AN: This is intended to be a very short story around 12K words, (5 chapters) and was originally published on a Chinese website in mandarin. I translated and rewrote the story with plot variations from the original version, but the idea is the same. The story is based on EVA Q – EVA 4.0. Mainly WAFF & Angst. Hope you enjoy it. I DO NOT hold ANY credit for this work, nor do I own ANYTHING from EVA.

Link for Chinese readers: tieba p/7284061985?pn=1 (can't put full link on FFN)

Chapter 1: Welcome back

Do you really wish to go back?

She's calling to me…I failed her once, not this time.

So you still can't let go? You know this won't change anything.

Just, let me be capricious…for the last time…

But, you could hurt her more…or she won't accept you…

Yeah, I know. She knows too.

…

Well come back, Ikari Shinji-kun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sister? How…" Shinji froze as he examined the brown-haired girl in front of him, 'It must've been longer than I expected,' he thought, just as another voice came from the entrance.

"It means, it's been fourteen years since then, Baka-Shinji."

Shinji turned around and landed his gaze on the newcomer; a wave of ecstasy washed over his body as he recognized the person standing in front of him, "Asuka?! Y-you're okay! I'm so glad…"

'so it's been fourteen years…but your bright red hasn't faded a bit.'

The redheaded girl walked directly towards the boy behind the inch-thick bullet-proof glass.

Her left foot stomped on the stand in front of the glass, right fist slammed hard on the window; under the powerful strike of the young girl, even though the glass was tempered, it still cracked like a spider web. Shinji looked into the eyes – eye of the girl in front of him, feeling her radiating anger and pain; he wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but he knew whatever he does would be in vain. He could only suppress the strong impulse and pretend to be shocked.

"It's no use…I can't hold it in. I've kept it pent up all these years…" Asuka said, now standing wholly on the stand, glaring at the dumbfounded boy.

"W-what's gotten into you?"

"Pent-up rage and sorrow."

"What are you talking about?" Shinji finally paid attention to the eyepatch, "Asuka, what happened to your eye?" For some reason, he could sense the ninth Angel residing there. During the time he was inside the tenth Angel, something changed in him as well.

"' What happened' is none of your business," her voice remained ice-cold.

"Asuka, you said it's been fourteen years, but aside from the eyepatch, you look the same."

'and you are still arrogant as ever, added with pain. Damn, I fucked up so hard that time, didn't I?' Shinji thought bitterly.

"Yeah, that's the EVA's curse."

"Curse?" But that's only your resistance in your heart, why didn't anybody tell her? How did she even get through that all these years?

Just as Asuka was about to jump down from the table, Shinji suddenly got up and stood on his side's table and fixed his gaze with Asuka, who's at the other side of the glass. "Asuka…"

"What?" Asuka was surprised by his unexpected action; she didn't know why, but she felt an invisible pressure exerted on her, which made her feel a dull pain in her left eye.

"Thanks for seeing me," Shinji said, although what he really wanted to do was to rebuke her.

"I came here only to beat you, nothing more!" She could feel him looking at her left eye, and moved down to her neck. Then, the pressure suddenly increased in strength and pressed down on her with the complete shattering of the inch-thick tempered glass. His hands reached out to her slim neck. She thought he would strangle her, just like fourteen years ago while she was inside Unit 03. However, his hands stopped as he touched that thing.

Now she understood why he went angry. The DSS Choker.

"Pattern Blue? Shinji?" Ritsuko, standing aside, said with an astonishing tone. She couldn't believe what was happening. At the same time Misato Katsuragi pulled out the detonator and aimed at Shinji; at the same time, a visible-to-human-eye AT-Field knocked the detonator off her hand.

"So, you really don't know anything," Shinji scanned the whole room with a lonely look.

The whole ship began shaking, and the phone in the room started to ring, breaking the silence. Misato gave a look at Shinji and picked up the phone, "Captain Katsuragi…What? The power output of Unit 01 has decreased by fifty percent?" Hearing the report from her subordinate, Misato looked at Shinji with rage and disbelief.

"Akagi-san, you said my sync ratio with Unit 01 is zero percent, right?" Shinji turned his look to the wall left of him, and then his materialized AT-Field blew up a hole in it, leaving a tunnel leading to the outside of the ship. "maybe you are wrong, now I don't even need an entry plug to make her move at this distance." His hands still not leaving Asuka's neck.

