Chapter 1: Overload
She sighs. Looks disinterestedly at her notes as she goes over a recently learned technique. She feels like she's left behind, even though a painful thought hits her. Did she ever keep up with them?
She's terrified by half of her classmates and she has a feeling that they already know. She's almost certain, of them all she is the least intimidating one. Which is embarrassing considering that Momo still looks like a preadolescent. If she thought about it a lot, she'd start to feel pathetic...
Useless Miwa, echoes in her mind and she smiles. She doesn't quite believe it, but compared to such outstanding sorcerers she is the least important of the bunch. She doesn't even have an innate curse and after her encounter with Maki she's sure that this is no excuse for her.
A couple of bees buzzing by her window. First days of spring. The cherry trees are already in bloom and the academy is surrounded by pink petals, which only means one thing. April 4 is approaching.
So many recommendations to First Class had been given the year before and none with her name. She would reach 18, finish her studies and remain stuck in the same place. No one would pay a mediocre shaman; the best jobs of course are the most complicated and she's not prepared to deal with a second-class curse on her own. But she is determined to make good money and to achieve that goal, there is no other option but to become stronger.
Wrapped in a feeling of sorrow, she opens her desk drawer and a smile widens on her face. She takes that souvenir and hugs it on her lap.
"Gojo-sensei..." she whispers with that precious gift in her hands.
Realistically, he most likely didn't even know who she was. Surely, he was aware of the number of students in Kyoto or would have asked, perhaps he even bought extra souvenirs so that no one was left without a present that morning. But still he had bought it for her, and that is enough for her.
It's special.
It's from Gojo Satoru.
She has been abstaining for some time from using the photo they had as her cell phone wallpaper. She's sure that Utahime-sensei would not be too pleased to see it and from time to time she wonders what it's that bothers her so much about him. How can she dislike someone as funny and warm as Gojo-sensei?
The Tournament still weighs heavily on her mind, falling asleep just before the battle began wasn't something anyone would have blamed her on. Nobody but herself. Toge's curse was powerful and she had no way of complying with Kamo's recommendations.
The worst thing is that she knew that all the teachers had observed them from one of the temples and since then she fears that that left a terrible impression on him.
She knows she'll see him soon, a meeting will be held at the Academy and he will be here. With a little delay, but nothing that can't be fixed or toss aside with a smile.
Miwa puts her souvenir back in the drawer, takes one last look at her favorite photo, and continues to review her notes before leaving to train one more time.
Tired of being Useless Miwa, she concentrates after finding a little more inspiration in him.
She takes a new katana from the display case. She's alone, Mia and Momo are in town shopping, but before envying them she concentrates on at least improving her technique. She fights alone until her muscles feel on fire, her sportswear sweaty, and her cheeks completely red.
From her pocket she takes out a white cloth and wipes the sheet, even if it hasn't gotten dirty at all. And he does it with such devotion and respect that she seems to owe her life to this inanimate object. She keeps it in the same place she took it from and wipes her forehead. She's exhausted.
When her knees shake on the way to her bedroom, she stops and sits on a couch. It's near the entrance, and an open window lets in a draft cool enough to soothe her muscles.
She hardly slept the night before and got up in the early morning to study.
Closes her eyes and sighs so exhausted that even her lungs ache.
Smiles before falling asleep, he will be here soon and if she's lucky she may be invited to attend the meeting.
A sudden heat wave, a particular tingling between her legs and a recurring dream that often wakes her up embarrassed in the middle of the night. A face that is never fully revealed and a lot of vulgar words that make her heart race as they are whispered into her ear. So vivid that Miwa can feel his warm breath caressing her earlobe. Long-fingered hands sneaking boldly under her uniform. Chills and shudders.
"Gojou-sensei..." she whispers between dreams as she squeezes her legs one against the other.
"Are you talking to me?"
Miwa wakes up from that disturbing yet pleasant dream to see the object of her desires sitting in front of her. He looks at her, she assumes it because his face points directly in her direction and she knows that despite the bandages he can see her, even feels that he can see more than she would like. He sees everything.
"Huh?" Miwa blurts out, completely terrified.
Gojo watches her lunge stiff-backed toward the back of the couch. Cheeks burning and with the appearance of having seen the most abominable curse.
"I didn't want to wake you up, you looked tired. Were you having a nightmare?... No, you didn't look like someone who was scared. You said my name, didn't you? Did you dream of me?" He asks in a casual tone, pointing at himself.
If Miwa's heart was already pounding during her sleep, now she was about to have a heart attack. Gojo had that ability to speak whatever he wanted without caring about the consequences and this would be the first time that that quality didn't seem adorable to her.
"N-No! Sensei! No! You're wrong!" She is quick to say without giving him another explanation.
Her screams are of someone who has been exposed and she knows that he knows it. He has her in his hands and she's so embarrassed that her face turns the color of a strawberry. Her fists pale from the pressure, so invested in holding her lie that she contracts as if the tightness of her body is helping her hide. But it doesn't.
He raises a hand to his chiseled chin and strokes it as if he's thinking of something. Mmmmm, sounds down in his throat. A deliberate sound.
"Isn't my name Gojo? I heard you say that. You said Gojou-sensei."
"I said what?" She answers, puzzled. She pales at the hopeless predicament she's in and suddenly blushes again.
"It-it must have been a nightmare... Uhm, I d-dreamed that you... Ehm, you were late for... The meeting!"
Stuttering doesn't help her much, and she fears that he will realize she is lying. But perhaps by a stroke of luck he will drop the matter, perhaps even come to believe her.
"Ah... the meeting," he comments as if he'd just remembered and looks at his cell phone. "Thanks for reminding me, Miwa. Utahime must be upset," he says and widens a smile.
The joy of hearing him pronounce her name, of acknowledging her existence, fades almost as quickly as it appears. It's not the first time that she has seen him smile that way, but something tells her that it has an important meaning behind and she's saddened by the idea that formes in her mind.
"You... You like to tease Utahime-sensei, right?" She asks him suddenly with a hint of discomfort in her voice.
"Everything bothers her. Age is catching up with her."
But aren't they the same age? Miwa wonders and sees him get up.
Gojo is terribly tall and when she sees him stand-up, she remembers it and inadvertently lets out a sigh. He seems to notice and curves a slight smile that hides something gloomy behind.
"See you soon, Miwa. Then you'll tell me about that nightmare in more detail."