Title: Blank Space

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did, I would be doing something else.

Warning: AU, canon deviation, may alternate from slow burn to what-the-frick-we're-here-already? pacing, language, violence, gen, sometimes ideas from my head that reject canon ideas, random character-centric...

Author's Note: My comrades still say I'm insane, but my family insisted they had me checked. Still... jury's out on that.

Prologue

I try not to complain.

Waking up in a different (and supposedly fictional) universe was not part of the plan, but such is life.

In hindsight, I should be extremely grateful for being born into this clan. And I am.

Actually being tended to and looked after. Having whatever you need to be easily accessible to you. Never having to go hungry and being able to eat anything you want without having to consider the consequences of having no money to buy food for the next day. Getting others to shit in their underwear just by hearing the last name is already amusing, but I digress from my soliloquy.

If anything, it made the transition easier, but blurs the line of what I want, and what is expected by society for me to want.

I know the basics of who I'm supposed to be, based on what the people around me has been cooing to my face ever since I woke up in this universe: I was named Reina, and I was born on the 10th of April. The first kanji of my name was a homophone of one of the kanji in my grandfather's name. Said grandfather was supposedly torn between relief, for my safe arrival after a purportedly difficult pregnancy, and grief for my mother, who despite me having been born, was still not content enough with the current state of affairs to want to continue living for her first (and only, I concluded, when I wasn't carried to her rooms anymore after a couple of years and I still have not encountered any of those things called siblings or children) daughter, thus leaving me under the care of her family, which wasn't that much of a difference since I spent most of my waking days with her brother when he wasn't busy. I did hear one of the maids saying that it was because of a broken heart or something, and despite having Uncle reassure me that my mother didn't want to leave me, the bottom line was that she did. And I will not begrudge her for that.

After all, it was hard to resent someone I barely knew.

Of course, that isn't to say that I didn't spend any time with her. I have maybe one distinct memory of her before she passed away, and with time, I know I would start blurring away the negative memories, and just retain the good ones diffused with that lovely warm haze we call nostalgia. If this would be that one evocative memory of her, then so be it.

The same could be said as to what was happening steadily to my past memories of my old world. I know which universe I'm currently in and the secrets both dark and light it kept, I know the lessons I learned and the titles of the books I've read from my old life but nothing personal about me as a person, I know which clan I was blessed to be born into, and I know that I was reincarnated into a world I thought was only fictional. Sometimes, that was all it took to get your bearings and to move on with life.

Although, can I consider myself a changeling if I wasn't all that sure that a different version of me even existed before I was reincarnated? Was the child of my mother part of canon lore, or did I enter this world this way through mere happenstance?

And did it matter in the long run?

…I'm deviating.

Anyway, I will admit that I had an idyllic childhood, if not a bit repetitive, and I'm not ashamed of it. I was pampered, because I was the only child in the manor for quite a long time even after Uncle got married to some noblewoman, which meant I was also fettered for the same reason. I knew this wasn't always the case, since I do remember being chauffeured around with my caretaker Shigemori to the different parts of the aristocratic district when I was younger, and I believed that would have continued if not for the fact I was 'threatened' by a nobleman whilst in the safety of said district, and had to be saved by another noble. The only one who I knew was present during that 'traumatising' encounter was Shigemori, and she continuously worked to expurgate my memory of that day, and I am surprised to say that it worked after a while, to the extent I wasn't even sure why it was supposedly traumatising. My only mementos of it were my immediate confinement to the manor, and the enveloping warm spiritual pressure from the noble that rescued me.

I never saw beyond the walls of the manor after the incident with that strange man, and only until I was able to scale up the blossom trees by myself did I see beyond, although someone from the manor would always try to stop me in fear of me getting hurt. I didn't have friends, but I wasn't a lonely child since I was quite good at being alone. I'd read any book I can get my hands on, explore the manor, make up imaginary universes. I could live inside my head and be entertained. Actually, I had to remember to be with people. Occasionally, I would see dark flashes move about the perimeter, but that was a rare occasion and only when I remembered to try to look for them. There were parties with the other nobles held in the manor, but it was exceedingly rare and often a strange mix of hectic and dull, so I would hide away after doing the customary roundabout. I'm sure there were parties with the Shinigami, but it was usually conducted elsewhere.

