Aster didn't know how to explain his dreams.
He didn't know what to make of any of them. It was puzzling, honestly, the things his mind conjured up. For a while, it was more or less a blank… nothingness. Sometimes there was something, but Aster could never quite reach it. His dreams glitched and spazzed like a broken computer, a TubeTube video that couldn't stop buffering, crashing and stuttering and restarting and playing over and over and over again. Sometimes he heard screaming, high-pitched and distorted. Other times, he heard laughter - unsettling, nasally laughter, that was reminiscent of the eerie music in those horror movies he'd catch Jasper and Steven watching now and again.
Recently, his dreams had taken an odd turn that seemed to be even more unexplainable.
He didn't like them.
(There were flashes and flickers and blood… Aster had no idea where they were, but he knew something was wrong. The entire world was off-kilter. Blood clung to his shirt, his pants, his skin - his hands were covered in it, sticky and red. His mouth felt drier than usual as he stared down. His chest was tight, tight with something like fear, cold as his gem throbbed and hummed and-
And his gem, his gem was there, on his stomach-
(It hadn't been there, not since White, not since Homeworld, not since-)
His gem was there and it was cracked, broken down the center, and though it didn't hurt, Aster could only stare in horror as the left half of it glowed, feeling like he was about to poof.
His gem was there and it was cracked and Aster didn't know where Steven was.
His gem was there and it was cracked and he was holding dust in his hands without any memory of how it got there, and his chest was still tight and pain was roaring through him like a wildfire and there were tears in his eyes and Aster genuinely couldn't remember the last time he cried and something was wrong and everything was wrong and it was Homeworld he was on Homeworld, Homeworld and the Diamonds were there and WHERE'S STEVEN-)
He burst awake in a blind panic, arching his back up off of the bed before collapsing back onto the mattress with a quiet, shaky gasp. His eyes stretched wide, pinned to the ceiling. He could almost feel the phantom thu-thump- of a heartbeat in his chest as his panic rose and fell away.
White Diamond's face flashed through his mind again.
(Her hand, moving toward him - Steven - him - Steven - her nail glinting and reflecting her own bright, glowing light emanating from the gem on her forehead and she was close, too close-)
Aster twitched, and forced himself to sit upright, digging his hands into his eyes.
The dream faded almost completely from his memory, but White Diamond's face clung to his mind and festered there like an ever-growing disease. Anger flushed through every inch of his being, a blind rage that he had long gotten used to feeling whenever he even so much as thought of the Diamonds. He could still feel her fingers pinching tight around the gem, the pressure building as she pulled, the panic as he realized what was happening and fought to heal, glowing and pulsing and stuttering out rapidly as the gem was removed from Steven's stomach. He could still remember the shock, every inch of him, every facet buzzing with horror.
He could still remember when everything had stopped…
And slowed…
And blanked…
An uncomfortable feeling crawled up his spine, tickling the back of his neck and drawing a shudder from him, as he remembered the white-hot pure unadulterated rage he had felt just a second before every single feeling was obliterated and every single thought narrowed down to-
Shatter, shatter, shatter
Kill her, kill her, kill her
Steven, Steven, Steven-
Feeling sick, Aster threw his blanket off, away from him, and climbed down from his bed, as that feeling skittered back down his spine to settle in and tickle the bottom of his stomach instead.
A suppressed impulse to run spasmed through his muscles. Run from what, he didn't know.
Run to something, maybe.
Something was wrong…
"Aster?" Steven's voice reached his ears from down the hall, managing to sound worried.
"Coming," Aster called back, and banished the traitorous thoughts from his mind as his stomach tingled again, a sickening sensation that left him spiraling. For now, he struggled to move past it, intent on getting to his brother. He was sure he'd be fine once he was in Steven's presence; the nightmare and the memories would effectively diminish into the same contentment he'd found himself wrapped up in since his brother's release from the facility. Everything would be fine.
… and if not, Aster might have an appointment of his own to make.