needed to be made.

So, without further ado, please enjoy!

Being a younger sibling means having a lot of expectations to live up to.

Lee learned to read when he was four, so I needed to learn how to read at that age, too. Lee could tie his shoes by the time he was six, so I needed to be able to tie my shoes by then, too. Lee figured out how multiplication worked when he was eight – that one, at least, wasn't something that they expected me to figure out on my own at that age. Mum taught it to me herself.

So of course, when Lee set out on the Gym Challenge at ten years old and won the Champion Cup on his first try… Well, my family expected me to be able to do the same.

I loved my brother. I admired my brother. I aspired to be my brother. But that wasn't enough to make me as good as my brother.

When my tenth birthday rolled around, I wanted to be excited about it. I loved battling; I'd watched every single one of Lee's matches, whether live or just a recording. I knew how to catch Pokémon; with a little help from Lee, I'd caught a Wooloo to be my very first partner. I was great at navigating; unlike Lee, I had a great sense of direction and could guide my family to any city in Galar without even needing to consult a map.

And there was the problem: my family wouldn't be with me on the Gym Challenge. I'd never traveled anywhere by myself before, and I'd have to do lots of that on the Gym Challenge. At least Lee had the advantage of having tons of mates who were also his rivals in the Gym Challenge, so he got to meet up with them all the time. I didn't have anyone like that.

It's not that I didn't have friends; I'd made a few in school. But it was rare for kids to take the Gym Challenge at ten years old, and none of my mates were gonna take it so early. So I would be taking the challenge alone, and…that was a scary concept.

I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I didn't want to disappoint my brother. But I was too scared to take the Gym Challenge on my own. I wasn't ready.

So, I never went out to get a Gym Leader to endorse me. Whenever Mum or Gran or Gramps brought it up, I just shrugged and changed the subject. They didn't push, but I could see the disappointment on their faces. Guess I deserved it. My eleventh birthday came and went, and I still hadn't begun my Gym Challenge.

It was the first time that I felt like a failure.

It wouldn't be the last.

It took three years for me to feel confident enough to take on the Gym Challenge.

I had practiced taking short trips on my own – to Wedgehurst to pick up Lee from the station, even going as far as Professor Magnolia's house on Route 2 once. I had practiced battling wild Pokémon with Wooloo, though we usually had to run away before the wild Pokémon knocked Wooloo out. And, most importantly, I wasn't going to be taking the challenge alone – my best mate and neighbor, Gloria, was planning to take the Gym Challenge this year, too.

Finally, I felt excited by the prospect of going on the Gym Challenge. It might have taken me longer to start than Lee, but that just meant I had more time to prepare – I was definitely going to win the Champion Cup and become the new Champion of Galar! Lee was coming home for the first time in a while, and when he did I would get an endorsement letter from him. With a letter of endorsement from the Champion himself, there was no way that I could lose! I'd become an unbeatable Champion just like my brother, and my story would be told in the history books of Galar for decades to come.

When Lee finally arrived, he brought gifts – Pokémon for both me and Glo. I had planned to help Glo catch a Pokémon of her own to show Lee that I was ready to take on the Gym Challenge now, but she obviously didn't need my help for that anymore. So I had another idea. I would battle Glo – with Lee watching, of course – and when I won my first battle against another Trainer, he would be certain to endorse me for the Gym Challenge! So, I challenged Glo to a battle.

And I lost.

I couldn't believe it. After all that studying and preparation, I lost my unbeatable streak before it had ever begun? I had two Pokémon, while Gloria only had one. I should have beaten her! How could I have lost? What did I do wrong?

"Don't worry about it, Hopscotch," Lee said, ruffling my hair. I squirmed away from the touch. Ruffling my hair, using that dumb childhood nickname – Lee still thought of me as a little kid. A little kid who wasn't ready to take on the Gym Challenge. "Everyone loses sometimes. Especially at the beginning of their journey. You'll get stronger."

You didn't, I thought bitterly. I'm not supposed to be normal. I'm supposed to be like you.

