Summary: Hartley's not really sure he belongs here, with Team Flash, confronting Barry about his six month stretch of survivor's guilt induced stupidity. But the fact is that he is there and, well, someone has to give Barry Allen a swift verbal kick in the ass and it sure isn't going to be the rest of this soft-hearted crowd.
Notes: The Season 2 Episode 1 intervention with Barry, but if Hartley was there.
The Intervention
Hartley doesn't feel like he belongs there.
Everyone's at STAR Labs to stage the 'no solo hero-ing' intervention on Barry and Hartley can't help but wonder if they're all thinking 'Hartley doesn't really belong here with the rest of us' but are just too polite to say anything. Well, maybe not Caitlin since she was the one who'd let him know what was going on and gave him a ride there. Obviously she thought he belonged with them or she wouldn't have said anything at all, much less offered to give him a lift. (He was still saving up for a new car since he'd been forced to sell his last one to fund his failed super villainy.)
Well, okay, mostly Hartley's worried that Cisco thinks Hartley doesn't belong because, out of all of them, Cisco has the most reason to dislike Hartley and if Cisco doesn't want Hartley there then everyone else will invariably back him up and then…
But Barry shows up and no one asks Hartley to leave, so he sits quietly while letting everyone else say their piece. He waits for a good moment to speak up, but the feeling of not belonging hangs over him, the familiar presence of impostor syndrome whispering in his ear that they're going to remember any minute now that he's not a nice person and doesn't belong. Today is clearly a bad day for his anxiety issues and, having resolved to stop taking his issues out on others, Hartley's hands itch for his gloves and target practice; anything to stop feeling like he's shrinking into nothingness.
"What about you, Hartley?" Barry demands, snapping Hartley out of his silent spiral. "Do you have anything to pile on or are you just here to watch the show?"
Or, maybe, Hartley can indeed take out his frustrations on Barry just this once – if he's careful with his phrasing and hurts only so much is necessary to make his point without being a total asshole about it. Because, quite frankly, it seems like the problem isn't that he has difficulty being nice but that they have a hard time giving the kick in the ass necessary to get their point through Barry's thick skull.
"I think you're being a selfish asshole," Hartley replies, adjusting his glasses for effect. "Ronnie's death is not your fault. As everyone has reminded you, repeatedly, we all made choices that day. Some of them spectacularly stupid in hindsight, but we each made those decisions for ourselves. So if you could stop trying to act like you've single-handedly invented survivors guilt or treating us like we all suddenly lose the ability to make our own decisions the minute the wondrous Barry Allen walks into a room, that'd be great thanks. It's really disrespectful to all of us, but more importantly… it's annoying.
"You're pushing everyone in this room away, supposedly for our safety. But that's not it. It's to protect yourself. You're afraid of someone else getting hurt or killed. Which could happen the next time one of us crosses the road or trips on the stairs. All you're doing is refusing to let us make our own choices regarding what is, rightfully, as much our fight as it is yours. Which, again, is disrespectful. We're not children, Barry. We don't need you making our decisions for us. If you keep this up then maybe by the time you pull your head out of your ass and admit that Team Flash doesn't actually work without the team, no one's going to give enough of a shit about you to come help when you need it most.
"But also, consider this, Barry. You don't want us getting hurt because you care about us. So how the fuck do you we feel watching you hurt yourself for last six months? Because I don't know about them, but I'm pissed off at you for harming someone that, against my will, I've actually come to be fond of."
"Awww," Cisco murmured, elbowing Hartley who flushed and glared at him automatically, "you do have a heart."
"Shut up." Hartley scowled harder when all Cisco did was snicker.
"I… I'm not hurting myself," Barry stammered out.
"Self harm isn't just the obvious of physically harming oneself. It's not always that direct. It can be deliberately pushing yourself too hard, not giving yourself time to recover… it can be acting recklessly in order for someone else to hurt you. It can be not caring for your own physical needs." Caitlin paused a beat before adding, "can you honestly say you haven't been causing yourself harm?"
"We love you Barry," Iris added. "But Hartley's right. You're being a selfish asshole and ignoring how much we're hurting because all you can see is your own pain."
The wounded puppy expression on Barry's face tells Hartley that they've gotten through to him. He hems and haws but, finally, relents to the team part of Team Flash getting reinstated.
Truly, a swift kick in the ass does wonders sometimes.
"Group hug," Cisco declared.
"Uh, no, if we're going to get all touchy-feely now, I think I'm just going to bail early…" Hartley groaned as Cisco latched onto his arm to drag him into the group hug anyway.
"Nope, Hartley, it's too late," Cisco cackled. "You're one of us."
"One of us," both Caitlin and Iris chorused while Joe snickered and Barry tried to pretend he wasn't about five seconds away from bawling over how emotionally charged the whole intervention wound up being for him.
Rolling his eyes, Hartley let himself get drawn in with the others. Seemed like he really did belong as a part of Team Flash after all. And knowing that was well worth the indignity of a group hug.
Notes: While not the WiP I'd intended to finish today, I'm glad to move something out of that folder and into the completed pile. And having Hartley bitch out Barry for not seeing beyond his own nose - or his own hurts - was cathartic. I love Barry, but when he's hurting he has a habit of becoming a bit of a selfish jerk...