We Are Never Alone

Chapter 1: It Hurts

The last of the heartfelt lyrics rang out and the crowd roared. His throat felt raw and full, almost choking, his eyes were burning with such emotion that he squeezed them closed and he waited with bated breath until the lights went out. When they did, the crowd went wild, screaming the band's name and Grimmjow rushed off the stage. He found himself on the tour bus, curling up in the corner of the couch with his head resting on his knees as he choked out the sob he could no longer keep in, one hand fisting in his hair.

He was right to put his newest song at the end of the setlist. He really wasn't sure how he was going to react with all the adrenaline of the real show. What he felt on stage was tenfold worse than what he did during the rehearsals. He didn't know how long he was there for, nor did he even take notice in the first place. All he knew was painful memories, his burning throat, streaming eyes and clenched teeth as he hugged his knees closer.

Finally, everything became numb and a buzzing sense of warmth enveloped him. He could finally take a full breath and was suddenly aware of how tired he was. As he slowly unfurled himself from his position, knees and back aching and stiff from sitting like that for so long, he heard voices coming from the outside of the bus. Recognising them as Nelliel and Ulquiorra he relaxed a little and walked over to the small bathroom area to splash some water on his face.

A knock came from the door. "Hey, Grimm? You in there?" Nelliel asked softly, voice muffled. Knowing that his face would still be flushed, Grimmjow didn't even bother to look at the mirror and sighed, making his way to the door and slowly opening it.

"Hey," he said tiredly, stepping back up the steps to make room for his friends to climb aboard. He moved to the couch again, sitting on one leg and bringing his other up towards his chest so he could rest his chin on his knee, the other two following and sitting down next to him. Nelliel leaned against him and rubbed soothing circles on his back, giving him a chance to talk first. It felt nice with the warm, subduing tiredness he felt that had evolved to exhaustion. He stifled a yawn and looked blearily at his bandmates.

"I'm sorry guys. I know I should have stayed for the thank you's like we always do, but fuck… It hit so hard." His voice was so quiet, a little gruff from the tears and it still held so much sadness. Ulquiorra reached around Nelliel to place a reassuring hand on Grimmjow's knee.

"You don't have to apologise," he said. Grimmjow offered a happy, yet sad smile, "Thanks."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nelliel asked, raising her head to look at him.

"There's nothing really to talk about. I mean, it's just the same. I know people say that with time, it gets easier, but it's been months and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. That song was supposed to help me deal with it, but I'm not sure if it does and just keeps the feelings alive for me," he sighed, putting his head back on his knee.

"Grimm, it's only been months. You can't expect to come to terms with this in just a few months. Ulquiorra and I weren't anywhere near as close as you were to him and that's why it's much harder for you. Of course, we still get upset about it," Nelliel replied, wiping her eyes, "but you grew up with him and he was always there for you. Having Joel suddenly gone is going to hurt. You are allowed to still mourn him. Even now and even in a year's time. It's okay. Remember though, you have us that you can rely on, okay? We will help you and support you in any way we can. If you need to postpone or cancel a show, we will. We mean it, okay?" Grimmjow nodded and moved his arm to curl around her, pulling her close for comfort and sighed against her.

"I know, Nel. It just seems like a long time already, but at the same time as if it happened yesterday as the pain takes my breath away almost daily," he tightened his hold as he felt his throat constrict again, "It — It just hurts so much sometimes," his voice broke, "I get so lost and I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what to do," he finally pushed out around the lump in his throat before breaking down once again.

The three of them didn't move for a good while and between the soothing caresses and the comfortable silence, no one wanted to. But Grimmjow's legs were beginning to protest again and the fatigue he felt before was much worse. After a second breakdown, he almost had no energy left. He stifled a yawn and straightened, clearing his throat a little at the thickness that hung around. Nelliel sat up with him, yawning herself.