Lee was right, of course. It was just one battle; I'd have hundreds more before I became Champion. One loss was just a drop in the bucket compared to the hundreds of victories I'd acquire. Gloria had won this battle because her Pokémon had the type advantage; once I had more teammates, they could compensate for any type disadvantage. Losing this battle didn't mean that I would never become Champion.

Still, I couldn't help feeling the sting of failure. One more way that I'd never be able to measure up to my brother.

By the time I collected three Gym Badges, I'd achieved a great win count. Gym Leaders? Won every badge on the first try. Wandering Trainers? Beat them all. Other Gym Challengers? I'd fought a few, even that black-haired country chick with the crazy-obsessed fans. I defeated them all, except Glo.

Four battles with her, and I was never able to defeat her once.

She made for a good rival, always keeping me on my toes. In terms of skill, I felt like we were about equally matched. But she always managed to stay one step ahead of me – sending out Pokémon that had a type advantage against mine, and sometimes winning just on account of having more Pokémon on her team. I was glad to have a rival who inspired me to keep getting stronger, but I felt like the Raihan to her Leon, when it was supposed to be the other way around.

Still, I was learning to accept my losses with grace. I could still learn from them and make sure I did better in the next battle. Like Lee said, everyone lost sometimes. A few losses weren't that big of a deal, even if they meant I wouldn't be an unbeatable Champion like Lee.

Right?

A few losses didn't mean I was weak…right?

Maybe that depended on how bad the losses were.

"Pathetic. If this is the best that the Champion's brother can do, the Champion himself will be a pushover."

I didn't really understand how it happened. I'd been winning at first, but all of a sudden…I just couldn't seem to land a hit on Bede's Pokémon. My whole team was swept, and I hadn't been able to do anything about it.

"You're just dragging the Champion's good name through the mud with how weak you are."

How had I ever thought that I was equal in skill to Glo? She'd been able to defeat Bede with ease. I couldn't. Because I was weak.

To make things worse, when I left the Hammerlocke Pokémon Center after restoring my team to full health, I heard a familiar voice call my name. Lee was jogging up to me, smiling brightly, Champion's cape flapping in the breeze. "Hop! How goes it?"

I didn't deserve the attention of my perfect, popular brother. And he didn't deserve the embarrassment of being seen with the pathetic excuse for a sibling that I was. I needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

A desperate apology. A quick escape.

"I'm so sorry, Lee!"

He might not even understand what I was apologizing for. That was okay. He didn't need to know just how much of a failure his brother had become.

If getting stronger was like climbing a mountain, the mountain had just been frozen over. The path up was slippery, and if I tried to run up, I'd just slip and fall on my face. I second-guessed every step I took because I needed to make sure I wasn't going to lose traction again. Meanwhile, it seemed like Gloria had actual climbing gear and was scaling the mountain with ease. I wanted climbing gear like that, but I had no idea where to find it.

I couldn't give up; I was certain of that much. That would only be admitting that I was weak and could never get any better. But the longer it took for me to figure out what I needed to do to get stronger, the more I worried that I'd never be able to figure it out.

A failure like that would be the most shameful of all.

I didn't feel any satisfaction from finding out that Bede had been disqualified from the Gym Challenge. If anything, I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to rematch him in the finals and prove to him that I wasn't as weak as he claimed. But that would never happen if I couldn't get my act together and figure out what I was doing wrong.

I thought at first that I needed better type coverage, so I could super-effectively hit as many different types of Pokémon as possible. But that team got crushed as soon as we came across a Pokémon that we didn't have any type advantages against. Then I tried Pokémon that didn't necessarily have lots of type advantages but had amazing offensive or defensive stats. Yet even they had weaknesses that Trainers like Glo were easily able to exploit.

With each loss, I felt more frustrated and confused. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I be as good as Glo and Lee? How could I become the strongest Trainer if I was struggling this much with the Gym Challenge?

