Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY, Roosterteeth does.
There is reference to past Blake/Adam, but it's mostly Roman/Neo and budding Blake/Yang.
This is cross posted on AO3. It's Crack treated seriously and is chock full of innuendo. There are three very suggestive paragraphs, they aren't explicit but if you want to skip them they are the ones written in italics.
I hope this story at least puts a smile on a few faces. Enjoy!
The night sky was clear; the light from the unobstructed moon bathed the area, deepening the shadows. Blake gripped the brickwork corner of the warehouse and leaned around it, careful to remain in the shadows as she examined the area for any sign of hidden threats.
The four girls of team RWBY were stalking the warehouse district on a self appointed mission; looking for clues as to Roman Torchwick's whereabouts. Since there was a high chance of running into the White Fang, and anyone other than a Faunus would be at a disadvantage, Blake had volunteered to scout.
There was a square car park before her, surrounded on all sides by a quartet of warehouses. No lights were on inside or out and the doors were closed and barred. In short; legitimate business hours were long over. The car park itself was similarly deserted. No people moved in the dark, no goods were waiting to be loaded and no vehicles were left on the premises. Even the shadows between the buildings remained empty and still.
Her cat ears twitched beneath her bow, straining for hints of life beyond what her human ears could pick up. She could just make out the distant sounds of night-time traffic from the road, but the only sounds that were closer than that were from her team as they restlessly shuffled behind her.
Seeing and hearing nothing in the immediate area, she gestured back to Ruby, Yang and Weiss that it was clear. Her three teammates quickly jogged up to her position.
Ruby stopped suddenly and sniffed.
"Do you smell that?" She sniffed again, as if she was verifying the scent. Blake exchanged confused glances with Weiss and Yang.
"No, what?" Yang asked.
"It smells like Torchwick." Ruby replied.
"Umm." Yang scratched her head and shot a weird glance at her little sister. Blake inhaled, trying to identify anything familiar in the air.
"Cigars." Ruby clarified.
Right. Blake had only been close to him once, at the docks when she'd held her weapon to his throat, but now that Ruby mentioned it she could smell the god-awful cigars that Torchwick smoked. He was here, or at the very least had been here very recently for the scent to be lingering.
"Oh! For a second there I thought I'd have to have a chat with you about sniffing bad guys."
"Yang!"
"Quiet." Weiss said, halting the sibling teasing in its tracks. She glanced at the nearest buildings. "Which one is it coming from?"
"Let's follow our noses." Ruby tapped her nose, walking forward with purpose.
Between the four of them, it didn't take long to scout out each building and it quickly became obvious that none were occupied by the distinctive thief. Slightly confused, they reconvened in the centre.
"Maybe you imagined it, sis." Yang suggested, with a shrug.
"No, I can smell it too." Blake confirmed.
"Maybe we just missed him." Weiss suggested, worriedly.
"Maybe he's not the only person who smokes that brand of cigar." Blake's perfectly logical statement was dismissed with a scoff and hand wave.
"Pffft, na." Ruby turned her nose to the air and inhaled deeply. "The wind must simply be carrying the scent from somewhere else." she declared.
Sure, that was waaay more reasonable. Blake internally grumbled.
After about a minute's consideration Ruby darted off towards the largest warehouse and then ducked down a darkened alleyway behind it. The three girls shrugged and followed, watching their leader as she occasionally stopped to sniff the air and continue on.
Eventually Ruby led them to a large area full of stacked up shipping containers, near the outer edge of the warehouse district. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary at first glance, but Blake noted that the scent was indeed getting stronger.
Passing through the maze of shipping containers, they eventually found a small building. It was tucked away out of sight with a few containers stacked up next to it, as if they were attempting to camouflage the building. Scattered around the front of the building and taking up most of the work yard were more shipping containers. Several of them were open and sported a distinctive snowflake emblem on their sides.
Schnee Dust Company containers.
There was no visible activity around the containers or the entrance to the warehouse; in fact it would almost look abandoned, if it wasn't for a dim glow emitting from inside, barely visible in the high windows.
Someone was in.
Blake stared at Ruby in silent amazement. The small reaper's ability to find trouble was truly unparalleled.
"Blake, Yang; you two try to get a look inside, Weiss and I will cover the main entrance." Ruby whispered. Blake glanced to Yang, who smirked and struck her fists together.
"Let's do this." Yang's anticipatory grin lit up her face.