"What?" Misato and Ritsuko both exclaimed.

"So I'll take you don't know the difference between scenarios either," Shinji retracted one hand from Asuka's neck to his own, touching the DSS Choker, "even invented useless toys like this."

"So my people are coming close, hmph, I'll lend you Unit 01 for now." Shinji turned around to look at the redhead, "Asuka, I'll put an end to this. I won't run away ever again."

At the time, a giant hand emerged at the breach. Shinji neglected the high explosive and armor piercing shells fired at Unit 00 and jumped onto it, saying his last words to the wide-eyed Asuka, "That, only strengthened your rejection." The rocket launchers under Unit 00 ignited, the humanoid ignored all the attacks from the Wunder and Unit 08, swiftly leaving the site.

"What does he think he's doing, that IDIOT!"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

She was running. She was running on the red earth; even though she had been tripping over numerous obstacles, she still hurriedly stood up and rushed forward, to the grey-ish entry plug abruptly standing on the scarlet ground. Although she only kept running for three minutes, she felt she had been running for another fourteen years. Standing below the entry plug she was panting heavily, palms supporting on her knees. Looking at the entry plug, which normally requires only a single jump to get on top of, she felt a strange sense of distance. Without adjusting her breath, she started climbing up. Finally, she reached the hatch, putting her hands around the lock; just as she was about to open it, she suddenly stopped.

"What am I (looking forward to) scared of?"

At the moment she remembered why she had hated him for all these years. She hated him, for he didn't have the courage to either kill her or save her, and left her alone in this desolate world. She had always thought if they exchanged places during that time, she could have done much better than he did; she would have beaten Unit 03 until it couldn't move anymore, and rip the entry plug from that Angel's grip, pull out the idiot by herself, and then she would beat him senseless to vent her anger.

If…he was still there.

What if he's…gone?

She didn't want to face the other possibility, which was the most probable one.

"But, this can't be your excuse to escape!"

The hatch was finally opened; she breathed heavily under nervousness, eyes wide open, scanning around the inside. She hoped her fear was only a possibility, but not reality; even if that idiot was only curling up in the corner would do. However, except for the empty piloting seat, the only thing left were a black plug suit and some LCL.

He, was really not there.

Although she already knew it was the most probable outcome, when she had to face it, she still felt extreme pain and desperation. She lowered her head, quietly climbed down, and walked towards the seat where he last existed, hoping to find any evidence of him.

Suddenly her left foot seemed to kick on something. She looked down, just to find a small box sealed by a food storage bag. An unknown impulse urged her to crouch down and picked it up. Through the transparent bag, she could see it was a lunch box inside, a sticky note clipped on it.

It read 'to Asuka'.

She crazily unpacked the box just to find a bento already cold. Opening up the seal, she saw too-familiar white rice she once thought she hated, as well as the too-familiar octopus-like fried sausage.

She froze in place, and reached out her right hand subconsciously; grabbing one of the sausages, she placed it into her mouth.

Tasty…

But why?

She suddenly remembered his words when he left, "That, only strengthened your rejection."

"After all, it was me who couldn't let go…"

Because she didn't want to forget the taste of the bento, so she rejected all other tastes from entering her mind.

Because she didn't want to forget the warmth and comfort she felt sleeping next to him, she stopped herself from falling into sleep alone.

Because she didn't want to look distant when seeing each other again, her body stopped growing.

"Damn, what the hell is all this! Why are you doing this to me? DAMN IT!"

She devoured the bento like a maniac, trying to recall the delicious taste that was about to slip away from her memory during fourteen years of torture, as well as the happiness she had never felt before; however, the small bento was soon empty.

"Hmph, it's just cold. I'll give it a pass."

She put the bento down, sat on the floor, and curled up, hugging her knees. She didn't understand what emotion she was feeling at the time; fourteen years of pain and resentment, fourteen years of desperate waiting and anticipation, now all came down on her. Finally, she broke her promise of not crying ever again; tears helplessly rolled down her face.

She cried, her consciousness slipping away as she cried herself to sleep.

