"Come on Tori! It's gonna be fun, I promise!" The perky red head said as she quickly ushered her friend out of the car. Cat Valentine stood beside the door and offered Tori a hand as she hesitantly got out of the car and looked up at the karaoke bar as if it were prison that she had been released from. In some ways it was. This was the last place where she and all her friends had hung out just before graduating from Hollywood Arts all those years ago with everyone present. The college years had put a strain on their relationships as they each went to school and worked to try and afford their textbooks while also auditioning and producing their own independent works to try and launch them into the spotlight of fame and fortune. Although they still kept in touch on a somewhat regular basis, it was near impossible to get all of them together in one place without something preventing a full reunion.

The college years passed by in a blur and soon Tori found herself lost in the masses of talented artists trying to get noticed by a record label and become the next big thing. Now even that felt like a lifetime ago. Music has long since lost its charm on the younger Vega child and the appeals of fame no longer seemed to beckon to her with the same enticing siren call. No, these days her microphone and colorful clothes were replaced with duller, blander clothes and a full-time job as a fitness instructor at a pretentious "members only" gym. Tori was brought out of her reminiscing as she felt a hand rest on her shoulder and give it a light squeeze, turning around she saw her best friend Andre locking up the car but looking at her with a concerned expression. "You know you don't have to be here if you don't want to, right? Just say the word and I'll take you back to your apartment. I'll take care of the others," He said as the two walked closer to the building.

They passed by one of the windows looking in and could see Cat rushing over to join their friends Robbie and Beck in a corner booth close by the front of the small stage set up of the bar. This was her first time seeing them both physically in years and she felt a small burst of happiness at seeing them smile and wave at her and motion for her to come and join them. She waved back hesitantly and felt her smile falter when she saw the wedding band shine in the light on Beck's left hand. At that moment she thought about running. Andre squeezed her shoulder again and said, "Chica talk to me. What do you want me to do?"

Tori got out of line of sight from her friends and leaned against the building as Andre stood there patiently. He was used to this song and dance. Every time Tori called, he dropped what he was doing and rushed to her aid just like she had done for him so many times before. But this was far more than he was used to handling and he felt like he was holding onto Tori's lifeline as it slipped further and further out of his grasp. He missed the girl that would stay up late with him and write music and argue over song lyrics. The girl that would stay on the phone for hours just to chat and catch up even if they had just seen each other yesterday. Hearing her voice nowadays was a rarity aside from the most basic greetings or phrases to avoid being seen as rude. Her singing was nonexistent and it hurt him as a musician to know that such a wonderful talent was being hidden away and wasted but he still stood by her side to try and help her shine like she did all those years ago in high school. Looking at her now, she was leaning up against the wall of the bar and looking up at the night sky with her eyes closed as she tried to steady her breathing and to hold back tears. "Come on," He said as he took his car keys out and tried to take her hand, "I'll get you back home. This was a big step and I'm proud of you—"

"I'm not going home Andre."

Andre paused and gawked at her for a moment as Tori wiped a tear away and cleared her throat before straightening up and looking at him. "I-I can't just keep running. You've helped me so much and…and I can't just throw away all of your help. Let's go inside," she said as she tried to walk past him towards the front doors. Andre caught her shoulder and gave her a quick hug and said, "It's okay if you're still hurting. You don't need to be strong just for me, I want you to be strong for yourself again. I'll follow your lead but know I'm proud that you agreed to come. If we need to bounce, just say the word and we'll be out in no time."

"Thanks Andre," Tori said as she hugged him back before exiting his embrace. The two made their way inside after having their ID's checked and walked through the semi-packed tables of the bar towards their friends. Tori's eyes shifted from side to side taking it all in as people laughed and talked loudly with one another over some music that was playing through the speakers before the live performances were scheduled to begin. She folded her arms close to her chest as she slipped between people carrying drinks to avoid bumping into anyone as Andre strolled forward with a smile as he reached the table and said, "Sorry for the hold up! You miss us?"