"How are you feeling?" she asked her voice soft and caring. He nodded, "Yeah, better. Thanks, guys. I don't know what I would do without you." He slowly stood, feeling his back and knees once again ache and stretched. "We should grab some food and then head on over to the hotel. I'm so freaking exhausted I could sleep for weeks," he offered, then paused before calling, "Shoddy not driving!" with a grin. Ulquiorra and Nelliel scoffed and laughed along with him, effectively dispersing the solemn atmosphere.

Finally, the tour was over. It was exhausting dealing with such intense emotions from performing his tribute song on a daily basis and from the overwhelming support of his fans. Every now and then during that song, he would glimpse tearful faces in the crowd. His followers felt Joel's absence as well. In a strange way, it was humbling, but Grimmjow then realised that he could relate to them. When Chester Bennington from Linkin Park passed, he was quite upset and in shock, not being able to believe it. He never knew the man personally, but through his songs and from years of following the band, it hit him as if he did. It was the songs that connected them together. He then remembered the last concert he went to, the tribute to Chester, where the whole audience sang 'In the End' while Mike Shinoda played the piano… The emotion, the connection Mike created with the fans by simply talking to them as if he was talking to each one individually, before asking everyone to sing as loud as they can so that wherever Chester was, he could hear them, was beautiful. It was a feeling Grimmjow didn't know how to describe and just remembering it, made him understand his fans. He wanted to reach out to them too. His band was big now with enough influence that he could make a difference, just like Linkin Park.

Just like that, he made up his mind. Ideas were forming in his brain.

A few days later, Grimmjow was messaging his friends on their group chat. Nelliel had brought up that maybe it was time to find another drummer. 'It doesn't feel the same playing without the real thing,' she had written. They had been using computer programs to add drums to their newer songs when they were recording and it was easy enough to add it to their live shows. However, Grimmjow agreed. No matter how much it stung to read those words, no matter how his heart clenched painfully and brought tears to his eyes, he knew she was right. It didn't feel that same. The thudding of the real thing in your chest during a live show was a unique experience and was quickly addictive. He did miss it, but any thought of filling the hole in his band felt somewhat like a betrayal. He knew for a fact that Joel would clip him over the head for thinking like that, but he couldn't help it. Sighing and wiping the tears from his eyes, he replied back typing out his agreement.

From that day forward, he was nervous. Advertisements were put out and it was a waiting game until his manager, Ishida, emailed through the videos of all who applied.

He knew being nervous was a waste of his energy, but he wasn't sure what to expect. Will the band be able to choose someone who was both good and confident in their skills? Will they be able to find someone who meshes well with them as friends? What if they choose someone and it doesn't work out? They will have to go through the whole process again. So, to try and avoid those thoughts, he kept himself busy. He had a couple of ideas for new songs, hashing them out, adding to them and changing what didn't seem right and when the email finally came from his manager, he had three songs ready to be fine-tuned and worked out with the band.

It was a Sunday, a relaxing day. Grimmjow was slouched on his couch, feet up on the coffee table with a packet of M&Ms at his side and an empty coffee mug that sat on the floor next to him. He was rewatching Iron Man when his phone buzzed on his stomach. Opening it up he saw that it was from Ishida and his heart leapt.

'Audition Videos' the subject read.

This is it.

Taking a breath, he sat up, placing the chocolate on the table. He was actually a little excited as these people were his fans, it would be cool to see which songs they would pick to best show their talents. Nevertheless, watching video auditions is easier to deal with than seeing the applicants in real life. He opened up the chat bubble to his friends and messaged them to let them know about the e-mail. They should have received it as well, but they could have been busy and not noticed. Plus, the sooner they knew about it, the quicker they can plan a day to go through the videos.

Not a minute after he sent the message there was a 'Cool,' from Nelliel and Ulquiorra's icon was showing that he read the message too. They quickly arranged that they would meet at Grimmjow's house the following day as they all agreed that the sooner they get through the process, they can get to know their new member and figure things out.

Now that he was sitting up, his lazy attitude had dispersed, so he decided to tidy his mess then go to the shops to grab some snacks in preparation for tomorrow. The rest of the day passed uneventfully. He got to finish his movie when he came back from the shops, he tweaked a couple of songs and did some vocal warmups and practice before he decided to call it a night and went to bed.