I was mulling over my team after my loss at the Circhester Gym when it hit me. I'd been looking at my team like a science project, like there were clearly defined criteria for the best Pokémon and strategies to use, and all I had to do to become stronger was find the right combination of them. But was there even such a thing as the "best" Pokémon or the "best" strategy? I kept second-guessing my decisions because I was afraid that they weren't the best. But if there was no such thing…it was no wonder I was so frustrated. I had been chasing after the impossible.

(Once upon a time, Lee becoming Champion had seemed like chasing the impossible, too.)

All in all, it was a huge relief for me to realize that there was no such thing as the best Pokémon. Trying to pick the best Pokémon to battle with and training them up for my team, only to lose anyways… It just wasn't fun. If I wasn't enjoying myself, then what was the point of doing the Gym Challenge in the first place? Even when I lost, I had so much fun in those early battles I fought with the Pokémon I loved. There were other Pokémon, too, that I'd caught since then, that I really enjoyed battling with. They weren't inherently the strongest, but they were my partners, and I wanted to become stronger with them by my side.

That may have been the best decision that I ever made on my journey. After I trained up all my partners, I challenged Glo to another battle – and for the first time ever, I managed to defeat her. It was an incredibly close match, but I believed in my team and they pulled through for me.

From there, I rolled through the rest of the Gym Challenge like a juggernaut, flattening all my opponents with ease. Circhester, Spikemuth, Hammerlocke – every Gym was a piece of cake to defeat. I was on cloud nine going into the Champion Cup, and I trounced my first opponent with ease. All that stood between me and my brother now was Glo and a few Gym Leader rematches. I'd beaten all of them before, so I could easily beat them again. Then, I could finally beat my brother in battle and prove to everyone that I was just as good as him.

I didn't expect to lose to Glo.

In hindsight, maybe I should have. One close victory after so many losses was the exception, not the rule. Losing to me probably motivated Glo to train extra hard to claim victory this time, while I had expected to just win again. What a stupid mistake. Of course I had to make it at the worst possible time. There were no do-overs this time. No rematches, no second chances. I was eliminated from the Champion Cup. My Gym Challenge was officially over.

I had failed.

The world, it seemed, wasn't content just to let me dwell in my shame. It had to rub it in. So of course Lee was waiting to congratulate Glo as soon as we left the locker room. Of course he invited us to dinner to celebrate Glo's victory. Of course there was a reporter in the lobby of the hotel, waiting to interview Glo about her win. Of course the reporter asked Glo what she would say to me now, as if I wasn't standing right next to them and listening to the whole conversation. I didn't feel guilty about snapping at her to go away.

Once I was alone in the privacy of my hotel room, I finally allowed myself to cry.

I wanted to be happy for Glo, I really did. She was an amazing Trainer. She never doubted herself the way I had. She was far more of a hero than I could ever be. If anyone deserved to become the new unbeatable Champion, it was Glo.

But I still wanted that to be me. I'd dreamed about it my whole life. Everyone expected me to be the next Champion. What would they think now that my failure had been broadcast for the world to see? I was supposed to be as good as Lee. But I couldn't even make it to the Champion Cup Finals.

What a failure.

Stopping the apocalypse was not one of the things on my bucket list.

Maybe calling it the apocalypse was a bit of an exaggeration. But it would definitely spell the end of Galar as we knew it if the chairman wasn't stopped. Bringing about the Darkest Day? How in the world was that supposed to protect the future of Galar?

Lee said that it was his responsibility to stop it. That made sense; he was the Champion. But watching him race out of the stadium, I didn't see the Champion running off to save the day like always. I saw my big brother rushing towards Hammerlocke alone to fight the biggest threat the region had ever faced, and that terrified me. I couldn't let my brother run into that danger alone.

But what help would I be? Hop, the failure, the eliminated Gym Challenger… It didn't matter how many encouraging things Gloria said, I knew I was useless on my own. But maybe… Maybe we could find the sword and shield Pokémon, the ones that stopped the Darkest Day all those centuries ago, and bring them to help. Then Lee wouldn't have to stop it all on his own, and I could rest easy knowing that I had finally managed to do something right.