Tori slipped into a seat next to him as they all greeted one another and she gave a small wave and a weak hello as they started to chat and catch up. They all shared details of their jobs and talked about their own personal projects, starting with Cat, she was now working for a large film studio in the costume department and they had just started production on some new fantasy film which was keeping her busy but based off what she was saying, the head of the costume department was impressed with her work so far and mentioned bringing her in for some other projects to test her skills. Andre mentioned how he has been hard at work as a session player at a smaller record label but was loving every second of it as he got to play music with other passionate artists. His own music hasn't garnered that much attention but he was still hopeful and was working on another couple of songs that he claimed would be a big hit one day. Robbie smiled and talked about his own work as a special effects artist for a television network and seemed to be enjoying it so far, but it was still only his third week.

When the group shifted their attention towards Beck, Tori couldn't help but stiffen slightly as he smiled and took a sip of his drink before going on to explain that after his…break from auditioning, he jumped back in with renewed vigor and managed to land a couple of commercial spots for various products as well as some walk on parts for cop dramas. He went on to explain that he was currently in the audition process for some new network medical drama but couldn't share too much before he looked over at Tori. As he spoke, she couldn't help but notice that he would absentmindedly twist his wedding band around his finger but before she could think about it too much, his voice brought her out of her own thoughts as he called out, "So what about you Tori? You kind of disappeared off the map once college started. We've missed you!"

"O-oh I'm sorry," she said as she gave him a half smile, "I've kind of just been working. I found a job as a fitness instructor." Her words were quick and few and far different from how she used to speak back when they all hung out regularly.

"That's it?" Beck asked curiously. "I thought you would have had a couple of songs on the radio by now or a contract with a studio, you know?"

Cat piped in and said, "Yeah Tori! You're super talented! How come you haven't posted anything on your Slap page? I thought you posted your music there."

Andre cringed slightly as he noticed Tori stiffen a little and her smile falter as she straightened up in her seat and held her glass a little closer before giving a weak laugh and shrugged before saying, "What can I say? I just haven't had any luck lately with any record label. And I've got some songs I'm working on; I just want them to be perfect. It's just been hard with work; I teach classes at the gym and I've got a bunch of members booking me to be their trainer so I have like no free time."

They seemed to buy the answer and didn't bother to push for any details thankfully before moving on to other topics of conversation and quickly putting together a small order of food and drinks before the karaoke show started. Tori breathed a sigh of relief as she stuck to her water and glanced over each one of them before retreating into her own head when she thought about how they were missing the last piece of their puzzle. It wasn't a taboo subject but they knew it was still a sore one even if three years had passed. Tori looked down at her right forearm where a thin white line ran up her tanned skin for almost four inches, it had healed long ago but the mark persisted and gave her a bittersweet feeling whenever she looked at it. She struggled to place the feelings that wrestled inside but eventually she deduced it was a tenuous mix of happiness and guilt. As a worker took their orders and procured them more drinks and a pitcher of water, her friends continued to chat and gossip about their lives while she casually observed and thought back to the last time, she was with their goth friend Jade West.

Three Years Ago

Tori sat at her desk in her apartment and rubbed her temples as she tried to focus and power through this history assignment that was due on Monday. Why a music major needed to take a history course was beyond her but she silently cursed whoever made that call as she shut her laptop and walked away to the living room where Cat and Andre were sitting on the couch going over a new piece Andre was composing. "Are you two still working on the song?"

The two of them glanced over at her and Andre said, "Yeah, Red here has been helpful but I'm not liking the bridge so I'm trying to take another crack at it."

Tori took a seat next to Cat and rested her head on her friend's shoulder as she glanced over the sheet music and said, "Why don't you two just call it a night? You've been working on it all afternoon and it's almost ten. You guys need a break. We could make a late-night food run or maybe go get drinks? It's Friday night! Let's have a little fun and then tomorrow we can all team up and tackle all this homework!"

Andre glanced at her and said, "You're just trying to butter me up so you can use my old history notes from last semester, aren't you?"

"No!" Tori exclaimed with a slight pink shade creeping across her cheeks, "I'm just making sure you two don't get burnt out and we haven't done anything like that since the summer break! Come one, the semester just started, we can take it a little easy before we get buried in homework assignments!"