Grimmjow was up early the next morning as he wanted to make up some food for his friends, rather than just grazing on the snacks he bought. But before he did that he wanted to make some breakfast. He was absolutely starving from eating next to nothing yesterday and what he did eat wasn't healthy in the slightest. He grabbed some bacon from the fridge, took out a few slices and flopped them on a foiled tray before sliding them under the grill and closing the door. He grabbed two slices of bread and a plate, then buttered them. After checking the bacon and turning them over, he grabbed a metal Mandalorian cup, that he bought from a pop culture store, from the cupboard above his coffee machine and set it under the nozzle of the machine, popping in a pod before closing the lid and starting the pour. Next, he grabbed the milk and poured some into his milk frother and warmer. He didn't spend his money on many fancy things as most celebrities do, but coffee was a must. After a cup from this machine, you could never go back to instant.

Ew.

Sure, coffee wasn't a good idea when you were already feeling jitters as Grimmjow was over having to watch the auditions today, however, after having coffee every day for years, its effect on the body tends to dwindle. It's more out of habit and addiction. That's right. Grimmjow is addicted to coffee. There are worse things to be addicted to.

While he was waiting for the machine to finish, he checked the bacon once more then removed it seeing that it was cooked and turned off the grill. He added it to one slice of bread, squirting a generous amount of HP sauce on top, then adding the other piece of bread to complete his bacon sandwich. He scrunched up the foil and threw it in the bin, returned the tray to the grill and walked back over to his coffee. Seeing that the machine had finished pouring, Grimmjow removed his mug, ejected the pod and turned it off. He then emptied the hot milk into his coffee, mixing as he was going, then added two teaspoons of sugar, stirring that in also. He liked it sweet. He finished his breakfast in silence at the kitchen counter. He was thinking, figuring out what he would make first. He decided on potato salad and some little sandwiches.

By the time everything was ready, sandwiches on platters, snacks in bowls, potato salad out of the fridge with plates next to it, his door was already knocked on.

"Hey guys, c'mon in," Grimmjow greeted his friends when he opened the door. Nelliel greeted him with a 'Hello' and a hug, then walked past him to put her bag and keys on the kitchen counter, where Ulquiorra just nodded at him in acknowledgement, following Nelliel to the kitchen, putting down his own keys.

"Wow, Grimm! You didn't have to make us food!" Nelliel gasped.

"Don't worry about it. It was my pleasure. Plus, I didn't eat too well yesterday, so some proper food will do me good," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Thanks anyway," she offered before continuing, "Where do you want to do this? The lounge or…" Grimmjow nodded.

"Yeah. The study would be a bit small."

"Oh, that's true," she agreed, then skipped towards the lounge room with sandwiches in one hand and a bowl of chips in the other, setting them down on the coffee table before falling into the couch with an exaggerated sigh. Ulquiorra brought over the potato salad and the plates and Grimmjow followed with the rest of the food and cutlery.

"Qiorra? Did you bring the USB?" Grimmjow asked as he turned on the T.V. and the sound system. There was a grunted 'mm' sound from him in affirmation, then reached into his pocket to grab it. He handed it to Grimmjow then sat on the couch with Nelliel. Grimmjow plugged the USB into the T.V., grabbed the remote, then joined his friends. They were in for a long day. The USB registered over 200 videos, all at least a few minutes each. Settled and comfy, phones ready to take notes, the first audition was played. They had agreed that if they liked someone that they would note the video number and the applicant's name, so, at the end, they could rewatch and sift through the remaining auditions.

There was a mix of talents, most being able to play the bands' songs well, some adding their own flair and even some who had written their own songs. The variation definitely made the day go faster, but it also surprised the group. They didn't know what to expect, to begin with, but they had thought that the applicants would only pick their songs, only play the way it was done in the songs, so the changes were welcomed. They had about 50 videos left. The food was mostly gone, they were tired and they were sore and a little restless from sitting so long. Of course, they took a break here and there to stretch and use the bathroom, but it didn't really help in the long run. They took another quick break, getting some water, stretching and returning the empty bowls and plates to the kitchen, then it was back to the couch.

