Nora Delrio wasn't a woman who was easily shaken. A couple stints in the slammer did wonders to toughen someone up, if gang life didn't already do that before the cops threw you in the klink.
That said, having a 9mil piece leveled right at your nose wasn't something anyone particularly cared for, much less the Latina on the receiving end of said piece.
She'd wonder more how these cabrons actually smuggled it onto Inna De Poona if she hadn't brought her own tools of the trade along with her.
"You fuckin' deaf there, Chica?" one of them demanded, "We asked where our fuckin' money is; who do you think's been supplyin' you on this trash heap of an island?"
"Not your pasty white asses, that's for sure!"
...one of these days she needed to do something about this compulsive sarcasm in survival situations; it might get her killed if she wasn't careful.
Fortunately, the three punks standing in her room found this statement hilarious.
"Will you chucklefucks get a load of this bitch?" the one holding the gun guffawed (waving his gun around randomly while he did), "She thinks she can talk about to us! Like she ain't some punk dealer in the ass-end of nowhere!" Then he re-aimed the gun at her face, "So why don't you stop fucking around and give us the money before we-"
Suddenly, the door flung open, a somewhat frazzled-looking Candace burst in and rushed past the four of them. "Don't mind me; I just need my other shoes!" she called before disappearing into her room.
No one, not even Nora, really knew what to make of that.
"...OK, anyway!" Gun Boy chambered a round. "Am I gonna have to get angry, or are you gonna-"
Candace poked her head back out, "Hey, Nora? Have you seen my pumps? You know, the clear ones? I need them for my next show."
Dios Mio...does she not realize what's fuckin' going on?
Fortunately, the young stripper finally seemed to realize that she and her roommate weren't alone right now.
...however, this was still Candace we're talking about here..
"...Oh!" she gasped, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company…!" She stepped into the open, holding a pair of studded heels in one hand, seemingly oblivious to the potential danger she was walking into. "Hi, I'm Candace: Nora's roommate. She didn't mention she was havin' guests over!"
"I wasn't," the Latina hissed. "And what are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you still be at the club?"
Please take the hint, please take the hint, please take the hint…
"Oh, I've got a few minutes before my next show," she cheerfully explained, "but I need my pair of pumps made out of that clear stuff, and I forgot to grab them when I left earlier." She sat next to Nora on their shared couch, then glanced directly at the older woman, "Well; aren't you gunna introduce your friends?"
"...is this bitch for real?" the third goon whispered to his gunless partner, who shrugged in response.
"Candace, chica, you should probably get back to the club," Nora said, slowly and deliberately. The stripper's "Bless her heart" energy was strong, and someone these punks hadn't just decided to shoot her on sight, so the Latina needed to make sure she got the hint without tipping her hand too much. "I'll tell you all about this later."
"Aww...you never let me meet your friends!" The pink-haired girl pouted and crossed her arms. "I like meeting new people, you know…"
In any other situation, Nora would have taken the time to explain to her friend that her other "friends" weren't the type of people with who Candace would get along in any meaningful way.
Because those hypothetical other situations didn't have a fucking gun in them.
Also, Gun Boy decided to burst into laughter.
"Oh, this is rich...and there I thought this ho was dumb trying to act tough, but this bitch-" He waggled the gun in Candace's direction briefly. "-just takes the fuckin' cake!"
Candace leaned in and stage whispered to Nora "I think he's talkin' 'bout you, Nora."
"For real, she probably thinks 2+2 makes 5."
"No it don't," Candace spoke up, "it makes 22." She looked incredibly proud of herself.
This sent all three of them laughing.
"She probably has to ask what the number for '911' is!" one of the other goons contributed, eliciting more laughter.
"Only when I need to use a payphone," she informed them.
Meanwhile, Nora was slowly inching her hand toward a baseball bat she kept behind the couch in case of intruders.
Her knife was back in her room.
"I'll bet that when she looks in a mirror, she thinks there another person on the other side!"
"Her name is Sprinkles, and we're not talkin' to each other right now," she huffed.
They were straight-up guffawing now.
That's it...keep distracting yourselves…
Gun Boy decided to try another quip. "If you put her next to a blow-up doll to see which one is more intelligent...the blow-up doll would win cuz, ironically, it knows how to keep its fucking mouth shut!"
As the three punks continued to crack themselves up, something seemed to click in Candace's mind, her expression morphing to one similar to a sad puppy.
"...are you callin' me stupid?"
"Oh, was I being too obtuse?" Gun Boy asked. "Why don't I just spell it out for you?" He then started using a sing-song voice, "S-t-u...p-i-d...b-i-t-c-h.~"
Don't worry, Hermana, I'll give him a few extra whacks for-
All of a sudden, Gun Boy's eyes bugged out to the size of dinner plates, his voice coming out in little squeaks.
Candace was now standing up, the toe of her shoe firmly planted in his groin.
"'Stupid' is a mean word," Candace said, "and I don't like meanies." She then sent a mean left hook into his face, sending him flying into the wall.
Needless to say, Nora was not expecting the usually meek and gentle stripper to be such a badass.
Holy fuck…!
"Hey, Nora?"
This shook the Latina out of her brief stupor. "...yeah?"
"Could you hold this for me? I need to use both of my hands right now." She tossed Gun Boy's gun over to Nora, who fumbled a bit before she caught it.
Wait, when did she-?
The other two goons also took a moment to recover from the shock of what just happened, rushed Candace, who then swung her purse at them, managing to knock the one goon into the other, causing both of them to collide into the same spot on the wall their apparent leader did.
The whole exchange barely took thirty seconds.
"Didn't your mamas ever tell you to treat women nicely?" she lectured them, though whether any were still conscious enough to receive the message was TBD.
"Fuck, girl!" Nora finally exclaimed, "When the hell'd you learn how to be a badass?"
"Oh, my Mama made sure I knew how to defend myself," she explained. "'Candace', she told me, 'If a man don't treat a lady right, you gotta know how to show him the error of his ways'. She also said to always carry a purse so I'd always have a weapon."
"Yeah, that makes sense...what do you have in there anyway, a brick?"
The stripper gasped. "How'd you know?" She dug around in her purse for a moment before pulling out a loose brick, looking very satisfied. "I always make sure all my bags have one in them!"
...there wasn't really anything Nora could say about this.
"A-anyway, didn't you say you had to get back to the club soon?"
"Oh, you're right!" She rushed back into her room, emerging a minute later with her elusive pumps in hand. "Found 'em; they were in my closet the whole time!"
Where else would they be? Nora wondered but held back from saying so aloud. She knew Candace could be a bit scatterbrained, and constantly pointing that out only made the poor girl depressed.
"Well, have fun. Oh! And could you tell Abia to get security over here? I need to...do some housekeeping first."
"...Oh, so you can hide your drugs?"
She was just thankful they weren't in public when Candace blurted that out this time.
"...yes, so I can hide my drugs."
"Ok then, I'll let her know!" She then hurried out the door again, once again forgetting to actually shut it behind her.
Madre de Dios, what am I gonna do with that girl?
fin. _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ I think this one basically speaks for itself, so blah blah blah, stay safe, be Excellent to each other. See y'all in the next fic!