Cat smiled and nodded excitedly before saying, "We can get Beck and Jade to come too! They got back from their honeymoon before the semester started and we haven't seen them at all! I'll call them now!" Before the other two could even stop her, the hyperactive red head snatched her phone off the table and made her way down the hall as she started to make a call. A moment later they could hear her voice before it became muffled behind the bathroom door.

Andre looked over at Tori and said, "Are you gonna be okay if they come out with us?" He started to stack his music sheets together and clear up the living room table as Tori played with a couple strands of her long brown hair and said, "Of course! They're still my friends and I want them to be happy."

"Yeah, but last time you actually spoke with Jade was before Beck proposed to her! That was last spring and their wedding was only a month or two ago. You didn't leave your room for like two weeks after their vows—"
"Andre!" Tori said with a bit of annoyance in her voice. She shook her head and got off the couch and said, "I'm a big girl. I can't stay hung up on this forever! I know you're just watching out for me but I've gotta live a little bit and try to get past this. If not now, then when?"

"Alright, alright," He said as he put his hands up in surrender before packing up the last of his papers and laptop and stowing them in his bookbag. "You're right, as usual. But there's a difference between working past a problem and just dancing around it."

Tori smiled and walked over and gave him a hug and said, "I know, I know. I promise I'm not ignoring it. I'm trying to get over it and what better way than to go out and have a little fun? Who knows? Maybe I'll meet some nice guy or girl and we'll hit it off!"

"Can you not hog all the girls this time?" Andre said with a laugh as Cat made her way back into the room with a bright smile, "Last time we hung out, you totally stole the girl I was flirting with all night!"

Tori let out an exaggerated gasp and made a hurt expression as they broke apart and said, "Andre! I would never! Besides…she was out of your league anyway."
"Oh really? Is that how it is?!" He said as he charged at her causing Tori to let out a laugh before rushing behind Cat and using her as a human shield. "Cat can't help you Tori! Get over here!"

"Guys!" Cat exclaimed loudly to break them up as they raced around her. They both slowed and continued to laugh a little as she said, "They said they're in! They'll meet us there!"

"Sweet! Let's not keep them waiting," Andre said as he snatched up his keys and tossed Tori her phone from the counter. "With any luck, Jade will still be in the honeymoon phase and won't snap at us too much!"

The three of them shared a laugh before gathering the last bit of their things and piling into Andre's car and heading out into the night life of Los Angeles. About twenty minutes later, they pulled into a small parking garage and walked towards a small college bar that they've started to frequent since starting their time at UCLA. Tori called Robbie and extended the invite to him as well, but he couldn't make it since he was already working that night. They promised they'd all hangout soon before she put her phone away and followed her friends into the bar. For a Friday night, it was less packed than what they were expecting but there was still a decent crowd moving about and socializing, getting a little outlandish at times but nothing you wouldn't expect from a college bar. The radio was hooked up to the speakers playing a mix of pop music and dance music to get the crowd moving a little bit on the small dance floor in the corner. While the walls were decorated with UCLA banners and sports memorabilia as well as news clippings from famous events or spectacular feats of other students. Over at one of the standing tables was Beck and Jade with a round of cheap beers for them all as Beck waved them over with a smile.

As they approached them, Tori noticed that Beck had gotten a little sun on their trip out to Arizona while Jade seemed to be just as pale as always. When she looked at Jade, she could feel her heart race a little as she looked over the tight dark outfit that hugged her curves. Her black ripped jeans showed off her legs surprisingly well before they were stuffed into a pair of knee-high black boots. Her leather jacket was off and resting on the back of her chair revealing a white t-shirt underneath it that was a little tight around her chest, most likely an intentional choice. Tori noted that Jade's hair was freshly dyed to its usual dark sheen and the colored streak was a vibrant lavender shade this time. "Gonna keep gawking Vega or are you going to join us at some point?"

Tori snapped back and looked at Jade and smiled and just said, "Sorry, I was just admiring your hair! It looks great! And Beck!" She said as she turned to him and hugged him, "You look good, the tan is nice!" She launched herself into conversation with Beck and the others to distract them from her embarrassment and asked a series of questions about their honeymoon in Arizona.

"Well, we had a lot of fun," Beck said as he took a sip from his beer. "We enjoyed the resort a lot and had some fun events and the food was good. We went to visit some Native American burial grounds and other things like that so Jade wasn't bored out of her mind or didn't go stir crazy."

