It was a Friday. Scotty Morison, being the responsible and loving prime minister that he was, decided to visit a selective high school in Sydney, amidst the Coronavirus outbreak to soothe the minds of his citizens. He might've had a sore throat for a few days and this morning when he woke up he felt a little hot on the face but he was sure it was normal - he was fine. Upon arriving at the school entrance, he was offered a facemask and some hand sanitizers to utilise, but he assured the school staff that he was feeling extremely well - may have coughed a bit in their faces but that's just because he was choking on his cough lolly. Nothing to be concerned about. He was the Prime Minister! Coronavirus could not infect him! With this positive mindset, he strutted down the hallway, ready to shake some students' hands when out of nowhere, he bumped into a short lady. Of course his first greeting was to cough into his hands and extend it out to her to shake. How polite of him! Mama taught him well!
The short brunette looked a bit sceptical and frowned a little. However, she quickly recognised his face and remembered that she saw him on TV a few nights ago… Who was he though, she had forgotten… She was sure he was famous and very popular seeing the huge crowd and murmurs here and there. So with a smile plastered on her face, she gripped his hand hard and said,
"Oh my god, it's you! I saw you on TV! You're very famous! Would you like to learn Japanese with me?"
Hearing this Scotty Morison let out a sigh of exasperation. People always end up mistaking him for some celebrity. What can he say, he was born a dashing gentleman. However, his sigh went on for too long and he choked on the air once again. Cough Cough. This time he coughed right in Mrs Georgie's face. Of course, he realised that this was a little, just a little, impolite. So without further to say he took out a tissue from his breast pocket, he forgot whether he had sneezed on it before or not, and began to wipe Mrs Georgie's face apologetically and affectionately.
Mrs Georgie was not amused. But before she could reprimand his actions, she could not help but let out a huge fit of coughs. Scotty immediately retreated a far distance away from her. Oh goodness, is this coronavirus?! He was terrified, but Mrs Georgie was a gorgeous lady and he wasn't gonna let some stupid Chinese virus stop him and his possible new side chick. So he helpfully tossed the same tissue in her face, hoping she would understand his gesture but also his heart.
This drastic turn of events in the past few minutes took the rest of the SCHOOL COMMUNITY off guard, as everyone gaped at the two of them. Someone in the crowd, a man with a round belly and an Italian accent whispered,
"I thought Mrs Georgie was married, cus you know there's a Mrs in front of her name." The man was undoubtedly intelligent. How did Scotty Morison miss it at first?! Remembering his earlier gestures he felt… Even more excited! An affair! His favourite!
He was more sure than ever that he should deepen their bond. So what other ways to do so than with a classic French kiss. Smooch~ He whispered in her ears,
"The name is Scott Morison, but you can call me Scotty - only special people are allowed to call me that" He winked in an attempt to seduce. Cough Cough. Oops another accident. Why is he choking on air all the time? It must be the bad air at this school. He should definitely return back on holidays, especially since right now it is the perfect time. More extreme than bushfires meant the nation is going to collapse into a frenzy. What better time than to enjoy the beautiful fresh air of his holiday destination. He'll come back when the country is in a much better state. They can deal with the problems themselves. He's only the president, it's not in his job description. He's sure of it. Now he may be able to bring two wives with him this time! Such thoughts excited Scotty!
Ignoring the dumb look on her company's face, Mrs Georgie stood still as a statue as her brain tried to figure out whether to slap the man in front of her, puke, or call the police. Maybe ask for an ambulance while she was at it. The cough really was saying a lot about his health and maybe a subtle indication from God, his mental state.
That Autumn, Australia was hit by the largest pandemic in its history. That Autumn stock prices jumped all over the place. That Autumn the Prime Minister went missing. That Autumn a prestigious high school lost one of its; only capable; most capable teachers. Now, power was monopolised. Australia remained a colonised country, subject to the shiploads of coronavirus infected British citizens. Now, the only teacher that still wanted to work at the school; despite driving a whole hour there and back on a daily basis, was the same Italian man who pointed out Mrs Georgie's marital status. In fact he was given a raise. For pointing out the obvious, and provoking a defenceless public servant.
That year Australia learnt a lot, and matured as a nation. Oh… Australia thought, so communism wasn't so bad after all.
The end.