Blake nodded decisively; this was it. After all of the anxiety, this was the time to finally put a stop to Torchwick, to stop the White Fang in their tracks and prevent them from duping any more of Vale's desperate Faunus into joining their immoral ranks.
Ruby and Weiss darted out of the shadowed alleyway to the nearest shipping crate. They flattened against it and signalled the all clear, allowing Yang and Blake to move through the darkened yard and up to the containers piled next to the building, beneath the windows. There were two side by side and a third lay lengthways across them. Moving as silently as possible the two swiftly scaled the containers and slowly crept towards the window. Blake followed after Yang as the fiery blonde crawled to the wall and warily rose up on her knees to look through the window.
Her eyes widened comically as she stared, apparently horror-struck for a few seconds before she sharply dropped below the window, hands covering her face.
"My eyes!"
"What did you see? Is he in?"
"Not yet."
What? Blake frowned and shuffled forwards next to her partner. She took a moment to steel herself for whatever awfulness lay within, then kneeled up and peered through the window at-
- Two naked bodies, pale skin gleaming in the soft light of a simple overhead lamp. A pink, white and brown haired woman was perched on the edge of a stack of crates, a tall orange haired man standing directly before her, her knees nudging the outside of his waist. Neo raked her gaze slowly down his body, before flicking her eyes back to his with a smirk. She leaned back on her hands, head tilting back, keeping eye contact with her partner.
Torchwick stepped closer, chuckling quietly with a devilish grin. He slid his hands up from her knees to her hips, leisurely gliding over her skin. her legs curled around the back of his, drawing him flush against her. His left hand skimmed up her body before diving into her long pink and white hair, which he gently gripped and used to nudge her head further back as he leant over her, capturing her lips-
-Blake was dragged roughly back below the window, her eyes still wide and staring in horror.
Dear gods.
She wasn't sure what was worse; that she'd witnessed... what she'd just witnessed, or that she'd been internally narrating as if she was reading Ninja's of Love.
"Well ...he's in."
Yang smothered a laugh with one hand and offered her a fist bump with the other.
"I meant he's here." Blake admonished weakly, attempting to blink away the after image of... that.
"He sure is."
"Yang, this is serious!"
"You're telling me! I think I'm snow-blind, would it kill him to get some sun?"
"Yang!"
"Blake." She cheekily retorted with a mocking groan. Blake averted her eyes as heat crawled up her neck, shaking her head in exasperation.
"What are we supposed to do now?"
"We'll just wait for them to finish up and then bust 'em. No big deal."
"It is a big deal!"
"Well you did get a better view than me-"
"-Yang-"
"-a longer one, too." Yang brazenly winked at her and covered her mouth again, to chuckle quietly.
"Ha! Don't pout, Neo." If she'd thought her cheeks couldn't get any more blood in them, she was wrong as Torchwick's voice softly chided his lover. Blake's feline ears flattened to her head, bow and all, in an attempt to stop them picking up anymore sounds from within the warehouse.
"We need to go," she quickly crawled away from the window "unless you want Ruby to see this?"
"Yeah, that's not happening."Yang sobered instantly and scurried after her partner. The pair descended the shipping containers, careful not to make any sounds that could alert the amorous couple in the warehouse that they were effectively surrounded. Once on the ground again, the two girls hastily darted around towards the front entrance, keeping an eye out for the other half of their team.
Weiss waved to them from a container directly opposite the door. They kept low and quiet as they traversed the ground. No floodlights came on, so there either were no motion sensor lights, or they had been turned off. Blake let out a sigh of relief when they finally reconvened with Ruby and Weiss.
"So, what did you see?" Ruby asked seriously.
"Nothing." The denial defensively spilled out of her mouth the second she opened it. Blake winced. "I mean, he's not here."
"Got a really good view on some crates, though." Yang's delivery couldn't have been any more deadpan, but heat rushed back to Blake's cheeks regardless. Damn it, Yang!
"Were they Schnee Dust crates?" Weiss' question brought her up short. Shooting a quick glance at Yang told her that the fiery blonde was similarly stumped. They hadn't really focussed on the... scenery.
"I... couldn't see a logo, but it's a good bet."
"I thought you said you got a good view-?" a crash from inside the warehouse had all four girls ducking behind the shipping container, holding their collective breath. When nothing emerged from the building and no other sounds came from within, they relaxed.
"What was that?" Ruby asked, pulling out her scythe. Blake and Yang exchanged a brief panicked glance.
"Um, a cat. There was a cat in there." Yang shrugged, attempting nonchalance. Blake nodded fervently.