"It would have been easier if those maids stopped trying to flirt with you!" She said with a glare and finished off the rest of her near empty beer. "This one girl literally followed him every time I wasn't near by him, she's lucky I was in a good mood!"

Beck laughed and kissed her forehead and said, "You scared her to the point that she ran off crying though."

"I know. That was me being in a good mood," She said as she smirked before Andre cut in and said, "So are you two going straight back into classes or are you trying to take some more time off or something?"

"Unfortunately, we're going back to class," Beck said. "We decided that we'd focus on getting our own place maybe next semester or when we get some more cash."

Tori tried to distract herself with another sip of her beer but found the bottle to be empty already. She didn't even like the taste of beer usually but sitting there listening to them talk about their future as a married couple was starting to weigh on her a bit more than she thought it might. And the beer was getting to her quicker than usual too. She didn't usually drink that much anyway but having skipped lunch and dinner to do her homework was turning out to be a bad decision. She got up and ordered another one from the bar without excusing herself from the group and to give her a small break from hearing about married life. As she waited, she thought back to Jade's short "greeting," the first words they'd actually exchanged since last spring when she tried to tell her how she felt. Before she screwed everything up.

Although Jade would never admit to it, they were close friends and relied on one another and trusted each other, even if their dynamic was…unique. As they reached the end of high school, they found themselves hanging out far more at each other's houses, talking on the phone late at night until the early morning, holding each other as the other cried. All of this wore away at Tori's resolve as she tried to tell herself that it was nothing but a simple trick of her mind, reading too far into whatever it is that this was turning into. Jade was with Beck. That's how it always is, they're the power couple! But during another one of their numerous temporary breakups something changed. Whether it was the wine or from talking or something else, Tori took a chance. Instead of talking about her feelings, she acted upon them.

As she sat there with Jade, she cupped her pale cheeks and pulled her in for a soft, sweet kiss that sent sparks through her entire body! Sadly, before she could enjoy them and test the boundaries, reality came crashing back in as Jade shoved her off of her with a furious and confused expression on her face. Tori tried to apologize and explain but she was cut off as Jade slapped her across the face and stormed off, leaving the apartment and slamming the door on the way out. Two weeks later, Beck and Jade were back together and within the next week they were announcing their engagement which shattered Tori. She tried to make things up to Jade and apologize but she'd never respond to her calls or texts and whenever they were face to face, she would just storm off and avoid her.

As Tori was given her beer, she brushed away those thoughts and feelings once again. She thought to herself, if Jade could do it and act like nothing happened, then she could too. Taking another sip, she rejoined her friends…but that's when the night became blurry. There was music, laughter and talking but it was mixed with faces of other students and patrons from the bar. And drinks. Many, many drinks. Far too many and beyond Tori's normal limit. The scenery throughout the night changed and morphed as the walls spun around her. She remembers flirting and…. with someone. A guy? A girl? She couldn't remember. There was Jade. Standing there with her in the back of the bar by the restroom, there inches faces apart and their breathing was heavy.

They were leaving the bar. Tori was leading her out, maybe, or it was Jade leading her out and helping her but as they crossed the street, she heard her name being shouted and a pair of bright white lights coming straight towards her.

Screaming! Sirens! She sat up and looked around and saw people rushing around an SUV and people shouting around her. Her right arm was painful to move for some reason but she couldn't focus on anything and get a clear look and there was some liquid she couldn't place dripping and messing up her already blurry vision. She took a moment and tried to focus, straining as hard as she could in her drunken and delirious stupor to gain some sense of the situation. The only thing that came into focus was a mess of black hair with a bright lavender streak on the ground fifteen feet away partially obscured and hidden behind the SUV also laying on its side. After that, the next memory Tori had was of her groggily waking up in the hospital with a bandage on her forehead and another one wrapped around her right forearm and being told by Andre and Cat what happened the night before. She spent the rest of that day crying and sobbed until morning without getting any sleep.