The next two applicants weren't that bad, but Grimmjow didn't really 'feel' them, so he let their names slip from his mind. He wished all the best to them, they just weren't what he was looking for. He breathed a sigh, scrubbing his hands over his face and rubbing his eyes, then pressed next on his remote.

The man in this video caught his attention. He had lovely chocolate brown eyes, a nice straight nose and fair skin. That was all you could see at the beginning. Nelliel had chuckled and muttered, "Cute," and Grimmjow agreed. When the man set his camera at an appropriate angle, he let it go and moved away. He sat behind his drum kit and picked up his sticks in one hand and scratched his shoulder with the other. He wore a loose, black, hooded, sleeveless tank with ripped, black skinny jeans and original style Converse shoes.

"My name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm 27 years old and I am auditioning to hopefully be the next drummer of the Espada. Sorry for the up close and personal vision of me at the beginning. I've tried to record this at least 4 times already, but I couldn't get the angle right and then I couldn't get the camera to do the countdown thing. I hope this doesn't impact my audition." The man then went on to explain which song he would be sampling. He took a breath, pressed play on a remote that came from nowhere and threw it to the side. The song started up as he rolled his shoulders and neck. His eyes were closed and his brows were furrowed in concentration as he nodded his head to the beat. On his own cue, he threw himself into the song flawlessly. It was as if he had been playing the whole time. He didn't miss a beat, his movements sure and well practised and he looked so damn good playing, especially with his lithe arms taught from the strain. On that note, Grimmjow shook himself and typed out his name and video number. He was by far the favourite of the night. It didn't have anything to do with his looks, but it was an added bonus. The song came to a close and Ichigo hit the last drum in the sequence before allowing himself to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He was breathing a little harder, his hair was a darker shade around the front and sides of his head and he had the biggest smile on his face that made his eyes sparkle. He must really enjoy this.

"I do apologise for being a little sweaty, the ventilation in this studio is shocking. But anyway, I hoped you liked my performance and consider me for the position," he said then went to stand up to, presumably, turn off the camera, however, he abruptly sat back down. A slight pause as if he was thinking and then, "I know this is just an audition to see what I can do, and you may not pick me, but I just wanted to say this: I'm not auditioning to replace Joel. No one could replace him and he is the reason I decided to follow my passion. He was my role model, sure we were similar in age, but it didn't matter. He had something I wanted to strive for and he made me want to get better. I am auditioning for myself and to try my damnedest to be as good as him. In my mind he was one of the best, so he is going to be a tough act to follow. But, should you choose me, it would be a privilege and an honour to be where he once was, hoping that he would approve of me." With that, he stood up and turned off the camera. There was such intense emotion in his voice and his expression was one of determination. He was serious and believed every single word he spoke.

"That's so heartwarming. Don't you think?" Nelliel questioned sounding close to tears, looking between her friends. Ulquiorra nodded and Grimmjow verbally agreed.

"That was such a nice thing to say. I'm sure the other applicants had their own reasons for joining and some may be similar reasons to this dude's, but none of them said anything. They didn't have to of course, but just the initiative he took to say it off the bat like that is a good quality. It already made him stick out in my book. He's on my list."

Nelliel snorted a bit, "I'm sure that's not the only thing that made him stick out to you, Grimm." He opened his mouth to retort but Nelliel continued, knowing what he was going to say, "Come on Grimm, I saw how your eyes were glued to him the whole time. But I will agree and say that he is pretty handsome. I think with what he said, sways you that little bit more, don't you reckon? It gives you a glimpse of his personality. It was easy to tell that he wasn't lying or acting as if the whole camera thing wasn't a clue. Either way, he's on my list and… yeah, he's on Ulquiorra's list too."

"Oh, whatever," he grumbled, ignoring her victorious little smile and settled back into his seat. When everyone was ready, they continued watching the auditions.

