Of all the days for the damn law to get nosey! Right when he was in the middle of the biggest job of his life!
Okay, so maybe he'd been going a little fast on his bike. Was that any reason for the Heroes to stop him? Worse than the damn cops sometimes. It ain't like anybody got hurt. And besides, he had a good reason. With the goods he was carrying, he needed to get back to the Boss, ASAP.
He'd really be in for it if he was late. The price of failure, well, it'd be pretty steep.
"Name?" the taller one asked. Some kind of blond All Might wannabe, prancing around in a cape. Guy oughta realize, ain't nobody going to replace a legend like that. He'd be better off being his own man, standing on his own two feet.
"Tatsu," he said, peering over his shades. Like the guy didn't already know, after he'd scrutinized his ID. He clenched a fist, then released it. Had to play it cool. Same old, same old. Don't give them any more than they ask for.
"Occupation?" the Hero asked.
"I'm a househusband."
"You're a… what?!" the tall one boggled, eyes wide.
"Wait a minute!" the smaller one said, dressed like some kind of green jackrabbit. "Lemillion! Don't you know who this is?"
"What? You recognize him, Deku?" the tall one—Lemillion—asked.
"That's the Immortal Dragon!" Deku said, shaking like a faulty blender as he pointed. "He's an S-Class Villain and a legendary Yakuza!"
Tatsu quickly realized that Deku wasn't just short, he was young. A kid. They were recruiting them earlier and earlier, weren't they? Indoctrinate them to the code early, keep them in line when they got big.
"They say he killed the Eight Precepts of Death in a single night!" Deku went on, still trembling. "But then he disappeared! Nobody's seen him since! They say he took something of incredible value, but no one knows what!"
That again. It always came back to it, didn't it? Didn't matter how far you ran, your past always caught up with you. And here he thought he'd left all that behind. The fire in his belly churned. There wasn't time for this, not with the job he had waiting for him at home. He took in a breath and let it out through his nose in a puff of smoke. It curled around his head like a halo before dispersing in the crisp, clean air.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!' Lemillion shouted, shifting into a position like he was ready to throw down. Beside him, he was Deku doing the same thing. "Do not, I repeat, do not use your Quirk! Or we'll be forced to take action against you!"
"Look," Tatsu said, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. Sometimes, you just had to know how to talk to people. Grease a few wheels, play the game. It was just the way the world worked, ain't no changing it.
Lemillion and Deku both flinched. Retrieving the good stuff he had there, he pried open Lemillion's fist with his other hand, then dropped his prize into it. "Let's be reasonable about this. There ain't no reason any of us got to throw down. Why don't you just take this and forget you saw me, huh? Get yourself something nice."
Tatsu adjusted his hat, making sure it was tight against his head. He was gonna have to ride like crazy if he wanted to get there in time to get the job done. He fixed Deku with a look. "And don't go thinking you can rat him out, kid. Plenty there for the both of you."
Lemillon stared at the coupons that he'd put in the Hero's hand. "I… what?"
Of course, by that point, he was already biking away.
"Hey, I'm home," he said, slipping his shoes off in the foyer. The apartment still looked clean. "You been keeping a good watch, Gin?"
The cat gave him a disinterested look and yawned, before padding off. One of these days, he was going to have to have a talk with him about letting the family down… But not today. The Boss was too fond of him.
Instantly though, he could tell something was wrong. The sounds coming from the kitchen were sounds he'd hoped to never hear again. He still had flashbacks to the last time. Took forever to get things going again after that.
In a rush, he bolted into the kitchen. "Hey! What's the big idea!" A couple of licks of flame spilled forth from his mouth.
"Oh! Tacchan!" Miku looked up from the counter, where she was butchering some poor bastard with a knife. Not a single clean cut, no piece the same size. It was a grisly sight. Damn near turned his stomach.
Bits of carrot were everywhere. Onions and other veggies too. Miku was a damned thug when it came to cutting something up.
"I thought we said this was my turf," he said, crossing his arms.
She smiled, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. Already, he could feel his resolve melting. "Yeah, well, she wanted to make dinner for you, so I kind of had to help."
His eyes followed her gaze, to where a little girl with blue-white hair and a horn was very carefully and very studiously measuring cups of rice. "Always knew I could count on you to get the job done, kid," he said.
She let out a small gasp of surprise, then turned to race him and smiled, hopping off the stool she'd been standing on to run over and embrace him. He bent down and scooped her up into a hug. "So this was your idea, eh?"
Eri smiled and nodded. "Uh-huh! Welcome home, Daddy!"
Much as it pained him to do so, he let her go. It was time to pay tribute, after all.
"Good thing I got these," he said, reaching into his bag, pulling out a smaller bag of apples. Eri practically squealed with excitement as her grin got even bigger.
"After all," he went on, "gotta keep the Boss happy, ya know?"