But when we got to the Slumbering Weald, the sword and shield Pokémon – Zacian and Zamazenta, Sonia called them – were nowhere to be found. I was devastated. This was supposed to be my redeeming moment, my saving grace, my recompense for all the mistakes I'd made time and time again. Instead, all I found was a half-broken sword and a rusty old shield.

I didn't know what use they would be. They wouldn't be seeing any use as a sword or shield without some serious blacksmithing. But Gloria and I still took the sword and shield with us, if for nothing else than luck. We would have to provide Lee's backup ourselves, and I could only hope that I would be good enough.

But I wasn't.

All I had to do was beat Chairman Rose in a battle. Then he would let me up to the tower summit where Lee was fighting the Darkest Day…a Pokémon called Eternatus. I desperately wanted to get to my brother. But desperation didn't win Pokémon battles. I lost to the chairman. I had to wait there, defeated, useless, until Gloria arrived and beat him for me. Then we were finally given access to the summit.

I hated it. I hated having to rely on Glo all the time. I hated losing Pokémon battles every time it really mattered. I hated being a failure.

But I pushed aside the frustration, the anger, the self-loathing. It could wait. For now, my big brother was in trouble, and I was going to do everything in my power to help him.

It didn't surprise me that, when we got to the top of the tower, Lee told us to stay back, that he had everything under control. My big bro always preferred to take care of things by himself. And when it came to battling Pokémon, Lee always had it under control.

Except this time.

Eternatus, it seemed, didn't like being put in a plain old Poké Ball. After Lee threw the ball, it didn't even shake once. We only had a split second to react before the Poké Ball exploded, and Lee used that split second to send Charizard to protect me and Glo. As if we were the ones who needed protecting! As if he wasn't right next to the explosion! As if our safety was more important than his!

As the smoke cleared, the top half of the Poke Ball rolled to a stop at my feet. I barely had time to register Lee lying on the ground a few feet away before Eternatus's tail lashed out, striking down Lee's Charizard, our final protector. There was nothing standing between us and Eternatus now.

Lee didn't respond when I yelled his name, and I prayed he was just unconscious and not anything worse. I wanted to run to his side and check – and get him safely out of harm's way – but I didn't dare go any closer to Eternatus, not when it could smack me away just as easily as it had done to Charizard. But Gloria had my back. She sent out her Pokémon to battle Eternatus, distracting it and giving me the opportunity to get to my brother.

Thankfully, he still had a pulse. Less thankfully, he was still unresponsive, meaning I had to drag him across the rooftop myself. I made it as far as the top of the staircase before exhaustion won out, and I slumped against him on the floor.

I looked back to Glo, fighting alone against Eternatus. It was fast; it was powerful; it was intimidating. It was the kind of beast that I would have been terrified of as a kid, and Lee would have patted me on the head and assured me that I didn't have anything to worry about because he was the unbeatable Champion and would always keep me safe. But this Pokémon had beaten Lee. Those assurances held no weight anymore.

And even if I wanted to hear those assurances, empty as they were, I couldn't get them. This Pokémon had knocked Lee out cold. He couldn't reassure me now, at a time when I needed his reassurances more than ever.

Put frankly, I was terrified. Lee was injured, Gloria was fighting all by herself, and I was Galar's last line of defense against Eternatus. What a fat lot of good I was at that.

But then I remembered something Lee had said about battling in a stadium – that he got nervous, even scared sometimes, but he always pushed past the fear to give it everything he had in battle. And I realized what I needed to do.

I squeezed Lee's hand, summoned all my courage, and stood up. I wasn't Galar's best line of defense, and I wasn't a hero. But I was here, and I was going to do everything in my power to help protect the region and people I loved – whatever my help was worth.

A/N: I've always thought it would make more sense narratively speaking for Hop to win the battle against the player in Circhester, to really prove that he's gotten out of his slump and is learning to draw out the full power of his Pokémon. So that's why I let him win here.

...the fact that he loses that battle in canon, and all the other plot points in here are canon, makes me really, really sad. Poor Hop :(