By the time the last video ended, Grimmjow couldn't help himself but to loudly exclaim, "Thank fuck it's over!" as he purposely collapsed to the floor and sprawled out, stretching his limbs. It wasn't that the applicants were bad. It was sitting for so long that did him in and now that it was finally over, the relief was tremendous.

"I second that," Ulquiorra stated, stretching his legs, arms and then his back.

"I third-ed that," Nelliel said, then backtracked, "Is third-ed even a word? Eh, you know what I mean. I'm so tired."

"Should we go over our lists tomorrow? I know I'm not up for it tonight. I'm ready for bed," Grimmjow supplied. Tired replies of, "Mm," and "Sure," were all that he got back. Slowly, they cleaned up, idle chat here and there and then they were gone. Not thinking about anything other than his bed, Grimmjow tugged off his clothes, leaving them where they dropped and fell into bed with a satisfied sigh.

The next morning, Nelliel and Ulquiorra arrived pretty early, keen to go through their lists. With his coffee in hand, Grimmjow sat on the floor by the coffee table. He wasn't keen on the squishy couch after yesterday, so the hard floor was welcomed. They took out a piece of paper where they wrote a third list which was made from their own lists combined. It made it easier to see who they should watch again. It wasn't that big a list. Only 23 applicants. After going through their videos again, they were able to narrow them down to 10. But that was where they were stuck. All of them were really good, but without further information and hearing them play something else, it was hard. Nelliel texted their manager as such and after a few minutes he replied.

"He says, 'I figured that you might not be able to choose just one. So my idea to you is that we hold face-to-face auditions. Let me know what you think.' I like that idea. I will get to see them in person, maybe have a little chat with them too."

"Actually… Yeah, that's probably the best option. At least we will be able to see if they can perform as good live and under pressure. Like, it's not a whole crowd, but playing in front of people can be hard," Grimmjow acknowledged.

"Mm. I like this idea also," added Ulquiorra. Nelliel was filled with so much excitement and sent back a text saying that they would like to do that. That day the 10 remaining applicants were informed of the next steps. They could play whatever they wanted, just like their first auditions, however, they were required to perform live. All applicants were given two months to prepare.

So for the following months, Grimmjow went about his days like he usually would. He would meet his friends at the studio and practice where he showed them the new songs that he had created. So they went about piecing the music together and changing what didn't fit or feel right. He went to the gym, watched some T.V and hung out with his friends away from the studio, going out to eat or to the cinema. Admittedly, he was becoming anxious again with the waiting and with the uncertainty of what was to come, so he was trying to fill his time with things that crowded his mind. If he didn't have free thinking space, he couldn't think about what was worrying him. Again, he knows that it doesn't do him any good and rationally he knows it is fine and Joel wouldn't be mad at him, but since his passing, some uncertainties are too much. Especially when they revolve around Joel. He knows now that the anxiety is due to his loss. Without his brother there, he feels like doesn't know how he would react when situations arise about or for him and without him there to give the approval, Grimmjow feels lost and unauthorised to make those decisions on his behalf. It feels like a loop that never ends. Rationally he knows these things for what they are and has ways to get through them, but sometimes it just hits hard from seemingly nowhere at all and he can't help but to ride the wave. Luckily he has his friends by his side to provide support and had a good few weeks of counselling to give him the mental tools he needs, to put into practice. It will get harder before it gets easier.

Audition day arrived and Grimmjow was so anxious that he didn't even think to dress up. He thoughtlessly went for comfy blue jeans, a baggy white shirt and a loose beige jacket. He wanted to feel comfortable. Looking at himself in the mirror, he supposed it wasn't a bad thing. He looked like any other person, not someone famous who dresses to the nines. Not that he minds dressing up, he knows that he looks fantastic and he enjoys the attention that he gets, but today he is restless, his insides quivering and his hands fidgety. After spraying on some aftershave and giving his hair a little tousle and picking his dog tag out from under his shirt, he left the bathroom to the kitchen. He definitely didn't feel like eating breakfast today, so grabbing his sunset orange travel tumbler from the cupboard above his coffee machine, he set about making the coffee. When it was done, he applied the lid and moved it next to his keys on the kitchen counter. He scanned the room, mentally checking off that he has the items he needs and has done everything before he sets off to the performance centre.