Sometimes, I would stay with my aunt and listen to her nuggets of wisdom on how to be a proper noblewoman while my caretaker would sit me down in front of a mirror to brush my straight black hair to style it in a hairstyle that would be appropriate for whatever was planned for that day. I watched both my pale face and my aunt, strangely transfixed looking at the small beauty marks on my face (three, as my Uncle would point out: one under the right corner of my mouth, situated exactly in between the edge of my lips and my chin, one under my left eye, and one above my left eyebrow) as she showed me the stepping stones of femininity, good manners, and elegance through measured lessons and quick examples we see in our everyday life. Other times I would be seated in front of a governess to be taught in the more rudimentary skills, namely reading, writing, and counting. The language was, thankfully, Japanese, which was something I learned by myself by observing the people around me, so I got through that quickly.

Of course, there were days when I wanted to do something else other than the lessons learned from supposed experts in whatever area they were experts in (tea ceremony, management, the aristocratic network and all it entailed, playing an instrument, etc.), and, after I managed to wheedle my grandfather to show me his collection of books, I decided that this would be my new hideout. After promising that I wouldn't make a mess in these rooms, I was given free rein to read whatever I wanted while both he and Uncle worked with their division.

Who would have thought my love of reading would give me away in a manner I forgot to consider?

As part of my love for books that transcends even universes, I did my best to make sure that they were all in the best condition possible, so initially I avoided using a candle or anything flame-related so as to not accidentally burn anything. In one of those books, there was a passage that described how to create a small orb of light in the palm of your hand, which I've seen Uncle do when I was being fussy and needed a distraction as a baby. And, being the curious little fool that I was, I decided to try my luck and was happy that I succeeded the first time.

Naturally, that led to more experimentation in secret with the other spells I could find, as well as combining some of them, with varied success. I didn't want to be vulnerable in such a dangerous universe, after all.

Standing up after finding a book in one of the lower shelves and shooing away any dust on the skirt of my peach coloured nemaki (which I doubted there was any because the maids of the manor were very particular about this), I raised my hand with my palm facing the ceiling and started focusing. As with all the other versions of this, I felt first more than saw something happening.

It started off somewhere within me, cliché that may sound, but it never did feel particularly foreign. It felt as if it was always there, I just didn't know it was there; 'phantom limb' wasn't right, since I don't believe that something was amputated. It just existed. And then, I finally saw something flickering in the palm of my hand. Exhaling, I forced more of it out of me, watching it grow steadily until it was as big as my head.

When I deemed it big enough, I stared at this ball of light, dismissing the shadows that suddenly appeared and everything else around me as one line of thought went through my mind: 'hello again, my portable non-flammable reading lamp.'

Pleased, I moved around in the now-illuminated room with my book in tow, doing one last check to see if I missed any messes that could cost me my library privileges, before heading out into the dark hallway.

It was there when I suddenly realised there was someone waiting for me to come out.

"Reina."

I can be proud to say that I didn't automatically scream, but I did freeze up.

After a quick second of trying to calm myself down, I turned to see Grandfather only a few steps behind me, his face a blank slate. I was tempted to hide the orb behind my back, but I forced the childish notion since I did remember that it was the only bright thing in the hallway right now, and it would make me look extra guilty if I pretended that I wasn't the cause when all signs (and light) pointed to me.

I wasn't going to pretend he was going senile. It was like playing mental shogi with him, and while I do like the playing the game, even I knew when it was futile to charm my way out.

"Hello, Grandfather." I gave him a quick bow, the orb still floating in my hand. "I thought you and Uncle would be staying in the barracks today."

"Not today." He answered, still gazing passively at me. Grandfather Ginrei was someone I could call the master of true stoicism, with how unflappable he is. I have yet to see him lose his composure, even when he receives an emergency summons in the middle of the night. Maybe this is something that was earned through age, but since the concepts 'ageing' and 'looking your age' was extremely vague in this place and dependent on a myriad of factors that I don't think anyone has ever gotten close to figuring out (I, for one, looked like an eight year old if measured in the way of the world of the living, but I know I've been alive in this universe longer than that), it could also be an inherent trait. "It seems you've progressed much more than I've anticipated."

"With what, Grandfather?" That didn't mean I wasn't willing to assume naïveté to get out of less than ideal situations. It was laughably easy to make most fall for it.

He stepped closer, reaching out to lift my hand with the floating orb. "With your self-taught kidō training." He gazed intently at me, but through experience I knew he wasn't angry at me. That was just his default expression. "I believe you haven't been reciting the incantation as of late, is that right?"