"Uh, Yeah." Abandoned building. Cat. Made sense. "It must be knocking things off the... desk." She finished lamely.
"Is it trapped?" Ruby's anxiety had immediately switched to concern and she took a step away from their hiding spot as if she was about to launch a rescue mission for the poor imaginary creature.
"I'm sure it's fine, I don't think it got in there by mistake."
"Right, it seemed to know its way around." Yang slyly winked at Blake. Blake's stomach flip-flopped, and she seriously worried her cheeks would be forever stained red.
"Huh, you know Torchwick doesn't seem like a cat person, to me."
"Oh, he's definitely into pus-" Yang's sentence was mercilessly cut off by Blake's elbow hitting her face. Her aura absorbed the blow and she snickered wickedly to herself.
"-purposefully breaking things. Like cats do." Blake forced out, turning her rather hearty elbow attack into a gesture at the stolen shipping containers, lying busted open and abandoned around them.
"Huh, I guess you're right. I never thought of it like that before."
"You two are acting very strangely." Weiss stared at them, annoyed.
"No we're not." Blake denied.
"So what's the plan, Ruby? Do we call it a night?" Yang asked before Weiss could begin her half-baked interrogation.
"I thought you wanted to catch him."
"I do, believe me, but he's not here."
"He will be, though."
"What?"
"You said there were Dust Crates inside, so that means he's going to come back for them. I wonder why he left them unguarded in the first place..."
Yang absently rubbed the back of her head, Blake cleared her throat.
"...oh well." Ruby shrugged and then pumped her fist excitedly. "Why don't we establish a perimeter?"
"A... perimeter?" Blake intoned numbly.
"We need to cover the entrance of the warehouse and watch for him to return. Maybe even scout out the surrounding buildings to make sure this is the only one he's got."
"If he had more than one it would've been on the news." Yang responded dryly. Blake rolled her eyes.
"Right. Then we can set up a surveillance point. This time we'll catch him in the act!"
Yang attempted to disguise her startled laugh as a sudden coughing fit. Blake patted her partner on the back a tad more forcefully than required.
"That's a great idea, Ruby." Weiss said, considering the nearby buildings. "It'll only take five minutes."
"Ten!" Yang croaked out in protest.
"Huh? Ok, ten." Ruby agreed. "Let's get to it, Team!"
"What is taking so long?" Blake bit out, scowling at the warehouse from her perch atop the highest stack of shipping containers. Yang sat next to her, legs swinging over the edge as she perved on... sorry, observed the Criminal duo inside the warehouse.
"Maybe he's just bad at it." Yang suggested, briefly breaking away from the view to check her scroll.
"It can't be that hard."
"It's certainly hard for her."
"Ugh, Yang." Blake rolled her eyes and glowered into the darkness surrounding the building, keeping watch for any movement. As Yang should be doing.
"You make this too easy, Blake." She chuckled, returning to spying on the unaware twosome.
Ruby and Weiss would be back soon, what would they do if Torchwick and Neo still hadn't finished? She supposed they could send their teammates for some snacks to get them out of the area, but what if it didn't work? What if Ruby saw through their attempts at keeping her away from the warehouse? She was exceptionally good at finding herself in the wrong place at the right time, after all.
What if she... saw? What if Ruby decided to try to take them down anyway? Blake shuddered and tried to banish the half formed mental image of that awkward arrest. She'd never be able to look either of the criminals in the face. Or the authorities.
The inevitable debrief would be torturous.
A few more minutes dragged by, the silence stretching on as the girls waited for something to happen.
"He must be getting tired by now." Blake sighed moodily.
"Huh, you might be right. She's taken over."
"Ugh."
"You sure you don't want to look?"
"Positive."
"Your loss." Yang shrugged, with a grin.
"Whaaaaaat? No way!" Yang chuckled to herself.
Blake's ears twitched in irritation, but she refused to turn around.
"Oh, my..."
Blake shook her head; her partner had been loudly making comments like that for the last few minutes. She knew what Yang was trying to do, but it wouldn't work.
"Well, well..."
She owned books racier than what was happening in that warehouse.
"Hot damn."
Probably.
"Huh, I never would have thought of that!"
Blake inhaled deeply, and then slowly let it out.
"Oh ho, you get her, tiger!"
She wouldn't give in to such a ridiculous display of embellishment.
"Wow, I never knew he had it in him." Yang complemented.