'Keys, phone, wallet and coffee are over there at the counter, shoes are at the door, teeth are done, put deodorant on, put aftershave on… Notebook!' he realised, walking in the direction of his study. Once he had that with a pen tucked into the spiral, he went to leave the room only to pick up his fidget cube from the desk as an afterthought. He thought it could help with his nerves and his twitchy fingers.

By the time Grimmjow arrived at the performance centre, his nerves hadn't subsided even a little. He had to pry his fingers from the steering wheel and his back was sore from how rigid he was. Flexing his fingers and wriggling around in his seat in an attempt to loosen his back, he did some slow breathing to calm his heart. Once he could move freely again, he climbed out of his car, put his notebook in his jacket pocket and put his key in the lock only to realise that he forgot to get his coffee. Blasphemy! He reached over to the centre console, picked it up, then closed the door and locked the car. He took the stairs leading up to the entrance three at a time, one, because it was fun, and two, because it helped to rid more of his nerves. Upon entering the building he walked up to the front desk and flashed his ID. He was immediately given the go-ahead and directions to the small auditorium that they would be using. Once he walked in, he spotted Nelliel and Ulquiorra sitting in the middle of the third row, their manager on the stage, head hanging around the curtain to the left side of the stage.

"Grimmjow!" Nelliel exclaimed when she noticed his presence, walking through the aisle of folded seats to meet him with a hug, "How are you feeling?" she asked with a knowing glance down at his right hand. The one with the cube. He smiled a little.

"I'm okay. I'm still fairly nervous, but better than this morning. But…" he trailed off, looking away as his heart suddenly felt like lead at admitting his deeper feelings, "I feel like I'm betraying Joel. I was able to keep these feelings away, even while watching the first auditions, but now that the day has finally arrived… I don't know. It feels more real and I don't want Joel to think that he was replaced." Embracing him again, holding his head to her shoulder she said softly, "I know it must be hard for you Grimm. But, as you said the other week, you know for a fact that Joel would understand. We all agreed he would slap you over the head for even thinking it. He would be happy that we are moving on. He would be proud of you, Grimm. Proud of us all, but most of all you, his brother." Grimmjow squeezed Nelliel a little, sniffing his nose and then pulling back.

"Thank you. I know I say it a lot, but I don't know what I would do without you guys," he said sincerely. He knew that Ulquiorra felt the same. Though he never talks much, they've been friends long enough that they rarely need words between them. Nelliel does it enough for them both!

He wiped at his eyes, took a deep breath in and plonked himself down in one of the seats, finally able to take a glorious sip of coffee. He got himself as comfy as the seats would allow, putting his feet up on the chair in front of him, coffee in one hand and his cube in the other. On the stage, the band had their spare drum kit set up, just in case someone wasn't able to bring their own, as some of the applicants they chose lived quite far from this performance centre. After a few minutes of idle chat between his friends, things finally began. Ishida clapped his hands to get their attention to ask if they were ready and once they said yes, he moved behind the curtain again to call the first person.

Similarly to their videos, the first 5 auditions were great. Again a mix of his songs and their own flair. He really couldn't fault them too much. Two of them missed a couple of beats, which was to be expected as it was a live performance and the stress and nerves would be running high. The other three did just as well, without missing any beats. Before each of them began, Nelliel asked some questions and had a small chat with them, first to get a feel for their personalities and to help them feel more comfortable. At the end of each performance, all three applauded them. Once the 5th audition was complete, they were allowed a minute intermission of 3 minutes. Grimmjow used that time to run to the bathroom, as did Nelliel, and grab a snack from the vending machine just outside the theatre they were in. Now that they were in the swing of things, he was more calm and relaxed which meant that his stomach protesting in hunger finally registered in his brain.

