"Kids! Come and get your dinner!" Linda shouted.
Tina, Gene and Louise walked into the kitchen and took their seats at the table.
"Hey, Mom, Dad, why is there a guy who looks like Jimmy Pesto on Twitter?" Gene asked.
"Because Jimmy Pesto's probably on Twitter to try and boost his business." Bob said.
"Oooh do you think maybe we should get a Twitter?" Linda asked. "To promote the restaurant?"
"You know, that's not a bad idea, actually-"
"No, Dad, remember the attack on the Capitol two months ago?" Tina asked.
"Of course I remember." Bob took his seat at the table. "How could I forget."
"Well, the FBI has been sharing photos of insurrectionists since then." Louise said, playing with the food on her plate with her fork. "And one of them looks suspiciously like Jimmy Pesto."
"Wait, Louise, how do you know that?" Bob asked. "You're not on Twitter, are you?"
"Dad, Dad, Dad." Louise chuckled innocently. "That's not the most important thing here."
"Yeah!" Gene said, mouth full of food. "Jimmy Pesto's in trouble with the FBI!"
"It might not be him." Tina reasoned. "It might just be someone who looks like him."
"Ooh, I wanna see this Jimmy Pesto lookalike!" Linda said excitedly. "Let me see him."
Louise slid from her seat.
"Where are you going?" Bob asked.
"I'm going to show Mom the photos the FBI are circulating of Jimmy Pesto." Louise said.
"Louise, not at the dinner table." Bob pleaded. Those pleas fell on deaf ears as Louise walked out of the room. "Louise!"
"Do you want to see Jimmy Pesto being busted by the FBI or don't you?" Louise called from the living room.
"I do, but it's probably not him so it can wait!" Bob called back.
"It's probably him." Gene said. "It's definitely him."
"Are we sure?" Tina asked.
"I'm preeeety sure." Gene shovelled another forkful of food into his mouth as Louise returned with the family laptop.
"See, Dad." Louise put the laptop on the table and in Bob's dinner.
"Louise!" Bob admonished.
"No! Look!" Louise pointed at the tweet in question.
Bob leaned in closer to the laptop and squinted. "Oh my god." He blindly patted at Linda's shoulder. "Oh my god, Lin. That's Jimmy Pesto."
"What?" Linda leaned in. "Oh my god, Bobby!" She exclaimed. "Jimmy Pesto's a terrorist!"
"Jimmy Pesto's not a terrorist, Lin." Bob said.
"That's not what the FBI say in this tweet." Linda said. "Oh those poor Pesto kids."
"Maybe I should go over there and uh... comfort Jimmy Jr?" Tina suggested.
"No, Tina, you're going to stay here and finish your food." Bob said.
Bob looked at the laptop screen and sighed. There was no denying that those pictures the FBI shared were both of Jimmy Pesto. Bob easily recognised the face that he saw every day.
"Did we see Jimmy Pesto on January 6th?" Bob asked.
"I don't know, Bobby." Linda said. "I was busy with the restaurant and watching the news."
"Did you see Jimmy Pesto on the news?" Louise asked.
Bob shook his head. "Uh... I don't think so."
"I didn't see him." Linda said. "Then again, there was a lot going on. A lot of people. Like that half naked weirdo with the horns and the guy with the racist hoodie and him with the confederate flag."
"Yeah. They were all racists, Lin." Bob said.
"Including Jimmy Pesto." Linda said.
Bob sighed. "Yeah."
"Bobby, what are we going to do about this?" Linda asked.
"We have to call in a tip to the FBI." Bob said.
"Yes!" Louise screamed, punching the air.
"What?!" Gene exclaimed. "We're turning in Jimmy Pesto?!"
"We have to, Gene." Bob said.
"We don't have to." Tina said.
"No, Tina, we kind of do have to." Linda said.
"Maybe... maybe we could just tell Sergeant Bosco?" Tina suggested.
"But then Bosco would turn him into the FBI." Louise said.
"We would still see a SWAT team." Gene said.
"We're not turning in Jimmy Pesto just so we can watch him be taken away by a SWAT team." Bob said.
"But that's the fun of turning someone in to the FBI." Louise whined.
"We're turning him in because it's the right thing to do." Bob sighed and stood up. "I'm calling the FBI tip number."
"But if Jimmy Pesto is arrested, what'll happen to Jimmy Jr?" Tina asked.
"I don't know, Tina, just let me call the FBI." Bob said.
"Yes, Dad! Get that revenge!" Louise shouted.
"It's not revenge, Louise." Bob walked out of the kitchen.
Louise followed him into the living room. "But he deserves it-it's totally revenge."
"It's not revenge, Louise." Bob picked up the burger phone. "I'd call a tip into the FBI if it were Trev or Mort or... Mickey-"
"What about Teddy?" Gene asked. He and Tina had followed them into the living room.
"Teddy didn't storm the Capitol." Bob said. "Tina, what was the FBI number again?"
"Dad, I can't let you do this."
"Why not, Tina?"
Tina let out a long groan.
Bob sighed and put down the burger phone.
"Tina?" Linda asked. She had emerged from the kitchen and was standing in the living room along with everyone else. "What's wrong? Why don't you want your dad to call the FBI?"
"Because if he does this, he'll be hurting Jimmy Jr!" Tina said.
"Tina honey, are you really this worried about Jimmy Jr?" Linda asked.
Tina nodded. "Uh-huh."
"I'm not worried about Andy and Ollie." Louise said.
"Maybe you should be!" Tina snapped.
Bob sighed. "Tina. Jimmy Pesto's face is all over the internet. If I don't call in a tip, someone else will. Trev. Mort. Teddy. Harold and/or Edith. Janine. Charlotte. Sal. Mr Fischoeder. Hugo would do it. I mean, he might not like me-"
"He definitely doesn't like you." Gene said.
"Thanks, Gene." Bob said. "Hugo doesn't like me, but he also doesn't like terrorists."
"You see, Tina," Linda said, "it doesn't matter if your dad turns in Jimmy Pesto to the FBI."
"Lin, it kinda does."
"The point is that people already know Jimmy Pesto did a bad thing."
"They do?" Tina asked.
"It's all over the internet." Louise said. "The whole world knows."
"And because Jimmy Pesto did a bad thing, he needs to be punished." Bob said, picking up his burger phone once more. "So tell me the number of the FBI tip hotline again."
Tina went into the kitchen to get the laptop. "Okay, Dad. It's 1-800-225-5324." She said.
As Tina relayed the number, the rest of the Belchers gathered around closer, eager to hear what Bob was going to tell the FBI.
"Are we doing the right thing?" Tina asked.
"Yes, Tina!" Bob snapped. "This is absolutely the right thing. No question."
"We're all in shock that our neighbour's a terrorist, but-"
Tina let out another long groan.
Louise put her hand on Tina's shoulder. "Just don't think about it, T."
Tina nodded. "It has to be done."
"Hello. Hi. I'm calling in a tip." Bob said. "Suspect two-seven-nine. Yeah. I recognise him. He's my neighbour."
I got the idea for this from the whole Jay Johnston did he or didn't he storm the Capitol after photos of a guy looking suspiciously like him trended on social media and comedians, including those in the Bob's Burgers cast, claimed it was him. And since Jay Johnston voices Jimmy Pesto, this basically wrote itself.
How would people react to Jimmy Pesto being involved in that horrible event? I imagine this is how it would go for the Belchers.
Also, the number is the actual FBI tip number. Not just there for authenticity.