She dreamed; in the dream, her first encounter with him when very young replayed.

'Is he also a pilot? How could he smile so happily? And why are there so many people like him? As for me, I always only have myself.'

"Hello? Are you also from the research facility?"

"…"

"This red bead sends you, my mum gave it to me, she said you'll be happy every day with it. I see you look unhappy; I want it to bring you happiness!"

"…"

"Ah, my mum is calling me. I have to go."

'Hmph, I remembered I threw it away right after. Why could he get so much as a pilot, but not me? But…red, looks so beautiful…'

She also dreamed about the encounter fourteen years ago; however, he became dejected and not smiling anymore. 'so, we became the same kind of person…'

"Anta Baka?"

"Sorry…"

"Why did you forget to make my lunch today?!"

"Sorry…"

"You play decent Cello, that was impressive."

"I'm glad you like it…"

Those were the very few times in her entire life when she felt truly happy. Although he was not as positive and sunshine as the younger him, he was easier to approach. Although he was a little wimpy, even a little socially awkward, but the several months she spent with him, she was again warmed up by his kindness and a little bit of courage. She had never thought she needed anyone until their battle against the eighth Angel; he had held the sky for her.

He was the only one she trusted at that time, in or outside of EVA.

However…

That day, she was about to thank him after the activation test; it went wrong at the very start. The Angel invaded her, and the invasion had been changing her.

"No!" She could feel her body slowly altering; she was losing herself little by little. The Angel was searching, searching for a place to reside, wanting to become one with her. At the same time, she could sense him closing in.

"Kill me!" Unit 03's four arms gripped around Unit 01's throat.

Silence.

"Kill me!" He still didn't move.

"Why won't you kill me? Do you wish to die like this?" She felt she was losing her strength.

"Why aren't you doing ANYTHING? KILL ME!" Unit 01 suddenly stopped struggling; soon it started moving again, but in a different fashion.

"…"

"It's okay if I die by your hands…" The pain of being torn apart almost made her unconscious.

"…"

"Please kill (save) me…" She felt she entered his mouth; no, the smell was not his, but rather hers…

"…"

"…"

"So, the failsafe worked. I'm sorry, Asuka. But this time, I will save you!"

"Kaworu-kun, I'll leave the aftermath to you…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You just came back like that?

Ah, I didn't expect it to go this way, but I don't have any regrets.

Really? If you had already been capricious once, then why not again?

But I don't think I'm forgivable. That time, this time, I always make her unhappy.

So…you ARE aware of your virtue…but whether you're forgivable is not for you to decide, if you still love her, you could do it again.

But, I can't go back like this?

I can still help you…Shinji-kun.

Ah, really? But will she be able to forgive me…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The dream faded, and reality slowly returned to Asuka, but the traces of tears on her face were signs of her mournful mood. She hated him, for both the courageous and the spineless him had left her.

"That's why I hate sleeping…" Asuka slowly opened her eyes; suddenly, she saw a familiar face in front of her.

"I'm back."

"Wha-?!" She couldn't believe what she thought she had heard or seen; her eyes went wide open, and found out the face in front of her was indeed the face she thought had vanished, while her head seemed to be resting on his lap.

"Baka, Shinji?"

Shinji showed a small grin, "Right."

"But? How…"

"I'm sorry," Shinji scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"What the hell is that?"

"Err, because, it looks like, you, cried…"

"Baka! Making me cry really entertains you, right? How disgusting…" Although Asuka was fuming and wanted nothing more but to beat him senseless, she found herself too comfortable lying on his lap to get up. Realizing this, she blushed a little and rolled her body nighty degrees to the right, her back facing Shinji.

"I'm sorry, I made you worried, and…fourteen years ago, I didn't make the right choice…I…"

"You must've thought you killed me. You even tried to destroy NERV headquarters, just like a brat. Only you WERE a brat that time." Asuka interrupted his apologies; she knew now Shinji had proven he obtained the courage he never had before, it's just his decision making was still irritating.

"However, I'm not going to forgive you! That time, or this time…" Even though she wanted to express her anger, her tone became increasingly soft.

"Asuka…"

"Unless…unless you will make me bentos just like fourteen years ago, until I never want them anymore…" Trailing off, Asuka curled up her body more, "welcome back."