It was Torchwick, what could he possibly be getting up to that wasn't completely vanilla?
"I mean it's kinda obvious now, but..."
...What was obvious?
"She's gotta be using her semblance..."
Damn it. What is going on in there?!
"Now that's flexibility!" Yang's filthy chuckle ran through her bones, and Blake finally admitted defeat. The dark haired teen turned around just in time to see Yang lean forward, fiddling with the focus of her binoculars.
"Yang...let me see." She asked, holding out her hand.
"Huh? I thought this was 'crude' and 'morally reprehensible'?" Yang teased in overdramatic 'shock' as she turned away from the naughty display.
"You've been making those comments just to make me curious, so give me the binoculars."
"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't." She arched an eyebrow at Blake as she pretended to mull it over. She gave in with a grin and held out the binoculars. "You know what they say about curiosity killing the cat-"
"Spare me that stupid saying." Blake replied as she snatched them up and eagerly brought them to her eyes. She was going to get answers, damn it!
"-'Satisfaction brought it back'." Yang mirthfully intoned in her ear.
"I can't believe you two are watching them!" Weiss's shrill tone cut through the still night air of the isolated area. She had returned once the twenty minute mark had rolled around. Luckily, whatever Gods may or may not exist were looking out for them, as Ruby had decided to visit a nearby cafe that she knew stayed open late.
Telling their teammate what was actually going on inside the warehouse had been difficult. Admitting to her that they were spying on them had been mortifying. For Blake. Yang had all but announced it the moment she realised Weiss was alone.
"Professor Torchwick is teaching, let me take my notes." Yang replied, unaffected.
"Of course, it figures that this is the 'class' in which you would actually pay attention."
"A Sex Ed demonstration with real world applications? You better believe I'm paying attention." Yang sassed cheerily, not even glancing away from the silent scene on the other end of her binoculars.
"Aren't you even slightly embarrassed to be a-a... a Peeping Tom?" Weiss' voice was reduced to a harsh whisper, as if she expected the words alone to somehow summon an irate Torchwick. She stomped a foot, and finally Yang tore herself away from her peepshow to give the fuming heiress her full attention.
"Nope." Yang replied, flashing an unabashed grin and immediately returning to her unfettered view of the partners in crime.
"Hm!" Weiss crossed her arms and turned her piercing gaze on Blake, attempting to instil some sort of repentance in her by glaring in disappointment. "As for you, I know you read some... questionable books, but isn't this taking your predilections too far?"
"Haven't you read some of those books?" Blake raised an eyebrow in challenge from her position beside Yang while she waited for her next turn at watching the oblivious criminal display.
"Of course not!"
"I've seen you reading Blake's books." Yang slyly revealed.
"...I was... simply curious about what kind of things such fiction focuses on."
"It's thrilling stuff, right?" Yang lowered the binoculars again and smirked at Weiss. "Hard to believe any of that could actually be true to life."
"Or physically possible, in some cases." Blake added, thoughtfully eyeing the currently idle binoculars in Yang's grasp.
"Want to find out if any of it is accurate?" Yang dangled the binoculars in front of the sexually repressed Ice Queen, like the proverbial forbidden fruit. Weiss turned a few shades pinker.
"You can't be serious!"
"I was surprised myself, especially considering who we are watching." Blake noted, pulling her knees close to her chest and resting her head on them. "I was expecting to see something far more selfish or... degrading." From the corner of her eye she noticed Yang frown and turn a sharp glance at her. Blake tilted her head away, allowing her hair to fall between them.
"Well, Weiss? Class is in session and Professor Torchwick is just getting started."
"But... we've been out here for almost half an hour?" Yang scoffed at Weiss' exaggeration, but didn't refute it.
"Are you going to be at the bottomof the class, or on top?" Yang asked, glee evident in her voice, as she swung the binoculars tantalisingly side to side. "Just don't tell Ruby."
"...Alright, but I'm only doing this-"
"Yeah yeah, we totally twisted your arm. Second window from the left." Blake glanced through the curtain of her hair as Yang released the binoculars to Weiss, who snatched them up and brought them to her eyes without hesitation.
So much for her righteous indignation, the cat Faunus thought wryly, even I lasted longer than that. Yang's just that good at talking people into wild things. Blake heard her partner softly sigh and shuffle uncomfortably in place. She felt her eyes boring into the side of her head and curled further away, not daring to look around. Trust me to ruin the fun, she thought, disappointed in herself.