Present Day

Tori was clutching her glass of water so tightly it felt like it might start to crack if she continued to apply pressure but the round of applause and cheers brought her back to the present. Looking around with a confused expression she saw a young woman with red hair waving to the crowd and smiling before walking off the stage towards a table of her friends. The half Latina weakly clapped her hands a few times as the applause died down and slipped out of her seat and quickly walked over to the restrooms without so much as a word to her friends. Once inside she looked around and made her way to the sink and turned the handle and splashed some water in her face. As the water soaked her skin and dripped off of her chin and nose, she looked at her reflection and actually took in how rough she really appeared. Her make up was passible and her hair was fine, could use a brush or a touchup but what caught her attention was her eyes. They were duller and lacking in the usual vibrancy of life that people always claimed that she had and underneath them were heavy, heavy dark bags from the numerous nights that she spent staying up late.

She shook her head and pulled away from the mirror and exited the restroom after wiping her face off and drying her hand she tossed the paper towel into the trash can and put on a soft smile as she took her seat back with her friends as Cat took the stage singing a rendition of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston that blew the crowd away and got her a near standing ovation from the partially intoxicated crowd. As she sat down they all complimented her and Tori sat back with her water and took a sip waiting for the next performer to come up, only for the announcer of the evening to call out her name. Andre choked on his drink as Tori spit out her water in shock and surprise, spraying a majority of it in Robbie's face. "Oh my god, Robbie! I'm so sorry! Here, here! Take my napkin!" She said as she quickly uttered out a string of apologies as Robbie started to wipe his face off.

"It's okay Tori! I know you didn't mean it!" He took the napkin and wiped off the rest of his face and started to clean off his glasses before saying, "I didn't know you were going to sing tonight though! I can't wait to hear you, it's been forever!"

"No, no, no…I-I can't sing, I'm too tired for that." Tori started to say as she looked over at Andre. "I didn't even put my name in, did you sign me up?"

Andre shook his head and said, "No! I knew you weren't feeling great so I didn't do it."
"Yeah, I did!" Cat said rather excitedly, "I saw there was a slot open and thought you'd want to a turn before everyone else started to sign up!"

"Cat…thank you but I'm sorry I can't." Tori said with s hint of mock sympathy to try and come as legitimate. "Next time I'll be sure to sign up, promise!"

Cat's eyes went wide and her usual vibrant smile slowly morphed into a deep frown as she said, "B-but Tori, you haven't hung out with us in forever and I haven't heard you sing in so long! Come on, please? Just one song?" She asked so sweetly that it almost made Tori's heart ache. Robbie chimed in and said, "Yeah come on Tori! You're never one to turn down a chance to sing!"

Andre placed his hand on Tori's shoulder and said, "Guys, guys! Just leave her be, she's had a busy day so why don't we just let her—"
Tori took a deep breath and closed her eyes and then said, "I'll do it."

Her best friend looked at her and said, "Tori? You don't have to if you aren't…in the mood for it. I know you're tired and all that so you can take it easy."

The half Latina shook her head and leaned over and grabbed the shot Andre had yet to take and downed it with a little bit discomfort as the strong booze burned on the way down. "I-I want to. What's the just one song?"

He nodded and said, "If you say so. Just don't push yourself, okay? Just-just try to have a little fun with it?"

Beck chimed in this time and said, "Oh come on, this is Tori we're talking about. She'll knock 'em dead regardless of whatever happens." He tipped his glass towards her and nodded which made Tori smile a little bit before she took another breath and slid out of her seat and went around to the side of the stage where the bar worker was sitting with their laptop out and the binder that listed all the possible songs she could pick from. Her eyes scanned through song after song but nothing stuck out to her and she could feel her anxiety rising much like when she had first been shoved into the world of performing arts during the showcase when Trina became unable to perform. Although she knew the words and the moves by heart, the thought of putting herself out there caused her mind to go blank and the words to get lodged in her throat making her stammer and gasp. Tori flipped through page after page with no luck and as she was about to tell the sound operator she'd like to back out and give another person a shot, she noticed a song that she hadn't thought of in ages and one that brought back a rush of emotions. One that made her think back to those late-night car rides along the beaches of L.A. and walks through oddity shops after hanging out in cafés with Jade. Tori paused as her finger trailed down the page and rested on the title and looked up and said, "Would I be able to do song number 17843?"