"… no." It wasn't illegal to use these spells without the proper incantation; it was just strongly suggested, especially for those who were starting out. And, technically, I wasn't supposed to be able do the spells even with the incantation because no one taught me how to do it yet since I haven't been assigned a tutor for basic kidō, but I didn't see why that should stop me. I figured out early on that there were souls who offered their services as tutors for members of the aristocracy for this kind of thing since there were many who didn't want to be Shinigami but wanted to know the basics, just in case something happened that their own retainers couldn't handle on time. Or they could use it as a parlour trick to impress their circle. Either or.

While I never verbally said that I wanted to be a Shinigami, I also never rejected the idea every time it was brought up by either the elders or Uncle. I had a burgeoning feeling that Grandfather was well aware of this and was just waiting for me to reveal my true inclinations on the matter without having to voice his opinion.

"Well, I'm impressed with your growth. Maybe it's time I get you started on the rest of the Zankensoki." Dropping my hand, he turned to walk the length of the hallway, and I knew I was supposed to follow even when he didn't say anything. I felt pride when he said that, although it had a tinge of my own dread into it. To begin with the rest of the factors included in Zankensoki means that there was a very good chance I would become a Shinigami in the future, which would make me a player in the game of this universe.

The question still stands; did I even want to change something about this world?

To be completely honest, making this one of the rare times I would be in all my life, all I wanted to do was live peacefully and in control of myself. The problem with having an admittedly simple desire is that there are numerous variations to it, and almost the same number ways it would all fail. The two glaringly obvious paths are either staying as a noble or become a Shinigami. Staying as a noble would grant me that degree of peace and civilian routine, but I wouldn't have a say about my future. And I know all too well that I would never be satisfied with the boring and dull kind of amity being just-a-noble would entail in the future.

'No wonder the other nobles that went down that route went insane in the long run,' I thought with an inward eye roll.

If I decided to try and become a Shinigami, peace and control would be things I have to carefully plan out and work for, but unlike being just-a-noble, it's possible to get both. Add to the fact that being part of the upper nobility gave you many advantages not given to just anyone in any path, it made my choice easy.

Now, it might be the norm to enter the Shin'ō Academy once a soul proves that they do have the necessary requirements to become part of any of the three military arms of Soul Society, and it actually is for almost everyone who can feel hunger. However, there are clear exceptions, namely those who came from one of the Five Noble Families, which is an unwritten rule known to almost everyone in the Seireitei. A member from one of those clans are usually assured either a seated or an unseated position in a division chosen by their clan head and approved by captain of said division, depending on availability of the seat and the skills of the hopeful Shinigami. In fact, the Shiba clan was famous amongst the aristocracy for not exploiting that system by having all of their aspiring Shinigami attend the academy, saying it was 'only fair'.

Well, it was and it wasn't. The criterion for getting the recommendation from the clan head varies, obviously, per clan, which makes it borderline unreliable at times. Since Grandfather is the current clan head, I just know getting his approval would be difficult, to say the least. Honestly, it might even be quicker if I just went through the regular process, but I have a feeling it would be considered downright unusual and highly suspicious for someone from our family.

As for the applicants who came from the Lower Noble Houses, some were exempted, but not all, and it was usually a case-by-case basis. It all depends on the standing of the family, the influence, etc. Usually, most still have to undergo the academe with the rest and graduate to have a chance to get recruited into the division the student wrote down in their assignment preferences, but sometimes even graduating won't be enough to be recruited if the divisions find something lacking in the applicant. There are instances where a member from one of those families would immediately enter a certain division just because the family has a history of serving said division, but as I said, that was on a case-by-case basis, and certainly wasn't the norm in most.

"Grandfather, I have a question."

"Hm?"

"How did you know I was practicing kidō?"

"I could feel your reiatsu." Ah. Right. That. Stupid question really, especially since it was so very elementary: reiryoku is the amount of energy stored within a being, while reiatsu was the pressure a being's reiryoku exerts. Sensing reiryoku was an innate skill that was highly useful in looking for people without having to rely on the five basic senses, and I gradually trained myself to at least memorise the unique reiryoku patterns of the people in the manor, to be able to look for them as well as to hide when I wanted to by hiding my own reiatsu by practicing my control over it until it became second nature to me. I belated realised that Grandfather must have controlled his from pouring out while I was doing kidō, just so I wouldn't be able to sense him around the manor and still be able to keep an eye on everyone. Although, given his position and skill, Grandfather might have other ways of sensing things like this. "Your control over it is commendable most of the time, but it fluctuates every time you use a spell." A pause, and then, "Or when you become embarrassed every time your uncle's friend visits us." He sounded amused, but his expression didn't waver. "I do hope you haven't proposed to anyone else since I last saw you; it would make him extremely sad."

