A/N: Hey folks, this is a fic based on the classic OneyPlays bit about the hypothetical dictator. as seen here: /watch?v=YZRbwElpRNM. Enjoy!
In the year 2016, instrumentality was narrowly avoided through the synergy of three young pilots who learned to support each other.
SEELE and those involved with the attempted Third Impact (that did not manage to 'exit' in time) were subsequently arrested by the United Nations. What remains of NERV, the paramilitary organization being manipulated by this powerful group of zealots, is working with the government and the JSSDF to defend civilians and make scientific breakthroughs.
A couple months later, the three pilots sat in the living room of Misato Katsuragi, new commander of NERV, watching a news report on Gendo Ikari, who stands trial for many war crimes alongside his sub-commander, Kozo Fuyutski.
"They are going to tear his ass apart in jail" said Asuka Langely Soryu, hotheaded pilot of Evangelion Unit-02.
"Hope so" replied Shinji Ikari, the shy and meek pilot of Evangelion Unit-01, who also happened to be Gendo's estranged son. "He deserves it for the year of hell he put me through. They can fit his remains in a bento for all I care."
"Perhaps they could take his brain to a laboratory and study it. They'd make a major leap in psychology" Spoke Rei Ayanami, the mysterious pilot of Evangelion Unit-00, who spent most of her life in tow of the former commander, thinking not much at all of herself before her friends entered her life.
Rei's unexpected humour still caught her co-pilots off guard as they each let out a good laugh.
"Hmm, I bet they could store his DNA too, that way you could grow a clone out of him." said Asuka.
"Why the hell would any of us want that?" Shinji's reply came with utter confusion.
"If in the future, there's like stores where you could buy, say, Fuyutski DNA, or Gendo DNA, and you could grow a little tiny version of one." explained Asuka.
Bewilderment from the others in the room.
Deciding to continue the hypothetical, she turned to Rei.
"Hey Rei, if you had a tiny little clone of Fuyutski, would you feel bad about torturing it?"
"What?"
"Would you torture it?"
Shinji cut in "No, Fuyutski actions were learned, they aren't genetically in him."
"Okay, but it's a clone of his brain after he did it." Asuka fired back, slightly fearing that she may be fighting this battle alone.
"Yeah, but this Fuyutski didn't do anything."
"But he's the same guy who did it."
Rei decided to speak her piece "It doesn't work that way. You're not getting all the information from the brain."
"Yes you are" Asuka turned to Rei
"Says who?"
"Says my fuckin' logic."
Shinji pressed on "Memories can't be transferred though."
"Listen! It's a clone of the real guy! It's the exact same!" Asuka needed to dig her heels into this one
"Then it's not a clone. I am one, I should know" Rei's tone didn't change.
Shinji added onto that "If it's a clone, then he didn't do anything, Asuka."
"But he's the exact same!"
"Why does he have to be a clone!? It's hypotheical, get the real one! If you want the real Fuyutski, get the real Fuyutski! You don't need a clone! A clone is an innocent that only has thoughts!"
Asuka began to heel-dig "I'm telling you that if it's the real guy, of course you would torture him, that why I'm asking if it were a clone! If your dad were in your pocket and you would do whatever you want, you would fuck with him! You guys would have a wild time with it!"
At this point, Misato came in the door, home early from another day cleaning up the SEELE mess.''I'm home!" she called out reflexively.
"Welcome home!" the pilots replied in unison.
After a beat, Asuka decided she wasn't done with the discussion "You guys didn't answer the question."
"You didn't ask a good question" Shinji held his ground.
"I did! If you had a little clone of Gendo, would you torture it?!"
Misato walked into the living room and decided to join the conversation "That doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't you just ask if I had a tiny Gendo? If it's a clone, I wouldn't, because that peron didn't commit the actions."
"But he did!" Asuka said, turning her attention.
"No he didn't, the actual Ikari did." Misato refuted
Asuka was not about to give this up "The actual Gendo did, okay, but this guy did it in his thoughts! He's still a bad guy!"
"Asuka, your neighbour could be thinking these things" said Rei.
"You guys aren't listening!"
"WE ARE!" said everyone in reply
"You're not making logical sense! Why wouldn't you just say he's a perfect copy?" Added Shinji
Asuka sighed "Fine! He's a perfect copy! Now answer the question, would you fucking torture him?"
"But did he commit the crimes?" Asked Misato.
"No, he thinks he did!" Answered Asuka.
Rei was more confused than before "That does not hold up. Why not just say you had the former commander himself, but as a tiny version?"
Asuka fired back "No, it's a copy of him."
"Then I wouldn't, he didn't do anything." She concluded.
Shinji thought for a moment, then asked "You keep saying he's tiny, why is he tiny?"
"Because he's easier to fuck with!"
"So is it a clone or a perfect copy?" asked Rei
Asuka turned to her "It's a perfect copy, he's 6 inches tall"
Shinji interjected "That's not a perfect copy!"
Misato nodded in agreement "If he's 6 inches, that's not a perfect copy"
Asuka fumed "Argh! You guys have no imagination at all!"
Shinji sighed "I do, but that doesn't make sense!"
"If you said to someone 'Oh, it's a perfect copy,' they wouldn't imagine it to be 6 inches tall" Rei shot back.
Asuka hit her boiling point and shouted "I fucking said, from the fucking beginning, that he was fucking small!"
There was a pause.
Then an outburst of laughter from Misato, followed by everyone including Asuka joining in.
With the intellectual debate over and the mood in the room not hostile, Shinji got up to cook dinner.