The young man sitting at the table with his laptop plugged in the code and pulled it up and said, "Umm, yeah. You should be all set! Go ahead on stage and I'll cue up the music for you in just a second."

Tori nodded and looked at the lone microphone underneath a series of stage lights that illuminated the small platform and took a breath before taking a couple of steps towards it, her eyes shifting nervously to the dimly lit faces that stared back at her. A couple of people clapped softly as she approached the microphone, trying to ease her nerves while others that were a little more intoxicated whistled and shouted. Glancing from side to side she gave an awkward wave and a half smile before looking to the sound operator who gave her the go ahead. "H-hey everyone…I'm T-Tori…" she paused and her eyes drifted towards her friends at the nearby table. They all smiled and waited but Andre gave a small wave and motioned for her to take a deep breath and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled back at him and steadied herself, took a deep breath and looked out over the crowd and said, "I'm going to be singing Who Knew by Pink."

With that the music started up with and Tori felt her heart pound against her ribs as if it was trying to burst from her chest, she tried to steady herself and focus as the words started to come out. They were shaky and weak, no support or weight to them like she usually carried whenever she sang. Some members of the bar chuckled and went back to their conversations while others just tuned her out and went back to their drinks. Her lips turned to a frown by the first time the chorus came around and she felt ready to run off the stage and to keep going until this place was nothing but a distant memory. She backed away from the microphone for a moment during the short interlude of the song and closed her eyes as she took another shaky breath. Upon opening them, in the far back of the room leaning against the bar she saw the pale complexion of the beautiful young woman she once loved. Her clothes were all black and her make up was elegant yet fierce. Her midnight black hair framed her face as she twirled the purple streak of hair in her fingers as she cocked her one pierced eyebrow in a confident smirk. The music grew louder in Tori's ears as she gazed upon her and she could hear Jade's words as she spoke above the muted crowd. "What's wrong Vega? Show these losers what you can really do."

Tori held back a soft smile as she kept her eyes trained on the bar and started the second verse with renewed confidence and vigor. This time around her words were supported as she gripped the microphone stand and took a deep breath before launching into the chorus for the second time. A smile slowly started to stretch across her lips as her heart slowed down and her nervous energy was replaced by the adrenaline she used to feel when she used to perform regularly. It was as if electricity raced through her body as she started to become more alive on stage, belting out each note and word with an intensity she had never felt before.

"If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out!

Cause their all wrong!"

Taking a step forward with the microphone stand in her hands, she pulled it aside as she ripped the mic free and placed the stand to her side but kept her free hand on top of it as if it was a life preserver as she looked over the muted sea of color and faces towards the bar. She leaned towards Jade, trying to remove any distance she could across this wide gap and continued with tears beginning to burn in her eyes.

"That last kiss, I'll cherish

Until we meet again!

And time makes it harder

I wish I could remember!"

With that line, she closed her eyes and shook her head as a few tears managed to break through and streamed down her face. The pain and sorrow she had been carrying around broke through her defenses as she let herself truly feel in a way that she hadn't allowed herself in so long. She looked back towards Jade and continued, not caring about how she pathetic she might look.

"But I keep

Your memory

You visit me in my sleep!

My darling!

Who knew?"

The music slowed as Tori took a step forward, abandoning the mic stand and stood at the edge of the stage looking out as she finished the last few repeating lyrics. Her voice cracking as she asked the last question of the song and lowered the microphone from her lips. Time seemed to stand still as she watched Jade. Trying to capture every detail of her before it was cut short and interrupted as the roaring applause shattered the stillness she had created in her mind. The various patrons stood giving her a standing ovation with drinks raised and cheers of praise obscuring her view of the bar as she looked around at all the different faces and smiled shyly as she wiped away her tears. She backed up and gave a half bow and placed the microphone on the stand before walking back and off the side of the stage. Before she descended the short staircase as the sound operator thanked her for performing and then quickly calling up the next singer, she took a breath and looked back over to the bar. The spot she had seen Jade was empty. She cursed herself for being so foolish as to believe she was really there. Falling for a cruel illusion created by her own mind and she hated it…but for a moment, she at least felt a moment of happiness as she got the chance to perform for the one person she loved. Even if it wasn't real.