She couldn't help it though. Out of all the things to send her back to gloomy memories, one thing she had seen stuck in her mind.
Their bodies glistened with sweat, pressed together and moving with frenetic energy. Torchwick dipped his head to her neck, gently biting and licking down to her shoulder. Neo's back arched and her mouth opened soundlessly. She reached a hand up, curving it over the back of his nape, tapping delicately. She didn't speak but he reacted as if she had, pulling back and catching her gaze as she stared up at him. They simply grinned to each other, shamelessly revelling in the moment and the urgency fled, giving way to a slower pace.
Blake couldn't guess at the nature of Torchwick's true relationship with Neo, but after seeing what she had, she couldn't stop herself from wondering, when was the last time Adam looked at me like that? She frowned as she tried to recall the last time he was happy to see her, happy to be with her... just happy.
It was so very long ago.
It hadn't always been so awful. Adam had been wonderful in the beginning, he'd genuinely cared for her. The terrible things he had witnessed, that he had suffered, lit a fire in his soul. It spurred him on to strive for a better future, a future that would see none of those terrible things happen to anyone else.
She had thought herself so lucky that such an amazing person wanted to be with her.
Then things slowly began to change, and eventually she noticed he was no longer with her to be happy, but to stop her being happy without him.
Blake was dragged back to the present by Yang's upbeat tone.
"That good, huh?"
Weiss gasped at the interruption and pulled the binoculars away to stare wide-eyed at Yang, who nodded encouragingly even as she cackled through the filthiest grin that Blake had ever seen her sporting. The dark haired girl watched as Weiss lost the battle between her scandalised surprise and the hilarity of the situation they were in and joined the blonde brawler in laughing.
Just then, Blake felt Yang's arm swiftly snake around her shoulders. She sat up, surprised by the contact, and her partner took the opportunity to briefly squeeze her to her side. Lavender eyes mischievously met hers and Blake's stomach fluttered. She couldn't help the answering smile that took over her.
Just like that she was effortlessly enfolded back into the moment, giggling breathlessly with her two co-conspirators and the melancholy that had been pulling at her was stymied once more.
"Hey, stop! Help!"
Hearing the desperate shout, all thoughts of confectionary treats vanished and Ruby Rose dashed forwards up the street. Dissipating into petals, she activated her semblance and shot forward, seeking out the plea for aid. Turning the corner at speed, she dropped her semblance and took in the situation.
A shopkeeper was cowering behind one of his counters; he'd probably just been robbed or at least threatened. There was someone standing outside of the shop door on the street, waving a fist at the backs of several men, possibly a customer or a passerby. Almost certainly the one she'd just heard shouting for help.
Further up the street were several men in dark clothing, walking away from the store. They were dressed similarly to, but not the same as, the goons that Torchwick had hired. They were carrying large briefcases, very reminiscent of the ones that the aforementioned goons had been filling with Dust.
She made her decision, and in less than a second she was directly in the path of the criminals, forcing them to stumble to a stop. They took one look at her and raised their weapons. Clearly they recognised a Huntress-in-training. They fired without hesitation; luckily Ruby was prepared for it. She spun Crescent Rose, deflecting the bullets harmlessly into the stonework of the nearby buildings.
Seeing how ineffective their bullets were, the criminals dropped their guns (dull and ordinary civilian technology, ugh) and pulled out their melee weaponry. Ruby grinned at the assortment of bats, crowbars and clubs in pitiless satisfaction. This was just like the night she'd gotten into Beacon.
It wouldn't take her long to clean up this riff-raff.
She spared a thought for her team, whom she had left laying in wait on the off chance that Torchwick would turn up for those crates. They had to be so bored watching an almost empty warehouse. She tried not to feel guilty as she threw herself into the exhilarating fight.
If he did appear while she was away, she had faith that her team were ready for any tricks that the stylish thief had in store for them.
"Alright, I've got two more pairs of binoculars, though I doubt they are as powerful as Yang's."
"Shouldn't matter, they're not that far away." Yang shrugged.
"Thank you, Weiss." Blake eagerly accepted the proffered binoculars.
"You're welcome, now what have I missed?" She asked, sitting down primly on the other side of Yang, legs hanging over the edge of the shipping container.
"They've moved to the wall." Blake supplied.
"Again? But she can't get proper leverage like that." Weiss protested as she brought up her new binoculars.
"Yeah, you'd think he'd get that after she tore the map down trying to hold onto something." Yang agreed, shaking her head. "On the bright side, I can clearly see the Schnee Dust Company logo now."