When he sat back in his seat, his chocolate bar practically demolished, his brain supplied him with a thought, 'It must be Ichigo's turn soon.' Guiltily he was excited about that. He tried not to be biased when watching the auditions, but the man struck something in him from that first video. Before he could delve into it anymore, Ishida yelled at them to be quiet and introduced the next applicant.

Ichigo happened to be the very last audition of the day. Grimmjow was positively ready to jump out of his skin he was such a mixture of nerves and elation. Nerves for not knowing if the man was going to perform well, but elation for seeing him in person and for his awesome skills.

"Okay! Last but not least, Ichigo Kurosaki!" Ishida announced. Grimmjow moved to the edge of his seat, elbows resting on his knees as he leant forward. Ichigo moved almost timidly across the stage to the spare kit. Today he wore white trainers, blue, skinny jeans with rips at the knees, a conforming white t-shirt and black fingerless gloves. He looked gorgeous, but Grimmjow wasn't biased.

"H-hello," he said into the microphone that was set near the kit.

"Hello!" Nelliel answered on her microphone. "How are you today, Ichigo?"

"To be honest, I'm shitting myself," he laughed, moving the drums slightly and setting the height on the stool to where he was comfortable.

"That's okay. Everyone gets nervous. Even Grimmy here," she responded, laughing a little when Grimmjow let out a, "Hey!" That earned a nice chuckle and rosey cheeks from Ichigo.

"Where do you live, Ichigo?" she continued.

"I live here actually. Only a few streets away."

"How long have you been playing for?"

"I've been playing since I was 9."

"Why did you start playing? Was it something you happened to try out?" Nelliel asked, digging for more information.

"I… I took it up after my mum died. Arts and music were suggestions a councillor made to my dad to help give me ways of dealing, so we tried out a lot of things. I took to the drums like a fish to water and here we are."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, we just wanted to get a feel of you as a person."

"No, don't be sorry. You didn't know and I'm good. I know that she would be happy for me and she would be really excited that I'm auditioning for you guys," Ichigo reasoned with a warm smile.

"That's lovely, Ichigo. Have you had any gigs before?"

"Yeah, a few actually, but all mainly in clubs and bars when someone needed a filler. I pick things up pretty quickly, so I was always called to help. Well, whenever I had free time or finished work for the day."

"Oh, cool. What do you do for work?" she asked.

"I'm a doctor," he said almost shyly.

"A doctor! That's so freaking awesome!" Grimmjow all but yelled, startling Ichigo as he visibly jumped. Grabbing the microphone from Nelliel he quickly apologised, "I'm so sorry for yelling like that. It was just so unexpected. Not that I had any expectations of you… I mean I did because I've seen your audition video… Ah! Do you know what I mean?" He hung his head and put his face in his hands. Looking back up when Ichigo began talking again.

"It's okay," he laughed, "I understand. Nelliel was right though, you do get nervous." He had a cheeky smile plastered on his face. Nelliel took back the microphone.

"Oh, I like you already," she said, giving Ichigo another blush with the compliment.

"Thanks," he replied.

"Okay, Ichigo, the stage is yours. Whenever you're ready." Ichigo nodded. He rolled his shoulders and his neck, stretched out his arms and twisted his wrists and gave the kick drum a couple of experimental kicks. He adjusted himself on the seat again, moving it forward a little and moved his arms around over the other drums, testing if they were going to be in the right positions. Once he seemed satisfied, he gave them a few taps, nodded to himself and pointed to the side of the stage to let the person there know that he was ready for the song to start playing.

If the band had any doubts about Ichigo's skills, they were blown away. The video did not do him justice. He had put his own spin on one of their songs as well as choosing to cover one of Joel's solo pieces. Grimmjow was smiling from ear to ear, his hand had found Nelliel's at some point, needing the contact and was squishing it from the overflow of excitement. She had told him to let go when it got painful and he profusely apologised saying that he didn't realise that he was holding on so tight. He kissed the top of her hand before letting it go, turning his attention back to Ichigo. He had just finished the solo and was coming to a close. Grimmjow was ready to spring to his feet for a standing ovation. He knows that the decision was a group one, but in his mind, he'd already chosen Ichigo.