Now I'm eighty percent sure he's making fun of me. Say what you will about the souls from my family, but I assure you we do have a sense of humour somewhere. It's just not one that most can understand or anticipate since we had the tendency to sound dry.

"Do not worry, Grandfather; I haven't proposed to anyone yet. My heart still belongs to him."

A nod that had a touch of fond exasperation. "He'll be pleased to hear that."

Omake: The Princess

It was very clear to those who have been in the service of the Kuchiki family that Ginrei-sama cosseted his first granddaughter, and one could tell that Reina-sama knew it as well. While the sweet girl never asked for anything too extreme, the times she did request something from her grandfather, it was more unexpected than anything, if Shigemori had to be frank.

The memory that first came to mind to the caretaker was when Reina-sama requested to change bedrooms during the family's dinner, from one that overlooked the pond and the wonderful plum blossom trees to an unoccupied one that gave on to a garden had the least foliage in it. When asked why, she said it was because she wished to start her own garden with plants of her choosing.

By the following day, everything in her ladyship's bedroom had been moved to a spacious one that matched all her criteria, with the addition of more bookshelves placed around the room as compared to her previous bedroom. The members of the staff would sometimes see her ladyship planting the seeds she selected in her new private garden during her lesson breaks, looking quite content in the silence that surrounded her.

She also was a good student; she was conscientious and would always right down her notes and would answer when it was necessary and has proven to be able to understand the lesson at an astonishing speed. The one thing that could be negatively said about her ladyship in this manner was that her natural penmanship wasn't the best; calling it 'legible' was too generous, as it was rather chaotic and sporadic. Even Sōjun-sama, who was obviously the favourite of her ladyship amongst her family, was under the impression that, as long as his niece can read it, it was good enough for her.

She would always find her ladyship with a book of some sort, and she knew that wasn't one of her tutor's required readings, but Reina-sama always looked so happy and so focused reading that everyone in the manor learned to leave her be wherever and whenever they come across her, unless she was being called by a senior member of the family or one of the elders. Initially, it seemed that only during the training of the different aspects of Zankensoki with the new teachers could derail the young noble from indulging her habit, but in actuality, her ladyship spent every other waking moment reading to compensate for the supposed time lost.

The thing that made her ladyship peculiar weren't the aforementioned traits, but her tendency to stare at certain people was honestly unnerving. It didn't happen all the time and not towards a lot, as far as she could tell, but she already memorised the sequence to her ladyship's tic after witnessing it as a bystander: she would first stare at the person that caught her interest, unflinchingly. It mattered not if she got caught staring with those piercing bright green eyes of hers; she wasn't shy about it. Then, she would tilt her head slightly to the right, still not looking away, and wouldn't make a move for a while. The last step of the process was her ladyship righting her head back, only for her to smile angelically.

Oh, she knew her ladyship would become a beauty greater than her own mother.

… If only others could see her.

While it pained her to keep her caged away in the manor like a pet bird, she knew that it was for the best for now, especially when that abominable disgrace of a noble encountered the young child the one time she let her out of her sight when they were outside. Shigemori wasn't sure what she was going to do to get her young mistress out of his clutches, but thankfully someone from one of the other noble families swept in and made the decision for her.

Now, as she watched the youngest Kuchiki train using a wooden sword, she could only pray that she would never have to encounter that man again.

Hello, Duckies! I'm still alive, with the second offence for the major felony of authors: a self-insert fic~

To explain why I stopped updating my other story, I'll be frank: I got bored with the universe and it wasn't as inspiring as when I was younger. That's it, really. But, stuck as I am, I still loved the name Reina, so I kept that. The kanji for it is this: 黎奈, which could mean "black apple tree".

I suppose there are many similarities between this Soul!Reina and the Ninja!Reina (this is an SI that will be forced to live in the world, after all), but I'm just making this up as I go. Also, going with my current mindset, I would like to say that I changed as a person in the last five years, but here's hoping.

This was a birthday gift to myself, honestly.