"Oh. Great."
"Shouldn't Ruby be back by now?"
"Nah, she's waiting for a fresh batch of cookies, the cafe owner bakes them himself." Yang checked her scroll, nodding and pointing to the last message Ruby had sent.
"Oh, ask her to try to bring back something warm, my fingers are becoming quite chilled." Weiss requested, rubbing her hands together.
"Hot chocolate to go... times three..." Yang muttered as she typed out the message.
"It doesn't usually take this long, right?" Weiss asked, confused, waving vaguely in the direction of the warehouse. "I mean, in the books it's over in a few minutes."
"The books can't really write it out in real time though,-" Blake supplied, absently lifting one shoulder in a half shrug.
"-I know, but-"
"-and this particular encounter is absolutely taking this long."
"-well... yes, but-"
"So maybe this is how it normally goes." Yang agreed.
"-I guess..."
"Oh! Maybe it's his semblance!" Yang burst out laughing, and the others couldn't help but dissolve into giggles with her.
"Men." The girls all lowered their binoculars and shook their heads in condemnation of the only sexual encounter the majority of them had ever been privy to.
At some point Torchwick had apparently decided to stop getting Neo all the way off and had begun to tease her instead. They weren't sure why he suddenly required the long pauses in activity, but this was the third time he'd built her up to suddenly stop. Even if Neo wasn't getting frustrated, the three of them were on her behalf.
Everyone knew that, according to locker room legend, men were selfish in sex, and didn't this just prove it?
Yang's scroll beeped the new hour at her.
"Huh, we've been here for almost 40 minutes."
So, so selfish.
"Ugh, you wouldn't believe how hard it is walking without spilling these!" Ruby piped up, making the three peeping toms jump a foot in the air. The three girls were so engrossed in the hour-long work out that they missed the sound of Ruby returning, cup holder in hand.
"Ruby!"
"Uh, nothing!" Weiss shouted unprompted, and then yelped as Yang kicked her shin.
"She means nothing happened here while you were away." Yang smoothly supplied. Weiss and Blake nodded vigorously. "The crates are still there."
"Huh?" she glanced over at the warehouse and rolled her eyes. "You mean he's still not come?"
"...um-"
"I didn't think it would take this long." The red menace groused.
"I know, right?" Weiss agreed, massaging her shin. Upon seeing Yang's eyes narrowing she quickly shuffled further away from her yellow teammate.
Ruby passed the warm drinks out and a couple of cookies each. Blake eyed the small number of baked goods suspiciously.
"I thought they made a whole batch?"
"Uh! No... no, just a few cookies is all I had!" Ruby insisted, quickly sipping her hot chocolate. The four girls took a moment to warm their hands and enjoy their tasty treats.
"I don't think it's going to happen tonight Ruby." Yang said, leadingly. "We should probably call it a night."
"I guess." Ruby muttered, dejectedly. She sighed and then shrugged. "At least I managed to stop a robbery tonight, so it wasn't a complete waste of time."
"A robbery?"
"Yeah, another Dust shop. The Police said that despite all Torchwick's robberies, it's not showing up on the market. It's getting scarce, so this gang saw an opportunity and just went for it."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Weiss demanded.
"I could handle it, besides you guys were watching out for Torchwick himself. That's a way bigger deal." Ruby demurred. Blake nodded, that was certainly true. She turned back to the warehouse-
The light was out.
"Uh, guys?" she pointed to the darkened and now properly abandoned building.
"No way!" Quickly Yang and Weiss brought their binoculars up. There was no movement from within. The crates and the thieves were gone.
"How did he sneak by us?" Weiss asked, in numb shock.
"Oh no!" dismayed, Ruby covered her cheeks. "This is all my fault!"
"It's not your fault, Ruby." Blake absently consoled their crimson leader.
"It is my fault! You were all watching the warehouse until I distracted you." Ruby wailed.
And isn't that the kicker, Blake thought, cringing hard on the inside. For a whole hour they'd attentively monitored the two criminals' amorous activities.
And they hadn't gotten to see how it ended.
"If I'd taken a few minutes longer to get here, you could've caught him as soon as he came!"
"..."
"If I'd eaten all the cookies instead of a few, he wouldn't have been able to get out unseen!"
"..."
"If only... darn it! I guess he got lucky tonight."
"Please stop talking, Ruby."
Thank you for reading this slice of madness. :)
I'll start posting my RWBY Pirate AU here after a few more chapters on AO3.